light hearted ttc

[AC1987]

Heeyy Blondie! I remember you!! And congratulations!!!


Jo, yea just out of the blue it started with me asking for a cat and listing out all the reasons it would be a good idea to get one and then he says "I actually think we need to have a baby" and I'm like "no not ready for that yet" Because it wouldn't be right to get pregnant while we are having so many marriage issues.

 

[ricschick]

ahh congrats!!! so happy for you!!! mr and dh are considering having 1 more baby! im due to start my pill again tomorrow after my 7 day break so will see if he says to take it or not!!!! eek!

 

[ricschick]

Heeyy Blondie! I remember you!! And congratulations!!!


Jo, yea just out of the blue it started with me asking for a cat and listing out all the reasons it would be a good idea to get one and then he says "I actually think we need to have a baby" and I'm like "no not ready for that yet" Because it wouldn't be right to get pregnant while we are having so many marriage issues.

Have you maybe considered counciling or do you think your done with it? I agree with you bringing a baby in wouldn't be good for you.

jo I hope you get your bfp!!!

 

[AC1987]

Well we are talking it out... I know I'm not being 100% honest with him, but I really don't want to break his heart or to cause my family to be angry at me. I just figured I'd take this year to just think about life and things. So I'll keep the peace with him.

We started talking last night, it just is hard cause he is SO business sounding like he has zero emotions... I dunno I just figured if it was ME in his shoes I'd be a mess.
Anyways he brought up intimacy, he says he documents when we do stuff and then he said that he found he felt the feelings for me go in 2012, so I KNOW now I'm not crazy that YES he did lose interest in me these past 5 years!!! And then he said that he figured all the times I didn't want sex was because they were excuses, and I'm like NO if I say I have my period I have my period. He then thought that because I have pain during sex that it was an excuse... but I went as far as going for treatment for it.. so I don't know why he'd think I'd make that up

There is a part of me that just wants to run away from life... but I know that would be foolish, since I tried that once.

 

[ricschick]

you only get 1 life! and that life is so short to stay in a loveless marriage, so is he saying he no longer loves you?

 

[hello_kitty]

Congrats Blondie! How exciting! Wishing you a H&H 9 months!

Ashley - I agree with Claire, you've only got 1 life, why spend it being so unhappy unless there's still some love alive and you want to make it work. You need to live for yourself and not others, I cant wrap my head around the idea that you parents would choose to disown you if you sought happiness somewhere else. My mom loves my husband, but if I came forward and told her there's a problem in my marriage, she would give me 100% support. Thats what parents are for.

I know everyone's situation is different, but have you considered working and saving up some money? I have worked on and off since I got pregnant with Jayden, but wasnt really serious about earning extra income. This is my second month working an actual schedule again, and I love having the extra income to set aside should something bad happen in my marriage and I want to escape. I really did feel powerless when I wasnt working as much and had to rely on my husband for everything, should I move on would I say "hey, im leaving you, give me some money so I can settle down"?

 

[AC1987]

I don't really have a way to make money, because I have no one to watch my kids. And daycare is too expensive...

I know I only have one life, but I really don't know right now if I'm just being crazy that I wish I could get out of my marriage. Like I feel like there isn't really a legit reason to get out... I mean yes I am unhappy and I feel no attraction whatsoever to my hubby.. but I don't feel that would justify me leaving.

About him loving me... these past 5 years I actually haven't felt loved, especially after I got pregnant with Cassidy. And that is around the time when he lost feelings for me.
Last month when this first got brought up he was all telling me he didn't want me leaving, and he was so emotional..
Like I know he is TRYING to make me happy now. But I just can't help feel that its too late

 

[josephine3]

Iv literally been replying to this thread for days but it keeps disappearing!! Im gonna do it in short bursts this time just in case. First off, ricschick ur baby crazy hehe!! how are u even ready for another yet??! I can talk tho id love another one!

 

[josephine3]

ashley why would your family be upset with u i dont get it? I think that u have 2 very good reasons to leave if ur not attracted to him anymore and are unhappy. But again im one to talk even tho we have separated its so hard to make the final leap. I feel lucky that here in the uk we have the good ol benefits system, so i can survive on my own reasonably well without having my own income. Thats only till Jamie turns 5 tho so i need to make a plan fast if we are splitting permanently. This is why i feel so stuck in limbo with him cos time is ticking by to carve out a new life for myself if it turns out i cant rely on him as much as i thought...

 

[josephine3]

plus we even get 15 hrs free daycare which jamie starts next week im only using 6 of the hours tho. Im so scared to leave him hes only 2 and a bit..but he keeps telling me he wants to go and he gets upset every day we drop georgia off at school cos he wants to stay!
So even tho im on benefits i feel quite independent. Plus he had and still has a problem with gambling so i never felt financially secure anyway. Now im 30 i definiterly feel the clock ticking biologically and on sorting my shit out lol. Iv never really worried about having or not having money but now at 30 with 0 savings im starting to worry!

 

[ricschick]

Iv literally been replying to this thread for days but it keeps disappearing!! Im gonna do it in short bursts this time just in case. First off, ricschick ur baby crazy hehe!! how are u even ready for another yet??! I can talk tho id love another one!

lol I really did think we were done now im not so sure!? im still not 100% sure tho but I don't want to regret not having another as im nearly 33 now so this is now or never.

 

[josephine3]

ahh see like me lol this turning 30 business sucks!

 

[AC1987]

Hi Ladies!!

I turn 30 in Feb.. it must be turning 30 that causes us to go crazy

Again the hubby has told me he is ready for another baby. But I myself for once DON'T feel. Which feels weird because before I was DYING to be... now I finally feel content. I think it took me 3 years to finally feel myself after having Rose.

If I split with my hubby I'd be stuck, first my kids are American and I'm Canadian... and I don't get any benefits of any sort while being here.
I can't even bring my kids to Canada unless I had someone to sponsor them.

 

[ricschick]

AC that really sucks!! have you spent anytime just the two of you?

well we have spoken about no6 and think it would change things too much at the moment ie the car and caravan so have decided not too which im ok with I just love the whole pregnant thing so will miss that, but I did come off the pill as in after my 7 day break I didn't start taking them again so which meant I missed 5 pills(have started again) but we did dtd Sunday so according to Fertilty friend im in my fertile days and could ovulate on Wednesday! what are the chances now of a whoopsie?

 

[Blondiejay]

Hi ladies, sad news I'm afraid.
I started cramping yesterday and bleeding through to today, I went to hospital where they confirmed I had a mc. Absolutely devastated but trying to be positive x

 

[hello_kitty]

Hi ladies, sad news I'm afraid.
I started cramping yesterday and bleeding through to today, I went to hospital where they confirmed I had a mc. Absolutely devastated but trying to be positive x

Im so sorry Blondiejay. I had a mc once and know how devastating it is. Stay strong! Sending hugs your way!

 

[Blondiejay]

Thanks hello_kitty.

I just feel so incredibly sad, I know we only found out just over a week ago, but it's still so horrible. So gutted.

 

[AC1987]

Oh no! I'm so sorry! I had one before, its terrible. You get your hopes all high, just an awful feeling!

 

[ricschick]

im so sorry blondie!!!

 

[AC1987]

I feel so frustrated with life right now.

I honestly feel like all I ever do is countdown until I can be back in Canada. Being homesick sucks.