light hearted ttc

[ricschick]

why don't you go to canada with the girls for a break away? x

 

[AC1987]

I would if I could, but I can't afford it, my next trip there is the last weekend of January, for a couple weeks. And then I won't be able to go again until summer next year.

 

[AC1987]

Things are so up and down with my Dh, I honestly don't know what to expect from him he goes from being happy where I think ok good we can get through this, to being SO miserable and mad at me that I'm so confused..
This is TMI but last night I woke up to my DH masturbating beside me! I was almost asleep and I think he thought I was, or he was trying to get my attention. But it weirded me out! Like he has NEVER done that in front of me.
I always figured he did when he was by himself but found it strange that he'd do it while he thought I was sleeping.

 

[ricschick]

yeah I think that would weird me out too!! I really feel for you that your having to go through this!

I think you need to talk to him!!

 

[AC1987]

I've been a little more open to my mom about things, she asked me if I think he is bi-polar. And I honestly don't know. I mean he has always been moody, but I don't really want to give him a label.

Latest he has told me he wants to quit his job and wants to move, but he wont say where. And I've asked him but he won't respond. I just don't think its a good idea just yet to.

 

[AC1987]

Gah! life is so stressful lately! My hubby is annoying me more than ever!! Its like he can't just let me BE!! He just whines at me that I love anything else more than him.
And then I was venting to my mom, and she first lectures me that I'm not treating him nicely *sigh* and then tells me that I need to treat him like a toddler and then my marriage will be better. But I don't want to be married to a toddler

 

[hello_kitty]

Gah! life is so stressful lately! My hubby is annoying me more than ever!! Its like he can't just let me BE!! He just whines at me that I love anything else more than him.
And then I was venting to my mom, and she first lectures me that I'm not treating him nicely *sigh* and then tells me that I need to treat him like a toddler and then my marriage will be better. But I don't want to be married to a toddler

Thats an interesting suggestion. I wouldnt want to be married to a toddler either. What does she mean by that? She wants you to pamper him and tend to him every minute or set boundaries and discipline? It could go either way when dealing with a toddler.

 

[ricschick]

your mum needs to look at her priorities and that is you! it seems to me she wants you to put on a front and muddle through but again life is too short! he needs to think about what you need!

 

[AC1987]

She just tells me that I need to praise his every effort, like if he sets the table to tell him he did a wonderful job at it or if he bakes something it flops I have to compliment it and eat it. Even though I can't eat anything he makes since its barely edible!

I'm just frustrated. I guess part of it is my own fault cause I hid all my problems from everyone for the last 5 years or 7 years for how long I've known him for.

I'm just really hoping this next year brings some clarity on what to do!

 

[ricschick]

you need to do whats best for you hun x

 

[AC1987]

It just seems so complicated. Things are so stressful as it is, its like we're civil with eachother but there is so much tension in the air. And I'm just nervous around him, like I don't know his personality from one minute to the next.

 

[AC1987]

I wish I could resolve the stupidness that's happening with my dh and me...I'm finding myself wanting another baby, and I know he is dying for sex, I just find myself NOT wanting sex like I'm so turned off at the moment. Now I'm just wondering if I just need a year to think about what I want, or will I still be as confused as before.

I hope you ladies are doing well!

 

[hello_kitty]

Ashley - I really think you should sort this out with your husband before wanting another baby. Do you still love him? The feelings are probably still there, if you want another baby with him, i cant imagine wanting a baby with someone you dont love. I want a baby too but wont be having another one unless our relationship is stable at least for half a year and im actually happy. Otherwise, i guess these 2 are enough. I dont want to be a single mom of 3 if we split.

 

[AC1987]

That's the horrible thing... I don't want another baby with him. and I feel so guilty for saying so.. I just don't love him anymore, and I don't know if I ever will.
The only good thing I have to report is that he has stopped whining at me.
I've thought some things through and I think the only thing I can do right now is stay.
First I have no support from my family if I even separated, like I have no where to go. And also since my hubby is American so are my kids and I honestly can't risk them being taken off of me I can't imagine life without them. He also is the one who makes money so if anything would happen the kids would automatically be his.
So that's it, I'm stuck at the moment.

 

[hello_kitty]

OMG I can totally relate Ashley! I want another baby, but not with him! I thought I was the crazy one, but someone else finally said it. I'm going to sound very horrible, but in one of my darkest fantasies, I really wish some guy would come along sweep me off my feet, and can accept my 2 kids as well lol. I dont need a guy to be another dad to my kids, but I dont want someone who would few them as baggage either...its unlikely to happen, so some days I seriously feel like being a single mom. I need to hurry up and gain my body back so I have more self esteem. When I see new babies, I get so upset because I truly cant wait to have another baby but I cant imagine having it WITH HIM. Its so frustrating.

Sometimes its hard being in the same room as him. Its so easy for us to fight. We havent had sex going on 6 months but I'm happy about it. I dont know...I guess I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Can you apply for citizenship? Half of your problems will be solved by getting one. The other half is earning money. There are some work at home jobs that you could look into. I work from home so I set my own hours, I work when the kids are sleeping. I'm able to contribute to family expenses each month and still have a couple hundred to spend or set aside.

 

[hello_kitty]

Sil just had a baby yesterday. She lives overseas. Dh wants me to go gift shopping for her kids including her toddler.

Im pissed off because he wouldnt do it himself and i really want a baby and hes making me go buy newborn clothes.

 

[AC1987]

I think I share the same fantasy!

Sometimes its so easy for me to picture a better life, with another guy who I actually LOVE and who loves me.
I just feel like the married life I live isn't at all what I wanted or pictured married life to be.

I mean I am thankful for my kids I know they were meant to be, I'd never wish them away, I just feel like what I am going through may just be a chapter in my life and just MAYBE life will get better.

 

[josephine3]

Hi ladies! Hope ur all well! Its that time of the month again where i convince myself i might be pregnant despite only having protected sex a few times lol. I can so relate to you ladies right now especially about never knowing what mood the oh will be in. Wanting another really badly too right now despite what would be terrible timing relationship wise. That aside, take a look at these pics for me? I see a line here but not sure about colour

 

[josephine3]

Damn doesnt look as good on the post

 

[AC1987]

Hey Jo!

I kinda see colour but I could be wrong... my eyes aren't that amazing hahaha



As for myself sometimes I want a baby so badly... but seeing as how I so do NOT want sex with my dh I don't see that happening.