light hearted ttc

[AC1987]

I'm guessing everyone is busy with their family!

So much going on with me..

Lets see my mom told me that the doctor told her she'd better start making final arrangements for herself as her heart is really bad now
I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that she can't come visit me anymore..
I'll be going up in December, I'm planning a surprise birthday party for my older sis (shh keep it off fb!) and then will spend time with my mom then.
It just makes me sad! Growing up my grandparents barely had anything to do with me, and then my mom makes such an effort to be with my kids and now she might not even be able to watch them grow up

 

[AC1987]

I guess everyone has gone off...

Anyways, in December I went up to Canada to visit with family, surprised my sister it was so great!

A friend I know is pregnant... and its making me want to be again though I know that is not a good enough reason! But maybe in the fall of this year we'll try... guess we'll see.

 

[hello_kitty]

Hi Ashley,

I havent been following this thread this often. Looks like you are visiting your family more often which is awesome! Did you have a great new year? My sibs came and stayed the night with us and it was a blast.

About the baby thing, its driving me insane. Maybe you can relate? Maybe not? Idk lol but whenever I see a newborn or see someone pregnant I wish I could be pregnant, but as soon as I get home, or they are out of sight the feeling completely vanishes 180 degrees. I keep reminding myself how miserable I was after hitting 30 weeks. I dont know why I am doing this, when I am alone I hold off on any thoughts of pregnancies and finds reasons to validate not getting pregnant at this time. Dh and I agreed to try in May but even that date seems too soon to me now. Dh doesnt mind waiting at all, he said up to a few years since we already have 2 that we are enjoying. I dont feel our family is complete yet, but I also dont want to get pregnant any where in the near future (like a few years)...its so weird. I was super broody for zachary and jayden and now I just dont have the same urge...I'm afraid that if I keep up with this mentality, it may be a few years til I actually start trying.

 

[AC1987]

I feel like that exactly!! Its like I see a newborn baby or someone pregnant and I'm like ahhhh I wish it was me!! But then when I have time to think about it, I'm like I can't handle it! Yeah I for certain don't feel that our family is done yet, but I am content right now. Like they have eachother to play with so that is great, so its not like I feel like I am in a rush to have another.

 

[ricschick]

the urge for me has 99% gone, I feel we are complete now and am really enjoying just having the 1 baby to look after!

 

[AC1987]

Aww that's good so there is hope for me

 

[AC1987]

The hubby randomly mentioned we should try for a boy I said no because its bad timing first like if I were to get pregnant now the baby would be due in Sept and that would mess up our beach trip in august, selfish reasons I know. but then if the baby is another girl I don't know if he'll get all grumpy about it or what.
And I know the last time it was mentioned he acted like he was none and done, I know all he really wants is a boy though. I'm just confused.

 

[hello_kitty]

Ashley - Dh is also open to ttc again now, but I really want to enjoy my boys a little longer, they deserve it, not that people who have more than 2 kids dont enjoy all their kids equally but personally for me once you add on another, you get distracted from the older children.

Dh and I also hope for a girl, but nothing is gauranteed, we try to approach it open minded. We promised each other we wont be disappointed if its another boy. Actually another boy is not too bad. I am not too big on gender. I dont think I'm gonna even do gender selection methods next time.

 

[AC1987]

yeah I don't care about the gender either, but then I don't know how I'd feel if I had two boys, I'm just speculating but I know when we were trying for Cassidy I really didn't care, and then with Rose I didn't really care either.
But I know DH really wants a boy I just don't want to start being careless until I know for sure that he is on board with me being pregnant again.
And then I know I'll need a LOT of help but I'm not sure if he is willing to offer me all the help I'll need.

yes I get what you mean, I feel like I rushed Cassidy to grow up and didn't get to "enjoy" her as much. I do feel guilty especially when I see old videos of her and how little she really was yet I think I put more pressure on her to grow up because of Rose.

I really don't want to pick favourites but I do find myself able to get along more with Rose than Cassidy, I think she just knows how to push all my buttons

 

[hello_kitty]

Now that jayden is 18 months, I couldnt help but keep thinking when zachary was his age, I was in my last tri. Zachary was miserable at that time because I was on semi bed rest and he spent a lot if time playing alone.

Its funny how after 2 of the same gender, I cant imagine myself with the opposite gender...dont know how to describe it but its contradicting. I want a girl but dont know how I would deal with her. Dh hopes the next will be a girl since yhese two are mama's boy. If we do get a girl next, dh doesnt want anymore, he would feel our family is complete, although I sm not so sure. If we negotiated, the 4th kid would be years down the road when we are better off financially. As of right now, we are comfortable taking care of 3 kids financially, adding one more would cause a strain.

I also get along with Jayden better, although I try to blame it one the age gap, but thinking back zachary wasnt as easy going when he was Jaydens age.

 

[AC1987]

GAAHHH the hubby confuses me... so I mentioned to him that I am really not comfortable doing anything that'll result in a baby especially when I'm around ovulation because of the consequences so now he told me I should go on birth control

 

[hello_kitty]

That really is confusing...but my husband would probably say the same. Its called one foot in, one foot out. They're open to the idea but not 100% thrilled about it. If I wanted my dh to actually WANT and be excited all over again, I'd have to wait a few years.

 

[AC1987]

I've come to a conclusion that he doesn't know what he wants! Because he tells me yesterday, that we should have a baby, just not right now, which I'm fine with!

 

[hello_kitty]

I tested my husband to see what he really wants by bringing up bc. I asked him if I should get on bc and he said "no, why?"
I told him I didnt want any accidents if he wasnt really ready and he said he was. TTC baby no #3 is not the same as ttc the first time, excitement kinda dies down but it doesnt mean he doesnt want the baby.
So dh is on board, I just dont know WHEN I wanna try. Sometimes I want a baby so badly, other times Im on the couch watching them play and find it so peaceful. I guess we're on the ntnp wagon for now.

Another baby also means upgrading to a bigger car.

 

[AC1987]

We have room and everything for another baby, a bigger vehicle could even have room in the house. My only thing is will I be able to watch my older two kids at the same time as a newborn, last time two times my mom came to help, but with her health she is unable to travel right now. So it'll all be on me and that really scares me!! So while yes I'd love to have a newborn to take care of again the thought of everything else scares me

 

[hello_kitty]

Personally, I thought the newborn stage was the easiest...at least all they did was sleep, poop, and drink milk lol. After they learn to crawl is what really scares me.

We are officially ntnp, but with the lack of sex i dont even know when I'll pop out a baby. I usually never get pregnant when ntnp, just when we actively ttc.

 

[AC1987]

Yeah watching a newborn isn't bad I more mean my older two kids, especially after giving birth and the pains and gaahh that I don't want.

I'm so frustrated with my kids lately I feel like a terrible mom! But they just break EVERYTHING, pretty much all their toys they wreck. And then they barely play with anything either, I'm tempted to donate a pile of it

I'm also fed up with where we live! I want to move but I know we can't just yet, so I'm trying to fix this house so that I'll at least be happy here.

 

[hello_kitty]

Ashley, sorry about what you're going through. My kids are the same way, although they have yet to break anything.

I've never had any help from family members pp aside from my do staying home for 2 weeks. We dtd early this morning and I'm ovulating tomorrow so not sure if there's
another baby in tow for us. Waiting game is on now.

 

[AC1987]

Oh wow!! Guess you'll wait and see



Ok I'm gonna sound like a spoiled brat here, but yesterday was my bday and my hubby got me NOTHING!!! Like other years he has pretended to not and then surprise me at the end of the day, this time not a thing.
And its like I give SO many hints of what I like or want, like he knows all this...
Then before bed he thought he was getting sex no way!

 

[hello_kitty]

Oh wow, how mean! Did you at least give him a piece of your mind by the end of the day about not getting you anything?