Leaving your premature baby

[Bec L]

Hi.

Hope everyone has had a nice Christmas.

Our LO is now 16 weeks old and so far we have not left her with anyone for any length of time (my parents have had her for like 30 minutes when we were visiting someone in hospital). Most of my other mum friends think it is a bit weird that we have not left her but I just don't feel that I am able to do so. Part of it is because I am breastfeeding and although she will take a bottle she doesn't usually settle unless she sucks on me too (she won't take a dummy)

But I also feel sort of traumatised after having to leave her in Special Care for 2 weeks when she was born and now I just want to be with her all the time. I am lucky that I have 12 months off work but the thought of going back literally makes me feel physically sick and I start crying. Has anyone else had this and found it really tough?

I am sure if she had not have been premature I would still feel like this about going back to work but I am not sure if I would have felt ok about leaving her to go out for an evening. I have tried to set myself a target of going out at the end of January for my husband's birthday, but I am already dreading it.
My husband is very supportive and understands but of course he has to leave her everyday to go to work and has also been out at night a few times. I trust my family completely so it is not an issue regarding her being looked after, it's just the thought of not being with her.

It'd be great to hear what the rest of you think. I have been reading posts on the other boards about people leaving their LOs with people overnight when they are 2 weeks old and the thought of that freaks me out!!!

xx

 

[turbo_mom]

I completely understand how you feel! Angelynn was in hospital 103 days and when we finally brought her home I did not leave her! She was where I was always sleeping in my arms. She slept with us too.
It's been over a year now since she was born and just started work this month. But I am still terrified to leave my girl for any longer than 5 hours so i'm just working 3 days a week 4 hours each shift. I finally got to the point where Angelynn is big enough to not need me 24/7 and I felt ready to get some of my independance back.
Back in March when Angel was not sleeping through the night and keeping us up my mom came over and stayed the night so we could get some sleep. (mind you it was easier tho because she was on oxygen 24/7) and I think my mum knew I wouldn't want to be away from her.
You've only had Poppy for 3 months so it's completely understandable about you not wanting to leave her yet! But when it gets closer to that one year mark you could always suprise yourself and feel ready to get back out there. But if not theres always part-time work no?
Try not to stress out about it though. That time is far away. Just enjoy her while she's still small and needing her mum

 

[Bec L]

Thanks Turbo Mum, am glad you understand. I keep reminding myself that it's ages away yet and that there is no point getting down about it yet, but sometimes it's hard, especially if she is crying and just wants a cuddle with her mum

Will definitely only be going back to work part time, so that's something. Just hoping we win the lottery in the meantime so I don't have to go back at all
xxx

 

[pennysbored]

I just had my little girl on Boxing day, and being discharged from the hospital really sucks. I am involved in her care as much as possible, but today OH and I were supposed to go to his parents place for a replacement Christmas, and I just couldn't not go to the NICU. I just couldn't. OH got a little upset, told me i needed to spend time doing things for myself, but I think I would be worse off not there. The whole thing just sucks, really.
So yeah, I get it. I'm glad to know I'm not alone and being neurotic.

 

[turbo_mom]

aww Penny its OK. Last year When angelynn was in hospital we planned our christmas day around her visit (that was actually the day she transferred hospitals so I HAD to see her. Very emotional day).
During her 103 day stay in the hospital I only missed 3-4 days of not seeing her. I even went to see her at the hospital when we were moving.
Men don't really understand our needs as mothers to be there for our baby at any moment. I would spend 3-4 hours sometimes more at the hospital with her and I do not feel guilty about that. I like to think that shes thriving today because of this
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with your baby 24/7. Thats what makes us moms

 

[Bec L]

I just had my little girl on Boxing day, and being discharged from the hospital really sucks. I am involved in her care as much as possible, but today OH and I were supposed to go to his parents place for a replacement Christmas, and I just couldn't not go to the NICU. I just couldn't. OH got a little upset, told me i needed to spend time doing things for myself, but I think I would be worse off not there. The whole thing just sucks, really.
So yeah, I get it. I'm glad to know I'm not alone and being neurotic.