I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I do understand - I had a mc at 8 weeks a few years ago, and two years later (I went back on birth control for quite a while as I couldn't face pregnancy again at first) we had two beautiful children. A few years down the line we decide we want another, and have been ttc for a year now with a number of early losses. It is heartbreaking and awful and you do feel like giving up on literally everything at times.
I think firstly you need to think about whether you do need fertility drugs, are your cycles regular? Do you have an unusually short luteal phase? Do you temp? Take prenatal multivitamins? Have you had your hormones checked to make sure everything is ok in that respect? Have you been checked for any infection like BV? As that can cause miscarriage and can go easily undetected but is easily treated. You can test yourself at home with an over the counter test if you would rather.
Do you suffer with any symptoms of hormonal imbalance?
Do you have any issues with fertile cervical mucus? If so, you can do things like drink more water (this is all I had to do), drink grapefruit juice, take evening primrose oil and there are also fertility lubricants available like Preseed and Concieve Plus. Be careful with any supplements and also fruit juices if you're taking any medications because they can interact, sometimes seriously so always check it out first. I usually use drugs.com for this as they have an interaction checker there.
Relaxation is so important when ttc! The stress hormone cortisol can completely knock out progesterone, and this is essential for a healthy you, and to sustain a pregnancy especially early on, before the placenta can take over. The more stressed out you are, the more impact this will have on your ability to sustain a pregnancy. Try anything you find relaxing; meditating, reading a book, watching something funny on TV, playing a game, colouring in, drawing, just anything that helps take your mind elsewhere. Try breathing techniques when things get overwhelming. Exercise is also important, but don't overdo it.
Eating a healthy balanced diet goes miles in helping you to get pregnant and stay pregnant. There are various books you could look at around this area, but generally avoid sugars, lower caffeine intake, drink a good 2 litres of liquid each day and stay away from tap water unless it's filtered. Make sure you're getting good lean protein and all your good fats, as well as plenty of vegetables and fruits and stick to brown rice and wholemeal pasta, try to avoid too much bread but always make sure it's wholemeal, preferably seeded as well.
Try to eat nuts and seeds too as these are fabulous. Things like almonds, pine nuts, Brazil nuts (don't overdo these as 1-2 contain your RDA of selenium, but you can increase this to 5 during your luteal phase to help support progesterone production), pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds... eat things like probiotic yoghurt as these contain good healthy bacteria for your gut which is essential for your hormone levels.
Generally most things can be helped through diet and a few lifestyle changes, but I would definitely get hormone levels checked out especially if your moods are getting as serious as suicidal ideation. I know how much a miscarriage can impact upon you, but if your hormones are out of balance this will only add to these problems and won't help in the baby making process
I do love FertilityFriend, and it is totally worth the paid subscription!
It's hard not to obsess over it, it's why I buy my pregnancy tests by the 50-pack, because I know I will agonize over it and end up in tears every failed month. But you have to do what you can to distract yourself and try not to stress it too much. Easier said than done, I know.
good luck!!
