LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[LornaMJ]

Hi everyone,

Been trying to catch up

Pbl congrats on starting IVF such an exciting time for you!

Dovcav great to hear you are starting straight on IVF that is our plan!

Flou really hope this is for you....I too this month a year ago found out I was pg and the I had an ectopic!!!

Jziller sorry you have gone through what you have and good luck with everything...I get public funded IVF

AFM...I have had rough ride this past fortnight! Really bad cramps over the weekend the worst waking me up really though it was AF but no sign! I am not looking forward to this AF as I will be passing 12 follies...yikes!! However there is a small possibility I may still get a BFP as we did BD at the right time in case the FS was wrong! I will have a BT done tomorrow to confirm either way and if AF shows straight back into IVF!,

Myshelsong glad you are feeling better after acupuncture and enjoy the break from it all!!

 

[xxshellsxx]

Ladies i know i haven't kept up with posting much in here, but i read along to hear how your all doing

Spoiler

Just wanted to update you that after my lap and dye in august my first clear cycle afterwards I O'd 3 days earlier than usual (nearly missed it on CD10) i got my BFP on Monday this week - my first ever. Au natural too - still sinking in!

12 years it has taken me but always have hope ladies no matter how difficult the journey to get there, what ever route it takes to get to the end result xx

I'm starting over again after miscarrying my miracle last week

 

[pipilotta]

Oh no shells. I'm so incredibly sorry. This is so so sad.
Make sure you look after yourself and I hope your dh does too. Lots of hugs.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

So sorry to hear that shells! I may have some inspiration though if you are feeling up to it.

Hope everyone else is ok - I was MIA because I went on holiday for a few weeks. And:

Spoiler

I got back and thought my period was a bit late, and tested...

Another bfp 2 months after my m/c (and the first month I ovulated properly)... it's quite a light line and I have no idea when I ovulated so I'm v. v. nervous.

 

[xxshellsxx]

So sorry to hear that shells! I may have some inspiration though if you are feeling up to it.

Hope everyone else is ok - I was MIA because I went on holiday for a few weeks. And:

Spoiler

I got back and thought my period was a bit late, and tested...

Another bfp 2 months after my m/c (and the first month I ovulated properly)... it's quite a light line and I have no idea when I ovulated so I'm v. v. nervous.

Amazing news xx gives me some hope xx

 

[Myshelsong]

Lorna - my fingers crossed for you that the cramping was one solid bean implanting ...

Shell - I am so very very sorry to hear about your news.
My heart goes out to you, Big Hugs hun!

Ella - How wonderful, amazing, exciting for you, Wish you and bean all the best.

As for me we are back on for trying this month, had the talk last night and the hubby really wants to keep moving forward. Even though there is no scientific reasearch supporting Soy I have decided to try this again with the max dosage of 200 mg hoping that it does help but I am not getting my hopes up. I just hope that my acupuncture and yoga help me relax this time around and not get so worked up when/if ar arrives.

 

[pbl_ge]

Shell, that is the most heartbreaking news I've heard in a long time. After all you've been through you really deserved a sticky bean! I hope that you're one of the women with a quick post-mc sticky bfp. I've seen SO many ladies get their rainbow baby their first month or two back!

Ella -

Spoiler

That's WONDERFUL news! Are you getting betas monitored? Will be watching for updates and hoping that this is your sticky bean at last!

Myshel - That sounds like a great plan! Have you been feeling good and Oing well on soy? I know some women have had troubles, but I've never tried it. Glad the acupuncture went well!

Lorna, OMG is today blood test day? [-o< Hoping you get good (but not too good ) news!!!

JZill, great news on the blood tests! Seems like you've had a lot more than most people who haven't seen an RE yet. Have you had the sperm tested yet? As for IVF, I'm one of the lucky few with insurance to cover it, although most ladies in other countries have governmental help. Our insurance is expensive, but I switched to this option as soon as I knew I was going to have trouble TTC. Definitely getting my money's worth!

Dovkav, yay for another try! Good luck at your ultrasound. I hope that they can get the transfer to go better this time. I did have the trial transfer, and it went smoothly. They do it routinely at my clinic.

Flou, I'm so sorry about your grandma. It's terrible to have a loss when you're already dealing with so much. Good luck with your TWW-I hope you get a surprise at the end of it!

Hope everyone is doing well. Lots of exciting stuff on this thread right now!

 

[flou]

Congrats Ella! I hope this little bean sticks!

Shell nothing really prepares you on how to deal with a mc. Take time heal and i hope you get your rainbow soon!

Lorna i hope what your experiencing is a positive sign. Fxd!

 

[xxshellsxx]

thanks girls x

people keep saying that it's good that the lap and dye was successful and now i know i can get pg... they are the ones who have no idea how devastating it is to have a miracle BFP taken away from you. I would rather not have know how that felt and still be plodding along in my 'if it happens, it happens' bubble.

Did anyone else who has experienced MC feel really apprehensive that first BD afterwards? I was so tense, and sobbed so much afterwards.... felt like such a failure at having to start this journey all over again I'd already spurned DH's advances the night before but felt i really had to as he is keen to get trying again. His way of coping with our loss i suppose - he then felt bad because it upset me so much. I guess time will help x

 

[pieceofpie]

Hello Myshelong,

I never in my life suspected you were going through so much, I am so sorry to read of all your pains, I felt them and can understand what you and understand what is happening to you as I went through the exact same thing the only difference is I tried taking my life several times.

Remember that in all things God is great, and he will answer your prayer because he sees the heart of your desire for a child and it will come I will promise you that. You must remember to start putting yourself first and prepare your body as if a baby is already in there and work at getting out, socializing and putting as much stress aside as you can. I know its hard but take tiny steps and you will see how far you will get, even if it means distancing yourself from all the baby stories and pregnant women for awhile and concentrate on you for a change.

I have been ttc for 10 years and still no baby, so much going on inside but don't want to bore anyone. Recently lied to myself and say I want no kids but that was to cover and give an excuse for the hurt I am currently feeling and the fact that I am over 37. Been through soo much and then some, I know your pain I do. I am still somewhat holding hope.

All my best to everyone on this board.

 

[Myshelsong]

Thanks Pie. I didn't want to harp on the other thread as there are a few that are happily pregnant now and me feeling sorry for myself is probably not the best place to vent.

I have to say knowing that I am not alone in the journey and having an outlet has helped me release some of my emotional baggage and feel like a normal person most of the time is great.

Pbl - what are your next steps? I dont know much about IVF so are you just starting the fertility drugs now? I know you were on BC so is this going to help mature eggs and whatnot?

I know that some are doing IVF differently or at least I know Dovkav is doing natural IVF and Pbl and Lorna are doing what I think we would consider "normal" hormone enduced IVF - did you have or are you having any side affects with the hormones?

Me: I do normally ovulate and last time I took soy I did ovulate although a bit later. I am taking from day 4 - 8 in hopes it matures one good egg really well. I am still not 100% charting or temping again. We are just going to try to hit every other day

 

[TLB1986]

Thanks Pie. I didn't want to harp on the other thread as there are a few that are happily pregnant now and me feeling sorry for myself is probably not the best place to vent.

I have to say knowing that I am not alone in the journey and having an outlet has helped me release some of my emotional baggage and feel like a normal person most of the time is great.

Pbl - what are your next steps? I dont know much about IVF so are you just starting the fertility drugs now? I know you were on BC so is this going to help mature eggs and whatnot?

I know that some are doing IVF differently or at least I know Dovkav is doing natural IVF and Pbl and Lorna are doing what I think we would consider "normal" hormone enduced IVF - did you have or are you having any side affects with the hormones?

Me: I do normally ovulate and last time I took soy I did ovulate although a bit later. I am taking from day 4 - 8 in hopes it matures one good egg really well. I am still not 100% charting or temping again. We are just going to try to hit every other day

fx- Good Luck!!

 

[dovkav123]

I am very upset and mad about losses and heartbreaks I find out every day in this thread.
I am jumping from joy about preggo announcements. LTTTC person went through so much. He diserves it. No spoilers needed. Brings be down to the ground and shows Hope for me and others.


Myshel,
Try maca root powder too. It helps to balance hormones, if your progesterone or estrogen is low or two high It'll help to balance it through out your cycle. I had spotting for years, I had to wear a thin pad all the way till my O. Than 4 days before my AF spotting came back. I took just few pills 1500-2000mg a day before my O, I have no spotting anymore. I was diagnosed corpus luteus deficiency just 3 months ago. My progesterone was a little low on CD25. Look at me now, retrieved mature egg, fertilized....

Today I had an ultrasound. CD8, 16mm follicle and uterine lining 8mm.
Saturday HCG shot and ER on Monday. 3rd natural cycle IVF here we come! I am here to face you and to beat you!

I and my hubby went to church today and we lit a candle and asked God to love us stronger and show us a smoother and faster way to a miracle. I prayed for all the girls I know and I don't know, to all the couples who are facing such a difficult journey.
Blessings to all of you!

 

[Myshelsong]

Thank you so much for the support!

Wishing you all the best, 3rd time is the charm!

 

[pbl_ge]

Good luck, Dovkav! Third time's the charm.

One thing I'm really jealous about is how much quicker other IVF protocols are, like Dovkav's! Here's my routine, since Myshel asked:
Sept 14th: Start birth control. Take through Oct. 11.
Oct. 7: Start Lupron. Take until egg retrieval.
Oct. 18: Start Gonal-F (stims). Take until egg retrieval.

Tentative egg retrieval week ~ Oct 28th.

So the whole dang thing is about six week long to even get to retrieval. Then the real stress begins! I'm not 100% certain why that long a phase of birth control pills is necessary. I know that it can help with cysts, endometriosis, and other problems--it sort of quiets you down hormonally before the docs start REALLY messing with things. The Lupron prevents ovulation--the doc explained it as the brake pedal compared the the acceleration of stims.

This is probobably more than you asked for. Only other thing that I'll say is that a lot of women struggle with side effects from the drugs, but so far I'm doing okay (knock wood). I was cranky on the BCP, but that's mostly a problem for other people, not me. No symptoms on Lupron, yet, unless you could spotting.

Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[flou]

thanks girls x

people keep saying that it's good that the lap and dye was successful and now i know i can get pg... they are the ones who have no idea how devastating it is to have a miracle BFP taken away from you. I would rather not have know how that felt and still be plodding along in my 'if it happens, it happens' bubble.

Did anyone else who has experienced MC feel really apprehensive that first BD afterwards? I was so tense, and sobbed so much afterwards.... felt like such a failure at having to start this journey all over again I'd already spurned DH's advances the night before but felt i really had to as he is keen to get trying again. His way of coping with our loss i suppose - he then felt bad because it upset me so much. I guess time will help x

I felt exactly that way when me and my dh bd for the first time after my mc. It almost felt like i was doing it for the first time. I put it down to the grief. Do take comfort from the fact you have conceived it will happen again. It took us 19 months to get our bfp so i was devastated when we lost our little bean. People would say at least now you can conceive but i didn't want to conceive another one i wanted the baby i lost. Its nearly a year since my mc and i still haven't had conceived but i take comfort in the fact its happened once it must happen again. It will get better, shell

 

[pbl_ge]

thanks girls x

people keep saying that it's good that the lap and dye was successful and now i know i can get pg... they are the ones who have no idea how devastating it is to have a miracle BFP taken away from you. I would rather not have know how that felt and still be plodding along in my 'if it happens, it happens' bubble.

Did anyone else who has experienced MC feel really apprehensive that first BD afterwards? I was so tense, and sobbed so much afterwards.... felt like such a failure at having to start this journey all over again I'd already spurned DH's advances the night before but felt i really had to as he is keen to get trying again. His way of coping with our loss i suppose - he then felt bad because it upset me so much. I guess time will help x

I felt exactly that way when me and my dh bd for the first time after my mc. It almost felt like i was doing it for the first time. I put it down to the grief. Do take comfort from the fact you have conceived it will happen again. It took us 19 months to get our bfp so i was devastated when we lost our little bean. People would say at least now you can conceive but i didn't want to conceive another one i wanted the baby i lost. Its nearly a year since my mc and i still haven't had conceived but i take comfort in the fact its happened once it must happen again. It will get better, shell

I completely forgot to respond to this! Sorry.

I felt exactly the same way. It actually took a few weeks to rekindle the intimacy. I just felt so awful, and I didn't want anyone to touch me. Then it took a couple rounds for me to be an enthusiastic participant again. I do know some women who say they craved the intimacy following a m/c, so everyone is different.

I too take comfort in the "you know you can get pregnant" thing (although in my case that once did damage that made it LESS likely to happen again in the future), but for some women this is the worst thing in the world to hear. This is when all of our experiences become unique and totally subjective. I would personally much rather have another miscarriage than another year with no bfp, but I know many women strongly disagree with me. It would just be nice to have another opportunity at first base, as I have a much elevated risk of another m/c, for a variety of reasons.

All of this just sucks--no one should have to experience a miscarriage or infertility. There's no justice in this, and all we can do is try to handle the crappy hand we've been dealt.

I hope that helps a bit Shell. I'm so sorry you're in this position. It makes me mad.

 

[pieceofpie]

I finally read through the whole thread, I was at work and unable to but could have only sent something brief to Myshelong.

I am so sorry about the M/C, I hope and pray that you get a BFP soon.

I have no idea about IVF, read upon it and it was suggested to me by my doctor but never paid much attention.

I had low progesterone, was told I had poor ovarian reserves however, it did not make sense to me because my fsh and lh comes back normal in the 3.52 and 4.02 miu range however prolactin was low. I took matters into my hands rather than my doctors pocket just to make sure I tried all I could before going back again. Its has been seven years NTNP and 3+ years seriously trying. I did the following changes so far. taken burdock roots to stimulate heat for three weeks each month; magnesium is healthy for balancing out the body, B-6, B-12, Vitex which is an hormone for women that has been used by the Egyptian, Chinese and Greek from the beginning. It increase progesterone, helps with strong egg formation etc. the only draw back it takes a bit longer to work, about three months I think. I started August 10 2013 with two tablets as per suggested dose but went to one due to making me ill and 800 mg folic acid. Last week I started strong B-complex because I now realise my body does not convert or take B-vitamins from anything I have eaten. This was never pointed out to me by a doctor. I started going over notes and history and realise that whenever I got pregnant, I was on B-vitamin supplements, follow up and learn about my body.

To date not only did I have a PMS free period, but no twinge during ovulation but I did ovulate judging by CF and now I am three day late for AF. There is no indication of anovulatory period.

Currently cervix is medium/medium and medium and temperature this morning was 98.5, Ladies I am of the opinion that it will happen for everyone on this thread sometimes we just have to try a little "home remedy along with the doctors" for full effectiveness. I am waiting to see if AF arrive any day now and if she has not by Monday of next week I will test. I take comfort in knowing I gave it all I got and can put it in the hands completely now. Than that is just me.

My FX and best of luck to everyone including baby dust.

 

[pipilotta]

Dovkav, I wish you good luck for this round too. I'm with everyone here: 3rd time's a charm.
I'm also struggling reading everyone's hard journey and am so hoping for a bfp here.

I got my letter with my date for pre ivf meeting with the fs which will be just before Christmas. And I guess my first cycle will start at the beginning of the new year.

Work has calmed down back to normal, which is a big relief.

A good weekend to everyone!

 

[pipilotta]

Dovkav, I wish you good luck for this round too. I'm with everyone here: 3rd time's a charm.
I'm also struggling reading everyone's hard journey and am so hoping for a bfp here.

I got my letter with my date for pre ivf meeting with the fs which will be just before Christmas. And I guess my first cycle will start at the beginning of the new year.

Work has calmed down back to normal, which is a big relief.

A good weekend to everyone!