LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[deafgal01]

Welcome Kat- I hope you feel right at home here. Good luck on your journey.

 

[KatO79]

Hi Kat. Welcome to the thread, I hope that you find the support you are looking for during this journey. It is exciting that you got a referral, I hope your doctor is helpful and supportive. We finally for a Dr that I have faith in and feeling positive for the first time in three years.

I hope so too. I've read good things about our RE on the internet He seems to be competent and no complaints on his demeanor either.

Our GP was and is a real tool though First he wanted to give us an early referral (after about 8 months) and when we first decided to take up his offer 2 months later, he claimed he never said that. Then when I asked him if he could either do the hormone blood work or refer me, he refused to do so and said it was the clinic's problem. Luckily the clinic referred me to get my blood work done. But my GP won't refer me to get my HSG done before the meeting with the clinic and the clinic say for some strange reason they won't refer me until after the meeting. So our GP is delaying when I can start fertility treatmant

Glad to hear you found a good doctor, hope he can help you and you see your BFP soon

 

[Britta C]

Hello lovely ladies!

I hope no one minds if I join in. I've been on BnB before, about a year ago, but stopped posting and now I think I need the support again. First of all, let me introduce myself:

I am 24 (25 next month) and my DH is 28. We have been together for 8 years, since I was 16.

We started NTNP when I was 19 and came off BC. We got married in 2010, when I was 20 and continued to NTNP for the first year while we saved up to get a house.

After we bought our house in Aug 2011, we really got down to business with this baby making. We figured it would be a few months of trying, then hello little one! Nope, didn't happen. After 16 months, finally got the courage to make a dr appt. Did a SA on DH who of course has perfect little swimmers. Had blood work done on me, everything was normal. So I started on Clomid. 4 cycles later (all 50mg), while I did O, we never conceived. We were feeling really down by this point. After trying to conceive for almost 2 years, we never even had even a little success (while my brother and his girlfriend had TWO kids 11 months apart!)

We went natural for a while, then I started Soy Iso at the end of 2013. Again, I O'd, but never got a BFP.

Then, for whatever reason, my period decided to up and stop in March. Unfortunately, due to job changes, I didn't have health insurance until recently. Finally had another period on Sept 18th, but never O'd.

Went back to the Dr last week (Yay!). She pulled my blood again and I'm scheduled to go back next week to get the results and also have a ultrasound "just to make sure everything looks good in there." If I don't get my period before then, it's Provera for me, and then we going to do Clomid, but at a higher dose this time.

We've been officially trying for over 3 years now and I am super ready to be a mom! It's so hard trying to stay positive all the time (which is what my DH always tells me to do). I'm the only one in my family out of all my cousins and my brother who hasn't had a kid now. Even family gatherings are starting to depress me! I dread this holiday season, which is a horrible way to feel.

I love my mom to death, but she is one of those "it's in God's hands. It'll happen when it's meant to" types and she drives me NUTS. Thank god for my dear MIL, who is an RN and really does understand my frustration. It's nice to have someone who I can at least talk to sometimes about all of this, though she splits her time between here and the other side of the country, so she's not always as near as I want her to be.

So that's it, sorry for the book, but it feels SO good to get all this out!

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi Britta!
Glad to see you, sorry about the circumstances.
I am wondering has your DR done any exploratory surgeries like a HSG, or a Lap to make sure that your tubes are clean and your lady parts look right?

Although I still think my DR was useless he did do those things right away. He just stopped after he found nothing. Have you done an investigative cycle to make sure your egg quality and size is what they are looking for? I just started mine after 3.5 years of trying. At least we know there is a follicle.

AFM been doing investigative cycles all week. so far I am on day 17 - going in again today and hopefully will have a larger follicle. Yesterday my Follicle was 1.7 which is small .... my dr will let me know after all the tests after the 3D ultrasound next week. I normally ovulate today so I am pretty sure that my follicles are a bit immature even though I have a late ovulation. UGH

 

[thestarsfall]

Hi ladies, My name is Becka and I am new to this area but I've been on BnB for a while on and off. I have wanted to be a mom and be pregnant since I was in highschool and never thought it would be difficult to come by.
I was on the pill for 4 years and got married in 2012 and decided to come off the pill that year but then my DH lost his job and we decided to put off TTC for a few more months and hopefully get all the natural cycle back to normal (I went on the pill because of a) protection and b) AF was getting really randomly long and not normal). So then sorta did NTNP (I called it NTNAP with the A = always, kinda hoping for an "oops") until April of 2013 then started TTC.
I would get my hopes up every month because I would get wicked awful PMS symptoms (heavy full boobs, sensitivities to smells, tired all the time, etc) and then nope, AF would show. I have never seen a BFP in my life. We stopped "actively" TTC for a short break for Feb/March 2014 because I would prefer to not have a Christmas baby, but it wasn't active prevention either.

So April 2014 comes and it's been 1 year (ish) and no BFP so I try to get my hopes up and think that I wasn't timing things well (I was only paying attention to CM so no OPKs etc) so I order some OPKs and try my hand at BBT again and still nothing. So last month I finally got the courage to make an appointment (I dislike doctors) and went and got blood drawn for tests and just last week had a pelvic ultrasound. I haven't gotten the tests back yet so I am waiting for the results from that now.

Things I have tried (half heartedly..lol)
BBT - was hard to do because my husband works earlier than I work and I wake up often during the night so my temps seemed not stable. The months I managed to do them I got crosshairs on three separate online tracking tools so I think I ovulate
CM checks - I luckily get obvious fertile CM and so I can determine that at least
OPKs - I get one positive and then the next day CM dries up so I think I ovulate quick after an LH surge
Vitex - first month of it made my reg 32/33 day cycle a 28 day cycle so I got my hopes up but then next month was longer again and it made me feel sick all the time and wasnt good for my IBS symptoms
Soy - first cycle gave me a 28 day cycle as well but the next cycle did nothing and then I read about possible issues from taking it and decided to stop, may try again some otehr time if testing reveals nothing
EPO - gave me lots of ewcm and got rid of my horrible PMS symptoms but then teh next month gave me a longer cycle because i think it delayed ovulation which got my hopes up and devastated me emotionally...stopped taking it after 2 cycles
Maca - gave me loads of energy (!) but no noticeable change in cycle...though that cycle I also didnt have PMS as bad as usual but that might have been after effects from EPO

This cycle (and until I get any results back) I am doing naturally (even not taking my prenatal) All I take this cycle is Vitamin D (I dont get much sun) and a gentle Iron supplement because I have a history of being anemic.

Sorry that was long, lol.

 

[babylaw720]

Hi ladies! May I join you?
I am 27 and my dh is 34. We got married July 2013 and started ttc right away. Along with most people, we didn't think it would take long. As a matter of fact, I thought it would happen almost immediately and I would have a little one this past summer. I stopped bcp about 2 years before we got married. My cycles were 35 days to the hour until we started ttc. After that, my cycle got so bizarre. Because I had always been regular prior to that, the first few months, I was constantly getting my hopes up because i was "late". AF came in December and decided not to show back up until May. The first few months I was convinced I was pregnant and that it just wasn't showing up on the home tests, so I got a blood test which came back negative. My pcp wasn't concerned because it hadn't been 4 months. So in May, when it had been over 5 months, I went to her demanding some sort of answer. She checked all my blood work which came back normal, and decided that I have PCOS. I was put on metformin to regulate my cycles, which did not happen, the only thing that happened is horrible side effects. Since may, I have had a 45, 66 and 53 day cycle (the last of which was anovulatory). My pcp has now taken me off of metformin and sent in a referral to women's health to get this issue figured out. During this journey, I have watched friends and family members get their BFP on their first try or accident and have their children, while I'm still waiting just to see a BFP. It has emotionally drained me and DH, there are days that are better and days that are all consuming, but for every BFN I get (and at this point there's been a lot!) I lose a little bit of hope and wonder if it'll ever happen for us....

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi Becka and Babylaw
Sorry you are both having such an issue getting your BFP. I hope you find we can lighten your load during this journey.

Law, I read through someone's journal once that the prenatals a woman was taking actually awoken a dormant PCOS condition she had. Because she like you had regular af until starting TTC.

Becka, have you gone to see your Dr yet about the cycle length and fluctuation? Maybe there is a slight hormone imbalance.

AFM, I had a 21mm follicle yesterday and we are starting a post coital test today.... Should be fun!

 

[thestarsfall]

my cycles are usually regular and then just thrown off with the herbs and occasionally varied...I did mention it to her that they can sometimes be a week longer or whatever, so I'll bring it up again if nothing is mentioned from my bloodwork

 

[babylaw720]

Law, I read through someone's journal once that the prenatals a woman was taking actually awoken a dormant PCOS condition she had. Because she like you had regular af until starting TTC.

What would I do if that was the case? I started taking the prenatals around February, so my cycles had already gone a little crazy by that point, but it could have made it worse...
On the upside, DH had an SA done and he's all clear, so it's just me we need to fix...

 

[Myshelsong]

law - If you did all of a sudden develop PCOS the only thing to do really is treat it the way you would normally treat it I think.

It is crazy how our cycles can all of a sudden change once we are starting to pay attention to them. My thought is that maybe for me it is stress related. I know if I am crazy stressed out prior to ovulation I end up delaying ovulation by a day or two, which makes my cycles longer than normal which gets my hopes up even though I know that I am not "late". My LP normally stays the same though, which I am hoping is normal.

Having a relaxing day today of chores around the house and catching up on some overdue Downton Abbey. Super windy outside so all the fall gardening/cleaning up the yard is going to have to wait for another day or so

how are you guys doing?

 

[babylaw720]

I had clinical early this morning for most of the day (I'm in nursing school) and the rest of my day is studying/catching up on my favorite shows...

 

[KatO79]

So just got back from our first appointment with the fertility clinic

My hormone levels are all normal, for my age. So that's good DH needs to get a new SA done at the clinic as the ones he got done didn't specify how many are super mobile or something So he'll be giving a sample to the clinic on Friday so they can conduct they're own test and get more results as the ones they got from the lab weren't good enough. But based on the results of the ones he got done at the lab, it looked fine to her. The ultrasound looked good and it looks like my lining was good and that she could see I clearly Oed recently and fit in with my O date of November 1st.

So all in all very positive news She's guessing we'll need IUI but I need to get a HSG done so they're 100% sure.

 

[Quantea]

Hello everyone!

I wanted to share my story, as I feel that this may prove cathartic for me and I obviously need it, to be frank.

I am a month away from turning 31. I am smack-dab in the middle of my ideal body-weight, exercise rigorously 3 times a week, have regular periods and clockwork positive OVP tests on the 10th day of every cycle. Still, my husband and I have been TTC for more than 2 years now without a single BFP in sight.

So, we turned to medical advice. I had to have an emergency D&C at the age of 25 for massive bleeding, during which they had removed a huge protruding fibroma, so my first OB/Gyn was concerned for intrauterine adhesions. I needed to get an HSG, which unfortunately was delayed because I had to move abroad for 6 months for work-related reasons.

So when things got back on track, I did the HSG which, good news-no adhesions, but showed some slight twisting on the right tube (although still passable) and a polyp at the exit point of the left tube. Follow-up US also showed a huge cyst (like 6 cm wide) on the left ovary which I had had for more than 6 years but my first gyn was happy to ignore. So I switched to a new doctor.

My new doctor was concerned the cyst might be a cystadenoma because of its size and suggested we perform a double endoscopy/hysteroscopy under general anaesthesia. They removed the polyp and the cyst, but they also discovered endometriosis, which they cauterized. Coming off the surgery, I was happily informed that I would need to go into drug-induced menopause with shots for a few months (oh joy!).

So, fast forward a few months of insomnia and hourly heat-flashes (thankfully I'm fairly even-tempered, so hubby was saved from the crankiness the doctor had mainly warned us about) and everything is back online. We happily start trying again filled with new-found optimism, go back for my return-to-function check-up and apparently now I may have PCOS. Because one of my ovaries has like 15 cysts.

Like, seriously? Seriously??!!!

Sooo, long story short. I am a healthy 31-year old female with no other medical issues. I have an ideal body weight, exercise, eat healthy. I have regular periods with normal flow, never experience any serious pain or cramps. And yet I have beed diagnosed and/or treated for fibromas, polyps, ovarian cystadenoma, endometriosis, a somewhat twisted tube and now apparently PCOS. (doctors tend to crack up when I recite the list before getting themselves under control).

I'm tempted to think someone up there doesn't like me much.

This month we're supposed to go back to the doctor's office. Which is 3 hours away by car since we live in the coutryside. And it's 3 days away from AF-due day, I'm cramping and I saw a bit of blood again. I'm just crushed. Again. I don't know if it's spotting because the stupid polyp grew back or my period is getting wonky, but I can't deal with it anymore. I can't go back there and keep presenting every single condition listed in a Gynaecology book under the heading infertility causes. I'm just feeling sad and, frankly, hopeless like it's a huge uphill road and every time I crest this hill, a new one pops up. Like having a baby is never gonna happen for me, and it's just something other, better and happier people are only meant to experience.

To be honest, I am resigned to getting a bit depressed for a few days every month. But this time I took it a bit harder. So I wanted to turn to someone for a bit of commiseration and understanding. I am all business and "let's do everything it takes" whenever we visit my doctor. I am very practical about it all. I may feel like crying everytime I see a baby, but I keep it cool (biting the inside of your cheek helps to keep tears away in really akward situations). I am cheerful and helpful at my work place. But I just need to be able to break down once in a while, you know?

 

[Britta C]

Hello Becka, Babylaw, and Quantea! It's nice to meet you. I hate that we are all going through this, but sometimes it really helps to know that there are people out there who really do understand you and support you no matter what you're going through.

Myshel- I haven't had any of those tests done yet. So far, the most she's done is just an ultrasound and having my blood drawn. I hope everything is going well for you!

Kat - It sounds like you had a very positive first visit! That's great news. I hope only more good things are to come!

AFM - a couple of new updates. I went back to my regular doctor today. I had an appointment at 3 to get an ultrasound done and then a follow up at 3:30 to talk about my blood work that was done last week and the results of my ultrasound. Well, I showed up at 2:40, and after over an hour in the waiting room, I finally got taken back at 3:50! I was upset at first, but then learned that apparently a lady who was pregnant with twins was there and was in labor so they were having to deal with that. Anyway, finally got my ultrasound done and taken back to the room. Everything looks totally perfect. They saw no cysts or anything, blood work was great. So, they aren't sure what is causing my infertility. She did put me back on provera since I haven't had another period yet, and she prescribed another round of clomid at 50mg again to take CD 5-9, then recommended that I contact a fertility specialist. So that's exactly what I did.

Unfortunately, the only fertility specialist remotely close to me is over an hour away, but that's closer that some people have to deal with so that's good. They are called PREG (ha!) and I called before I even got to my car after my appointment today. I have an appointment setup for November 26th at 2:30 and I am so happy and excited! I was reading on their website and they normally start off with tests like the HSG and they do a lot of monitoring during cycles so I feel like I'm finally going to get something accomplished.

 

[KatO79]

Hello Becka, Babylaw, and Quantea! It's nice to meet you. I hate that we are all going through this, but sometimes it really helps to know that there are people out there who really do understand you and support you no matter what you're going through.

Myshel- I haven't had any of those tests done yet. So far, the most she's done is just an ultrasound and having my blood drawn. I hope everything is going well for you!

Kat - It sounds like you had a very positive first visit! That's great news. I hope only more good things are to come!

AFM - a couple of new updates. I went back to my regular doctor today. I had an appointment at 3 to get an ultrasound done and then a follow up at 3:30 to talk about my blood work that was done last week and the results of my ultrasound. Well, I showed up at 2:40, and after over an hour in the waiting room, I finally got taken back at 3:50! I was upset at first, but then learned that apparently a lady who was pregnant with twins was there and was in labor so they were having to deal with that. Anyway, finally got my ultrasound done and taken back to the room. Everything looks totally perfect. They saw no cysts or anything, blood work was great. So, they aren't sure what is causing my infertility. She did put me back on provera since I haven't had another period yet, and she prescribed another round of clomid at 50mg again to take CD 5-9, then recommended that I contact a fertility specialist. So that's exactly what I did.

Unfortunately, the only fertility specialist remotely close to me is over an hour away, but that's closer that some people have to deal with so that's good. They are called PREG (ha!) and I called before I even got to my car after my appointment today. I have an appointment setup for November 26th at 2:30 and I am so happy and excited! I was reading on their website and they normally start off with tests like the HSG and they do a lot of monitoring during cycles so I feel like I'm finally going to get something accomplished.

Thanks Britta C

Ok I would have been mad at first too but I guess it's understandable that they were a bit distracted by the woman in labour. Seems like you had some good news yourself too It's a bit strange that they tell you the ultrasound results afterwards though but I guess in Denmark it's different because our RE explained stuff on the screen as she was doing the ultrasound on me. She could even see I had a pretty full bladder and couldn't understand I didn't need to pee before the test

Funny about the name of the clinic, let's hope it's because they're good at helping people get preg

I think the clinic we're at also monitors cycles which is good. But that's probably also because that despite how regular I am (26-27 day cycles, mostly 26), they'll want me to take hormones even if it does end up we only need IUI like she thinks so they can better control things and they claim there's a slightly higher pregnancy rate if you take hormones than if they just let you're body do it's thing naturally.

Oh I forgot to mention that our RE right away referred me for the HSG electronically, gave me the referral in paper form in case something went wrong with the electronic one and explained what I needed to do (call the place when I get AF and to remember to call the clinic with the results as the place I'm getting it done will first sent the clinic the results some days later in paper form).

I've also done some math last night and I might first be able to go through my first IUI in January as the clinic is closed from Christmas (which is the 24th here so closed from at least the 23rd) up until and including New Year's (so including the 1st). Well see though what she says when we start discussing things after my HSG is done.

 

[Britta C]

Kat - are you nervous to do the HSG? I've heard from some people that it's not bad, but then I've heard from others that it can be very uncomfortable and even painful sometimes! I mean, it's definitely all worth it in the end, I would go through anything at this point to get my LO. I know that it's part of the usual workup at PREG and I have to say I'm actually looking forward to it. You'll have to tell me how it goes!!

I've also heard that IUI cycles that have medications or hormones accompanying them tend to have more success than natural ones. I really want to do something with mine if my doctor says that we should go IUI route, which is what I'm expecting at this point. I would love to be able to do a trigger shot so that we have more control of when I'm ovulating and know that we have the best chance, but I know that sometimes our bodies have other ideas!

So, I'm at a crossroads here and I need some help making a decision. My gyno prescribed Provera and Clomid for me, which I have picked up, but I'm not taking them yet because I don't know what my best plan would be. I have my first fertility doc appointment on Nov 26th, and from the reviews I've read and the information on their website, they will get the ball rolling as quickly as possible. I'm not sure what all tests they will do, or are typically done, and what CD they are done on, so I'm thinking about holding off on taking the Provera so that I take the last pill on the 26th, the day of my appointment. This would mean that I would have about 7 to 10 days before I started my period and maybe we could do the first IUI that cycle? I know they do all their tests "in house" so that they can get the results usually same day, so there would't be any delay from test results.

What do you ladies think? Go ahead and start the Provera and take the Clomid, or wait so that I can start this next cycle after I meet with the RE?

 

[babylaw720]

Quantea- I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. But hopefully soon you can get some answers, something that works for you, and your BFP!

Update: I started taking Vitex today in addition to my prenatals in hopes of regulating my cycle. I have my first appt with a fertility doc on thursday, so I'm hoping for the best!

 

[KatO79]

Kat - are you nervous to do the HSG? I've heard from some people that it's not bad, but then I've heard from others that it can be very uncomfortable and even painful sometimes! I mean, it's definitely all worth it in the end, I would go through anything at this point to get my LO. I know that it's part of the usual workup at PREG and I have to say I'm actually looking forward to it. You'll have to tell me how it goes!!

I've also heard that IUI cycles that have medications or hormones accompanying them tend to have more success than natural ones. I really want to do something with mine if my doctor says that we should go IUI route, which is what I'm expecting at this point. I would love to be able to do a trigger shot so that we have more control of when I'm ovulating and know that we have the best chance, but I know that sometimes our bodies have other ideas!

I've heard that as well so yeah, am a bit nervous Too bad the clinic can't do it themselves as I had the most painfree Pap smear of my life. I was lying there all in a panic that she wanted to do a new one since the last one is now a bit over 3 months old. But I felt nothing. So would've been great if they could have done it but they don't have the equipment for it. If I get AF next weekend like I expect, I can first call the place Monday as they're closed on the weekend and don't want me to call before AF actually is here (in case it's e.g. late). They'll want to do it before I O again (which is CD13 for me) so as not to damage a potentially fertilized egg so I'm guessing CD10 at the absolute latest but I'm sure they're aiming for before that if possible. I'll update when I know what date I'm going in so you know

Yeah I think that's why she wants me on hormones, despite the fact I'm very regular. But it sounds like it'll be fairly simple as it'll be in a pen type thing and she says it's very simple to use. But she'll first show me what to do when we are about to start our first IUI so I don't forget what to do in the meantime I'm sure I'll be standing in the bathroom the first time and really trying to pull myself together to put the needle in myself DH offered to do it for me but I said no thanks as I don't think he'd do it right and it'd make me even more nervous: somehow the idea of DH with a needle in his hand he's going to stick in me seems terrifying

 

[Myshelsong]

Just a quick update ... All the tests are coming up fine still no reason for the infertility. Because we have been trying so long and I am ovulating normally with a good follicle size and no issues with hubby they have decided for next month to out us on fermera and ovidrel and injectables and do IUI for s few months.
I am freaking out, I am happy we are going to move forward, but devastated that we can't conceive naturally. Hubby even mentioned as we were driving how he didn't want to conceive a child like this but he will if we have to. I have been crying all afternoon, he put me in such a bad mood and I was so excited to be finally getting somewhere I didn't even think about the fact that we by passed the normal sex and drug route and went straight to IUI....

 

[KatO79]

Just a quick update ... All the tests are coming up fine still no reason for the infertility. Because we have been trying so long and I am ovulating normally with a good follicle size and no issues with hubby they have decided for next month to out us on fermera and ovidrel and injectables and do IUI for s few months.
I am freaking out, I am happy we are going to move forward, but devastated that we can't conceive naturally. Hubby even mentioned as we were driving how he didn't want to conceive a child like this but he will if we have to. I have been crying all afternoon, he put me in such a bad mood and I was so excited to be finally getting somewhere I didn't even think about the fact that we by passed the normal sex and drug route and went straight to IUI....

Glad to hear you got good results

I understand were you're coming from as DH and I would've prefered the natural route ourselves but our wish for a baby is so strong that going through IUI to acheive it seems like just a necessary evil to make our dream come true. Even if you do go through IUI, there is no one stopping you from trying naturally at the same time as I'm sure it'll help your chances to BD as well. Then you can always believe that maybe it was a BDing session and not the IUI that helped you get your BFP.

Don't let your DH get you down, feel free to feel excited and happy about it. Try and get him to see the positive in this: that it could very well lead to you getting your baby which is what you both want

Hope you get him in a more positive mindset about all this