Leaving a 6 week old with grandparents overnight....

[sevenofnine]

I do see both sides of this - it is worth mentioning (at least if I could talk to myself 3 years ago), that there is also no need to rush back either. I dunno, maybe I'm just old as I'm usually half asleep by 8pm. I really couldn't imagine properly going out and drinking so soon postpartum. There is certainly an adjustment period that is worth going through, I know it seems an eternity, but it doesn't have to be a rush either. Your baby will be in good hands no matter what you choose, but I think rushing back to the 'old life' can create more problems too in the long run. I guess I wish I had just slowed down. That's just me.

This is a good point. I think it's really important to figure out how to live your new, adjusted life with LO. It certainly took me longer than 6 weeks to figure everything out. It honestly probably wasn't until 3+ months that I personally started to feel normal again!

 

[XJessicaX]

*thinks*

Not sure how I feel, I possibly may ramble. I think the key to bringing up any child is stability and love and if to get that the parents need an evening/night away to feel themselves and to be invigorated for the week ahead then I don't see the issue. Its not something I would have wanted to do at 6 weeks PP but we all have different needs. I would say now is a nice time to have the odd evening away because I presume in a couple of months that wont be possible so frequently. Babies tend to get increasingly harder to settle etc and I would have thought handing a child who is in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression would be a bit much!

 

[kissesandhugs]

Gosh, I feel really bad for the OP right now. Anyways, I'll put my two cents in. I was like you when I had LO and wanted to have a night away every weekend. Except it wasn't every weekend it was every other weekend. Honestly, after a couple months of that I realized "wtf am I doing?" I don't want to say I regret it but I do. My LO loved staying at gma and gpas but it just didn't feel right to me. Now it's been about 2.5-3 months since I even went out and honestly that's a big adjustment compared to the every other weekend. And honestly I don't feel that NEED to go out anymore, at all! Sure I'd like a drink but LO is still nursing during the night and it's a pain in the ASS to get bottles ready. What I'm staying is, I think going out and hanging out with friends is PERFECTLY fine. Apparently some people "PERSONALLY" could never do that, well who the hell cares..that's them not you. BUT limit it, if you could. Not for your baby necessarily but for you..so you don't regret missing out on moments you can never get back. I wish I would've stayed home a lot more than I did :/

 

[kimberleyrobx]

I don see why everyone is getting their knickers in a twist. Every parent needs (wants) a day off now and again and it shouldn't matter if its once a month or once a week. Emily stayed my mum every Saturday from birth to about 6 months old. Of course I missed her like crazy, but it gave me a day to myself to get all the house work done and then left me a few hours to spend time with just OH and me and we'd either go to the cinema or stay in and watch tv or do our own thing. Every baby is very much wanted, and for me that night away from my baby let me have a full nights undisturbed sleep and left me feeling AMAZING the next day and ready for my baby back. Give OP a break, everyone needs 'me time!' xx

 

[kates84]

I haven't noticed anyone getting their knickers in a twist or being rude. The OP asked for thoughts, people have said whether they would do it or not and why and a few side conversations have taken place. I think it's all very civil in here so far.

 

[feedindy]

I would love some "me" time and if I were the OP I would do it. But in my case I would love a lunch date with just me and DH every weekend, as I am usually in bed by 10 pm!

Think about how much excitement it must be for the grandparents! I hope when my kids have their own babies, I get sleepovers with them.

I haven't yet had my kids have sleepovers with grandparents, just because I BF so it's inconvenient. But my mom asked today if my older child could stay over for a night. I can't see why not.

 

[onetwothreebp]

Damn, some of you are really vicious.

The quote "it takes a village to raise a child" exists for a reason.

 

[kissesandhugs]

I haven't notice anyone getting their knickers in a twist or being rude. The OP asked for thoughts, people have said whether they would do it or not and why and a few side conversations have taken place. I think it's all very civil in here so far.

I can't say that anybody has been straight forward rude but the "I personally could never leave my child at such a young age, I personally could never leave my child (in general), You chose to be a parent and need to take responsibilities" etc etc. They're not rude, and they're all opinions but if I read something like that due to a choice of mine it would hurt to think I'm a lesser parent bc I "personally" COULD have night to myself at a young age. Again, they're all opinions which is fine and dandy but I feel like people write things a bit harshly to get their point across sometimes!

 

[kates84]

I haven't notice anyone getting their knickers in a twist or being rude. The OP asked for thoughts, people have said whether they would do it or not and why and a few side conversations have taken place. I think it's all very civil in here so far.

I can't say that anybody has been straight forward rude but the "I personally could never leave my child at such a young age, I personally could never leave my child (in general), You chose to be a parent and need to take responsibilities" etc etc. They're not rude, and they're all opinions but if I r ead something like that due to a choice of mine it would hurt to think I'm a lesser parent bc I "personally" COULD have night to myself at a young age. Again, they're all opinions which is fine and dandy but I feel like people write things a bit harshly to get their point across sometimes!

Hmm when you put it like that.....I understand where you're coming from.

I think it's kind of deviated from the OP's specific position and in to personal feelings about whether people are comfortable leaving their babies in general and if so for what reason and how long for etc - which is probably not helpful to her.

I really don't think anyone is being deliberately nasty though on either side of the discussion

 

[staralfur]

I don't know. I have a friend who goes on about how she would never leave her baby overnight or in daycare before she's 2. It doesn't really bother me and I don't see why it would. Everyone is comfortable with different things. I wouldn't personally leave my baby at 6 weeks, but that's my own choice based on my own circumstances. I'm not saying it to make anyone else feel bad that they would, because they have their own circumstances and their own thoughts on how they want to raise their baby.

I think the only comment that's been borderline "mean" was sevonofnine's original comment and she's clearly made an effort throughout the thread to not be judgmental and it seems pretty clear that her intent behind the comment wasn't malicious. Everyone else has said "These are my thoughts on the subject, but everyone is different."

 

[topsy]

Hi

OP You need to do what works for you and your family hun.

I leave my LO twice a week with grandparents we drop him of and hour before bed and then he comes back between 9-10am the following morning unless hubby is on annual leave then we get him at 8 We have done this since dec so LO was older than OP LO (10 montsh old), and this was recommend by a social worker and my psychiatrist as I had severe PND/psychosis (was in a mother and baby unit at the time for 10 weeks at the time) My LO has a fantastic bond with my parents (they help care for me and him 2-3 days a week even now as I still have mental health problems) On the nights my parents have LO I take sleeping tablets and that means that the night he is with us I dont and get up to him if need be.

Before I went into hospital DH and I would spend 1 night a week at my parents and LO would stay in my parents room and they would look after him till 7-8am, we would put him to bed then watch an dvd and sleep in my old room. This worked well for us as I didnt want to leave him before then.


xxxx

 

[Shadowy Lady]

At 6 weeks I wouldn't even leave her for one night let alone one night per Week. And I was exhausted too so was my DH but she was too young. To each their own and i know babies who have stayed away overnight as young as your LO. No one I know does it every week though.

 

[smallpeanut]

I don't believe anyone here has been 'vicious' what a strong word to use :s

 

[doggylover]

I ebf and LO won't take a bottle so I get no time out (unless you count a shower while she naps ) and I can't even contemplate leaving her overnight any time soon (she's 15 weeks)

BUT

do what feels best for you and LO. Don't listen to all the people here basically saying you won't give up your old life to be a 'good' parent. Why should you have to give up who you are? Being a parent is just one side of you, go out, have fun, let your hair down!!

And this, btw, is coming from someone who has totally devoted every waking second of the last 15 weeks to her child, and I have no desire to ever leave her!!

 

[sevenofnine]

I haven't notice anyone getting their knickers in a twist or being rude. The OP asked for thoughts, people have said whether they would do it or not and why and a few side conversations have taken place. I think it's all very civil in here so far.

I can't say that anybody has been straight forward rude but the "I personally could never leave my child at such a young age, I personally could never leave my child (in general), You chose to be a parent and need to take responsibilities" etc etc. They're not rude, and they're all opinions but if I read something like that due to a choice of mine it would hurt to think I'm a lesser parent bc I "personally" COULD have night to myself at a young age. Again, they're all opinions which is fine and dandy but I feel like people write things a bit harshly to get their point across sometimes!

I thought that the whole point of using the word "personally" was to make the point that it's your own personal decision? So I don't think people were trying to be rude... they were just giving their opinions.

But, I digress.

In the end, as other posters have said, if everyone is happy with the situation, then the OP should have no problems.

 

[ispeakinsongs]

I wouldn't leave her overnight with anyone until she is a lot older. Just what I would do!

 

[kissesandhugs]

I haven't notice anyone getting their knickers in a twist or being rude. The OP asked for thoughts, people have said whether they would do it or not and why and a few side conversations have taken place. I think it's all very civil in here so far.

I can't say that anybody has been straight forward rude but the "I personally could never leave my child at such a young age, I personally could never leave my child (in general), You chose to be a parent and need to take responsibilities" etc etc. They're not rude, and they're all opinions but if I read something like that due to a choice of mine it would hurt to think I'm a lesser parent bc I "personally" COULD have night to myself at a young age. Again, they're all opinions which is fine and dandy but I feel like people write things a bit harshly to get their point across sometimes!

I thought that the whole point of using the word "personally" was to make the point that it's your own personal decision? So I don't think people were trying to be rude... they were just giving their opinions.

But, I digress.

In the end, as other posters have said, if everyone is happy with the situation, then the OP should have no problems.

Well yeah technically it is but I know I've said it before and it was my way of saying "wow, you would really do that? I NEVER could" Yeah I've been known to be catty myself sometimes so I know the "sly" way of saying things....not proudly

 

[Scottish mum]

Nobody and I mean nobody can judge!! Big deal leaving lo at 6 weeks!! I did so oh and I could have a date night. My mum and dad are fantastic and are very switched on with my son maybe if I didn't have that support I wouldn't! And I think that's where folks opinions differ!!

You do what you need to do I get fed up with all the bloody mother Teresa's on here lol!

 

[special_kala]

I say "personally" alot on here. Just because i think what im doing is right it doesnt mean im saying what others do is wrong.

I know im right and other people who make different decisions know they are

 

[kissesandhugs]

Don't get me wrong, I use "personally" as well but when saying it while dealing with a controversial topic...I see it in a different way. I'm not saying everyone who said "personally" was meaning it in a bad way, but not everyone was saying it under angelic tendencies either!