Just turned 40 and I want a 3rd.... I must be crazy

[Bella12]

Hello,

I have 2 children a son and daughter. I'm currently, on my 5 cycle which makes me nervous bc it was easy to get pregnant with 1st two.

I'm positive I want one more but nervous about if it is the right decision. All my what-ifs.

What if I'm too old to get pregnant and the heartache that follows?

What if my body is too old to safely bring baby into the world? My last pregnancy I went into preterm labor at 29 weeks....stayed at hospital 3.5 weeks while rest tried to stop labor....and delivered baby full term.


What if I'm not a good mom bc I'm tired? I feel fine now but when my kiddos are teens, I'll be in my 50s.

Will my baby be healthy? Statistics are not in my favor.

I also feel life society doesn't love when you have more that 2 babies.


So all my praying I get pregnant is shadowed with fear. Anyone else? Think I might be alone.

 

[Reiko_ctu]

Hey girl! Lots of women are having babies “later” on nowadays! Once that sweet babe is in your arms you won’t regret a thing and will just go with the flow. I think it’s worse to stop with the feeling of wanting one more than to fulfill it and maybe make your life a bit harder! At least you can try to make your dream
Of one more come true.

Good luck and I hope it comes quickly for you xx

 

[Bevziibubble]

Lots of ladies have babies at 40+

Good luck!

 

[Bella12]

Thank you ladies! I think I'm getting caught up on a number or perhaps a bunch.

Not sure why I started to doubt things at month 5 of trying. Lol.

Also, it might be too late to second guess things. I took a test super early, bc I had a dentist appointment and figured it couldn't hurt. It is showing a faint positive or evap line.

 

[monroea]

Let's see it! Show me the line!!

 

[JoHio]

I just turned 40 this year and I have FOUR kids and am considering a 5th. I talked to my doctor, a specialist, and even went to a pelvic floor physio and they all, without exception, said if I want a fifth baby, there is no reason my body can't handle it.

Do try not to get caught up on the numbers and statistics. (Easier said than done, I know.) There is so much ageism facing women...but we got this!

I hope your faint line sticks!

 

[Bella12]

Thank you for your kind words! I needed a pep talk.

Sadly, I tested again and the line is getting fainter. I'm praying it sticks but trying to also protect my emotions.

 

[KatBar]

I'm not 40 yet (will be 36 in a few months time), but I can appreciate some of the feelings around having a third!
I gave birth to my first when I was 29, and my second shortly after turning 32. I'm currently 35 and expecting our third in November (she'll be born a few weeks after I turn 36).
I don't feel too old persay, but I did wonder if (considering I already have 2 healthy kids) it was worth putting my slightly older body under the strain of a third pregnancy. So far tho (approaching 23 weeks) I'm doing okay!
I also had the thoughts of 'is it worth the extra stress levels' it will bring, and pulling me away from my older two a bit. I still worry a little bit about this, and just keep crossing everything she's a cruisey baby lol. I'm sure we will adapt tho, and find some balance down the track tho.

I agree with a previous poster, you're more likely to regret not trying, than regret having to be a bit busier with another lil one joining the family.

I know HEAPS of mums at my eldest school have had babies in their 40's (all healthy babies), so I think you'll be okay ! All the best and good luck!!!

 

[Joleen Grace]

I am 47 and 16 weeks. Spontaneous ( no fertility). A couple months before I was talking to my DR about birth control. She said she knows no one who had a successful birth after 45. I also have a 2.5 yr old born 3 weeks before I turned 45. I did have a miscarriage before the 2.5 yr old and this one. I took progesterone with the last one and this one and it seemed to help though we really don't know.

A note I also had a baby at 14... so the oldest and youngest are 33 yr apart.

 

[mimi4]

massive congrats!

 

[Suggerhoney]

I'm 41 and 33+1 weeks pregnant. We started ttc not long after I turned 40 and reading all the statistics scared me so much.

I normally fall pregnant easily and never had to really try try.
But it did take us 11 cycles to fall pregnant with this one.
I did fall pregnant 4 times aged 40 in 2020 but unfortunately they all ended up being a very early miscarriage. I had a bunch of bloods done which came back normol that was after the 3rd loss in a row.
Sadly I went onto have a 4th early loss in October so was referred to the recurrent miscarriage unit.

My age and egg reserve were blamed but I had bloods done to check my egg reserve and I never got them results. Instead I ended up falling pregnant with this one.

Go for it hon.
Good luck

 

[Bella12]

Thank you for the positive story! Any time my kids are fighting, my husband looks at me and says are you sure you want one more.

I know I want is more. I don't know anyone that regrets having baby. I just wish my husband wanted it just as much as I do. Yes, I have concerns but it doesn't stop my desire for one more.

Last cycle ended in a cp. This time around I've had nonstop cramps since ovalation. I have no cm and cervix is low. I think I'm out this time around although it is still reacouple early (5dpo). I just don't remember being this crampy all my other cycles and it is too early to be related to conceiving.

 

[Suggerhoney]

If it helps my cervix I'd still low now. It's soft but low. In early pregnancy it was low and firm and I thought I was out.
Cramps can be a good sign good luck

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thank you for the positive story! Any time my kids are fighting, my husband looks at me and says are you sure you want one more.

I know I want is more. I don't know anyone that regrets having baby. I just wish my husband wanted it just as much as I do. Yes, I have concerns but it doesn't stop my desire for one more.

Last cycle ended in a cp. This time around I've had nonstop cramps since ovalation. I have no cm and cervix is low. I think I'm out this time around although it is still reacouple early (5dpo). I just don't remember being this crampy all my other cycles and it is too early to be related to conceiving.

I'm sorry about the cp

 

[Wish2BMom]

Good luck! I guess the only advice I have is to decouple conceiving vs carrying a baby in your 40's...this is how I had to view it in my head when trying from 37-41 yo.

In your 40's, you have fewer eggs left and they aren't all of the caliber they were in your 20's, so getting pregnant and keeping pregnant are more difficult b/c it's harder to get the 'right' cells to cooperate. You can still get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy, FOR SURE, but just keep in mind that comparing to when you were 20 is apples and oranges.

But carrying a baby is no different from in your 20's-throughout, except for those other factors like your overall health and really if anything just happens with THIS pregnancy. But your body is FINE - I carried my twins at 42 with zero issues, to full term! And they were big babies (for twins!).

Good luck to you!! I hope you get your 3rd!!

 

[mimi4]

Wish2BMom congrats on your twins!

 

[josephine3]

Hi ladies hope you don't mind me sneaking into this group.. I've just turned 35 a few months ago and would really like to ttc a 3rd child. I'm terrified though of how my body would cope with another pregnancy and of course whether I will fall pregnant at all.. We have already been ntnp for about a year and a half but plan to really 'try' after Christmas x

 

[littlewitch]

Hello all. I am 36. TTC #3. This is cycle 3.
Some days I feel crazy for wanting more. Plus after 2 c-sections, pregnancy and delivery is WAY more dangerous.
But here I am TTC, because I really would love a son.