Kinda just need a friend

[Faylinameir]

I've reached the point where I just need a friend, or someone to talk to, that understands what I'm going through.

My husband and I have been trying for almost 12 years now to have children. Rather "seriously" for about 6 or so I would say. I've done temping, suppliments, and the like. I was "officially" diagnosed last month with pcos but of course we kinda knew this the whole time.

I was put on metformin and I'll save you the story but it nearly killed me because I didn't react well to it. I had a blood pressure of 69/45 and a blood sugar of 69 the day they rushed me to the ER. (which was -2/16 and just happened to be my husband's birthday so... yeah happy birthday to him )

Then to top it off my husband has been tested twice now. The first time half of the sperm was dead and the motility was 2+ (moving but not in a straight line). Now he got retested and his counts and all that were normal but the motility went down to 1+ (they move but they really don't go anywhere).

Honestly I (we) feel crushed at this point. My husband is now active duty Navy and we don't have the money to go for ivf or the like. Adoption is an option but (and I hate to say it) a last resort for us. The last time we considered adoption we were foster parents and they took the child from us (simply because the lawyer didn't like us) and that just crushed us.

Now I have an appointment for March 1st to go back to my doctor and we're probably going to do clomid. (my doctor is a jerk fyi) I'm terrified my stupid body is going to have another fit. Oh and the metformin threw me into a constant period for awhile, but it seems to have stopped. Unlike a lot of pcos women I still have periods, granted they are on average 35 days and not always best. I used to have constant periods, but the past two years I have been more "normal".

All my hormones are normal except my fsh to lh ratios which makes me even more confused. My doctor simply says "oh you're for sure pcos". I've seen my ultrasound so I can believe it. 42 and 35 follicles.

I dunno I guess at this point I really just need people to talk to. I've reached that point where I cry, feel like a failure, cry some more, and repeat. My husband and I just stood in the kitchen last night crying our eyes out after talking about it all. Everyone I know either has children (whether they wanted to or not) or have no desire for them. Well that an family members, but I'm sure we all understand how awkward that gets.

 

[lilesMom]

Hugs hon.
That is a difficult journey for u xxx.
I'm not in exact same situation
But am willing to support u if u like xxx
Hugs hon.
My heart goes out to u.
Hope u get ur bfp xxx
And ur much longed for child xx

 

[sailorgirl20]

I know how you feel as well. . Ttc is quite a journey. My husband had very low sperm count to the point where it seemed to be nothing happening.. I don't want to sound like the voice of the company but since he's taken the fertiliaid and the count boost and motility boost we have noticed a positive change. It's a trying journey that's for sure but this is what's wonderful about this site so much support

*hugs*

 

[Faylinameir]

I know how you feel as well. . Ttc is quite a journey. My husband had very low sperm count to the point where it seemed to be nothing happening.. I don't want to sound like the voice of the company but since he's taken the fertiliaid and the count boost and motility boost we have noticed a positive change. It's a trying journey that's for sure but this is what's wonderful about this site so much support

*hugs*

I hear ya. I'm going to have my husband start taking vitamins in an attempt to help things along. I read somewhere it takes about 90 days though to really change sperm so hmmm.

I read all these "miracle" type stories and I'm hoping I could get something in between.

Thanks guys for being so nice. I know I'm not alone, but sometimes It's nice to see that.

 

[sailorgirl20]

Well within a few days hubby felt changes both physically and emotionally. .. so I believe that they start working right away �� for once he has the belief in himself while ttc. But only way be shore is get him tested in 3 months if nothing happens till than... fingers crossed for our men

 

[Faylinameir]

oh yes for sure, much to his dismay he will be getting regularly tested. My gyno is a commander so the people at my husband's doctors office listen to him when he gives them instructions LOL

I'm feeling much better today. I'll admit I'm nervous for Tuesday (Dr appoint to get clomid day) but i'm not as sad. Part of me is really hoping I'm secretly pregnant and won't have to start clomid LOL wouldn't that be wild?

 

[arturia]

sailorgirl- Vitamins will make him feel better right away, but sperm take three months to mature.

 

[broodymrs]

I'm sorry you're going through this Hun. I hope the clomid works for you. I believe recent research shows it is actually 45 days for the sperm to mature although previously they did say 90. So hopefully good news for you!

 

[GoldenRatio]

Im sorry you are going thru all this but dont give p yet. Metformin makes so many ppl sick. I highly recommend that u give metformin a second chance because FSH:LH ratio needs to be corrected in order to concieve.
Metformin and clomid work great together but you cant use clomid to treat FSH:LH ratio problem.

Are you underweight or overweight? Metformin can affect different if you are underweight and also did u take it with food? did u break it down? did u eat lots of carb or how is ur diet?

If metformin is a absolute nono for you, then change ur diet; no refined sugar, carb and dairy. Try to avoid processed foods. You can check PCOS diet. Diet can improve FSH:LH ratio. Also raw honey, apple cider vinegar, cinnamon or inasitol.

 

[DannaD]

Hey! I just wanted to say that with a high FSH:LH ratio, and no other hormones off, Femara worked great for me, I hear Clomid is quite similar, but in case you react badly to it there's still another fertility pill you can try! Btw I was never put on metformin and got pregnant on my third fertility round.
Also, if you maybe consider an IUI, they "wash" the sperm beforehand which wakes up lazy sperm that won't go in a straight line, so the sperm they put into your uterus has a much better chance to do the job. As long as there's a good amount of sperm, and that most aren't dead, therés definitly room for improvement with the wash.

Good luck! Ask any question you have about PCOS, it can really not be as bad as the internet makes it sound

 

[Faylinameir]

I'm overweight and honestly if I tried metformin again it could kill me. Heck even if I wanted to, (which I don't) my husband wouldn't let me LOL
Yeah IUI is something we could maybe do if clomid doesn't work. My doctor said I can take clomid without the metformin and he's supposed to be really good at his job (minus his terrible bedside manors) I dunno... we'll see.

 

[GoldenRatio]

DannaD, Femara and clomid are almost the same, tricks ur body into thinking that you dont have enuf estrogen and makes u produce more estrogen which results in more or better quality eggs. However, i dont understand how this can be a solution when ur LH hormone and insulin levels are still high which means mc risk is still high?
Metformin works for ppl that can ovulate due to high estrogen in their body, but when metformin is not enuf to make u ovulate, docs give you clomid or femara.

I think, if you try to keep your insulin level naturally low (without metformin) and take clomid/femara, you will conceive without problem. Also get ur hubby start taking supplements.

Keeping ur insulin level low naturally is hard but you can do it, i can help you with the diet. Our future babies better appreciate the hard path we are going thru now.

 

[Faylinameir]

DannaD, Femara and clomid are almost the same, tricks ur body into thinking that you dont have enuf estrogen and makes u produce more estrogen which results in more or better quality eggs. However, i dont understand how this can be a solution when ur LH hormone and insulin levels are still high which means mc risk is still high?
Metformin works for ppl that can ovulate due to high estrogen in their body, but when metformin is not enuf to make u ovulate, docs give you clomid or femara.

I think, if you try to keep your insulin level naturally low (without metformin) and take clomid/femara, you will conceive without problem. Also get ur hubby start taking supplements.

Keeping ur insulin level low naturally is hard but you can do it, i can help you with the diet. Our future babies better appreciate the hard path we are going thru now.

I'm not diabetic nor do I have insulin resistance so for me insulin isn't an issue. (thank goodness!!) I did some research on google and sometimes just taking clomid is enough to make you ovulate and get pregnant so I'm crossing my fingers. 4 days til the doctor oh boy!

I'm still hoping that maybe I'm already pregnant as the period is no where to be found but honestly metformin messed up my period so much that I couldn't tell you what cycle day I'm on.

 

[broodymrs]

That would be amazing if you were already pregnant. Just have a good chat with the dr, they must deal with this a lot so hopefully know what they're doing!

 

[2ducks]

Hello and Welcome! You are definitely among friends here. Those of us with fertility issues are always hoping for the miracle baby. Every time I go into the doctor I am waiting for her to say "how could you not know you are 13 weeks pregnant, with identical twins,!?" I am being tested for PCOS, I have a follow up appointment with my OBGYN next week to discuss the lab results and start clomid.

First off you have the right and should switch doctors. If your doctor is a jerk and is not respecting you, you DO NOT have to take it. Your probably feel like you put a lot of time in with this doc and it is difficult to start over but you and your husband deserve to get the best treatment possible. Also, are you seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? If not, I would highly recommend it. Most women see an RE after one year of trying with no success, you have been actively trying for 6 so it makes sense to see a specialist.

Many women on this site have had a lot of success with the PCOS diet with losing weight and helping regulate their cycles and regulating hormones naturally. I just got back from my vacation last night and am starting the PCOS diet tomorrow.

I have also taken interest in myo-inositol which helps women with PCOS, I forget what it does at the moment, but that supplement may be of interest to you.

Many men have success with taking the Fertilaid line. My partner found it cheaper to break up the ingredients and purchase them separately from Sawnson's vitamins. He takes Maca, a multi, 1000mg vitamin c, COQ10, folic acid and zinc. It does take sperm 60-90 days to mature, just make sure he stays consistent. I actually put his vitamins in one of those old lady week long pill containers every Sunday so he has them ready to go for the week.

You may want to consider IUI as well. It is not nearly as expensive as IVF. It is a good choice when the man has sperm issues because it helps the swimmers get to their exact destination. If money is tight it may be worth picking up a second job to get some extra cash, which is probably what I will end up doing if I don't have success with Clomid.

I also don't know how long you have been poking around this site. There are MANY amazing women who are incredibly supportive but you will also find that occasionally you get a woman who joins for the sole purpose of announcing her BFP or posting her obviously positive pregnancy tests for opinions and then peaces out of BNB she gets her answers. I find it really irritating and a little disrespectful to the community but I just ignore those posts. Just be warned because if you are having a bad ttc day and see someone's BFP who has been trying for only 2 months then it can be a little heart wrenching.

Feel free to PM me any time. Also, feel free to join the "irregular gals" thread in the TTC1 forum.

 

[DannaD]

DannaD, Femara and clomid are almost the same, tricks ur body into thinking that you dont have enuf estrogen and makes u produce more estrogen which results in more or better quality eggs. However, i dont understand how this can be a solution when ur LH hormone and insulin levels are still high which means mc risk is still high?
Metformin works for ppl that can ovulate due to high estrogen in their body, but when metformin is not enuf to make u ovulate, docs give you clomid or femara.

I think, if you try to keep your insulin level naturally low (without metformin) and take clomid/femara, you will conceive without problem. Also get ur hubby start taking supplements.

Keeping ur insulin level low naturally is hard but you can do it, i can help you with the diet. Our future babies better appreciate the hard path we are going thru now.

Insulin level isn't always a problem with PCOS, I don't have an insulin problem and Femara worked for me. Having a high LH/FSH ratio shows that their might be issues with ovulation, like it's often the case with PCOS, but it alone doesn't raise the risk of MC. PCOS is a complicated problem with a lot of variables and I found out by being on this website and talking with other PCOS ladies that not 2 cases are the same

 

[Faylinameir]

DannaD, Femara and clomid are almost the same, tricks ur body into thinking that you dont have enuf estrogen and makes u produce more estrogen which results in more or better quality eggs. However, i dont understand how this can be a solution when ur LH hormone and insulin levels are still high which means mc risk is still high?
Metformin works for ppl that can ovulate due to high estrogen in their body, but when metformin is not enuf to make u ovulate, docs give you clomid or femara.

I think, if you try to keep your insulin level naturally low (without metformin) and take clomid/femara, you will conceive without problem. Also get ur hubby start taking supplements.

Keeping ur insulin level low naturally is hard but you can do it, i can help you with the diet. Our future babies better appreciate the hard path we are going thru now.

Insulin level isn't always a problem with PCOS, I don't have an insulin problem and Femara worked for me. Having a high LH/FSH ratio shows that their might be issues with ovulation, like it's often the case with PCOS, but it alone doesn't raise the risk of MC. PCOS is a complicated problem with a lot of variables and I found out by being on this website and talking with other PCOS ladies that not 2 cases are the same

Gosh that is so true "not 2 cases are the same" ! I personally don't have diabetes, no metabolic syndrome, and no insulin resistance (even though I'm overweight) My fsh/lh is 1.5X but my estrogen is normal, prolactin normal, but my testoerone is high. (I joke with my husband I'm more manly than him LOL!! )

Oh well, 48 hours til the clomid appointment. Gah! My nerves are so high right now.

 

[DannaD]

DannaD, Femara and clomid are almost the same, tricks ur body into thinking that you dont have enuf estrogen and makes u produce more estrogen which results in more or better quality eggs. However, i dont understand how this can be a solution when ur LH hormone and insulin levels are still high which means mc risk is still high?
Metformin works for ppl that can ovulate due to high estrogen in their body, but when metformin is not enuf to make u ovulate, docs give you clomid or femara.

I think, if you try to keep your insulin level naturally low (without metformin) and take clomid/femara, you will conceive without problem. Also get ur hubby start taking supplements.

Keeping ur insulin level low naturally is hard but you can do it, i can help you with the diet. Our future babies better appreciate the hard path we are going thru now.

Insulin level isn't always a problem with PCOS, I don't have an insulin problem and Femara worked for me. Having a high LH/FSH ratio shows that their might be issues with ovulation, like it's often the case with PCOS, but it alone doesn't raise the risk of MC. PCOS is a complicated problem with a lot of variables and I found out by being on this website and talking with other PCOS ladies that not 2 cases are the same

Gosh that is so true "not 2 cases are the same" ! I personally don't have diabetes, no metabolic syndrome, and no insulin resistance (even though I'm overweight) My fsh/lh is 1.5X but my estrogen is normal, prolactin normal, but my testoerone is high. (I joke with my husband I'm more manly than him LOL!! )

Oh well, 48 hours til the clomid appointment. Gah! My nerves are so high right now.

I don't have insulin resistance, no diabete, I am thin, last time we checked my LH/FSH ratio was 2x, AMH is very high, everything else is normal (well, other than the tons of kysts I have one my ovaries haha).

Good luck for after tomorrow! You're already on the right path now, it won't be long 'till you you find what works for you

 

[Faylinameir]

Went to the doctor today and he said my AMH (anti mullerian hormone) was kinda high and he said that's good and bad. Good because that means I should respond very well to treatment but bad because it means my ovaries could get very easily over stimulated. I was given Letrozole (femara) and whenever my period starts I then take it day 3-7 and start ovulation testing around day 12. If I don't get a positive ovulation test then the next cycle I have to be monitored very closely and get a follicle scan and what not to make sure it's actually happened. From there on he might have to adjust my dosage.
He also warned me that people with my hormone levels going on this drug are very high risk for twins and sometimes more... (<-- this was my face when he said that) and sometimes more complicated pregnancy; so I had to agree to that risk. Personally I only want one child, but if it was "only" two I could handle it.
He (surprisingly) didn't order a pregnancy test but the cheapie one I did yesterday with fmu was negative. If no period starts soon I'll ask for a test or probably have him start my period with medicine.

My doctor was MUCH nicer to me today (which is good) so I felt a little more comfortable. He also reviewed my husband's sperm analysis and he thinks it should be okay. With the counts and volume being good he said they did some math and motility is 42%, not perfect but they can work with it although IUI isn't off the table if after a few cycles things don't improve.

He put me on femara since it tends to be easier on your ovaries but if it doesn't work then we'll re-evaluate clomid in a few more cycles.

I also went to my GP to have my knee looked at and ended up being at the VA (I'm on tricare) for 4 hours. Got x-ray, more blood drawn, referrals to all these places, and new meds. Also being tested for rare auto immune disorders. (in the past 8 weeks they've taken 43 vials of blood from me... that's half a pint fyi )

Having people to talk to that's not my husband or doctor really helps keep the anxiety down so thanks guys!