LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[Myshelsong]

Thank you I am freaking out in a great way.

Getting excited

DBZ That is great news that you can change your insurance, I know that prices in the states are crazy expensive. 💸💰💊

 

[Miaw]

I just got some amazing news on Friday, our fertility appointment got bumped to OCT 27!!!!
Freaking out💖

I wish you all the luck in the world. And send tons of baby dust your way.

 

[Calasen]

Welcome, n.miller, Calasen and deafgal! I hope this thread is just what you're looking for.

I'm not new to this thread honey, have actually been here since the beginning 6 years ago. Just really unlucky when it comes to fertility.

God Luck Shel!!!!!

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi Calasen, I thought I recognized the name. I understand needing a break, I struggle all the time with trying to not overwhelm myself and routinely take weeks or months off of everything.

 

[deafgal01]

DB- not sure if this is what I'm looking for. I don't fit in anywhere anymore. Many ladies I friended on here have gone on to have their babies or are on their second pregnancies (or expecting their 3rd).

What the heck... I'll tell a little bit so you have some background besides the info you can see from my siggy.

I've been married to my sweetheart since 2007. We started ttc Dec. 2010. One year later, nothing- not even a bfp so husband went and got SA done. That results came back to us right before New Year's day- I think we actually got the news on New year's eve. No swimmers... So for a year the husband tried some type of clomid med, and we got tests and biopsies and stuff done to see if we could fix the male infertility factor. By Fall 2012, it was obvious we'd have to undergo IUI or IVF to get our baby. We went in this one clinic but the dr joked about it being my husband's fault. Needless to say, we never went back to that clinic and we chose a different one. June 2013, we went to the new clinic- got group counseling (which was required prior to any treatments), lined up a donor, and I underwent IUI with natural cycle (no meds) in Sept. 2012. That didn't work. I tried again with injections and the second IUI didn't work either. So we've been on a break since then mainly due to money- we saved up for 2 IUIs and it was supposed to last for 3 but we didn't have enough samples left and all.

During all this time, I feel like my faith has been tested- I no longer believe that miracles will happen to me, that I'm not going to be blessed with a baby. My hope and dream of having one is diminishing every year that passes. I do still believe miracles happen and that God exists but I'm just lost, I don't get it. I don't know why we have to suffer on this "infertility" journey. Yes it'll make us stronger and stuff, but for what? At what costs?

 

[DBZ34]

Welcome, n.miller, Calasen and deafgal! I hope this thread is just what you're looking for.

I'm not new to this thread honey, have actually been here since the beginning 6 years ago. Just really unlucky when it comes to fertility.

God Luck Shel!!!!!

Sorry! And I'm sorry you've been here for so long. I totally understand needing to take a break though. Sometimes you've got to step back from all this baby business and focus on yourself.

Good luck with the Clomid!

DB- not sure if this is what I'm looking for. I don't fit in anywhere anymore. Many ladies I friended on here have gone on to have their babies or are on their second pregnancies (or expecting their 3rd).

What the heck... I'll tell a little bit so you have some background besides the info you can see from my siggy.

I've been married to my sweetheart since 2007. We started ttc Dec. 2010. One year later, nothing- not even a bfp so husband went and got SA done. That results came back to us right before New Year's day- I think we actually got the news on New year's eve. No swimmers... So for a year the husband tried some type of clomid med, and we got tests and biopsies and stuff done to see if we could fix the male infertility factor. By Fall 2012, it was obvious we'd have to undergo IUI or IVF to get our baby. We went in this one clinic but the dr joked about it being my husband's fault. Needless to say, we never went back to that clinic and we chose a different one. June 2013, we went to the new clinic- got group counseling (which was required prior to any treatments), lined up a donor, and I underwent IUI with natural cycle (no meds) in Sept. 2012. That didn't work. I tried again with injections and the second IUI didn't work either. So we've been on a break since then mainly due to money- we saved up for 2 IUIs and it was supposed to last for 3 but we didn't have enough samples left and all.

During all this time, I feel like my faith has been tested- I no longer believe that miracles will happen to me, that I'm not going to be blessed with a baby. My hope and dream of having one is diminishing every year that passes. I do still believe miracles happen and that God exists but I'm just lost, I don't get it. I don't know why we have to suffer on this "infertility" journey. Yes it'll make us stronger and stuff, but for what? At what costs?

Oh, I know how you feel....I joined a left-behind TTC group for women who were left behind in other groups and then most of the group got pregnant and left and it was just me, left behind again. Yeah....

I'm so glad you got out of there when that doctor made that bad joke. One of the things my MIL says that I actually agree with is that you should find a doctor that gets you and understands where you're coming from. That doc was obviously out of touch for sure. Who wants to hear something like that?

What's your plan for the future? Are you saving up for more IUIs or IVF?

I have no idea why we're on this infertility journey.I keep telling myself it's because I will appreciate my kids more or maybe it is making me stronger in some way or maybe it's to test my faith....but I would love to have it be over. Soon. And the cost...it's pretty high. I have never felt worse about myself or been as depressed as I have when I've been TTC and feeling like some kind of monumental failure.

 

[deafgal01]

DB- to be honest, I have no idea what my next plan is for sure. I thought about doing home insemination- cheaper alternative... But I just don't know. I've read that in some forums it's taken ladies up to a year for that method to work. So it's still a gamble and it's been so hard for me already this far. I'm not sure how much more "let down" I can handle. I have grad school I'm applying for next year and that program will take about 15 months to complete and I have no idea if I want to be or not pregnant during all that. If money wasn't an obstacle, I would definitely do another IUI in next few months but realistically I can't afford that right now. The natural cycle of IUI wasn't so bad but the 2nd IUI wrecked my hormones and I felt crazy for a couple months when my AF was not normal (I think if I tracked right, it was off for like 5 months which is eternity and by that I mean it wasn't my normal flow, it was just weird).

 

[Myshelsong]

Deaf, that is hard dealing with low sperm issues.
I know you have probably tried everything under the moon to improve sperm quality but have you tried CoQ10 and Fertilaid for men together? If you are saving up and doing natural cycles in the mean time I feel there is never any harm to try new things. I have heard some really good reviews on them combined.

Personally I have completely given up on anything natural. I know that there is something wrong, I just don't know what it is. I know this will not happen with out the help of doctors assistance I just hope that they can find something to help me before it is too late.
DBZ, I know how you feel I feel like a failure in many things now. I'm a failure as a woman and I Am a failure the wife and maybe I'll be a failure as a mother which is why this is just not happening. Self doubting is the worst. I just wish I knew that I was on the right path.

 

[deafgal01]

My- low sperm? More like azoospermia... Worst situation of all... NO sperms! We don't even know why either- they didn't find any, even after using clomid or something similar for 3 months, not even one sperm to give us hope or reason why we're dealing with this.

The only plus about this situation is I never have to worry about getting knocked up after having kids... If I ever have any...

 

[wannabemummyb]

DB- not sure if this is what I'm looking for. I don't fit in anywhere anymore. Many ladies I friended on here have gone on to have their babies or are on their second pregnancies (or expecting their 3rd).

What the heck... I'll tell a little bit so you have some background besides the info you can see from my siggy.

I've been married to my sweetheart since 2007. We started ttc Dec. 2010. One year later, nothing- not even a bfp so husband went and got SA done. That results came back to us right before New Year's day- I think we actually got the news on New year's eve. No swimmers... So for a year the husband tried some type of clomid med, and we got tests and biopsies and stuff done to see if we could fix the male infertility factor. By Fall 2012, it was obvious we'd have to undergo IUI or IVF to get our baby. We went in this one clinic but the dr joked about it being my husband's fault. Needless to say, we never went back to that clinic and we chose a different one. June 2013, we went to the new clinic- got group counseling (which was required prior to any treatments), lined up a donor, and I underwent IUI with natural cycle (no meds) in Sept. 2012. That didn't work. I tried again with injections and the second IUI didn't work either. So we've been on a break since then mainly due to money- we saved up for 2 IUIs and it was supposed to last for 3 but we didn't have enough samples left and all.

During all this time, I feel like my faith has been tested- I no longer believe that miracles will happen to me, that I'm not going to be blessed with a baby. My hope and dream of having one is diminishing every year that passes. I do still believe miracles happen and that God exists but I'm just lost, I don't get it. I don't know why we have to suffer on this "infertility" journey. Yes it'll make us stronger and stuff, but for what? At what costs?

Hey hun, i'm still around, you may remember me from the stress free ttc group. I know what you mean about being the last one standing....i've been the last in most groups i've joined, so tend to lurk more than anything now days.

Sorry to hear about the 0 sperm, thats really hard.

 

[Swtpinkbabi]

Hi ladies, I just want to say I understand how you all feel. My husband and I TTC for 9 years. I had lost faith and felt like a miserable wife myself. I hated being around friends and family with kids for years. So I avoided them all and went on. We actively stopped trying for about two years and I took some time to stop baby thinking. We decided to give it one more try with iui this year. My doctor tried me on Femara this time. I will never forget what the doc that did the iui said, "don't worry u only need one sperm". We left thinking it wasn't going to happen. But the doctor was right.
I wish you all luck on your journeys and baby dust to you.

 

[deafgal01]

Wanna - you do seem familiar. Lurk is all I ever do now. That and be angry so very bitter and angry. What did we do wrong that we have to be in this situation - wanting a baby and not getting one still?!

 

[madtowngirl]

Wanna - you do seem familiar. Lurk is all I ever do now. That and be angry so very bitter and angry. What did we do wrong that we have to be in this situation - wanting a baby and not getting one still?!

I also mostly lurk. I stupidly joined a TTCAL group on Facebook after my first loss. Everyone but me got pregnant. Then, they kept saying patronizing things to me, like "oh it will happen when you least expect it!" I'm sorry, but when you want a baby this badly, there is no "least expecting it."

I don't understand where I went wrong in life to deserve this. I did everything right - I got good grades in school, I didn't sleep around, I found a guy who really loves me and is stable and has a good job. We waited until we could reasonably support a child - and nothing. Now I have people telling me, "maybe you're just not meant to be a parent."

 

[Myshelsong]

OMFG I just got a call from the Clinic and they are saying my previous Dr has still not sent over the forms and medical history. If they don't get it by tomorrow they are cancelling our appointment!!! I sent the request two weeks ago and called last week begging them to rush this. I even lied about when the appointment would be so they would rush it. They said they would have him sign and release them and when I called today again to speed it up they said they don't have my request anymore so I have to resubmit everything.
This is freaking nuts, I had the worst Dr ever and now I can't get to see a real one?

Sorry for the rant, anyone else dealing with lazy Drs?

Sorry about the zero sperm. I read it but I didn't process what that meant completely. I wrongly assumed you had meant something else. Big hugs hun, that is a lot to take in.

 

[deafgal01]

My- I've known for 3 years this December. It's been a long road. I don't know if I'm any closer to the end of it. I don't know if I'll ever achieve my dream of being a mother and experiencing pregnancy. But one thing for sure- you all have better chance than I do. I have a 0.000001% chance in hell (compared to those of you with unexplained infertility). I don't know what hurts more- the fact my man can't give me a baby or the fact that I might never have a baby.

 

[Myshelsong]

So we just got back from our fertility appointment and I have to say I am excited about the next steps. This doctor seems on board and we are already going to start the investigation cycle tomorrow!
The only thing that took me back was when he was reading our reports from my last doctor it mentioned that I have uteral fibroids ....... Which my last doctor did not mention when we had our last appointment after the lap 18 months ago. so it appears the previous Dr did not notice this on the report. WTF

 

[deafgal01]

My- good luck with the new dr and hopefully this is the change you need in order to get your baby on this long journey. It's odd that the last dr didn't mention that to you. Good thing you changed drs. Every little detail is so important for us to be aware about.

 

[Swtpinkbabi]

So we just got back from our fertility appointment and I have to say I am excited about the next steps. This doctor seems on board and we are already going to start the investigation cycle tomorrow!
The only thing that took me back was when he was reading our reports from my last doctor it mentioned that I have uteral fibroids ....... Which my last doctor did not mention when we had our last appointment after the lap 18 months ago. so it appears the previous Dr did not notice this on the report. WTF

Good luck on your first cycle. I pray you find answers and get the baby you've been waiting for.

 

[KatO79]

Hi ladies

I'm 35 and DH is 37 and we've been TTC #1 since end of September/start of October 2013. We've had no luck apart from the chemical during cycle #7 back in April (I'm on cycle #15 now). I have regular 26 day cycles with the pretty odd 27 day cycle here and there.

I've tried OPKs (know I O almost always CD13, otherwise CD14) and the CBFM but decided it was stressing me so we decided to take a break from those things. I used to take my BBT and saw the temp shift every month so I'm pretty sure I'm Oing.

We've tried pretty much every sort of BDing plan, Preseed, Conceive Plus (trying for the 2nd time this month) and Softcups. I'm currently taking a pregnancy vitamin (they don't have prenatals in this country) and Omega-3 plus take EPO from CD1 until I O. I've previously tried taking FertileCM pills (as I only get watery CM as my most fertile), grapefruit juice and raw garlic to try and get EWCM but nothing helped so I'm accepting the fact I can only make watery with sometimes small patches of EWCM mixed in.

We recently got our referral as you have to have been TTCing for at least 12 months in this country, no matter your age, to get one. Luckily the state pays for most of the fertility treatments so we'll be getting it pretty much for free. Our first meeting with our fertility clinic is November 5th. I got a blood hormone test done but only the clinic knows the results as they first want to tell us at the meeting. They'll be doing an ultrasound and giving me a referral to get an HSG done but since I'll have Oed November 1st, I won't be able to get that done until after AF shows up

So that's a bit about my journey Hope I've tried long enough to join you as I'm feeling a bit out of place on the TTC #1 forum since many seem to get their BFPs after 4 months and on the over 35 forum many have children already and aren't TTCing #1 like I am. The ladies have been very nice but I'd really like to have a place where others know where I'm coming from and I'm not constantly seeing many ladies announce there BFPs after 3-4 months of trying. When I start fertility treatments, I'll also be joining the assisted conception forum but maybe I'll be seeing some of you there as well?

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi Kat. Welcome to the thread, I hope that you find the support you are looking for during this journey. It is exciting that you got a referral, I hope your doctor is helpful and supportive. We finally for a Dr that I have faith in and feeling positive for the first time in three years.