Ok....I am not trying to be the downer of BnB history. I am not trying to be a MindyK. I am just so losing it. Please note that I am on my second bottle of wine.....But I feel that this post is needed for my sanity. As I have posted in the Girly area, I have been going through some major personal issues. At this point I feel that I am about to break. I just dont know how much more I can take. In September I lost someone to Overian Cancer. That was a 2 year battle. Just recently I learned that My Best Friend has Termanal Colan Cancer. My Mother-in-Law was arrested of a Feloney.....(Bogus Charge that we will Fight) I posted the bail and am resposable for her going to court. Now my husband and I are trying to make a family. I just found out that I have a virus that is linked to cervical cancer. I go in for a Coloscopy on December 14th. Here is the POINT BREAK FOR MY SANITY. I AM SO FUCKING LOOSING IT. (Sorry for the F word) My husband and I went to his doctors apointment today...... They found a Heart murmur. They have refured us to a heart doctor. We need to run tests. They think my husband may have a hole in his heart. WHAT THE FUCK.. THIS IS MY FUCKEN HUSBAND WE ARE TALKNING ABOUT....WHY. WHY WHY HE IS MY FUCKING ROCK. I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH I CANT TAKE THIS WHY HIM WHY NOT ME THIS IS SO NOT RIGHT THIS IS MY HEART WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MY LOVE MY LIFE WHAT THE FUCK I NEED HELP HERE I DONT THINK I CAN DEAL WITH THIS I MAY BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH CERVICAL CANCER BUT NOT MY HUSBAND BEING SICK TOO THIS IS SO NOT RIGHT. IM SO SORRY FOR THIS POST. WE ARE VERY QUIET PEOPLE AND THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE FOR ME TO SPEAK. We had lab work done today. And we go see the heart doctor on the 15th. THE FUCKEN DAY AFTER WE SEE IF I HAVE CERVICAL CANCER. and to top it off the same FUCKEN week we go to court for his FUCKEN MOTHER. AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!