'Just relax, It'll happen' and other stupid things people say...

[kissmequick]

I joined a while ago but just lurked about on here!

It's really nice actually talking to people who understand where i'm coming from. If one more person tells me to 'relax and that it will happen when the time is right' i might well punch them on the nose! What did they think i was doing before i got stressed about not conceiving? Duhhhh, it wasn't always stressful! And whats all this about 'when the time is right?' I have a house, a car, a job and a wonderful relationship. What about all that isn't right?

Rant over...

 

[Longing2bAMum]

I know exactly how you feel, I have a friend who has just had a little Girl, when she was pregnant we used to talk alot and she is one of the few who knows we are trying. She would always tell me that the baby decides when it is ready to come to you, she often said that just before they fell pregnant, and they weren't trying, that they worked through some stuff and were really open with eachother about everything they felt relationshipwise. Well we are trying and have been for 8 months, we are so open with eachother, always have been, and are happy together and have the money for a baby, they don't have a job between them and live off of his parents, so how can she justify telling me that a baby isn't ready to come to us, what does she think is wrong with us!!

I have only told a handful of people and most are supportive, or don't even mention it, they're just waiting for me to tell them when I have news, i'm glad about that, because if i had any other people telling me it'll happen when it's meant to, i'd scream "when the f**k is it supposed to happen then?"

 

[kissmequick]

My mum even said it to me, normally very supportive and always says the right thing. I'm guessing she just ran out of things to say. I just turned around and said 'So when is the time right then? I have everything i need. Don't tell me these things happen to the right people at the right time when i know a couple of herion addicts who have a 1 year old!' (family members, i don't know them through choice!) It just pisses me off that these people have a gorgeous baby that lives in squalor and i can't seem to have one of my own.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

[LuluSS]

I agree!

My mom has told me this, my MIL, even my doctor!!!!! It is so annoying!

I went to my doctor the other week. They gave me a pg test and it was of course negative. I told my doctor that I had been TTC for 6 months, she said, "You have been TTC for 6 months and you still aren't pregnant!?", "Oh yeah, your pregnancy test was negative hahaha". She laughed. And then she said, "Oh you are still young so you have plenty of time". I wanted to punch her in the face.

 

[kissmequick]

I think i would have punched her in the face! That is totally unprofessional. Can't you complain? I would, i'm good at complaining. I'm lucky, my Dr has been really supportive and told m to come in even if i just wanted to talk to her about it. God, aren't people horrible?
xx

 

[Bunnylicious]

Yeah had something like that when I was TTC-ing. Really annoying.
I couldn't just "relax", especially after TTC for 6 months and nothing happened.

Though, it worked for my friend. They had been trying for a few months.
Then, on the cycle when they had a week long vacation, 1.5 weeks later they had BFP.

 

[sarahuk]

Some people dont think before opening their mouth! I lost a pregnancy last year and it was really hard emotionally to come round from. And just as I felt I turned a corner my sister turns around and says "when you going to give me a damn niece or nephew..? I would like to be one before im dead you know..."....thanks! Sorry me not being preggo is an inconvenience to you! So what is it to me then? Idiots!

 

[TFSGirl]

I can't stand the "when the time is right" crap that people spout. It's exactly what kissmequick said about heroin addicts (and drunks and little punk 16 year olds) getting pregnant, and the women who really truly want children and who will raise them right and treat them like the gifts that they are struggle for YEARS. It's sickening.

 

[hercules]

I know what you all mean...I'm a substance abuse counselor so I see TONS of pregnant women who are actively using...drives me nuts! If ONE more person says "when you stop stressing about it, that's when it happens" I may kick them in the throat...like I want to stress!?! Who wants to stress about this? Then my cousin, my I have 2 kids but have to live with my parents because we can't afford the kids cousin, is always to one to say "aren't you ever going to have kids?" Well I'm sorry I spend the time to graduate with a master's, get a job, a home, and getting married before starting to try. I thought that was the RIGHT way to do things...not just hop into bed, get pregnant, and marry that guy out of obligation! Ugh...that's I actually feel a little better after that rant lol And knowing I'm not the only one out there who is close to punching people in the face after 7 months ttc

 

[kissmequick]

Doesn't it feel bloody great getting it all off your chest? I feel much better now!

I wish all of us all the luck in the world, we all deserve our future babies so much.

 

[Mazzy17]

One of the main people who tells me to relax is my husband...

 

[Hill2011]

Oh god! It drives me insane. Not been so long for me (in 2ww of cycle 4) at the mo, but seems like a lifetime!!
Now long have you guys been trying?

Do you mind me asking what else the docs said when you wetn after 6 months?
I know they say if you are under 35 not till go till you have been trying for a year (I am 32 this year) but I am thinking of going if nothing has happened and I get to cycle 6 - just to talk to someone about it if nothing else.
I think it would make me feel better to know exactly what would happen after you have been trying for a year - what tests etc.

 

[Mazzy17]

I havent been to the Drs yet and i know one thing they will be saying is for me to lose weight

 

[tobefruitful]

i am so glad this thread was made! i got a kick out of reading the previous posts when people tell me to "relax & it will happen" i calmly try to explain to them that if i could i would. people can be such pains! i even tried 3 months of acupuncture to try to "relax"...obviously that was an epic fail

 

[TFSGirl]

I just don't even talk to people about it anymore. I know stress is one of the big things that drs attribute to inability to conceive and I have a stressful job (apparently 2nd only to being a soldier and tied with Airline pilot :-/). I try not to let it get to me, but I think a lot of learning of meditation might be in order. I FEEL stressed a lot lately which I never used to feel, but people telling me to "relax" only serves to stress me out more! Ugh!

Okay that was very therapeutic thanks I feel better haha

 

[sarahuk]

Indeed they normally wont entertain you until its been about 18 months. Mostly because thats considered a normal period of time in which to conceive

You know what else pisses me off? Ex boyfriends who were a waste of space getting their girlfriends pregnant. It really brings out the annoyance in me why they get to have it and I dont. Maybe thats just my vindictive thoughts but sti...drives me crazy and had two announce it over christmas lol

 

[Mazzy17]

You know what else pisses me off? Ex boyfriends who were a waste of space getting their girlfriends pregnant. It really brings out the annoyance in me why they get to have it and I dont. Maybe thats just my vindictive thoughts but sti...drives me crazy and had two announce it over christmas lol

When my evil ex announced his latest victim is pregnant i thought Haha no longer my problem. He was a first class knob who sucked anyone who cared about him dry and got away with it (WHY was i with him for 2 year is beyond me!!!)

 

[Longing2bAMum]

I love reading your aggressive comments like " Punch them in the face", or "kick them in the throat" I take it you're not normally that aggressive which is why reading it makes me laugh so much, i'm certainly not an aggressive person, but if one more person even asks when we're going to have a baby, or if my mum makes another comment about not being a grandmother yet then i'm definately going to start punching and kicking people lol

 

[TFSGirl]

Indeed they normally wont entertain you until its been about 18 months. Mostly because thats considered a normal period of time in which to conceive

You know what else pisses me off? Ex boyfriends who were a waste of space getting their girlfriends pregnant. It really brings out the annoyance in me why they get to have it and I dont. Maybe thats just my vindictive thoughts but sti...drives me crazy and had two announce it over christmas lol

Ugh, I know exactly what you mean. Drives me bonkers. And then the useless ass doesn't even take care of the babies he creates and the poor things grow up to be with frigging donkeys who are just like their deadbeat dads.

 

[Clucky as]

Hi ladies I have one. Just Go on a weekend away and get drunk and have lots of sex. Thats what worked for us.
Yes so alcohol will work great. How about I take up smoking too . Wtf!!! Makes me want to kick them in the teeth!!