Looking for people to talk to...

[Mamaladybug81]

Hi everyone. Ok, here's my deal...I have a 10 year old daughter from a previous marriage and now I have a 2 year old boy and 1 year old boy with my current husband. We had decided we would only have 2 children together, but since neither one was a girl, we've decided to try one more time. Of course I would be happy and feel blessed if it was another boy, but in all honesty I would be very sad if it were another boy. I feel like my daughter will be grown and gone by the the time our two boys are old enough to go out and do the fun stuff with my husband and I'll just be stuck here by myself. Selfish of me, I guess. But that's the main reason we're going to try here in the next several months for another one. Plus, we want a girl that's from both of us. Part of me really wants to...but I feel like if I could look in a crystal ball or something and know for sure it would be a girl, I'd definitely do it. The other part of me is just so fearful that it won't be and I'll be torn up inside. I don't really know what to do, I guess. So, I've been looking all over the internet, making lists of things to do to help sway for a girl. Then I saw that sperm survive in a certain pH range that seems to be the opposite of lower ph range I need for a girl! I don't want to cause damage to the sperm and have a m/c (been there, done that) or have it cause some kind of birth defect or something. So now I feel like it wouldn't even be a good idea to do the extra acidic things to sway for a girl and that frustrates me even more. I'm not really even sure of the kind of advice I want or need. Maybe I just need to vent or have someone to talk to and give me their input. So, blessings to all of you...I hope you all get what you're wanting. LOTS OF BFP to everyone!

 

[bunda]

I know, after having boys you must really yearn for a girl, but you do make it sounds little bit like "if it's another boy I'll have wasted my time". I don't think that's a very useful way of looking at it, since you don't know what a girl or a boy would actually turn out like.
I don't know, perhaps I'm biased. My parents wanted a boy (they already had a girl) and so my mother went to the Dr to find out how she could increase her chances of having a boy. Too late, the doc said, you're already pregnant. ( months later it was a girl (me) so I was a disappointment.
But, I ended up being the biggest tomboy ever. I refused to wear skirts or dresses, I had my hair short, my cousin thought I was a boy and the parents of my friends all thought I was a boy, too (I had an unusual, foreign first name).
It's kinda hard to know you were the unwanted gift, even if gratefully received, perhaps my tomboyishness was a reaction to that - a way to seek approval. I can't say.

Your next child might be all you want them to be: close to you and the child that comes to you for advice, for help, for affection and that can be a boy just as easily as a girl. Perhaps you're building up a daughter to be more a boon than she might turn out to be (What if she's a total daddy's girl and goes off to have fun and STILL leaving you all alone? or what if the next son turns out to be one of those men who worships his mom? YOu seem to assume that boys will want to be only with dad and girls only with mom, that's not always the case).

I guess what my rather long bit of blathering is trying to say is, it sounds to me like you want a child who will be close to you, and you're assuming it has to be a girl to achieve that. That isn't necessarily the case.

But of course, knowing is one thing, feeling quite another and you can't just 'think' your real feelings away. Have you spoken to your OH about this? Could it be you feel locked out of the current family dynamic (all the boys off having fun without you) already and it's THIS that needs addressing? I don't know your situation, so I may be reading too much into this, but it sounds like you want a daughter because you fear being abandoned. I really hope you get what you want. Really, really do. Be it daughter, be it a son who's close to his mother or be it twins, haha.
I hope others have some advice, I'm sure you're not the only one who wants a girl after a set of boys.

 

[cowboys angel]

Just wanted to offer

I think the PP has what seems to be a good 'look in from the outside' on your situation thought, and am waiting to see your response on it.