London TTC buddies chat thread

[SophieBee]

Hi Leeze

Yes, I've seen the posters for the Fertility Show but I know there is no way I'll convince my OH to come with me - I can just imagine his face if I bring it up He's just not into that sort of thing and I know he'd really hate it, so I wouldn't want to force him. There will be fertility clinics and assisted conception units there though, so I'm weighing up the possibility of going on my own just to take some information should we need it.

I'm just about to hit the fertile window. Doing OPKs for the first time this month, which are showing nada at the mo, so I guess I'm not quite in the zone yet! Will also be giving softcups a try, so a couple of new things going on this month. This is our fourth proper cycle of trying so giving it a bit more welly - especially as I just turned 35 and I'm starting to worry that I missed the boat... I know 4 months is not a particularly long time, but it is very easy to convince yourself that there are problems, don't you find?

Hope everyone else is doing well - good luck on the 2 week wait Leeze, hope that it's a good one.

 

[Leeze]

Hi SophieBee

Funny, when I mentioned about the Fertility Show to my OH he didn't exactly look enthused! He wanted to know if we'd find any information there that we couldn't find in books. I said I didn't know unless we went! I've got a little bit of time to work on him though so I'm not giving up hope yet.

I tried softcups for the first time this month too (and pre-seed, and Maca tablets!) - not sure about the softcups, I did find them a little bit uncomfortable - but needs must! I'm 38 and we're on our 10th month of TTC so I know what you mean about worrying it might not happen. But after speaking with quite a few female friends about how long it took them to conceive, it ranged from 8 months to 3 years - but they all got there in the end! So, I'm not giving up yet! xx

 

[inkdchick]

well im still here but experiencing af type cramps, light brown cm, and feeling very cold, dizzy, and not very hopeful at all and am now definate convinced that af is on her way.
It should have been today cd24 or cd27 (tues 19th), so its not far off being bang on .
So come on af i want to start another cycle of soy iso stuff !!.
Good luck girls xxx

 

[SophieBee]

Oh inkdchick, I'm sorry to hear you think AF is on her way - I was really hoping that you had it nailed this month. Still, as you say, onwards and upwards - I'm sure it will happen soon

Thanks for the encouragement Leeze - it's always good to hear that there are positive stories of people who have been trying for a while. Part of my problem is that almost everyone I know who has children managed to fall pregnant after just the first or second month of trying. Fantastic for them of course, but I wish they wouldn't tell me how easy it was for them - not helpful!

I don't think my OH is taking it very seriously at the moment, which is a little frustrating. He is sceptical about taking the vitamins I bought for him to help the little swimmers and doesn't seem to want to make too many lifestyle changes yet to help us on our way. I think he thinks it will "just happen" without too much effort, and isn't really taking other factors into consideration. I am resigned to having a few more unsuccessful cycles before I can convince him to do more, but he definitely won't be ready by the time of the Fertility Show. Oh well, he'll get there - and I'd rather not push it in case he realises what an obsessed nutcase I've turned into in just 4 months

Good luck and lots of to us all!
X

 

[Leeze]

well im still here but experiencing af type cramps, light brown cm, and feeling very cold, dizzy, and not very hopeful at all and am now definate convinced that af is on her way.
It should have been today cd24 or cd27 (tues 19th), so its not far off being bang on .
So come on af i want to start another cycle of soy iso stuff !!.
Good luck girls xxx

keep us posted inkdchick - you never know, the light brown cm might be a little bit of implantation bleeding. It's not over till the witch gets you!

Fingers crossed for you xx

 

[Leeze]

Oh inkdchick, I'm sorry to hear you think AF is on her way - I was really hoping that you had it nailed this month. Still, as you say, onwards and upwards - I'm sure it will happen soon

Thanks for the encouragement Leeze - it's always good to hear that there are positive stories of people who have been trying for a while. Part of my problem is that almost everyone I know who has children managed to fall pregnant after just the first or second month of trying. Fantastic for them of course, but I wish they wouldn't tell me how easy it was for them - not helpful!

I don't think my OH is taking it very seriously at the moment, which is a little frustrating. He is sceptical about taking the vitamins I bought for him to help the little swimmers and doesn't seem to want to make too many lifestyle changes yet to help us on our way. I think he thinks it will "just happen" without too much effort, and isn't really taking other factors into consideration. I am resigned to having a few more unsuccessful cycles before I can convince him to do more, but he definitely won't be ready by the time of the Fertility Show. Oh well, he'll get there - and I'd rather not push it in case he realises what an obsessed nutcase I've turned into in just 4 months

Good luck and lots of to us all!
X

Hi SophieBee

You know, it took me about 4 months to convince my OH to put in place some lifestyle changes. In the end I got quite upset because I felt like I was making all the effort (not drinking, exercising regularly, taking vitamins, eating healthily - and doing all the reading!) - and I ended up getting angry and tearful with him (didn't really intend to but it just happened - I think AF had just arrived!) and I told him I felt really lonely with it all and that it felt like it was more important to me than to him. He's mostly been great since then, started taking vitamins, exercising more, cut down a lot on alcohol (not as much as I'd like but about 8-10 units per week rather than 20-25), and buying organic food a lot of the time. He even went for sperm analysis last month and we just got the results back that he's in the normal range for everything, which is a relief. I still get annoyed with him when he drinks too much as I've practically become tea-total (normally have about 4-5 drinks when AF arrives but other than that tend not to drink the rest of the month) - and it feels unfair because I used to like a drink or several myself!

I'm really hopeful we'll all get there in the end - must be hard for you that your friends sneezed and conceived - but remember most couples take at least 6 months or around a year if you're over 35.

xx

 

[SophieBee]

Thanks Leeze - yes, some perspective and a positive mental attitude, that is what I need! I think I was just having a bit of a wobble yesterday, but feeling a lot better today.

We had a good laugh last night - I tried softcups for the first time after DTD and it was an unmitigated disaster. We decided to "deposit" into the softcup as sometimes my OH has some problems finishing whilst DTD (which is partly why I was getting so frustrated by his unwillingness to make changes), and I must have inserted it incorrectly as it all just came pouring out as soon as I stood up! At least it was a practice run, so to speak, as I am still getting negative OPKs. Plus I'm fairly sure we got some in where it should have gone, before I ejected it all! Need to practice some more I think

The good thing was that we just fell about laughing, and it really helped to break a little tension and put some fun back into it - which is really important.

 

[Leeze]

ha ha!

Softcups, not for the faint-hearted! I tried them this month and found them to be really uncomfortable. I think I got the hang of it by the time we used the third one, but it did make the whole thing feel a bit clinical (especially since I'd put some pre-seed in before we DTD!)

Also, it might be worth still lying down (or lying with your legs raised for 20-30 mins after you've put the softcup in) to help the little swimmers!

Be nice to get back to enjoying just for fun and enjoyment! x

 

[SophieBee]

Yeah, the clinical feeling is hard to get away from with this whole process isn't it? I guess we always knew that it would be difficult for us to get away from it feeling like that, so it hasn't been the hardest thing for us to cope with. And with some luck it will lead to that !

I did stay lying down for a bit, and helped things along by making sure I "finished", if you know what I mean, so as I say, I don't think it was a total loss, but I'm glad we got a practice run in all the same! I've also read on some of these threads that the actual sperm gets itself through the cervix fairly quickly (with the right CM) and that what comes out is mostly the semen. I dunno about that, but I guess it might make sense.

Quite excited today as got my first positive OPK, which is the first time I've seen a positive anything on a stick. I know it's not a major deal, but it was super nice to see all the same. So, I guess we'd better get on with tonight!

 

[Leeze]

well I've heard it's good for a woman to be "finished off" after the little swimmers have been released as it helps them along their way (something to do with the internal contractions) - so I'm a firm advocate of that one myself!

I know what you mean about getting the positive on the OPK - I remember being so excited when I got my first one! Hopefully it's the sign of things being positive ahead too!!

Fingers crossed for a happy and positive month with some of those lovely s coming our way!! xx

 

[SophieBee]

OK, well the positive OPK went to waste I don't know if it was performance anxiety on his part or what, but it just didn't happen for us. So unless by some miracle a little spermy managed to get where it needed to in that practice run with the softcup (and survive for long enough), I am pretty much ruling myself out this month. On the plus side I will hopefully not be second guessing every little twinge during the two week wait

Poor OH was really upset about it - I'm trying my best not to heap on any additional pressure, but I know it's there anyway. I think I'm going to have to try to think of ways to not let him know that it's the important time, but he's fairly well tuned to my cycle so I don't know how well that will work. Hmmm, will have to give it some thought!

 

[Leeze]

Aw, SophieBee - sorry to hear about that. I get how you feel though, a few months ago when my OH was drinking a bit more there were quite a few times where there were performance issues (!) and we didn't manage to DTD exactly at the right time. Since he's been drinking less and getting more sleep it's been a lot better. Also, I found trying different positions has been quite helpful - not to get too fixed on the idea of missionary but find ones that are more enjoyable to us both. And trying hard to keep it fun and intimate and less clinical (this can be really difficult, I know!). Fingers crossed for you xx

 

[mechanica]

Hello, does anyone mind if i join in here? I'm in North London, trying to conceive my second!

 

[Leeze]

welcome mechanica!

have a lovely weekend ladies, I'm going out today with my OH to have some fun! We're going to try to not think too much about all this TTC lark and just enjoy ourselves. I'm even going to try to talk about something else!!

xx

 

[SophieBee]

Hello and welcome mechanica

Thanks Leeze - and enjoy your chilled out and fun weekend. I'm all on my lonesome as OH has gone to visit his mum this weekend, so we're having a bit of time away from the madness of TTC too.

Hope everyone has a lovely couple of days!

 

[Leeze]

Hi Ladies

I tested today and yesterday and got BFN. I know it might still be a bit early to test but I'm thinking this is probably not our month.

The good news is that I think I've persuaded my OH to come with me to the fertility show - hopefully we'll get some good tips there

xx

 

[SophieBee]

Sorry to hear about your BFN Leeze, although you never know - it still might happen this month. I'll keep everything crossed for you! And great news about convincing your OH to go to the Fertility Show. I still haven't actually broached the subject with mine, although I might casually mention it in the next couple of days to see what his reaction is...

Unsurprisingly I'm ruling myself out already. I started spotting as per usual today (although a day or two earlier than expected) and I've long stopped hoping that it might be IB. So it looks like the B6 I've been taking haven't worked their magic as yet, although I've read that it can take 3 months or so for things to take full effect so I'll stick with it for now. If nothing has changed in the new year I'll go to the docs again and try to insist on getting a progesterone check, as I've heard that spotting can be a sign of low levels and that this can cause problems conceiving.

Anyway, onwards and upwards. Just another week until AF is due and we can start over again in a new month!

 

[Timid]

Hi ladies - can I join in? I live on the outskirts just in Surrey (esher) but practically consider myself a Londoner

Have been ntnp/ttc for a year, but am about to have a little break due to new job and our wedding next summer.

Have booked a drs appt to see about my long irregular cycles which basically mean I have no idea when or IF I ovulate at all... Hoping it's nothing to worry about!

All going well I'll be ttc around Xmas... !

 

[Timid]

Double post oops

 

[SophieBee]

Hi Timid, and welcome
I think this is more a "London and surrounds" thread, than strictly London so please do join us! I hope everything goes well at the docs and we'll look forward to hearing more from you when you start TTC later this year.

So, I casually raised the topic of the Fertility Show last night and my OH was all "that sounds dreadful, but I suppose there would be lots of information there so it could be useful". I left it a little while and said that I'd probably book a ticket for myself and asked if he wanted to come too and he said that he definitely should come, even though it isn't his thing. So we'll both be going!

I was clearly not giving him nearly enough credit - sometimes I forget that he wants this just as much as I do. It's very easy to make this all about you, isn't it