Losing my mind!

[Dill]

I know you all understand... the TWW is brutal. I am jumping right back on the horse after a loss earlier this month, caught my O perfectly, and I'm 9dpo and going crazy!!! It's bad enough that hubby actually teased me about it this morning. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I promised myself that I wouldn't test until 14dpo... then found out that we're invited to party at 12dpo so I wanted to know if I might be able to have a drink and told myself that I'd go ahead and test because I'd probably get a pretty accurate result then.

Well, I thought I figured out when I implanted (terrible cramps, and I just plain don't cramp mid-cycle) ... started having symptoms... and that's common for me, I've had symptoms very early on in my previous pregnancies (even the one I didn't know about until it was too late). I couldn't take it anymore and thought I might test positive, so I caved, and ... nothing. Three hpt's of nothing. And while I know I'm only 9dpo, and I have several days' worth of testing left this cycle before I can count myself out, I am irrationally stressed by my lack of positive result. Last time, I didn't get even a faint positive until 13dpo, so I know I'm being totally ridiculous!

I really feel like I'm pregnant at this point, minus the crushing headache, and I guess I'm terrified that I am just psyching myself up and there won't be anything this month.

Sorry, I really needed to get that out of my system. I don't know what to do. I feel ridiculous. It shouldn't be so hard to cope with!

 

[snshine23]

The TWW is brutal. No matter how many times I tell myself I won't get my hopes up too high and I try to keep my mind on other things, baby is on my brain. And it doesn't help when your body does things it doesn't normally do! I feel your pain and like you said, 9dpo is still early so hang in there! I'm just entering another TWW and I'm not sure I'm really ready for it!

 

[Beeptime]

So sorry, Dill! I used to feel that way. Just sooooo up and down. And SAD SAD SAD when I'd get bfns. I'm in a mentally ok spot these days, but it's from utterly giving up. Once I get back into it more, I'm sure I'll be getting all of those feelings again.
I'd love to hear another rundown of your current symptoms? I'll obsess with you! Since I don't have any symptoms, I'll live vicariously through you.

 

[Dill]

Oh my goodness, symptoms. Nausea, sensitive sense of smell, extremely vivid dreams... increase in cm... boobs have swollen hugely and are sore, along with sore nips, shooting pains, and leaking colostrum. Have had a few odd food cravings, including the food I craved last time! Also sore hips, a runny nose prone to bleeding... but those could be the weather.

 

[Peanut112]

Oh my goodness, symptoms. Nausea, sensitive sense of smell, extremely vivid dreams... increase in cm... boobs have swollen hugely and are sore, along with sore nips, shooting pains, and leaking colostrum. Have had a few odd food cravings, including the food I craved last time! Also sore hips, a runny nose prone to bleeding... but those could be the weather.

Sounds like me! Besides the colostrum, but I haven't been paying attention to that. Oh, and im more tired than usual.

 

[Beeptime]

Wow! Sounds like the real deal for sure!!! What is your CM like? And do you boobs look any diff?

 

[Dill]

Sounds like me! Besides the colostrum, but I haven't been paying attention to that. Oh, and im more tired than usual.

My last two times, I was SO EXHAUSTED I'd actually fall asleep at my desk at work in the middle of tasks. This time, I've actually got an abundance of energy, which is equally unlike me, but also unlike my past pregnancies. It's the energy level and lack of headache that really make me question if I'm just PMSing hard instead of PG!

CM is just primarily kind of dry and glue-like (like elmers glue), sometimes with these terrible gushes. I don't think the ladies look any different, just big and swollen and leaky, haha. I have a couple of montgomery's tubercles.

 

[Beeptime]

Um..... have you ever leaked colostrum while PMSing?! Just sayin...

 

[Dill]

LOL not since I was a teenager!

 

[Beeptime]

Is it milky-looking, yellowish, or clear? Your boobie leakage, that is.

 

[Peanut112]

Dill, when do you plan on testing? Maybe we can be test buddies. ^_^

 

[Dill]

It's clear

 

[Beeptime]

I had ONE cycle in my life, I swore up and down, I was SURE I was pg. I had a little bit of clear discharge from my right nip. I was so sure I was PG, but ended up starting af. I was upside down confused. I have no idea why else I'd have that discharge. I still think maybe I had a very early mc? Anyway, I hope this is not the case. Your symptoms sound so promising.

 

[Dill]

Dill, when do you plan on testing? Maybe we can be test buddies. ^_^

I was bad and tested today. ...twice. I'm debating if I can wait until Friday, or if I'll just try again tomorrow. 10dpo seems reasonable, but if I've got nothing today, I can't imagine much changing overnight!

 

[Peanut112]

Dill, when do you plan on testing? Maybe we can be test buddies. ^_^

I was bad and tested today. ...twice. I'm debating if I can wait until Friday, or if I'll just try again tomorrow. 10dpo seems reasonable, but if I've got nothing today, I can't imagine much changing overnight!

Alright! I was going to try on Friday for sure anyways. Let me know your results!!

 

[Dill]

Likewise!!! My fingers are super crossed for you! GL!

 

[Dill]

today. I know I have a 29% chance of a false negative at 10dpo, so I'm trying not to be discouraged. It's still fairly early yet! I had more vivid dreams last night and woke up with a slight headache. I'm having some very faint cramps. It feels a bit like AF is on her way, though that's not due until Sunday.

 

[Beeptime]

Oh man! I'm sorry. I was so hoping for an early BFP for you. Torture torture torture. Keep the hope alive! Fingers crossed it's just too early. Still full of symptoms?

 

[Dill]

Still full of symptoms! And I'd say I am actually feeling pretty tired today, despite a decent night's sleep.

 

[Dill]

And another this morning at 11dpo. Definitely feeling discouraged. It doesn't help that I'm definitely coming down with a cold, on top of it. I have a few days of possible positives left, but I suspect that I'm out this month, despite what my symptoms are saying. I'm not really feeling pregnant this morning, just miserable and sick, with painful boobs that are overflowing my bra.