Just thought i'd explain my journey & say hello!

[tag74]

Tara, aren't you forgetting to mention something important, my dear?!?

Louisa, it is so good to hear from you! I miss you tons! I can't wait to hear all about your holiday! I know you'll have a fab time. Love you, lady!

Somehow I got unsubscribed to this thread! Yes I am cautiously optimistically pregnant! I am so nervous though. It took so long to get here I am praying with everything I have that this baby sticks.

Kim, you do look wonderful...it could happen any day now!!!! How exciting!

Kimmy, you and Connor look great!

Lou Lou, enjoy vacation and can't wait to hear all about it!

Jess, oh how exciting for you and the twinsies.

Hope everyone is doing well... I'm in and out of depression, just taking it one day at a time... No more specialists and appointments, we can't afford the NY guy and we have no plan :/

I've good days and bad days but working on having more good than bad days. On the good days we go to beaches and ride our bikes. On bad days I stay home and cry all day...but then I do try to pull myself togehter and have a possitive attitude and I've left it all in God's hands...

Hugs

Kika, have you heard of Dr Frischman? He is in Providence and he is the specialist I turned to. He is wonderful and I almost wonder if you give him a try?

Hey guys I'm home had the most amazing time. Tara- massive congratulations love!!! can't believe it, fab news. Kika it hurts me to hear you're struggling with everything right now. Jesse and i's plans are also on hold as we are seriously considering moving abroad for good.. So I don't wanna do anything just yet because all those chances would be gone. Kim how are you?? How's connor doing?? I am so so so so so excited to see this little boy!!!! I love him like a family member. And same for all you ladies. No more holidays to deal with, so I'll be signing in again daily woo woo wooo love you all xxx

Welcome back Lou lou! So glad you had a wonderful time. Looking forward to hearing about your move plans!

Kimmy, thank you for sharing your experience with depression. I don't know if I can talk to a counsellor, I come here to tell you all my problems and I feel better so a bit like having group counselling but from home a chatted a bit on Facebook with a friend of a friend --> friend connected us cause she's had problem with recurrent miscarriages and thought she and I could share experience. So her advice was keep trying --> she's had 10 miscarriages (due to kariotype problems with either her or the husband, I forgot, so they had to keep trying until they conceived a baby with the right chromosomes, so a bit different problem than mine but still an obstacle in the way of becoming parents) and then a baby girl.

So we decided may be we'd try again and again until it sticks... But now we are faced with another challenge --> husband can't ejaculate...it just doesn't happen and it's so frustrating for both of us. I hope we have better luck next month and if he still has the same problem may be see a specialist for him. Blah...

Lou Lou, so excited to hear about your holiday and plans to move countries. Where did you guys go and which country you want to move to? How's the puppy doing?

Lots of love to all my friends

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this Kika and really praying for you and your family!

 

[LoolaXx]

That's fantastic Tara, especially after that stupid doctor told you earlier this year! See, we told you not to worry xx

Our plans aren't set in stone in fact they're far from it. We are considering a move abroad but obviously it doesn't just happen over night and we have to take a lot into consideration. Education for future babies and my family and horses are the main things holding me back but it's an option we are really thinking about. London will always be home, so if it was to go wrong then we just come back it's simple

Kika how are you holding up? & Kim you're quiet lately is everything okay love?

My poor nan has been in hospital for 11 days. She first went in when we were still on holiday. She woke up in the middle of the night in severe pain so was rushed to hospital by ambulance. They have x-rayed every major part of her body and taken a number of blood tests etc and she had a severe kidney infection! She's 84 so that's the last thing I wanted was her in hospital, but she's coming home tomorrow I've taken the day off work to go collect her as the rest of my family are working.

One more thing.. You know Saskia, she's having a baaaaaaby! So excited

Anyway I'll shut up now, Love you all x

 

[fluffet521]

Louisa, you must give us details about your holiday! And when you say y'all are thinking about moving abroad, where exactly are you thinking of? Congrats on Saskia's pregnancy! I'm sure her health is so much better now that she's in your care, but give us an update! How is she? Healthy as a horse, as they say?

Connor and I are doing well. I'll be 37 weeks on Friday! Looking back, I can't believe how quickly my pregnancy has gone by, especially after being so freaked out at first because of our loss last year. June 5th was one year since we lost our angel. After seeing the movie Heaven Is For Real last month (even though it's been out for a while, probably years!), we decided to name her (we both thought she was a girl). Do y'all remember my favorite name for a girl, Waverly Grace? Well, that is now our angel's name! I will forever have a piece of me missing due to losing her, but for some reason, having given her a name has given me a sense of peace I didn't have before.

Because of my GD, I see a specialist every Tuesday and Friday. I've been seeing my obstetrician weekly for a couple weeks now, and as a matter of fact, I have an appointment with her today and the next 3 Wednesdays. Then Connor is due Friday, 7/17! I can't remember if I've told y'all this or not, but my OB won't let me go past my due date because of the GD (they don't want him to get too big), and they may even induce me a week (or possibly two) early! We're just taking it week by week at this point. The specialist will take Connor's (estimated) measurements again on Friday. They only do the measurements monthly, and last month (5/29), he was already estimated at 5 pounds, 7 ounces! I'll let y'all know how today and Friday's appointments go.

Love you all!

 

[LoolaXx]

Sasky is fantastic now thanks for asking she is like a new horse honestly but she's not rideable due to her past - she just hates it! So we are using her as a broodmare for now.. (A horse used for breeding) but we will only have this one baby from her which we will be keeping!

Kim if we do go, it will be where my dad lives antalya remember I would honestly not think twice about it but there seems so much here holding us back and it's such a shame because we are young with no commitments yet, but it seems like there's too much here to just pack and leave. It's a long process, it just seems too long with too much sorting and planning and sacrificing things in this country but I want it more than anything, it's hard!

I think it's so sweet that you named your angel. I love that. My angel has a name too, also a girls name, Elsie Rose. That's the name I liked originally back then and it just seemed right to call her that, since it probably would of been her name.

Kim, a year since losing my angel was a year on the 3rd June! I feel you, it's hard!

Let us know how appointments go, love you and Connor lots. I'm so excited to see him, well 'see' him as in a photo, but that's good enough

I also wonder how shara is getting on these days it seems like she gave up with BnB completely but I totally understand if that's the case, bless her, the fact she had to go through the pain over again that we all discussed, and Kika too. Part of me doesn't actually want to get pregnant because of the fear of going through that again, I feel like it ripped me apart and now I am obviously black together but not properly you know? Not like I was before.

My holiday was amazing, thanks we met so many amazing people! We didn't actually go to where my dad is this year. We went to another part of Turkey, probably the most popular holiday destination called marmaris. We had a ball and I know drinking isn't the best thing for you but my goodness, one of the nights I honestly have never been anywhere near as drunk as then! I must have had 4 vodka shots, 6 vodkas and coke, 4 cocktails, a fish bowl, and 3/4 yaigerbombs! Drinks in there are buy one get one free (happy hour every hour- as they call it ) it was in a bar/restaurant that I've known the staff there for years so it's ok, a mix of young and older, the owner is 60 and known me since I was 2! So we are all pretty close.. but I was so drunk that people were even recording me!!! Jesse and friends we met walked us back to our hotel and I sat on the bathroom floor and fell face first to the marble floor(OUCH). Got into bed and was sick everywhere, then slept in it!!! woke up the next day I honestly couldn't even turn my head without feeling sick, I must have actually chucked up anot 10-15 times until 8pm the next day! It completely ruined a day of my holiday, I couldnt do anything! We tried to go and chill in a jacuzzi but the smell of chlorine and the bubbles were making me sick.. And then it finally left me about 10pm that night! Was AWFUL! I'm making it sound like all we did was drink lol, this was just one night! Other than that I did have a cocktail or two each night but never tipsy let alone full blown paralytic, I honestly thought I was dying and that's the truth! I was scared lol. Self inflicted however so it served me right. We saw some fantastic things. We went on an amazing boat for a boat trip and went through some caves and swam in some beautiful bays! Watched Dolphins from this boat too. And then we did parasailing and saw huge sea turtles from a great height then another day I went on a horse safari and rode through a turkish village in the mountains and pear trees it was just beautiful! Then just before we came home we went on a quad biking safari which was such fun! They cover you in body mud, and spray you with water whilst a professional photographer takes photos which were absolutely comical lol my face in some of them was so funny! Other than that we spent a lot of time in the hotel around the pool, and of an evening we met the people we met there in the restaurant I mentioned before, but the atmosphere there is really something else! Superb they really know how to get their guests going, all the good popular songs heard in England and obviously America too. We had a ball and made so many memories! Also going to see one of the families we met this weekend as they only love 25 minutes from us. They had 2 daughters who fell in love with me haha they wouldn't leave us alone, I loved them too, so that should be good gutted it's over but onto the next, or possibly onto the move lol we shall see!

Xx

 

[LoolaXx]

Tara very excited to hear all about your scan xx

 

[fluffet521]

I'm so glad to hear about Sasky, and that you'll be keeping her baby!

I do remember Antalya, how exciting! It is so beautiful there. I can also understand you being hesitant to uproot and move your entire lives to a whole new country, though. I know your dad is there, but I'm sure it would still be so different from the UK. Exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time!

I never realized our angel losses were so close together! to you, honey. It was a very emotional day for me, as I'm sure it always is for you, too. And Elsie Rose is a beautiful name. Rest in peace, Elsie and Waverly - your mommies will always love and miss you!

I think about Shara often, and hope she's doing OK. I miss her.

I'm so glad your holiday went well (except for the one night, or day, I should say, as I'm sure you were having a fine time that night until you started feeling sick! ). I think every holiday/vacation should consist of at least one drunken night - they always make for the best stories to tell later! Although I do hate you fell on your face on the marble floor, and hope you weren't hurt too badly! Anyway, the rest of your trip sounds absolutely fab! I'm jealous and wish I could've been there!

How are you liking your new job? Is it still going well?

OK, so here are the updates on me and Connor:

Wednesday's obstetrician appointment - my doctor said she definitely wants to induce me at 38 or 39 weeks, depending on how big Connor measures at Friday's (today's) appointment with the specialist. Regardless, she doesn't want to let me go past 39 weeks because the risks of letting Connor stay in there longer outweigh the benefits (all due to my GD, poor little guy). But I have only gained 19 pounds total, which is pretty amazing considering I have GD! I actually consider it a blessing in disguise because it made me eat more healthy instead of pigging out on whatever I wanted and getting fat(ter) with a fat baby, to boot! My next OB appointment is Wednesday, July 1st, and that's when we'll find out what date the induction will be scheduled for!

Today's specialist appointment - Connor's estimated weight today is 7 pounds, 4 ounces. This was such a relief to me! I was so afraid he was going to be estimated at 8 pounds or more, because he's still gaining weight until he's born! With him only being estimated at 7 pounds, 4 ounces, I'm hoping they won't induce me until 39 weeks (Friday, July 10th) to let his lungs to develop a little more. Like I said before, we won't find out for sure until next Wednesday, but I could be holding Connor in my arms as early as a week from today, but no more than 2 weeks from today! I'm excited, nervous, scared, happy, anxious...so many emotions all at once! Of course, I'll let my SSMs know the details as soon as I know what's going on!

 

[LoolaXx]

Wow Kim he is gonna be here SO soon!!! I remember the night you waited for Shaun to come in from work before you peed on the batch of HPT's that turned up in the post! And then you posted here like 'girls....' , it has FLOWN past! I feel like I've been part of it too, in a funny sort of way! He's healthy though, and a good weight already! So what could be better. He is such a blessing. I'm so excited to see a picture. I know he's gonna be just gorgeous!

 

[tag74]

Scan wasn't good. Empty sac. It's honestly a flip of the coin as only 50% of pregnancies show anything more than a sac at this week but I'm not having a good feeling about this...

I did get blood work. In one week it went from 1400 to 4100. Doesn't seem to be a good rise.

They wanted to do a scan on Monday but I asked it be pushed out until next Thursday as I think that scan will be very telling and will paint a clear picture. Hoping it's a stubborn little bean...but not feeling optimistic. Thanks for your thoughts.

I'll catch up on journals later. xo

 

[LoolaXx]

Ohhhhh Tara I'm so sorry.. This is not the news I wanted to hear however I still have hope for you, please keep positive until Thursday. I know its gonna kill you, though, and I bet you're not gonna be able to get it out of your head until then! I'm praying it's just a stubborn little one and nothing less if so, it's happened to a lot of people I know and given them a right scare! It's common. thinking of you. Xx

 

[LoolaXx]

I have exciting news ... Mine and Jesse's TTC plans are on full blast again. We want this baby!

 

[fluffet521]

Tara, I'm thinking of and praying for you, my sweet friend. I read your journal and love how sweet and supportive your hubby is being - you need that positivity right now. Thank goodness for him! Hopefully Max IS just being stubborn and giving his mommy a scare early on. Let's wait and see how Thursday's scan goes before giving up hope, OK? I like what one of the other ladies on your journal said about if everything goes well without a scare of any kind, that's when it seems we should be concerned. Hang in there, my dear, and know your SSMs are here for you.

Louisa, how exciting! I'm so happy for you and Jesse! I hope that you will be able to enjoy the ride this time, my sweet. Are you planning to chart and temp and all of that? Not that I'm telling you what to do, but it seemed to stress you out so last time, I'm wondering if maybe you shouldn't do all of that and just see where it takes you? By the way, how are you liking your job? I bet you're loving those hours, and having weekends off!

 

[LoolaXx]

Thinking of you today Tara please let us know ASAP how it goes!!!

AF arrived today, I'm pleased about that though because I lost interest in TTC for a couple months, I lost track of absolutely everything! I don't even know how long my cycles are anymore, I didn't long anything for a few months so this period will help me for next cycle and I'm hoping after a short break it could be my month after nearly a year of deciding to TTC, I'm more than ready now and hope it doesn't take too much longer. Xx

 

[fluffet521]

Ladies, I have awesome news! I am being induced on July 4th! I found out at my OB appointment yesterday. I am 1.5 cm dilated, my cervix is soft, AND the doctor could feel Connor's head!!! She said it was a great check-up, so they went ahead and put me on the books for Independence Day! How cool will it be for Connor to have fireworks on (or just before) his birthday every year?!?

Not sure when I'll be getting back on after today, we have so many loose ends to tie up before heading to the hospital Saturday, but I'll do my best to give you girls an update as soon as I can after he's born.

Tara, I can't wait to hear how today's scan went. I've been thinking of you all morning, my dear, and I'm hoping for the best!

Last thing: here are a couple of 3D photos from Tuesday's visit with the specialist. Connor finally stopped playing hard to get and let us see that precious face!

 

[tag74]

Kim, he's gorgeous!!! And I'm so happy for you! A July 4th baby. Unfortunately, I don't have good news and looks like I'll be getting a DnC next week.

But I'm over the moon happy for you! Great news.

 

[fluffet521]

Tara, honey, I am so sorry. I am keeping my hopes up that your blood work and scan will tell a different tale on Monday. 5 weeks and 5 days is still so early! Keep that chin up and don't count little Max out just yet! Love you, girl.

 

[LoolaXx]

Kimmmmmm
I have the biggest smile on my face that is amazing and he is amazing too! I am so excited!!! GOOD LUCK

It goes from good to terrible, I'm so sorry Tara, I was really hoping we would have some good news from you. I'm thinking of you sweet, xxx

 

[LoolaXx]

I bet Kim is in major pain right now .. Thinking of you (in actual fact I can't get you out of my head is probably more appropriate) love you and Connor.

Tara, also thinking of you and still hoping that they got everything wrong. let me know your plans please. Love you beaut. Xx

 

[tag74]

Thanks girls!

Before me...Kim how are you doing?

Lou lou, where are you in your cycle?

Afm: Scan on Monday showed sac had grown and HCG is slowly rising but they said a non-viable pregnancy and D&C was scheduled for Thursday. I do have a second opinion scheduled for tomorrow but don't expect much other than reenforcing my decision is correct.

Thinking of you girls!

 

[LoolaXx]

I bet Connor is here by now! Checking this thread hourly at the moment!!

Hey tara. I'm just at the tail end of AF at the moment. Ready to Rock though hahaha

Not the best news but, There was growth.. So you don't know, you could be pleasantly surprised at your next appointment. I am so hoping you will be. I don't want you to go through that thinking of you.keep us updated. Xx

 

[tag74]

Hi my friends. Kim hope you're having a BABY!

So today confirmed I need the procedure tomorrow. But the tech was thorough, sympathetic and totally reassuring.

I go in at 8:30 tomorrow morning and will probably not be on for a couple days. Just wanted to thank you all for being such amazing friends and supporters. When I'm back on the horse I'll catch up with each of you.

Xoxo