Living too close to the in laws.....

[Spudtastic]

Uggg my in laws come round about three to four times every day. They knock but they walk straight in. Today my mil peered through the door and saw me...then knocked...then walked in.

But I can't complain because it's their house. We did a house swap because we were renting a house on a crossroads with no fence and our daughter knew how to open the door.
I wanted to buy a house but dh wanted to build on the land that his parents own...right near their house...the one we are currently in. So as it turns out they wanted to build a new house and they offered for us to buy their current house. Dh really really wants it. How could I say no. It's the house of his family.
So we're in their house (haven't paid for it yet as we have to wait for their house to be finished so we can divide the land with less tax payments) and they are building next door.
I am in new Zealand and my own family are in UK. It's going to drive me crazy living next door to my inlaws with them walking in and out all the time. But I have no choice. If I say no to buying dhs parents house they will sell it to someone else and I couldn't do that to my husband.

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

Is there no way you could lock the door? And if they huff just use some excuse like, 'I was in the bath/having a nap and forgot to unlock it.' Take back your privacy, what's next having a cosy chat whilst ur sat on the loo!?

Its a tricky conversation to have with ur husband, maybe ask him whether this is normal behaviour for them?

Good luck x

 

[6lilpigs]

I think I would go a little crazy in your position too How long is it going to take before their house is finished??

 

[Lucy3]

That's tricky. 3 to 4 times a day is just too much!! Maybe set a nap time for all of you to take (especially needed when you have a newborn) and let them know that it will wake you if they knock and come in then. Make it at least 3 hours so you know at the very least you get that time to yourself. If they still come during that time (a bit like hospital visiting hours!) be firm about how important nap time is to you. Just a thought and a starting point

 

[Misscalais]

Oh dear! We live in a 2 bedder on my fils property they have the big house next to us. And honestly my step mil hasn't stepped a foot in our house all year, fil doesn't come over either but if they win a meat try or something he will big it over. Drop and run pretty much lol
We have been here almost 5 years and we've been over their house for dinner twice. They don't even come over here for the kids birthdays, we have to send them next door to see them.
I think you might need to set some boundaries some how. I know its hard because you don't want to unintentionally upset them but some in laws just get their knickers in a knot over nothing lol
Id definitely lock the door so they can't just barge in willy nilly.

 

[Topanga053]

About the house itself, I think you can absolutely say no. You need to be happy to. If you're ok with buying it, then that's fine, but if you're not, then I would have an honest conversation with DH. My MIL sold DH's childhood home several years ago and DH wanted to look at buying it and I said no. I would not have been happy there. I wanted a place to make our own memories. (I wouldn't personally ever want my own childhood home for the same reason.) I did agree to look into it a bit to be fair and we agreed that the timing was not right. DH was bummed, but he also understood all of my objections. We ended up building our own house that we BOTH love.

Re the visits: if you're going to stay there, I think you also have every right to expect your in laws NOT to just barge in. Even if it's their house, you are living there. Have you talked to DH? Ask him to talk to his parents and set some boundaries (visits will be set up in advance, they will NOT just walk in, etc). My parents live close by and DH got a little upset when they would walk over unannounced, so I gently talked to my mom about it and just said we thought both of us should call before going over. Every once in a blue moon it's an issue, but it's been better since I talked to them. I made it clear that we would call first too (although they don't care), so it made it less confrontational and more just about chatting about visits. They weren't upset at all and it made DH feel better. I think you should definitely have DH do the same. Or do it yourself, if you're comfortable. But I would definitely NOT put up with them just walking in a couple of times a day. That's crazy!!!!