LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[DBZ34]

Emmy- and welcome! I think we all struggle with things while we TTC. I have a couple of friends that are doing Slimming World and it seems to have really worked for them. I'm well impressed with their results so far. It seems like a healthy way to lose weight. I hope it works for you and you get the results you're looking for!

Myshel- It must have been so nice to have the house to yourselves! Good luck with the move! It'll be so nice once everything is done and you're all settled in.

I'm moving in a couple of weeks myself, back to the US, so I'm more than a little stressed at the moment and the way DH packs sets my teeth on edge. I've done more repacking of boxes than I have packing boxes myself at this point. But hopefully things will smooth out soon.

As for TTC, I'm waiting on AF at the moment. Hopefully she comes today or tomorrow because I'm scheduled for a hysteroscopy on Thursday and if I'm bleeding heavily, they might not do it. I'm just hoping to get some answers about why we keep m/c'ing. After the procedure, the problem becomes that they advise no sex for a week after and that's right around my fertile time...decisions decisions.

 

[EmmyReece]

Myshelgong not long now Glad you got some time alone and chance to relax. We used to live with hubby's parents and it was a complete and utter nightmare sometimes, so I totally sympathise.

DBZ34 really hope the moving house goes well for you too. Having to repack the boxes must be driving you nuts As for the no sex for a week following the procedure, maybe you could wait and see how you feel? Maybe not going for it this cycle would be of benefit because of moving, but on the other hand I totally understand about not wanting to waste your fertile time as I know I would feel the same too

As for me, I'm still waiting on af. Cm really doesn't know what it's doing, one minute it's ewcm and then the next it's creamy Had a nightmare of a weekend food wise so I need to pull it back this week. We were at hubby's parents' caravan this weekend and he went and forgot his wallet so it was a case of us having to eat what they were, which wasn't brilliant. So I've got some healthy meals planned this week to try and pull it back in time for weigh in on friday morning

 

[MMMMinnie]

Today is my day three and I went to the appt at USF so that I can start yet another cycle of injections. I had my blood drawn and did an ultrasound. Everything turned out find and I received the call with the go-ahead for the injections only they want to keep me on the same dose, 75. My follicles were more developed when I was on clomid and I just don't understand why they would keep me on the same dose of Gonal-f even after I didn't conceive on the previous cycle. This is so frustrating. I need to stay calm but every time I go to my appts I get disappointed. I started writing a journal last year Sept which is when I started incorporating fertility treatments other than clomid. I have been at this a total of ten years. The first three years we tried naturally, then we started getting tested, getting EVERYTHING tested, with results stating that nothing is wrong. I then started charting my period, to include its texture, days that I was ovulating, days that I was sick, days that we had intercourse, and my base temp every morning (five yrs). All that did was irritate me because I still didn't get pregnant and I just dont understand why especially if nothing is wrong with either of us. In 2011 I had us get tested again, EVERYTHING still nothing is apparently wrong and this is when I starting taking clomid. Clomid made ovulation the most painful time of month and having intercourse was hard. I had to force myself to because I had a goal. I did clomid by itself until Sept2013 which is when we started doing clomid with IUI. IUI... not something that I wish on my worst enemy. I have not really ever expressed my emotions During the procedure I act like they are not painful and just deal but those do not feel good whatsoever. I have not to anyone other then my husband and even then I censor most of them. One cycle the doctor pulled my uterus forward with some kind of forceps- I bled for a week and had faint spells for about three days (no luck getting prego that cycle for sure). Last cycle I was very hopeful but again I failed as a woman. Each time that I am not able to get pregnant I feel more and more of a failure in life. I have dreamt about having my own child since the birth of my baby sister 24 years ago (who by the way has two child of her own). I am the only one in my and my husbands entire family without children. Which wouldnt be an issue but every month I find out someone in pregnant again and every time we are around family they ask "so when are you two going to start having kids?" As if its our choice not to. I have completely withdrawn myself from pretty much everyone I know just so that I wont be in the situation of them quizzing me on where my children are. I feel like I am slowly burying myself from the world. All I want to do lately is hide in my house and not talk to anyone. I need some motivation or inspiration. I cant talk to anyone I know because they have no understanding whatsoever of what I am going through nor do I feel like hearing "oh your time will come" from people who didnt have to struggle in order to create their children. Honestly I even have a hard time talking to people who tell me it took them a year. Well Im at ten years so their one year sure as hell doesnt make me feel better at my situation at all. As a matter a fact it makes me feel even more hopeless about me chances.

No one has to respond to this. Im just have no one and needed to just let things out. I dont want to hold anything back especially since I am starting my injections in a few hours and I want to be at ease as much as possible. I just truly want this to happen already. I send everyone who is trying baby dust and everyone who already conceived or gave birth good luck and I hope that someday I can join your group of motherhood.

 

[Myshelsong]

Hey Minnie. I feel for you and the long journey you have gone through. Not knowing why is the most painful thing to experience. I can only hope you find comfort in our little group and get your miracle one day.

Big hugs sisters, it has been a long day of painting so I am going to sleep. Talk later, the house is great!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Hi ladies,

Not sure why i've not joined this thread before.

We started ttc on christmas eve 2009. We had our first early (7 weeks) mc in July 2010 and was diagnosed with PCOS in feb 2011 with IR and was put on metformin. We got married in Sept 2012, and the had a mc at 8+6 on 13th June last year. The second mc hit me hard and it took me until jan this year to even want to bd again, because I was terrified I would get pregnant again, as I really couldn't cope with another misscarriage. We started trying again in jan 14. I'm also a plus size ltttc and have lost 2 stone since jan. Had another pcos cycle which lasted three months, then a 21 day one, the 27 days with ov confirmed by FF on cd13 and currently on CD 1 again.

I've made lots of friends on BnB before and in the two main groups i've bern part of over the years (different ladies in both) i'm one of the only ones left without a bfp or baby. I'm chuffed for the ladies but gutted at always being left behind. Lets face it with my odds hopefully the baby dust i spread will work for you all ;-)

You ladies ok if I join your little group? X

 

[madtowngirl]

Of course it's okay if you join, wannabemummyb! I'm sorry for your losses.

 

[Calasen]

My Dr is currently trying to convince me that pregnancy would be a huge mistake I am currently 2 stone away from IVF but my weight loss has shown up a degenerative hip and spine/pelvis condition. The weight was actually preventing it from getting worse by holding my hip in the socket and stopping the pelvic bone rubbing away the cartilage where it joins the spine It has been getting worse every day and the more weight I lose the worse it gets. They think if I do get pregnant it could lead to huge complications and mean I would be bed bound for the majority of the pregnancy. I can't even consider not trying IVF, but am terrified off what it will do to me now

 

[Myshelsong]

I am so sorry hun, what a tough decision. I hope you feel better, I have no idea what I would do if I had been told that.

As for me we are officially in the new house. Unfortunately hubby is in Calgary for the next two weeks which is when I ov so this month is out. Also trying to lose weight but this month seems to be a bust. Family has been over all the time going out when we were getting the house ready just can't seem to stay on track.

 

[PennyRed]

Hello Ladies,

So, I have been stalking ttc forums for a while now, but never felt compelled to post until recently. I have been ttc for 19 months. So far, my husband's SA came back good. I had an HSG done and all was clear. I ovulate (according to OPKs). So far I am in the "unexplained infertility boat", and would really like to sail away!

Some days I just feel SO low and hopeless. I am trying to cling to my faith in God and to His promises, but it's tough. I really don't talk about this with anyone because I don't want people to feel sorry for me. (not a pride thing, but when anyone asks me about ttc I cry and it's just embarrassing!) I am glad I joined this forum and am looking forward to a support group.

 

[MissCassie]

Hello ladies. Hope it's ok to join

I'm 25 and my partner is 33.
I have PCOS and have had it since I was about 16 I was put on metformin 1500mg but it made me super sick so I stopped taking it.
Last year I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had surgery in January to get rid of it. I also had a dye test and my tubes are not blocked everything is in working order.

I've been with my parter for 3.5yrs and have never ever used protection, not once have I had BFP. We have been trying for around d 1.5yrs officially. Thought something wasn't right. And my partner had his swimmers checked which came back at 12 million so on the lower side. But they are strong swimmers and high morphology.

I have done 2 rounds of clomid 50mg did nothing folies didn't grow at all. 150mg my folies grew to 10mm so half way there!

This round I am on 200mg and go back next Wednesday to have a scan to check they have grown and hopefully a trigger shot!

I also had a loss at 10wks back in 2011 which I didn't even know that I was pregnant my af was very very irregular.
I need up in hospital for 2 days.

I am hoping for a rainbow baby very soon!

Baby dust to everyone

 

[Myshelsong]

Welcome ladies, I hope you find joy and your little miracles soon.

Personally I am alone in my house trying to put away the little knickknack things and feeling completely depressed today. Since moving back to the province where I grew up my mother keeps giving me all of the old baby things from my sisters twins 11 years ago. I understand she's trying to clear out her house but I have been avoiding everything baby since I started this journey. I haven't purchased one thing baby in hopes not to jinx this and now my basement is beginning to be cluttered with little tables and little chairs, baby bumper seats and blankets. She keeps asking me if I wanted before she gives it to me and I don't know how to say not yet… How can I explain to her every time she shows me something I want to break down and start crying. She walks in my house and asked which room is going to be the nursery, all I can say is we don't have a baby yet and walk away. It doesn't help that Scott is away this week and I am alone in the house and my mom keeps stopping by.

This transition is harder than I thought it would be, new house, no job, surrounded by family all the time and I still don't have a pregnancy. Oh well, poor me… Thanks for listening ladies. How is everyone else doing?

 

[Swtpinkbabi]

Welcome ladies, I hope you find joy and your little miracles soon.

Personally I am alone in my house trying to put away the little knickknack things and feeling completely depressed today. Since moving back to the province where I grew up my mother keeps giving me all of the old baby things from my sisters twins 11 years ago. I understand she's trying to clear out her house but I have been avoiding everything baby since I started this journey. I haven't purchased one thing baby in hopes not to jinx this and now my basement is beginning to be cluttered with little tables and little chairs, baby bumper seats and blankets. She keeps asking me if I wanted before she gives it to me and I don't know how to say not yet… How can I explain to her every time she shows me something I want to break down and start crying. She walks in my house and asked which room is going to be the nursery, all I can say is we don't have a baby yet and walk away. It doesn't help that Scott is away this week and I am alone in the house and my mom keeps stopping by.

This transition is harder than I thought it would be, new house, no job, surrounded by family all the time and I still don't have a pregnancy. Oh well, poor me… Thanks for listening ladies. How is everyone else doing?

Myshel, my heart goes out to you. Most likely you will have to explain to your mother that it causes you too much pain to accept baby things at this time but thank her for offering. I pray you get your BFP soon, stay strong and keep your head up. I know it is very hard to not get depressed, we tried a very long time. Your body responds to depression the same way as stress, so we have to stay positive for fertility sake. I have my fingers crossed for you!

 

[Swtpinkbabi]

Hello ladies. Hope it's ok to join

I'm 25 and my partner is 33.
I have PCOS and have had it since I was about 16 I was put on metformin 1500mg but it made me super sick so I stopped taking it.
Last year I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had surgery in January to get rid of it. I also had a dye test and my tubes are not blocked everything is in working order.

I've been with my parter for 3.5yrs and have never ever used protection, not once have I had BFP. We have been trying for around d 1.5yrs officially. Thought something wasn't right. And my partner had his swimmers checked which came back at 12 million so on the lower side. But they are strong swimmers and high morphology.

I have done 2 rounds of clomid 50mg did nothing folies didn't grow at all. 150mg my folies grew to 10mm so half way there!

This round I am on 200mg and go back next Wednesday to have a scan to check they have grown and hopefully a trigger shot!

I also had a loss at 10wks back in 2011 which I didn't even know that I was pregnant my af was very very irregular.
I need up in hospital for 2 days.

I am hoping for a rainbow baby very soon!

Baby dust to everyone

Baby dust to you on your ttc journey. Like you I was put on Metformin years ago and stopped taking it after a couple of months. The beginning of this year however, I decided that I had to try anything. Clomid always made me ovulate but never conceive. I also had one natural bfp that ended in mc. So I went back on Metformin 1500mg in January of this year and also started walking every day for an hour. I lost about 25 lbs and got my blood glucose under control and by March had my first natural ovulation in years. In April I went back to my RE and tried Femara. We were finally successful, but the journey is still not over. I still take the Metformin to protect from miscarriage and keep my sugar under control. I hate the pill, it has horrible side affects, but it's gotten a lot better and I was determined to get my hormones in check.

 

[DBZ34]

Welcome ladies, I hope you find joy and your little miracles soon.

Personally I am alone in my house trying to put away the little knickknack things and feeling completely depressed today. Since moving back to the province where I grew up my mother keeps giving me all of the old baby things from my sisters twins 11 years ago. I understand she's trying to clear out her house but I have been avoiding everything baby since I started this journey. I haven't purchased one thing baby in hopes not to jinx this and now my basement is beginning to be cluttered with little tables and little chairs, baby bumper seats and blankets. She keeps asking me if I wanted before she gives it to me and I don't know how to say not yet… How can I explain to her every time she shows me something I want to break down and start crying. She walks in my house and asked which room is going to be the nursery, all I can say is we don't have a baby yet and walk away. It doesn't help that Scott is away this week and I am alone in the house and my mom keeps stopping by.

This transition is harder than I thought it would be, new house, no job, surrounded by family all the time and I still don't have a pregnancy. Oh well, poor me… Thanks for listening ladies. How is everyone else doing?

It feels like you and I are in the same place, Myshel.

We just moved into a new apartment a world away from all the friendships I fostered over the last 5 years, but closer to family. My mom loves to call up and chat about babies and such since now that I'm on the same continent, the calls are free. I've become adept at changing the subject. I just can't deal with it right now.

I'm trying to not be depressed, but DH went to visit a friend and so I'm left alone at the moment. I've got the new place to cleanup and decorate, I suppose, but after that's done, then what?

Not to mention the family is putting the pressure on now that we're back. They want to see us having babies...I would love to, but we're not having any luck at the moment and we don't have insurance yet, so we can't get in with a new RE.

So, new place, no job, family pressure (we won't mention the old friend pressure) and no pregnancy. Yeah...

 

[madtowngirl]

to Myshelsong and DBZ34. LTTTC is isolating enough...it really sucks that your transitions are making it worse.

AFM, my post D&C AF has finally showed, and she's quite a beast. Lots of blood and bloating, but at least it's not painful.

I got a little surprise when I called the IF clinic yesterday - not only do they want to do a day 12 U/S to confirm follicle growth, the doctor also noted that IUI was recommended if we were open to it. At our consult right after my m/c, she had said she only wanted to do 3 monitored cycles with Clomid. We're going to inquire about pricing, but I'm kind of excited about this. Not only do I FINALLY have a supportive doctor, but I do think we're ready to get a bit more aggressive with our treatments.

 

[Myshelsong]

Thank you for the support ladies.

Mad, that sounds very exciting. I would be over the moon if my doctors seem to be that supportive. Yay for aggressive treatments. My fingers are crossed for you.

DB I know exactly what you mean I feel so much pressure from both mine and Hubbies parents. I feel like I am floundering at trying to re-identify myself again. I had a different life different friends in Alberta, but now that I am here it's like I have to figure it all out again. Ugh, slowly yet surely this will happen I am sure.

 

[Myshelsong]

So I just found out that my cousin who is a LTTTC'er is pregnant naturally! It is fantastic news, her last one took five years to conceive and she only gave birth in April. she is mentally freaking out be so happy she was able to do this. I am extatic for her, however I can't help but feel disappointed that I am still not pregnant. I know we all feel this way sometimes, I just feel like a shitty person right now.

 

[Miaw]

I could definitely use some support right now, so I will give this thread a try and share my story : )

Me (27... well 28 in one week) and my husband (31... 32 in November) have been trying for almost 3 years now, still no baby or pregnancy. A year ago we met with a fertility specialist and the verdict was:

Me = Mild PCOS. Still not even sure what "mild" exactly means, since we had to take care of my husband side first I never had treatment.

Husband = very very low sperm count and motility. First sperm analysis was 7 mil and 30% motility, second analisys was 5 mil 40% motility.
He had a varicocele vein in his left testicle, he had a procedure July 7th to correct it. It went well and has about a 30% chance of improving sperm quality. We are doing another sperm analysis next month (3 months from the date of the operation was what the doctor told us, so October 7th or after I guess)

Right now I am on prenatal vitamins and my husband is taking special fertility vitamins recommended by our doctor. We are doing all we can to keep healthy. We don't smoke or drink, my husband does drink coffee and I drink tea, but neither of us abuses it.

Were we are now:

If the sperm analysis shows enough improvement we can try IUI every month. This is what we hope for. Because if there is no improvement our only option is IVF, and we cannot afford that. We briefly talked about using a sperm donor, but talking about the possibility and actually choosing that option is something else entirely, but we are open to it.

So that is it for now, it's just waiting and waiting and waiting.... it's what kills me. Waiting for appointments, waiting for results... And I am so SCARED, what if his sperm does not improve at all

 

[madtowngirl]

So I just found out that my cousin who is a LTTTC'er is pregnant naturally! It is fantastic news, her last one took five years to conceive and she only gave birth in April. she is mentally freaking out be so happy she was able to do this. I am extatic for her, however I can't help but feel disappointed that I am still not pregnant. I know we all feel this way sometimes, I just feel like a shitty person right now.

I feel this way all the time!! You're not a shitty person.

Miaw-The waiting is the worst. Wait to ovulate. Wait for test date. Wait for AF. Wait for appointments. Wait for test results. Can we all just stop waiting now and have it be our turn?

AFM, I had my IUI this morning. It was pretty much what I expected. Here's hoping it worked, now.

 

[minifeathers]

Hello all of you!

After reading your posts I'm not sure I'm considered ''long time'', well at least to my husband and I it does feel like it.

Here's my story:

I'm 29 and my husband is going on 33, we met in 2008 & married in 2009.
Last year I met my doctor in July and she prescribed me folic acid to start taking before I decided to take out my mirena. We had decided that we were going to start trying in December to hopefully give birth around October 2014. I have been soooo worried all my life to get pregnant at the wrong time (I used mirena because the pill stressed me out too much.... what if I forgot to take it 1 day!!!!)..... Anyways, I had it all planned. I was going to have my mirena removed, for sure the next day I would have my period and then max two months and I would be pregnant....

2 months later I still hadn't had my first period!! I'v been irregular since then so I don't even know when I ovulate for sure. If by friday I havemy period it will be my second consecutive months with a 35 day cycle (yay) and 3rd time at i'm 35 days since December..... I'm hoping it means 35 days is my cycle!

We are 10 months later and still not pregnant and it sucks. It's baby festival around me. We are the only ones left in my family to have kids and everyone is asking us. My poor mom dreams being a grandma (all her brothers and sisters are already even the younger ones!!) We havn't told anyone that we are trying. First because I had a plan of how I would surprise them and announce that I was pregnant, and as time passes because why is it so hard for us and so easy for everyone around us (ex: my younger cousin's gf got pregant by mistake in the 10 days she was off her pill because she needed a renewal!!!)

I used to test all the time at the beginning, now not anymore. I do try to feel my breast often... Do they hurt? Nope! I try to interpret everything, is my sense of smell stronger? Maybe yes maybe no. Do I feel nauseous....if I concentrate on the feeling I'm sure I'll start feeling nausea lol...

I have more to say but I think that's enough for the first time ... thank you for listening to me

Next Steps:
1) Get Pregnant

if step 1 does not work

2) See doctor again in december to get a prescription to go see a specialist (apparently I HAVE to wait 1 year before we can do any sort of testing to see if I'm the problem or my hubby is)