Kind of shocked.....

[EllaAndLyla]

I wasn't judging anyone, and I'm sorry if it sounded like I was but I truly wasn't. I was just shocked, I've not seen anyone change from being so calm to being so angry. Also the child wasn't having a tantrum, I never mentioned tantrums. I never said she was a bad mum either. I'm not a supermummy, I'm not perfect. I get judged nearly everyday of my life because I'm a teenage mum, people don't look at me like I'm a mother they look at me like im scum, no one acknowledges the fact I have healthy and happy baby. I wouldn't judge anyone.

 

[kelzyboo]

I wasn't talking anyone on here either, just in general the 'i'm a better mother' looks you get. I don't think anyone can say what they would or wouldn't do until they're living with something like that every day, i said i'd never shout at my child and i have done. I hate myself for it, but i have done it. I've also grabbed her arms too, mostly its an attempt to restrain her and stop her from attacking me but to others it would been seen in the same way, i just think you can't say you wouldn't do something that for all you know in the future may be essential, for both of you.

I hope you don't ever have to and although i'm not a teen now, i was a teen mum and i know just how great teen mums can be, i'd never judge anyone for being young. x

 

[Saaaally]

I wasn't judging anyone, and I'm sorry if it sounded like I was but I truly wasn't. I was just shocked, I've not seen anyone change from being so calm to being so angry. Also the child wasn't having a tantrum, I never mentioned tantrums. I never said she was a bad mum either. I'm not a supermummy, I'm not perfect. I get judged nearly everyday of my life because I'm a teenage mum, people don't look at me like I'm a mother they look at me like im scum, no one acknowledges the fact I have healthy and happy baby. I wouldn't judge anyone.

I barely leave the house now because of the looks. That and all the other mums go out drinking most nights and i don't wanna be associated with that.
I wasn't judging anybody either but I would have definitely been shocked too. xxx

 

[EllaAndLyla]

I didn't say I'd never do it though, it just took me by suprise that's all. I didn't mean to offend anyone or make anyone feel judged either x

 

[kelzyboo]

Of course it would take you by suprise and although perhaps it looked like she snapped for 'nothing', i was just pointing out that although you can't see the rason, it doesn't mean there isn't one! In an ideal world, we'd never shout at our kids for anything, but thats not always how it is.

It wasn't you that said you wouldn't, but its been said. I just think no one can know what they'd do in a situation they haven't yet found themselves in. x

 

[Saaaally]

Yeah I know i said it, and i really wouldn't do it. I have enough reasons why i wouldn't and i can trust my own judgement of myself that i would never lay a finger on my son.
Please don;t blame it on EllaAndLyla when I was the one who said about laying a finger on children etc.

 

[vix1989]

ellaandlyla-
im a mum of a 4 year old and a 2 year old and i totally get where your coming from! i really do.
i used to be shocked and i still am sometimes especially when i see some parents (not just mothers!) swearing at their child effing this and effing that!

but god its so hard with a toddler even more so with two!
imagine every shop you go in every 3 mins mama can i have- mama i want- and i get it twice over its soooo hard to keep your cool!
but yer i get where your coming from

 

[kelzyboo]

Saaally i wasn't questioning your judgement of yourself, if it seemed that way then its not how it was meant. All i'm saying is that you can't know how you'd react to situations you've never been in, we can all say i'd never do this or that and at the time fully believe it but until you've been in 'that situation' you cannot actually know.

I'm not saying you don't know you'd never hit your child, thats a different thing, i was talking about perhaps grabbing your child? I was talking mostly in the context of my situation, that its not actually a choice its something that has to be done to stop them either attacking you or hurting themselves. I thought i was clear on that, i just meant without knowing what your situation will be, you can't really know what you would and wouldn't do xx

 

[Harveysmum369]

I agree with the other people who said you dont know how that child had been that day.

I had a struggle with harvey the other day,he threw himself on the floor when we went to leave for nursery and screamed all the way,and all the while i got disapproving looks because i was 'ignoring' my child.xx

 

[Harveysmum369]

I agree with the other people who said you dont know how that child had been that day.

I had a struggle with harvey the other day,he threw himself on the floor when we went to leave for nursery and screamed all the way,and all the while i got disapproving looks because i was 'ignoring' my child.xx

 

[Saaaally]

Saaally i wasn't questioning your judgement of yourself, if it seemed that way then its not how it was meant. All i'm saying is that you can't know how you'd react to situations you've never been in, we can all say i'd never do this or that and at the time fully believe it but until you've been in 'that situation' you cannot actually know.

I'm not saying you don't know you'd never hit your child, thats a different thing, i was talking about perhaps grabbing your child? I was talking mostly in the context of my situation, that its not actually a choice its something that has to be done to stop them either attacking you or hurting themselves. I thought i was clear on that, i just meant without knowing what your situation will be, you can't really know what you would and wouldn't do xx

I just get het up when i hear of children being hurt, I'm not anti-smacking or anything but with the news of that poor baby today I couldnt stop thinking about it. xxx

 

[kelzyboo]

I completely agree with you!!
And i trust myself enough to say that i would never knowingly, intentionally hurt my LO or any other child! So i get why you said that, i don't think there are many sick people out there who would purposefully hurt any child and i certainly agree that you can be sure of yourself when you say you never will!!

I guess i just got on my high horse a bit, i have marked my child more than once, not intentionally of course but when your being hit, kicked, punched and bitten theres no choice but to try to stop them and yeah i've marked her by holding her to stop her. It breaks my heart to have to do it and i guess when someone says 'i never would' it stings a bit because i wouldn't either, i just don't have a choice

I think we got wires crossed a bit, you meant smacking or intentionally hurting and i meant physically restraining for their own good, i get what you were saying now

Emotional subjects! xxx

 

[kelzyboo]

I heard about the baby but couldn't read it as it makes me so angry too x

 

[Saaaally]

I always get overly emotional about things like that! Its terrible, and those people will probably go ont o have many more children! In a way its a good thing its been picked up at a month old, rather than 4 or 5 years of it.

My son is just under 5 months old and he hits really hard when he's in a strop so i can fully imagine being repeatedly hurt by a 2/3/4 year old would get frustrating. There is definitely issue in restraining your child. More damage could happen if you didnt

I'm glad we've managed to work out we were on different pages hahaaa xxx

 

[kelzyboo]

Me too, i hate to fight!
Yeah that story is too shocking, i sometimes wonder if they're actually real Its too horrible that they are, i don't want to believe that anyone is capable of that. It makes me even more angry since i lost my little boy, the thought that anyone would intentionally hurt a child breaks my heart, i can't read those things anymore, there are too many amazing people who's children are taken away and then you hear things like that, life is wrong. That poor child, i just pray that baby survives and thank God he is too young to ever remember it xx

 

[JASMAK]

I dunno...I also have a daughter with autism, but the OP sounds like it was the MOTHER and not the child. Sounded innocent enough to me. I hate the stares and judgements from people when my daughter has a tantrum (she is 6 but looks 9 years old, so that makes it worse). Instead of offering a helping hand, I get stares, or rude comments (usually from snotty old people) about how I should smack her. I say, "she has autism, and has no intent for her behviours, unlike YOU who is being purposefully rude". But, honestly, sounds like this was something different. True....we don't know what that mom has been through that day...but I have three kids, I work full-time, I have anemia and I am EXHAUSTED all the time, and I have a child with autism who has her struggles and we struggle everyday...I am NOT perfect, nor claim to even be close to perfect...but this mother sounds like she crossed the line. It isn't OK to talk to a child like that...and even though we have ALL crossed the line, I think we can all agree that we ave ourselves a little pep talk afterward about how we could have done it different...and hopefully, this lady did too. There is shit parents out there...

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

I bet most of the mums who said they wouldn't shout at there babies there kids are still really young?

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Yeah, it's always mums with really little babies that look at you aghast when you're having a bit of a struggle with LO in a shop or something...!

 

[Harveysmum369]

Yeah, it's always mums with really little babies that look at you aghast when you're having a bit of a struggle with LO in a shop or something...!

They will learn there was once me and another mum from nursery were having to wrestle harvey(he is that strong) into the buggy and this woman with a tiny baby looked at us like we were tearing him limb from limb!xx

 

[Saaaally]

My son is 5 months old so....? Is there any need for bitchy comments?
I didnt say i wouldnt shout at him, i'd prefer it if i didnt put i know i probably will as most people do at some stage. I said I wouldnt harm him.