looking for some advice :)

[lucy_smith]

me and and my bf have been together for 9 years, we a beautiful 10 month daughter.
i personally dont have gender disapointment. but my partner did and possibly still does.

we went to our scan and my bf was convinced our baby was a boy, he had always wanted a son, couldnt imagine his life any other way. but when we found out we were having a daughter he went silent, didnt speak all the way home, and actually took a while to get his head around it. i cried all the way home , i had no idea it would affect him this badly. i was worried about bringing a little girl into our lives that he never wanted.

we are currently ttc no 2.
but every now and again he decides that he is too scared to try for a second, he wants a son, and i really dont know how he would cope if we had another girl. it breaks my heart to think another child as amazing as our daughter just wouldnt full fill him. he only wants two children.

im also worried about having a boy and my bf not treating both our children equally. is this something i should be worried about?

my bf is the most caring person and i love him so much, but i just dont understand these feelings .

so i thought i would come and comment here, just to see if you can offer me any advice as a girl who loves her family, wants to extend it, but is worried about my bf.

 

[maryanne1987]

Have you tried talking to him? I can only give my own opinion on the situation and personally I'd have the same worries as you. What does he have to say on it? If he desperately wants a boy that badly it might be better holding off ttc until he's delt with his feelings as that kind of stress and pressure wouldn't be good for you whilst pregnant. Is there a reason he wants a boy so badly? Maybe if he's still dealing with gd now that needs to be addressed first before adding another. Maybe encourage him to spend more time with your dd and strengthen their relationship even more. A dad/daughter relationship is such a beautiful thing, maybe he just needs a little more bonding time. I really hope you manage to sort it out. Good luck hun!

 

[Sweety21]

I am sorry you are going through this. But, it will definitely change after dd is little older and she is constantly giving her love and care to him.

As pp mentioned it would be better to hold off until his feelings are settled. It won't be good for you and child if you have another daughter.