LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[adidrea]

KatO79 - I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I agree with you that it's best to just stay away at that point. Hopefully this forum is helping a little bit!

Good idea to find a quiet place to let it out of my system! I'll just "work late" that day in case of bad news. I think I'll feel much better if I don't have to hold it in in front of them. Then I can move on and enjoy their company

Good luck with your IUI! 1 follicle is great, the other ones might even catch up by then! Even better that it's on your wedding anniversary, I really hope this is the month for you!!

 

[KatO79]

KatO79 - I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I agree with you that it's best to just stay away at that point. Hopefully this forum is helping a little bit!

Good idea to find a quiet place to let it out of my system! I'll just "work late" that day in case of bad news. I think I'll feel much better if I don't have to hold it in in front of them. Then I can move on and enjoy their company

Good luck with your IUI! 1 follicle is great, the other ones might even catch up by then! Even better that it's on your wedding anniversary, I really hope this is the month for you!!

Thanks adidrea, it really does help but it's still sad I don't have anyone in my life to talk to about it. No one cares enough to talk to me about it, at least no one that can somewhat empathize and not say crap. My narcissistic brother has never even bothered to send me a message voicing his support (only his enabler wife) and his only contact with me about it was when he went after me and insulted me with nasty comments on FB back in January regarding me posting an article on how the "just relax" saying is a myth

I hope it helps and you've already got a spot picked out

Thanks, I was hoping for 1-2 more follies to up the odds a tad but we'll see Taking my Ovitrelle injection tonight at 11 PM

BTW the nurse decided I shouldn't take a Puregon shot tonight (preferably a bit earlier than my usual time) like we've done the other 4 times on trigger day so we'll see if it makes a difference

 

[adidrea]

Hi Kat, our RE office has support groups that they offer. Does yours have something similar? It's not quite as good as having friends to talk things over with but it could be an opportunity to make new friends.

 

[KatO79]

Hi Kat, our RE office has support groups that they offer. Does yours have something similar? It's not quite as good as having friends to talk things over with but it could be an opportunity to make new friends.

Unfortunately, I don't think they're that big on support groups in Denmark, especially when it comes to infertility. I did find one over the internet but you have to pay about $45/month to be able to attend those support meetings and with me being a housewife and DH unemployed/job hunting, we don't have the extra cash at the moment. There's nothing free available in this country as far as I can tell. So not an option

 

[adidrea]

Aww sorry to hear that... Hang in there, hopefully your family and friends will be there for you when you get your BFP!

 

[Stine]

To all the new ladies- Hello and welcome!! Hope this board helps you as it has helped me.

AFM- Hello ladies! Sorry I have been MIA for a while. After my beta came back BFN I was so upset and annoyed. AF didn't show till literally a week after stopping the progesterone. Last cycle it showed 48hrs after. I was so sure the tests were wrong! I needed some me time and lots of beer/wine
I am now on CD 7 and just finished my last pills of Femara. The RE wanted me to stay on 5mg since I had two really good follies last month. I am going to ask him at my ultrasound (6/3) what my options are if #3 doesn't work. Normally by now I can feel the twinges and I know the eggs are growing but I haven't had any of that I am concerned this cycle will be like my first with a restart mid cycle. DH is/has remained very hopeful that one of the IUI's will work. He keeps saying "this is like what a 'normal' couple first trying deals with. Give it a chance". He figures since that past 4 years all our trying was basically nothing because nothing was getting past my cervix, that this is like a healthy couple trying with the same chances. I love his excitement and optimism but the whole thing every month always has me questioning "what more?!"

 

[KatO79]

Thanks adidrea, they probably will but I could be using their support now I still have doubts my narcissistic brother and sister will be there much for me afterwards as they've been super uncommunicative the last 5 months, probably because they think I'm being dramatic and a pain when I talk about my journey. My brother has actually not been answering my emails for many, many months and after he was an absolute jerk on FB, I stopped writing to him. My sister I stopped after she was snarky and passive-aggressive about me liking one of her FB posts, despite the fact she is super rarely actively liking my stuff so yeah..... Good thing I'll always have DH's family, they're super great and without all the aggressive and passive-aggressive stuff my family doles out when they get the chance.

Awww Stine, I've been there myself 2 follies is also a good number, my clinic seems to strive for me having 2 as well (although the max is 3). If Femara isn't doing it, they might advise you to go on injectables (e.g. Gonal F, Puregon) and try 3-4 cycles of that. Your DH is right in that respect, that it's like those first few months of trying for a "normal" fertile couple since your chances are 15-20%. I've heard of women getting BFPs on up to the 6th or 7th IUI so it can still happen! DH's parents very recently talked to a couple that got their BFP on IUI #6 and it was the last one before they were planning on moving on to IVF.

I think it's easier for men to remain more optimistic, my DH is very much the same way. My theory is it's because it's not happening to his body. He's not going through the 2WW noticing symptoms and then seeing the red of AF signalling yet another cycle without that BFP. He's also not the one going through U/Ss, daily injections and the actual IUI. I think it makes them more removed emotionally from it in many ways so it doesn't make as much impact on them as it does on us women. I think your DH is probably just trying to cheer you up and help keep you optimistic and positive through all this, like mine is doing. They truely mean well and it's sweet but it can be a bit trying some days

I hope you have some great follies in there that'll be ready soon


IUI UPDATE: So the IUI went well and I had 2 follies with a potential for a 3rd if I understood him correctly The fun thing was it wasn't one of the 3 nurses I'm used to, it was the one male RE they have that did it. So here's hoping it makes a difference The only thing he did weird was he didn't tip me a bit so my head was a bit down but you don't dare say anything, especially when it's an RE doing it

DH's count was it's highest: at 50 million

 

[adidrea]

Stine - I'm sorry that AF showed her ugly head That happened to me on the cycle before we decided to seek help. AF didn't show until like 41 days and that NEVER happens. I was so sure I was pregnant. Beta came back negative as well but I was in denial because there was no sign of AF. Ughhh...that was the worst month for her to show up so I completely support your beer and wine usage hahaha. After AF came that month I'd had enough and we finally went to see a RE and now we're doing a few rounds of IUI.

Your DH is very optimistic, that's good! At least you know the sperm is getting in now. You have some great follicles, I think it will happen for you very soon!!


Kat- 2-3 follicles, that's great!!! And a great count from DH! Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

 

[KatO79]

Kat- 2-3 follicles, that's great!!! And a great count from DH! Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

Yep, the RE was also impressed as he considers a count of 30 million already very good. I'll know around June 14th-15th if it works. Thanks

 

[CocoMia]

Hello everyone, I hope I'm ok to join you here!

I've tried to catch up as best I can but once I work out how to do a signature I'll add my history/ facts at the bottom.

Long and short of it is my husband and I have known there were issues since we were 'not careful' teenagers then got to our late 20's without any accidents and in a absolute panic that we were so blasé!

I have hypothyroidism, PCOS and am only occasionally ovulating and he has v poor morphology. We are just getting our options from the specialist but as hubs had mumps they said he might need surgery before they do anything further.

I've posted elsewhere on BnB but after a week away and bombardment from a pregnant best friend I feel so low, so heartbroken and so so angry I am not in the best place at all.

I may not have any answers for anyone as I know all out situations are different but I am certainly here to offer an ear!

Wish you all the best for what you're all going through and nice to meet you,

Mia x

 

[wannabemummyb]

Hi Mia,

Welcome!

I have PCOS and hypothyroidism too!

It's a great bunch of ladies here at varying points in their journey xx

 

[CocoMia]

Thanks wannabe!

Are you on treatment for your thyroid? Does it affect your cycles or temperature at all? It's something they've linked with my lack of ovulation but I'm not sure the tablets are doing anything at all wishful thinking again I suppose.

I can't underestimate how good it is to offload with others who understand the roller coaster of emotions. The slightest thing will set me off and sometimes I feel like my head might explode - not exactly the mood that makes you want to dtd so it's a vicious circle!

X

 

[adidrea]

Welcome Mia! Glad you're here!

 

[Purpleice]

Hello all, how are you guys doing? Went for a scan yesterday (CD9) and it showed 3 follicles ready to pop (2.02 cm, 1.78cm and 1.27cm). But all of them are on the right side, so we cancelled the treatment for this cycle.

Hi Mia, welcome! I have a sister in law who's pregnant and she's younger than me. I also felt bad about it and I know it's selfish of me, but then, she's not married and she's "accidentally" pregnant. I felt like, why is life is so unfair? Thankfully I got over it. Hope you feel fine now about the pregnancies around you.

Baby dust to all!

 

[KatO79]

Hello everyone, I hope I'm ok to join you here!

I've tried to catch up as best I can but once I work out how to do a signature I'll add my history/ facts at the bottom.

Hi Mia :wave:

You just go into "User CP" (CP = Control Panel) which you'll find at the top left next to "Forum Jump." Then under "Settings & Options" on the left side, you click on "Edit Signature" and you're good to go.


Awww Purpleice, I'm so sorry Hopefully you'll have follies on your left side next time. I tend to switch sides each month so hopefully that'll happen for you as well.

Due to my age (36), I am luckily not bombarded with pregnant women around me in either my circle of friends and family. About 95% of our friends that want kids have them (the 95% don't associate with us since we don't have kids) and no one in DH's family is planning on having kids any time soon. His eldest brother has 2 kids ages 9 and soon 7 and he's recently divorced and the younger brother is not emotionally ready even though he's 33 but acts and parties like a 23 year old, despite the fact he has a live-in girlfriend

 

[wannabemummyb]

Thanks wannabe!

Are you on treatment for your thyroid? Does it affect your cycles or temperature at all? It's something they've linked with my lack of ovulation but I'm not sure the tablets are doing anything at all wishful thinking again I suppose.

I can't underestimate how good it is to offload with others who understand the roller coaster of emotions. The slightest thing will set me off and sometimes I feel like my head might explode - not exactly the mood that makes you want to dtd so it's a vicious circle!

X

Yep I am on Levothyroxine and also metformin for PCOS/IR. I've started using CBFM - not had a peak yet but opks have suggested I ovulate (not every month)

I've only been on the thyroid meds for a couple of months but not seeing much difference - still exhausted ALL the time etc x

 

[CocoMia]

Thanks Kat, purpleice and wannabe!

Wannabe - I haven't really seen a difference either and it's so frustrating as a little part if me hoped it's be a miracle worker.

I'd been really interested to know if the CBFM works as I've been really struggling to get a result from OPKs. Only the Clear Blue ones have shown a true positive and that's happened twice in about a year

I was given a suggested diet to follow (low GI) but again I'm not sure it's doing anything at all? My temperatures are also so low I just can't see how my body will ovulate - the tablets were meant to improve that too but averaging 36.4c everyday
Seems too low to be functioning.

I know what you mean about the tiredness; it's awful and I hate feeling like I'm moaning about everything!

Wishing you all the best

Mia x

 

[Stine]

First off- Hello and Welcome Mia. You will fit in just fine here

Purple- I hope you left one gets it together for your next cycle. Have you discussed other options?

AFM- Got bad news today during my scan. Like I knew it would be, the eggs haven't been growing. I have to go back Friday to be rechecked and hope for the IUI on Saturday or Sunday. There are SO MANY in there. Honestly more then we both cared to count. Only 2 seemed like they might grow to maturity. FX they do.

Now for the bad news...... The RE said "I am highly concerned you are not pregnant yet" "You should have got pregnant by now and the fact that you haven't has me worried you might not". I had a laparoscopy 10 yrs ago for infertility which went really bad. I ended up in renal failure and had to have emergency surgery in which I lost over 70% of my bladder. I had a sever infection that spread to my bladder, kidney’s and all my reproductive organs. I was told that I might not ever be able to have children at that point. BUT over the years the Dr’s have still tried because medically everything looks normal and is perfect. So, in the Dr's eyes I showed no cause as to not be able to conceive. YET, here I am today finally hearing those words that this just might never happen for me.

If this doesn't work I will begin injectables next month for the next 2 cycles. IF those do not work then I will do IVF. He doesn't want to do the 6 cycles then IVF like we planned. We are doing 5 then IVF. He thinks IVF will work but unfortunately you have to do the steps before you can do IVF, as most you know. He thinks I have to much scare tissue that is getting in the way of things meeting up and the only way to know would be ANOTHER surgery but since I have had so many he is against doing one. I truly feel like I have lost all hope. I am doing my best to take it one day at a time and I am praying very hard for a miracle.

Sorry for such a long post. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you ladies so much for listening.

 

[teachercv]

Hi guys! Sorry I've been MIA - it's been a pretty crappy week - lost my job and my sister got diagnosed with thyroid cancer and since thyroid issues run in the family, I've been rushing around trying to get mine tested before my insurance runs out!
So far I am still waiting on ovulation which should be here any day I hope! How are you ladies doing?

Gosh, really does sound like a horrendous week. Let's hope you ov and this is your cycle.

Hope your ok and you and your family cope with your sisters illness xx

Unfortunately, I just found out I also have thyroid cancer and will have to have surgery next month to remove it. I'm hoping that maybe this is the reason we have been having difficulty ttc.

 

[adidrea]

teachercv - I am so sorry to hear about your and your sister's diagnosis! What horrible news to get...sending you lots of thoughts and prayers! Did you catch it early enough that it can be treated with the surgery?

Stine - I hope that your follies grow a lot and that you're able to get your IUI this week! And sorry to hear about your bad news...that sounds like a rough thing to go through. I'm glad that injectibles and IVF are available to you and covered by insurance! Don't lose hope hun I know it's taking a long time but you'll appreciate your little miracle that much more when he/she does arrive!

CocoMia- My RE also recommends a low GI diet full of whole foods. I generally eat healthy but I eat way too many grains...I think I'll start listening to their recommendations though.


I just got my beta test back today - BFN. So I'm a little down...this was our first cycle of IUI and all the tests came back normal and DH had a count of ~140 million which the RE was happy about. So my hopes were pretty high, I mean 1 egg vs. 140 million sperm, SOMETHING has to happen...but nope They can't figure out why we're not getting pregnant. I know some of you ladies have been through many more cycles than me but I think there are certain emotions that come with a first failed "cycle with medical help"... I'm trying to stay optimistic and brush it off but realistically I just feel really sad that another month has passed by.

Ugh.