LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[deafgal01]

How is everyone doing?

 

[dojenstein]

Can I join you ladies. I've been lurking in your thread and am going through (or about to go through) a lot of what you guys are doing.

A little bit about me. I'm 41. Fiance is 44. He has one son from a previous marriage. I have none. We were NTNP two years ago and I got PG last January. But I MC'd at 5 weeks. We've been actively trying since then with no luck. Every cycle I track, use my OPK's, BD, lie on my back and then hope. Only to be crushed when AF shows up cycle after cycle.

So now we're working with an RE. Me and the Fiance had initial tests and my bloodwork was good (for my age) and his SA was "perfect". I just got AF yesterday and am supposed to schedule my HSG for sometime the next week or so. Then the doc wants to put me on Clomid and do IUI.

I feel like Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - But I want it NOW! I've been waiting for a year now, these next few months feel like they are years away. And I don't know how to distract myself. It's all I can think about. I find these boards, and learning more about what people are going through so comforting.

Anyway, that's my deal.

 

[KatO79]

Welcome dojenstein :wave:

I know how you feel. It's so disappointing when AF shows up every month and you feel like you've done everything possible to increase your conception odds I've been through a chemical pregnancy during my 7th cycle (lost at around 4½ weeks)and am currently in the 2WW of my 17th cycle I also have normal hormone levels for a 35 year old and my DH is within the normal, albeit on the lower end. We'll be doing our 1st IUI next cycle as I expect AF to arrive around January 6th.

Hope you get good news with your HSG. It should be done after your bleeding has stopped but before you O so it should be normally on or before CD10 (although mine was done CD11 due to they were super busy). It might make you O earlier or later than normal though. I O'ed 1 day earlier than normal after mine Mine went well and wasn't painful, just unpleasant. But both my tubes were open and I've heard women with 1 or both tubes blocked find it more painful Best thing is to relax as it'll lessen the discomfort and maybe take a pain killer 1 hour before if you're afraid about any pain.

Know all about wanting it NOW I've been feeling like that the last 2-3 months I'm a housewife so it's kinda hard to distract myself since I don't have a job to help with that but I try to with my hobbies e.g. making my own earrings and bracelets. So maybe try and find a hobby you enjoy?

 

[dojenstein]

Welcome dojenstein :wave:

I know how you feel. It's so disappointing when AF shows up every month and you feel like you've done everything possible to increase your conception odds I've been through a chemical pregnancy during my 7th cycle (lost at around 4½ weeks)and am currently in the 2WW of my 17th cycle I also have normal hormone levels for a 35 year old and my DH is within the normal, albeit on the lower end. We'll be doing our 1st IUI next cycle as I expect AF to arrive around January 6th.

Hope you get good news with your HSG. It should be done after your bleeding has stopped but before you O so it should be normally on or before CD10 (although mine was done CD11 due to they were super busy). It might make you O earlier or later than normal though. I O'ed 1 day earlier than normal after mine Mine went well and wasn't painful, just unpleasant. But both my tubes were open and I've heard women with 1 or both tubes blocked find it more painful Best thing is to relax as it'll lessen the discomfort and maybe take a pain killer 1 hour before if you're afraid about any pain.

Know all about wanting it NOW I've been feeling like that the last 2-3 months I'm a housewife so it's kinda hard to distract myself since I don't have a job to help with that but I try to with my hobbies e.g. making my own earrings and bracelets. So maybe try and find a hobby you enjoy?

Kat. Thank you so much for writing to me. I'm feeling really lonely and sad and your story and support was exactly what I needed so thank you so much.

I'm learning a lot about HSG's (as my doc told me basically nothing). I'm hoping the holidays or my work schedule don't interfere with me going on the right day. This is a new job and I can't lose it. But I told them I have some "female issues" that I will need to take care of over the next three months and that I shouldn't be gone too much. I mean, I didn't say why but that's sort of true.

I also hear some women get BFPs the month of their HSG's. I assume that's for women who may have some slight blockage and get their tubes opened so increased chance of fertility.

If all goes well I should schedule my HSG for Friday Jan. 2nd, which is CD 10. I just hope I can get an early appt and still go to work.

Are you excited to try IUI? I'm so nervous. If HSG turns out clear then they wont have a real reason for my infertility besides age. They also want me on Clomid. I just want to get started already. These holidays (while I love them) make me more impatient.

Again thanks for reaching out to me. So much appreciated today.

 

[KatO79]

Welcome dojenstein :wave:

I know how you feel. It's so disappointing when AF shows up every month and you feel like you've done everything possible to increase your conception odds I've been through a chemical pregnancy during my 7th cycle (lost at around 4½ weeks)and am currently in the 2WW of my 17th cycle I also have normal hormone levels for a 35 year old and my DH is within the normal, albeit on the lower end. We'll be doing our 1st IUI next cycle as I expect AF to arrive around January 6th.

Hope you get good news with your HSG. It should be done after your bleeding has stopped but before you O so it should be normally on or before CD10 (although mine was done CD11 due to they were super busy). It might make you O earlier or later than normal though. I O'ed 1 day earlier than normal after mine Mine went well and wasn't painful, just unpleasant. But both my tubes were open and I've heard women with 1 or both tubes blocked find it more painful Best thing is to relax as it'll lessen the discomfort and maybe take a pain killer 1 hour before if you're afraid about any pain.

Know all about wanting it NOW I've been feeling like that the last 2-3 months I'm a housewife so it's kinda hard to distract myself since I don't have a job to help with that but I try to with my hobbies e.g. making my own earrings and bracelets. So maybe try and find a hobby you enjoy?

Kat. Thank you so much for writing to me. I'm feeling really lonely and sad and your story and support was exactly what I needed so thank you so much.

I'm learning a lot about HSG's (as my doc told me basically nothing). I'm hoping the holidays or my work schedule don't interfere with me going on the right day. This is a new job and I can't lose it. But I told them I have some "female issues" that I will need to take care of over the next three months and that I shouldn't be gone too much. I mean, I didn't say why but that's sort of true.

I also hear some women get BFPs the month of their HSG's. I assume that's for women who may have some slight blockage and get their tubes opened so increased chance of fertility.

If all goes well I should schedule my HSG for Friday Jan. 2nd, which is CD 10. I just hope I can get an early appt and still go to work.

Are you excited to try IUI? I'm so nervous. If HSG turns out clear then they wont have a real reason for my infertility besides age. They also want me on Clomid. I just want to get started already. These holidays (while I love them) make me more impatient.

Again thanks for reaching out to me. So much appreciated today.

Yes I've heard of many women who get their BFPs the same month or month after an HSG. Yes I'm sure if there was only a minor blockage that was removed and was the problem, that the HSG will help. It didn't help me the cycle I had it done but since it was done CD11 and made me O CD12, we didn't get much BDing in there so maybe that was part of the problem

I've found an explanation of the procedure here that sounds pretty good:

https://www.advancedfertility.com/hsg.htm

I will say I did experience some slight spotting afterwards so remember to bring a panty liner if you doctor doesn't think to give you one, just in case. You should be able to go to work afterwards, I didn't have any issues afterwards that would have made me unable to if I had a job.

Yes I'm counting the days until we can start I have much higher hopes that IUI will help us since it increases the amount of by 50-100x more than would naturally get up there. So increased chances of getting that eggy fertilized I'll be getting hormones myself but they always do that since it increases the chances of the IUI being successful

I think Clomid has been helpful for many women. My half-sister conceived #1 (a girl) at 36 without problems but tried for 2 years conceiving #2 and had no luck until her GP put her on Clomid at age 42. She conceived shortly after and has a cute little boy to show for it Here's hoping it works as well for you as it did for her, FXed

The holidays have been making me extra impatient as well. If it wasn't for them, I could've started my 1st IUI this cycle

No problem I might not be on much tomorrow though since I'll be at my in-laws' Christmas luncheon most of the day, just so you know. Hope you find a good way to distract yourself during your wait

 

[dojenstein]

Kat,

Thanks for that article on the procedure and your advice. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. I just wrote a 3 part journal on here about my journey and it was an eye opener just how much time, energy and money I've invested in this process. I just hope it's all worth it in the end.

My work just gave me the day off Friday so I won't have to worry about cramps or any of the residuals of the test while at work. I told them I had some "female troubles" that I needed to take care of. I obviously don't want to tell them that I'm trying for a baby. Not something my new employer needs to know.

So what else is going on?

 

[KatO79]

Kat,

Thanks for that article on the procedure and your advice. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. I just wrote a 3 part journal on here about my journey and it was an eye opener just how much time, energy and money I've invested in this process. I just hope it's all worth it in the end.

My work just gave me the day off Friday so I won't have to worry about cramps or any of the residuals of the test while at work. I told them I had some "female troubles" that I needed to take care of. I obviously don't want to tell them that I'm trying for a baby. Not something my new employer needs to know.

So what else is going on?

No problem

Good thing you got the day off. Nope can totally understand not saying you're trying for a baby, they probably wouldn't be too happy about that When you do get your BFP, you can always claim it wasn't planned so they can't get too mad at you Yeah it's crazy how much money can be spent on TTCing. I've been trying the more relaxed approach myself so no more OPKs or CBFM and I only use an HPT if I'm late (which has been like 2 times).

Nothing much. Trying to get time to go by faster with hobbies. My DH has been on vacation since Monday and won't be going back to work until around the 5th I think. So we're spending some quality time together and seeing movies and series together. We have so many series we're seeing it isn't funny, both the ones on TV and the ones we have on Blu Ray plus a couple we're naughty enough to download because it'd be way too expensive to buy those channels just for them It's pretty cold here right now so not much for many outdoor activities as I freeze more easily than he does

By the way,such cute kitties Are they yours? I have a little furbaby myself

 

[deafgal01]

dojen- hope the HSG or the IUI works for you.

I had HSG done but since I have a sperm factor issue, I couldn't get my bfp in the 2 cycles following it. I think the 3rd one after that, I could have but the IUI didn't succeed in a bfp. I found my experience with that fairly simple- a little uncomfortable during the procedure like cramping type but not too bad and after it was over, I didn't really spot or anything rest of day- but I've heard women be advised to put on a panty liner or pad or something in case they do spot after it.

 

[dojenstein]

Thanks for the support ladies.

Kat - I hear you on trying to spend quality time with your SO an not getting so fixated on TTC. It's so easy to get wrapped up in. My fiance and I have just starting The Wire on HBO on Demand. There's only so much football I can watch so it's nice that we have a show we can both watch. And yes, those are my fur babies. Sadly my tabby was put down about 6 months ago. He was 16 and had a very full life. And my b/w girly is still with me. She's a needy one so she's super cuddly. She actually kneads my belly when I have bad cramps...it's like she knows. What kind of cat do you have?

DG - Sorry about your sperm issue. If you don't mind me asking, are you still TTC? Are you seeing a specialist. I'm seeing an RE I call Dr. Frozen Turkey since he has the bedside manner of one. But he comes highly recommended. All the info I found out about my HSG I got through here on these forums. Frozen Turkey essentially handed me a packet and sent me on my way. Thank and bye. I did hear you're not supposed to have sex before it. I hadn't heard that before. Anyone know anything more about that?

 

[deafgal01]

I already saw a specialist in 2013. I tried 2 IUIs with that clinic (1 natural, 1 on medicated treatment) both of which didn't work. So 2014 was mostly waiting out the crazy hormone I was dealing with from one medicated cycle of IUI. Not sure if I'll try that again as I'd have to spend more money than I can afford so I'm considering trying home insemination at some point- possibly fall/winter 2015 if I can get everything figured out.

Sex before HSG? I don't know. I can't remember if the dr told me not to do it before that or not.

 

[KatO79]

Thanks for the support ladies.

Kat - I hear you on trying to spend quality time with your SO an not getting so fixated on TTC. It's so easy to get wrapped up in. My fiance and I have just starting The Wire on HBO on Demand. There's only so much football I can watch so it's nice that we have a show we can both watch. And yes, those are my fur babies. Sadly my tabby was put down about 6 months ago. He was 16 and had a very full life. And my b/w girly is still with me. She's a needy one so she's super cuddly. She actually kneads my belly when I have bad cramps...it's like she knows. What kind of cat do you have?

We've been watching: Game of Thrones (both), True Detective (DH's choice), Sleepy Hollow (my choice), Once Upon A Time (my choice), Orange is the New Black (DH's choice), The Sopranos (on Blu Ray, DH's choice), Nashville (both), Fargo (DH's choice), Reign (mine), Revenge (DH mostly), Hannibal (mostly me), Californication (DH) and we've also seen Weeds (DH), Mad Men (DH's choice), Breaking Bad (DH), Dexter (DH), Desperate Housewives (both), Six Feet Under (DH), The Tudors (both) and House (mine). I've heard of The Wire but never seen it, is it good?

Sorry to hear about your tabby, he was pretty Your Black & White girl is also really pretty and cute. I lost my blind Somali back in October 2012, she was 16 as well and had liver failure and needed to be put to sleep We'd only had her for about 5-6 years as her previous owner, a friend of DH's, couldn't have her anymore and no one else could take her. I still remember her calling us during our trip to paris and asking us. I told DH to call her back right away and say yes We got our current cat at the local cat shelter in January 2013, she's a small mixed breed, thinking she was a runt of the litter. I'm pretty sure she's some type of Forest Cat mix given her fur and personality. She was a little over 1 year old and is Blue & White and semi-longhaired. Her previous owner abused her and she was pretty hand shy at first. Our first encounter at the shelter was she bit us both but we took her anyway She seemed like she needed us. She's gotten better though and now barely bites us unless she's been overstimulted with being petted and we miss the signs. She follows me around and lies next to me on the sofa and lies at my feet in the bed. I hear from DH that she sometimes sleeps on my breast when I'm sleeping

 

[Britta C]

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been absent but the holidays have been crazy. I think that I'm honestly going to miss the distraction. I hope everyone is doing well.

Dojen- those are some adorable kitties. I'm so sorry to hear about your tabby. I had one that looked almost just like him when I was little. I have a bunch of fur-babies myself! Three little girl chihuahuas and 1 beautiful Siamese mix kitty that we adopted from the shelter a couple of years ago. He was abandoned by his family but is such a sweetheart.

Kat- how in the world do you have time for all those shows? Although i suppose I can't say much since dh and I are fanatics when it comes to our shows. I would list them all, but I'm not sure I want to see how long the list is!

Afm: wow some really weird stuff happened after my HSG! So HSG went beautifully then 3 days later at night I experience some of the most excruciating cramps of my life followed by a day of brown spotting. That continues Sunday and Monday. So that Monday I called my RE since I had to make a follow up a appt anyway and casually mentioned the spotting since I disn't want to come across as overreacting and they assured me it was normal. Well by Monday night I realize this is a full blown period! I literally had a 13 day cycle after taking the Provera and getting the HSG on CD 11 then had the worst period of my life. Boo!

But I figured since my next Re visit isn't until January 7, I might as well make this cycle count. My Gyno prescribed me a round of clomid before recommending me to an Re back in November and they never monitor me anyway so I went ahead and took it so that I would actually o this cycle.Today was O day confirmed by opks and the cramping bloated feeling I always get. So tomorrow officially starts my tww for the first cycle after my HSG.
DH and I have been BDing at all the right times and I think we're going to go tonight and tomorrow as well just to keep our bases covered.
I really would love it if we could make it happen this month without the iui!

 

[dojenstein]

Hi Britta! Yes, My tabby Maxi was a special guy. He was deaf soon after birth and had the worlds loudest meow. He was also aggressive but loved to spoon with me every night. Now my Callie is my fur baby. It's amazing how comforting they can be. I just feel good knowing I rescued her from a hard life on the street.

That's weird about your HSG. I'm actually going for mine on Friday. They say you have better chances of conceiving your first three cycles afterwards. I guess clearing the way for those egg and sperm to meet doesn't hurt. Sounds like you guys did all the right things. GL to you guys and keep us posted. The TWW can be a rough time to wait out.

 

[KatO79]

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been absent but the holidays have been crazy. I think that I'm honestly going to miss the distraction. I hope everyone is doing well.

Dojen- those are some adorable kitties. I'm so sorry to hear about your tabby. I had one that looked almost just like him when I was little. I have a bunch of fur-babies myself! Three little girl chihuahuas and 1 beautiful Siamese mix kitty that we adopted from the shelter a couple of years ago. He was abandoned by his family but is such a sweetheart.

Kat- how in the world do you have time for all those shows? Although i suppose I can't say much since dh and I are fanatics when it comes to our shows. I would list them all, but I'm not sure I want to see how long the list is!

Afm: wow some really weird stuff happened after my HSG! So HSG went beautifully then 3 days later at night I experience some of the most excruciating cramps of my life followed by a day of brown spotting. That continues Sunday and Monday. So that Monday I called my RE since I had to make a follow up a appt anyway and casually mentioned the spotting since I disn't want to come across as overreacting and they assured me it was normal. Well by Monday night I realize this is a full blown period! I literally had a 13 day cycle after taking the Provera and getting the HSG on CD 11 then had the worst period of my life. Boo!

But I figured since my next Re visit isn't until January 7, I might as well make this cycle count. My Gyno prescribed me a round of clomid before recommending me to an Re back in November and they never monitor me anyway so I went ahead and took it so that I would actually o this cycle.Today was O day confirmed by opks and the cramping bloated feeling I always get. So tomorrow officially starts my tww for the first cycle after my HSG.
DH and I have been BDing at all the right times and I think we're going to go tonight and tomorrow as well just to keep our bases covered.
I really would love it if we could make it happen this month without the iui!

Well the ones I've listed as "seen" are ones we've seen in the past few years and are finished with seeing as there are no more episodes So we're down to 12 (the 1st 12 listed) although some of them we started seeing fairly recently. Some of these shows are on hiatus until after New Year's, like Sleepy Hollow. There's also one of them we only see with a friend of ours so we see maybe 3-4 episodes every 2-3 weeks, maks. Please do list some of them at least as you've peaked my curiosity, are you seeing any of the same as us

Here's hoping The cycle I had my HSG done was unsuccessful as well for me but it made me O 1 day earlier (so Oed on CD12 instead of my regular CD13, HSG done on the morning of CD11) so that was perhaps part of the problem I guess having an HSG on CD11 or after that seems to mess with things. This is my 1st cycle after the HSG but I'm not so hopeful for some reason, partially due to lack of symptoms I guess 16 failed cycles will do that to you

We're set for IUI next cycle (cycle #18), are you also set for your next cycle or have I missed you already saying that

 

[dojenstein]

Oooh I hope I don't O early this cycle. But I really don't want to put off the HSG so I guess we'll see what happens. I didn't start IUI my fertility doc, Dr. Frozen Turkey, didn't give me any timeframe but it was "all in the packet" he handed me. Me and my fiance did all the tests so I assume after the HSG is done next cycle he'll put me on Clomid and then do the IUI. So I expect I'll be doing it around Jan. 22nd. Ugh, that seems so far away.

 

[KatO79]

Oooh I hope I don't O early this cycle. But I really don't want to put off the HSG so I guess we'll see what happens. I didn't start IUI my fertility doc, Dr. Frozen Turkey, didn't give me any timeframe but it was "all in the packet" he handed me. Me and my fiance did all the tests so I assume after the HSG is done next cycle he'll put me on Clomid and then do the IUI. So I expect I'll be doing it around Jan. 22nd. Ugh, that seems so far away.

I think it varies, some O earlier than normal and some O later after an HSG. I would've rather Oed later than normal than O earlier I would think if you've gotten all tests done and just need the HSG, then he can start you on IUI the cycle after the cycle you get your HSG done. That is if he's going to put you on hormones. I'll be given hormones myself to increase the chances of a BFP

 

[tinadecember]

Hi ladies, I haven't ventured into the long term TTC forum before because I wasn't sure what is classed as "long term" but after 17 cycles I think I'm just about ready to find support on this journey from other ladies going through the same struggles, here's my story...

I'm Tina (27) been with my hubby mark (32) for 8 wonderful years, we have a daughter who is 4 who we conceived on our first cycle of officially trying

Last July we got married and decided that we would try straight away for baby number 2, I definitely expected to be pregnant by Christmas time but Christmas passed and still no BFP. 8 months into our journey and I expressed my concerns to my hubby that something could be preventing us from getting pregnant. We made an appointment with our GP who was wonderful and set up some routine tests

I had blood work taken which confirmed that I ovulate naturally and with good progesterone levels. Mark had SA tests which confirmed our worst fears, his sperm count and motility were both lower than average. We were recommended to take zinc and vitamin c capsules and return in 12 weeks time for more tests. 12 weeks passed and the results came back more or less the same

Our consultant decided the next step was to put mark on a 3 month course of a drug called tamoxifen, this is also a drug which is given to breast cancer patients but our consultant seemed pretty optimistic that we would see results by the end of the 3 months.

At this point we were 14 months into our journey of TTC baby 2, it was taking it's toll on us both emotionally.. Mark more so who had got it into his mind that we will never have another child and it is all his fault

At the end of the 3 months he went for more SA tests which came back a little more positive! The motility had increased to the "lowest average" level but the count had dropped slightly. So we had less swimmers but those that were present were moving quicker than before woohoo!!

The consultant suggested that we try clomid as a last resort... I'm now on 50mg for 4 cycles currently on cycle 2 and at about 6DPO, no symptoms to report apart from sore nipples but I had this last cycle. I think it's a side effect from the clomid

This is our last shot before we take the plunge and find the money for IVF. Unfortunately because we already have a child we've been told that we wouldn't get any help with funding from the NHS which I find disgusting. Just because I already have a child should I be punished for wanting my child to have a sibling? If there's a medically proven problem, children or not then in my opinion help should be given. What do we pay our taxes for after all??

So that's me girls and a little insight into my journey

Xx

 

[deafgal01]

Tina -have your husband tried a vitamin specifically to boost his testerone/swimmers? This type of stuff didn't help my husband as we couldn't get him to produce any. I can't remember the name but it has the word boost in it somewhere.

Welcome to our group, Tina. You certainly count as a ltttc. I hope you get your bfp soon though.

 

[DBZ34]

Welcome Tina!

Has your hubby tried taking Omega-3? My DH's SA came back as normal, but his motility and morphology were on the low side. When he went in for a follow-up, the doctor suggested that he take Omega-3 for better sperm production/better quality sperm. When we went in for our IUI, his SA was much better. So it's worth a shot...you never know.

Good luck with TTC, Tina. I know that TTC#2 can be just as hard as TTC #1. The journey and heartache of LTTTC is the same, even if you have a little one at home to love.

I suppose the NHS is just focusing on the people without kids because if they don't, where would they draw the line for funding? People with two kids? Three? I guess they look at it as you don't have a "problem" conceiving because you've done it before, even though secondary infertility is an issue that a lot of couples have...plus your DH doesn't have azoospermia, so there is a chance you two will have success naturally.

Truthfully though, I don't think there's anything wrong with prioritizing women who don't have children at home...I'm all for helping those who are a worse off first and then working on the next group. Maybe if the NHS had like a 'you have to go this long without conceiving a second child and then you can have funding' policy, that would be more fair...

Anyway, good luck this cycle! Maybe you won't even have to worry about it at all.

 

[tinadecember]

Hi girls,

Deafgal - yes we tried motilityboost and the other one which I can't remember the name of now! They cost a small fortune and didn't make a difference!

DBZ34 - no we haven't tried omega 3, that could be something to think about. Yeah I agree with you that of course focus has to be on couples who don't have children but £5000 is a lot of money for one shot at it, even if partial funding was an option it would be a great help.

Xx