Kind of shocked.....

[EllaAndLyla]

Was in the supermarket earlier and saw a mum and daughter shopping. The daughter (about 3, maybe 4 years old) was kind of moaning a little and asking her mum to buy some bananas in the way kids do 'please please please' etc. The woman grabbed her arm reaaaaally tight and literally screamed in her face 'shut up, its all about you you you, your not getting your stupid bananas, get over it'.

I was so shocked to see the woman getting so angry and kind of violent and scary. The kid started crying afterwards.. But I was thinking, I'd be happy if my daughter was asking me for bananas rather than chocolate, sweets etc. It was horrible to see happen aswell

 

[NuKe]

i wouldnt judge, we don't know what's going on in her life! BUT... had i been there i think my first reaction would also have been shock. what she said doesn't really seem like something you would just shout at your kid, iykwim?

 

[cherryglitter]

i agree with nuke!

 

[EllaAndLyla]

yeah thats what I didn't really understand. It was only bananas!

 

[TwilightAgain]

What a bitch! She should be happy her daughter was asking for bananas. Silly woman!

 

[LittleBoo]

I've had my son whine, tantrum and scream all day and have said something similar. Great to know I'd be judged should any wondermummy spy me losing it after hours of torment by the little monster.

 

[LittleBoo]

"Just STOP IT! The world does NOT revolve around you, okay?!"

But for hours, days actually of keeping my cool, being patient, ignoring bad behaviour, naughty step, talking it out only to be smacked, kicked, headbutted, screamed at and ignored completely, yeah it's quite easy to lose it. Especially when my little angel kicks his tiny baby brother in the face during one of his tantrums.

 

[emme]

Maybe the child had been a little handful that day and the 'i want I want' just got too much, from an outsiders view I'd have been really shocked as like you say Ella its good that she was asking for fruit rather than sweets etc but I'm sure as our babies grow into little terrors there will be points when we snap, we are all human after all xx

 

[LittleBoo]

Sorry got a little angry then, I've had too many stares/comments when I've lost it, funny no one comes to help when he's screaming and kicking me in the face I know I'm meant to be his role model and 99% of the time I'm calm and patient and do the right thing. Just seems the second I break I'm the worst mother in the world, no one follows me round seeing what kind of day it's been, even during my last few weeks of pregnancy he'd kick out screaming and I'd be terrified he'd hurt the baby and if I shouted I'd have all sorts of nasty comments, regardless of how he was behaving. "Kids having kids" "disgusting, wonder where he's learnt that behaviour?"

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I can't imagine losing it in public but I shouted at Ruby at home the other day and felt hideous about it, I would completely accept people judging me for it as I was wrong!

 

[Saaaally]

Is bananas, not chocolate/burgers/mcdonalds...
You can get a huge thing of bananas for a pound, enough to last atleast a week. They are fruit so i dont see the problem personally.

I only ever had one tantrum and that was over sprouts because in my naive little mind we didnt buy enough Hahahaa!

But in all fairness to the mum also, the child might have been a monkey all day. But that is never ever any reason to grab the childs arm like that...

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

Do u no what I shouted at dd like this today. She is starting to sound so spoilt and has full on screaming crying match if she doesn't get what she wants and it's hard word, she tried to make her self sick earlier so yes I snapped and kind of dragged get away from the sweets!

 

[xemmax]

I don't think it's fair to judge, anything could have been going on prior to that for her to snap.

I don't understand people's attitude of "it's bananas, not chocolate". She could have been stressed out and refused to buy them because she only had the exact amount of money for what she'd intended to buy, she could have given her daughter bananas every day for the last week and seen her take a bite and then chuck it away or rub it into her clothes on purpose, let's face it, we have no idea why she snapped but it could have been anything and she could be feeling absolutely dreadful about it now.

 

[suzib76]

i dont see the relevance of its only bananas its not chocolate, like that makes a difference

if mum says no and child keeps on and on and on si she expected to give in and be thankful the child is asking for fruit? no of course not, she should absolutely stand by her decision initially

as for losing it and shouting im afraid thats part of being a parent and not everyone is angelic and perfect, judging that woman on one instance is awful imo nobody knows what she was going through in her life that brought her to the end of her tether

i have an 8 year old with aspergers syndrome and have a lot of firts hand experience of the 'perfect parents' judging me when out and about

and im really sorry to say this as i dont mean to direct it at anyone in particular but if you havent been at that stage in parenthood (with a 3/4 yo) you shouldnt be passing judgement on anyone who has

 

[EllaAndLyla]

I wasn't judging I was just a bit shocked thats all....

 

[suzib76]

why? do you think kids should be able to demand fruit but not sweets?

 

[kelzyboo]

I knowfirst hand how easy it is to judge when you see something like that, i've been guilty of it myself at times, i admit it! We allmakesnapjudgements so easitly without knowing a single thing about the situation.

I also admit i've snapped once or twice in public like that, over something equally as silly as asking for banana's, i've also phsically restrained my DD in public and had those nasty comments, judgemental looks that are unhelpful to anyone. The next time someone looks at me like that, like i'm a bad mother, with the 'i'd never shout at my child like that' smug look on their face, i'm going to challange them to live a day in my shoes with my DD and see how long it takes them to snap.

What i'm trying to say is my DD has Autism and every day is a challange, every single day and yes, sometimes i do lose my cool with her and no matter how she's pushed me to get to that point, i always feel absolutely horrible about it after. People should try judging others less without knowing what their life is like, without knowing why.

I get those judgemental looks everytime she has a tantrum, everytime i lose it because i just can't take another second and its not my childs fault, nor is it anything to do with my 'bad parenting'. Things like this really bother me, like anyone is a perfect mother? x

 

[kelzyboo]

Not trying to upset anyone, i get having never been in that situation why you'd be shocked, just trying to put a different perspective on it xx

 

[Saaaally]

I didnt say i was a perfect parent so i don't really know where that came from.
My godson is autistic and i definately understand the continual stares/comments about having a 'naughty child'. And i also get stares/comments and rudeness from people because i am a teenage mother, therefore a 'sh*t mother' in most peoples eyes...(no i
I did say on my previous post that maybe the child had been monkey all day aswell so i'm not blaming the mother as such.
However, It is unacceptable to grab the child's arm like that. That was my entire point. No matter how naughty my son is, i wouldn't lay a finger on him. That is just my opinion and i respect that you think differently about it from me.

 

[suzib76]

I didnt say i was a perfect parent so i don't really know where that came from.
My godson is autistic and i definately understand the continual stares/comments about having a 'naughty child'. And i also get stares/comments and rudeness from people because i am a teenage mother, therefore a 'sh*t mother' in most peoples eyes...(no i
I did say on my previous post that maybe the child had been monkey all day aswell so i'm not blaming the mother as such.
However, It is unacceptable to grab the child's arm like that. That was my entire point. No matter how naughty my son is, i wouldn't lay a finger on him. That is just my opinion and i respect that you think differently about it from me.

if that was in reference to my mentioning perfect parents it was when i was out and being judged in public i didnt mean anyone on here