starshinebby
Proud new mother!
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2012
- Messages
- 388
- Reaction score
- 0
Just need to vent, really.
Ever since my OH's father cause a drunk scene with both me and OH, I haven't felt comfortable around him. He said some pretty nasty things towards both of us, even going so far as to tell OH not to bring me around anymore because "you know why" whatever that means. (OH and I can't figure it out, though there have been some comments from FIL about hoping our son comes out with blonde hair and blue eyes. But obviously I'm part African American making that an unlikely outcome, not impossible, just very unlikely.)
Anyway, since then he hasn't apologized about what he said or that he beat up my OH. It's kind of got pushed aside, and although I want (and deserve) an apology, OH said that it's not going to happen so I shouldn't hold my breath waiting for it. So I've tired to be as civil as possible, but obviously I can't just shake the uncomfortable feeling I get when around his father.
Recently, him and his dad helped me and my family move into a bigger house. While in the process of moving, his dad needed to borrow some money to pay for car insurance ($200). Now we have never borrowed money from his family. Never asked for it, and never will. We gave him what he needed from our savings, which was about all the savings we had left after buying some things for our son. No problem.
Now his dad offered to clean the carpets of the old house for my family for $200 and was going to use it to pay us back. Again, that was fine. Well my family is struggling just as they are and between the move and expenses, they can't pay us right away which is fine and we understand. It's just going to go back into savings and I know my family won't screw us over and not give us the money.
After settling that, his Dad asks to borrow another $100 to hold him over until he gets paid. Not wanting to completely deplete all our savings I agreed to let him have $80. He's supposed to be paying us back tomorrow when we go over to watch the Super Bowl, but now he wants us to use that money to buy the food for a party he invited us to.
This upsets me and makes me not even want to go. All the money is supposed to go back into savings as we need to buy a new car soon and it feels as though we're providing for the whole party (I refuse to buy the alcohol as I'm not drinking so why should we buy everyone's alcohol?) OH thinks I'm being unreasonable not wanting to go. But knowing there's going to be drinking involved and that we're being asked to buy the majority of the food for a party we're invited to seems ridiculous, especially after we just let him borrow $280!
I don't know.. I'm just not looking forward to being over at OH's family's house. Whenever I'm quite (like I usual am) people get offended and say I have an attitude when it's just that I don't feel welcomed or comfortable there anymore. I know it's going to start some kind of argument, but honestly I'm too tired to fake anything. I'm pregnant, tired, have college and other things to worry about, I could really careless if they think I have an attitude or not because I'm too tired to fake being excited about football (which I don't care for anyway). I just see it as time that I could have spent doing homework and studying.
Collectively, all these things make me want to just stay home. It might not have been so bad if FIL hadn't asked us to buy the food. Going out the day before or the day of Super Bowl is so chaotic, it just adds to my stress. And knowing that no matter what I do, they'll assume I have an attitude about something just makes me even less willing to go.
Sorry for the novel. I'm just so stressed and want to cry. I feel as though no one understands where I'm coming from with this, especially OH. I mean, I can tell that it's mostly stress and my hormonal state that is making me like this, but I don't see why that's not a good reason to take what I'm saying into serious consideration.
Any advice would be helpful. I feel like crap. :/
Ever since my OH's father cause a drunk scene with both me and OH, I haven't felt comfortable around him. He said some pretty nasty things towards both of us, even going so far as to tell OH not to bring me around anymore because "you know why" whatever that means. (OH and I can't figure it out, though there have been some comments from FIL about hoping our son comes out with blonde hair and blue eyes. But obviously I'm part African American making that an unlikely outcome, not impossible, just very unlikely.)
Anyway, since then he hasn't apologized about what he said or that he beat up my OH. It's kind of got pushed aside, and although I want (and deserve) an apology, OH said that it's not going to happen so I shouldn't hold my breath waiting for it. So I've tired to be as civil as possible, but obviously I can't just shake the uncomfortable feeling I get when around his father.
Recently, him and his dad helped me and my family move into a bigger house. While in the process of moving, his dad needed to borrow some money to pay for car insurance ($200). Now we have never borrowed money from his family. Never asked for it, and never will. We gave him what he needed from our savings, which was about all the savings we had left after buying some things for our son. No problem.
Now his dad offered to clean the carpets of the old house for my family for $200 and was going to use it to pay us back. Again, that was fine. Well my family is struggling just as they are and between the move and expenses, they can't pay us right away which is fine and we understand. It's just going to go back into savings and I know my family won't screw us over and not give us the money.
After settling that, his Dad asks to borrow another $100 to hold him over until he gets paid. Not wanting to completely deplete all our savings I agreed to let him have $80. He's supposed to be paying us back tomorrow when we go over to watch the Super Bowl, but now he wants us to use that money to buy the food for a party he invited us to.
This upsets me and makes me not even want to go. All the money is supposed to go back into savings as we need to buy a new car soon and it feels as though we're providing for the whole party (I refuse to buy the alcohol as I'm not drinking so why should we buy everyone's alcohol?) OH thinks I'm being unreasonable not wanting to go. But knowing there's going to be drinking involved and that we're being asked to buy the majority of the food for a party we're invited to seems ridiculous, especially after we just let him borrow $280!
I don't know.. I'm just not looking forward to being over at OH's family's house. Whenever I'm quite (like I usual am) people get offended and say I have an attitude when it's just that I don't feel welcomed or comfortable there anymore. I know it's going to start some kind of argument, but honestly I'm too tired to fake anything. I'm pregnant, tired, have college and other things to worry about, I could really careless if they think I have an attitude or not because I'm too tired to fake being excited about football (which I don't care for anyway). I just see it as time that I could have spent doing homework and studying.
Collectively, all these things make me want to just stay home. It might not have been so bad if FIL hadn't asked us to buy the food. Going out the day before or the day of Super Bowl is so chaotic, it just adds to my stress. And knowing that no matter what I do, they'll assume I have an attitude about something just makes me even less willing to go.
Sorry for the novel. I'm just so stressed and want to cry. I feel as though no one understands where I'm coming from with this, especially OH. I mean, I can tell that it's mostly stress and my hormonal state that is making me like this, but I don't see why that's not a good reason to take what I'm saying into serious consideration.
Any advice would be helpful. I feel like crap. :/