lost my lady at 20weeks x

[sara8100]

Hi all. I lost my little girl on saturday. I have three boys who I had no problems with. Since them ive had two ectopics and then got pregnant with my little lady easy. Had a slight bleed at 14 weeks was told my cervix had a lesion but was offered no scan etc the bleeding stopped the same day but on n off I had little bleeds went for a sexing scan at 16 weeks 4 days and all was good. Had a slight bleed on thursday morning so rang midwife who said was prob cervix again but to go to check hb etc she couldn't find hb n said I was smallish. Sent me for a scan and found she had died roughly two weeks before. Gave birth to her on saturday and spent an hour with her. I feel so lost and empty and just want to still be pregnant. We was half way there with my first little girl. She has been sent for post mortem im killing myself wanting answers I so desperately want to be pregnant again. I need to hold a baby of my own. Im scared it will be something to do with me and we wont be able to have anymore. I miss her so much being inside me. Has anyone else been through this and gone on to have a normal safe pregnancy after x

 

[gnomette]

I am sorry for the loss of your little lady x my son passed away almost a year ago not pregnant yet but I have only got one tube so these things can take a bit longer as I know I don't always ov off my tube side an my tube side wont always pull an egg over so anyway I have every hope that it will happen for me an for you just give your self time to heal x an be as gentle to your self as you can an have hope x is all the advice I can give x

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss.
I also lost my Ava at 22 weeks, I already had 3 boys too. My boys were 21, 19 and 12 when I got pregnant by accident at the age of 40. I went in for a sonogram and there was no heartbeat. I gave birth to her in my home on 3-3-2011 and we buried her on 3-11-2011. I was completely devastated. It was my little girl , finally and now she was gone. It has taken me almost 2 years to get a little better and reach some kind of new normal.

You need to be gentle on yourself and give yourself the time you need to grieve. It is a long and hard journey, but time does help a little.
I am always around if you ever need a friend..XO Andrea

 

[sara8100]

Thank you for your replies. Imbao desperate to get pregnant again but think I should wait for post mortem results. Im scared its something wrong with me. Did any of you get pregnant quickly after and be ok z

 

[Lottelotte]

I am so so sorry for the loss of your little lady.

I have lost two babies, my first loss was absolutely horrific and I can barely bear talking about it. My second loss was in Oct, a little boy called Rory. We found out on his post morten he had triploidy and typically result in earlier losses. My little one held on and everytime I close my eyes I see his little hands and feet and miss him so dearly.

I fell pregnant again fairly quickly (quicker than expected) and touch wood everything is going fine. I had an anomoly scan a couple of weeks ago and at the moment she looks perfect. But I know that I can't take anything for granted and that it can all fall apart in a moment (which it has done twice).

I hope that the coming weeks are gentle on you. I hoep you get answers. I have been 'lucky' (if you can call it that) and have had answers for both losses and they were both just chance events. I was told by the fetal medicine specilalist that my chance of having another loss was the same for any other woman and I was at no increased risk. Having answers has to a certain extent helped although it still doesn't make it any easier.

With regards to fallling pregnant again, I was never told to wait for the PM results. I found out I was pregannt again on the 31st Dec and I rang my consultant straight away (as we were waiting till the 11th Jan for PM results). I asked him if there was anything I needed to do such as taking aspirin or getting heparin etc, and he said no. I can't say don't wait for the results because that is your choice, but I know that in many cases, the results either come back as inconclusive or there is a cause which was just 'bad luck'.

Lots of love
xx

 

[KerryH1986]

Sorry for your loss, i know how u feel snd its cruel. I too lost my little lady at 20+5, today has been 4 weeks since I lost baby Lily and we had her funeral Thursday just gone, it was absolutely horrific, ill be honest, Lily also had a PM but no results as of yet and no one has advised we wait for results, just advised to have one normal period first. The coming weeks will be he'll, I won't lie, but slowly, you'll start to live life with your baby as your beautiful memory and learn to cope, by no means will u forget.
Like you I am desperate to be pregnant again but due to my complications after delivering Lily I have some tissue left in my cervix so I can't try again until this has cleared, which it hopefully will with my period, although I don't know when that will be.
I'm not very good with words but I can say everything you are feeling is normal, it's ok to upset one minute and fine the next, it's ok to be angry and want your answers, I haven't had Lily's results back yet, I'm praying there isn't a problem with me, but ill have to wait.
Big hugs to you xx