Let's talk HooHaas!

[imaceful]

Ok I'm on baby number 4. Three previous vaginal deliveries with no interventions/cuts etc. Tore naturally all three times, each time seemingly worse than the last!

I'm literally s***ing myself thinking about a 4th natural birth with yet more tearing. I nearly wee every time I sneeze as it is, let alone after yet another baby comes shooting out of there!

Am I doomed to a ruined hoohaa for the rest of my days? I'm only 25, and my husband is a very VERY patient man but sex has been off the cards for a while and I don't ever see it coming back!

Anyone else dreading another birth and ruining their lady garden even further?!

 

[Nikko88]

After a third degree tear with my first, I'm hoping not to tear again. I still hadn't gotten back my pelvic floor muscles completely. There's recovery, physical therapy etc. However, my mother had 3 babies within 4 years in her twenty's and ended up needed some reconstructive surgery.

 

[imaceful]

I had mine at 19, 21, 24 and will just be 26 this time round.

My bits are already pretty mauled, extra skin in places where they weren't exactly bothered by astetics when stitching me up. I've had surgery down there twice before due to bartholin cycts, and just in general it's not a pretty sight is once was (or was it? Are they ever 'pretty'??)!

It makes me feel sick just thinking about it

 

[lilesMom]

Hugs hon.
Hopefully no tearing for u this time xxx
I had episiotomy with ds and I don't notice any difference
Maybe she did good stitches
Or maybe I don't pay enough attention to mine
And just don't notice the difference
I do get the occasional leak now I'm preg again though.
Pretty annoying
Must try remember more kegels

 

[maryanne1987]

I had a second degree tear with my first and a third degree tear that had to be repaired in theatre with my daughter. I remember about 6 months after she was born deciding to have a look with a mirror down there as I was convinced it couldn't be as bad as I thought it was. I was wrong. It looks like a lion mauled my lady garden. I'm really dreading how bad it's going to be after this baby but to be honest I don't think mine could get any worse lol. Tena lady pads are going to become my best friends I think! The flood gates already open every time I sneeze or cough.

 

[jellybeanxx]

I should not have read this! Haha! I had a second degree tear with DS but it took ages to heal and was pretty uncomfortable for a long time and I've got some lasting issues from it. I thought it might be better this time as everything had been stretched before. Apparently not!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I didnt have tearing with other 3 but it does change slightly each time..dreading 4...

 

[Lucasmum]

I tore naturally but they did a pretty good job of fixing it, I think I did take a look a few days after which wasnt one of my better ideas it was a rainbow of blues pink purples greens and yellows

TBH I'm not think much about it this time round all I know is I wont be getting the mirror out so soon

 

[Isme]

I had 4th degree tearing with my first. She was only 7lbs4oz, but the hospital really messed things up and the whole labor and delivery was a freaking trainwreck. The doctor forced an episiotomy on me after 4 hours of pushing, which then tore the rest of the way. He ended up spending hours repairing me down there.

I was very nervous about my next birth, but I wanted to go all natural because I felt like the interventions (and the position they put me in) were to blame for the trauma surrounding my first delivery. I felt that things went wrong due to the hospital-- not my body. I was in a new state this time and the doctor was in board with the plan at first... But then I went in around 18 weeks and out of the blue he said that he strongly recommended a c-section because I was guaranteed to tear worse this time. He said it would likely leave me permanently incontinent. I couldn't stop crying after that visit.

Thankfully we moved back home and I happened across a lovely free-standing birth center. The midwives there weren't concerned at all. They didn't see any reason I should be considered so high risk, and didn't think I would have any trouble delivering my second baby. They were correct.

I delivered my second daughter on my hands and knees (quite the opposite of flat on my back with my first). She came out 8lbs8oz and didn't cause a single tear or skid. I did have some heavy blood loss again (same as my first), but that was unrelated. Aside from that, my recovery was a dream. I was able to walk without pain very soon. I was having sex again 2 weeks after my daughter's birth. I couldn't believe how well things were doing down there... It made me want to go shove my new records back in the face of the OB who'd tried to bully me into a c-section.

At this point I'm convinced that birthing position makes all the difference. Well that, and a care provider who is willing to try methods other than slicing in order to help ease the baby's head out. I'm hoping for a similar experience at the same birth center this time around.

Wishing you so much luck with your delivery. Will you be using the same facility and birthing in the same position this time, or do they have a plan to switch something up to see if it makes a difference?

 

[beanzz]

I tore with my first on one side and they didn't stitch it so my bits are not only the usual kind of ugly but also very unsymmetrical I'm hoping to either tear on the opposite side and even it out or to have them stitch my bits together properly like it should have been before LOL

Ask them to make it look tidy if they have to stitch you back up again haha. The things our poor bits go through!!! Not looking forward to peeing with the shower head again to stop the stinging

 

[imaceful]

My first I was in a pool and then stood up over the bed, tore.

My second was also in a pool, then on a birthing couch (lol!), still tore.

My third was an induction and was on my back, tore yet again. Worst of all, and he had shoulder dystocia.

I don't think positioning makes too much difference in my case as my first two births were very easy, natural and I was up and about etc. But still tore like a b***h!

My hoohaa is clearly just battered and weak, so I'm resigning myself to yet more surgery down there.

I asked for a designer vagina last birth and the woman looked at me like I was asking for a boob job! I figured as she was down there, she could at least make it look pretty! She had plenty to work with! Apparently not...

 

[Isme]

That sucks big time.

I'm wondering if it has something to do with spacing in your case? I had 5 years between my first and second birth (and will have 8.5 between my second and third) and it could be that the extra time was helpful for recovery.

I hope things don't end up being as bad as you're expecting. Maybe things will go a little smoother since this is your 4th? Fingers crossed that is the case. Regardless, I hope you are able to eventually get your "lady garden" back to its former glory.

 

[Jessicahide]

My mum only had me and needed some hoohaa help she had a little op a few years back and no piddling anymore xxx Mine is alright though

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My mw told me to pant not push at the end to help reduce tearing.

 

[SleepyBaby]

i tore with my 1st ( 9lb baby) but i didnt with my second ( 8lber!) and she came out arm first! i was told at one point to " stop pushing we are putting her back in!!" so im pretty hopeful this one will be ok!

everything looks messy down there but im not bothered tbh lol ive never once looked at a penis and though, oh thats pretty! baby making is a messy business, everyone is unique and if oh decides its not pretty enough for his liking after his baby comes out of it, then he would be a bit of a hoohaa himself lol

 

[Radkat]

i tore with my 1st ( 9lb baby) but i didnt with my second ( 8lber!) and she came out arm first! i was told at one point to " stop pushing we are putting her back in!!" so im pretty hopeful this one will be ok!

everything looks messy down there but im not bothered tbh lol ive never once looked at a penis and though, oh thats pretty! baby making is a messy business, everyone is unique and if oh decides its not pretty enough for his liking after his baby comes out of it, then he would be a bit of a hoohaa himself lol

Yes! And not to be too much of a hippie, but let's have some love for the vaginas. And our whole body. It does a lot of good work for us to have these great kids. (getting off the soapbox...)

But tearing sucks. With both I had 2nd degree tears, but with my second it was in a different place and didn't bother me too much. Back to painless sex after 7-8 weeks. Took more like 7-8 months for sex to be totally painless after my first. Maybe a first baby thing too? With this one, I will be doing whatever I can to reduce tearing. Talking to my midwife about what I can do. Going to really try to push out slowly this time. My first I had an epidural, couldn't feel anything. With my second, it was natural and I kinda got to a point where I just wanted him out and probably pushed harder than I should have. We'll see what happens this time.

 

[Nikko88]

ive never once looked at a penis and though, oh thats pretty!

Yep. Genitals are genitals. Kind of weird looking.

 

[xsadiex]

I think position is important, hands and knees both times and I have luckily not torn. Water birth could help and perenial massage?

 

[xsadiex]

Oh and for recovery and pelvic floor issues definitely see a physiotherapist and start strengthen your core with pilates! It has really helped me after my 9 pounders. You shouldn't have to suffer with leaking x

 

[auntsas]

Oh and for recovery and pelvic floor issues definitely see a physiotherapist and start strengthen your core with pilates! It has really helped me after my 9 pounders. You shouldn't have to suffer with leaking x

Can you give me more info? I had terrible leaking after natural delivery of 9.5 pounder two years ago. I worked and worked with level exercises which helped slightly but never 100 percent. I am now 23 weeks and already having stress incont.