LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[MitzyW]

Hi everyone!

I'm new to this forum but feel the pain and frustration of each and every one of you. I have dreamed of having a child since I was one myself and at the age of 32 am yet to fall pregnant.

We've been trying for 18 months now and I am currently on the first month of taking Clomid and Metformin together. Currently 3 days late on my period and am having hot flashes but that's about it. No other symptoms. Oh, and I've done 2 pregnancy tests now and both have been negative. Feeling a bit down today and needing some encouragement and wise words!

Wishing you all lots of luck and sending support

xo

 

[Stine]

AF is MIA and the nausea is kicking up. Had my beta and had them stat it. I'll know soon.

Stine!! That's so exciting. Are you going to get back on the progesterone?

BFN- I guess the progesterone is pretty high. I'll just have to wait it out. Ugh.

 

[beneathmywing]

Im sorry, Stine

 

[Stine]

Hi everyone!

I'm new to this forum but feel the pain and frustration of each and every one of you. I have dreamed of having a child since I was one myself and at the age of 32 am yet to fall pregnant.

We've been trying for 18 months now and I am currently on the first month of taking Clomid and Metformin together. Currently 3 days late on my period and am having hot flashes but that's about it. No other symptoms. Oh, and I've done 2 pregnancy tests now and both have been negative. Feeling a bit down today and needing some encouragement and wise words!

Wishing you all lots of luck and sending support

xo

Welcome. Sorry you are here. This is a great group of ladies and they are very supportive. I too am late and both my hpt and beta said BFN. It's frustrating and very emotional. Please keep the hope. It will go up and down but in the end you need it. I wish you luck during your journey!!

 

[Myshelsong]

So sorry Stine. Big hugs to you, I feel your pain.
Hopefully af will be just around the corner and the wait will be over. Sorry this month didn't work out for you.

 

[LornaMJ]

Not been on BnB for some time. But as always I like to pop on by and give a little update. For all you newbies as of this year it has been 12 years since we started teh journey of trying for a family. In that time we have had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, a blighted ovum at 8 weeks for which I had a DNC and then an Ectopic at 5.5 weeks and I lost a tube. We then went on to have 2 very unsuccessful rounds of IVF. However we gave it one more shot and then we were to call it quits. Well here I am 37 weeks pregnant just waiting to hold my baby boy in my arms. Good things come to those who wait and I so hope I serve as some inspiration to you all that it can happen xx

 

[wannabemummyb]

Sorry Stine

 

[teachercv]

Hi guys! Sorry I've been MIA - it's been a pretty crappy week - lost my job and my sister got diagnosed with thyroid cancer and since thyroid issues run in the family, I've been rushing around trying to get mine tested before my insurance runs out!
So far I am still waiting on ovulation which should be here any day I hope! How are you ladies doing?

 

[wannabemummyb]

Hi guys! Sorry I've been MIA - it's been a pretty crappy week - lost my job and my sister got diagnosed with thyroid cancer and since thyroid issues run in the family, I've been rushing around trying to get mine tested before my insurance runs out!
So far I am still waiting on ovulation which should be here any day I hope! How are you ladies doing?

Gosh, really does sound like a horrendous week. Let's hope you ov and this is your cycle.

Hope your ok and you and your family cope with your sisters illness xx

 

[adidrea]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this thread (and babyandbump in general) but I can relate very closely to what you're all going through. So here's my story:

Got married in Sept 2012 to an amazing man and my best friend. I was almost immediately ready to be a mom but due to school/work/travel/etc he suggested we wait for the "perfect" month assuming that I'd get pregnant quickly because I was never on any hormonal birth control and had my period regularly. So even though I was ready we waited it out for about a year and a half. March 2014 was the "IT" month and we started trying. That didn't work so I started charting my bbt and became super aware of my CM. I slowly implemented other things as the months of BFNs passed by including OPKs, prenatal vitamins, herbal supplements, joined a gym, pineapple trick (haha...you get the idea). Still just a lot of BFNs!!

Last cycle (April) my AF was 10 days late (which never happens) and I got my hopes up that maybe this was FINALLY the month. HPTs showed BFN, but since AF wasn't coming I got a BPT done and received the phone call - BFN!!! I was crushed...I let myself get excited an hopeful and that made it so much harder

So I talked DH into seeing a fertility specialist and he agreed, as it has now been like 14 months since we started TTC. We did a round of tests including SA, preconception blood work, and baseline hormone tests. We wanted to go ahead with a cycle of IUI. I started Femara on CD 3-7, ultrasounds on CD 3, 9 and 12 (had one 18.5mm follicle, and a couple of 15s), hCG trigger shot on day 14, IUI the next day, and progesterone injections for the rest of the cycle. We also did blood work throughout and everything looked fine on all of the tests. DH had awesome count and mobility, and I'm hoping that the 15mm follicles caught up by the time I used the trigger shot. So now I'm 3 dpIUI starting the progesterone shots and trying not to go crazy in anticipation!

I found this forum while I was doing my usual marathon googling during 2WW. Does anyone else do this?? Hahaha And that's how I ran across this thread! I read a lot of the stories and I'm sorry that you all have to be here. I never thought that making a baby would be one of the hardest and most emotionally draining things I've ever done. I only ever heard the success stories and pregnancy announcements because infertility is such a private issue. So I just assumed it would happen quickly, naturally...happily.

We haven't told any of our family or friends so we of course still get questions like "when are you having babies???". Turning into a baby-question-dodging-pro I think, haha...but this whole experience is very isolating. Have any of you told your mom/best friend/sibling about TTC issues- and how did it go??

So that's where we're at in a nutshell. Here's a TON of baby dust for you all in hopes that your little miracles come soon

 

[DBZ34]

Both sets of parents know about our troubles (and my aunts..probably one of my uncles...some random people my mom knows and who knows who else because my mom can't keep her mouth shut ).

My in-laws know because we decided to tell them when we were starting to TTC. It was a joyous occasion, both me and my MIL cried. Then two years later, still no happy phone call announcing we were pregnant and my MIL decided to ask. That was uncomfortable, mostly because I felt like it wasn't her place to force the issue. We were going to tell them, but when we were ready. Her asking (over email in a very blunt way) did make me feel very defensive and angry, but once we started talking about it all, I felt less upset. The in-laws have been very supportive though. They've offered money if we need it and haven't pressed for details after our initial conversation. We tell them about what's going on over email or skype and it seems to work for us. MIL also sends me articles on infertility that always seem to arrive right when AF shows up....but she means well and is trying her best to support us in anyway she can because she wants more grandbabies.

My mom, because she's a nut, talks about my fertility to all sorts of other people. She met a few women who have done IUIs and presses them for information when she sees them and then comes back to me with questions to see if I've gone through the same thing. She got annoyed with me once because I didn't tell her I was using progesterone and hadn't describe how that went (my response was along the lines of "I didn't know you wanted me to tell you about what comes out of my vaj", to which she replied "Of course I do!"..I've ignored this).

But my mom is super-supportive. I forget what prompted the talk, but I brought up the fact that we were struggling and then I had to tell her about my mc's, which made her upset because I hadn't told her I was pregnant and then I didn't tell her I had lost the pregnancies. But, finally telling her after 3 years of holding it all in was kind of a relief. Now, I talk with her when I'm having a hard time with it all. She usually prays for me and gives me pep talks about God's timing. She can't exactly relate because she hasn't had fertility issues, but I think that's where the talking to these other ladies comes in.

The nice thing about sharing is that it has stopped the "when are you having children?" thing. No one asks anymore...probably because my mom has told all of my business.

I tried to talk to my bestie about it. She knows were having trouble, but she can't relate at all and says things like "Just relax and it will happen"....and I felt the rage building up. But I know she means well, so I've told her never to say that to me again. She hasn't tried at all, so she doesn't really know what it's like, so I suppose I can't blame her. I haven't brought it up again though.

It is an isolating process though. BnB helps immensely though. There are so many women who have been through what I've been through that I can talk to and get information from. It's really nice...So welcome, adidrea!

 

[wannabemummyb]

Welcome adidrea. We also got married September 2012, although we started trying a couple of years before we got married.

DBZ34, that's great you have supportive family. My MIL is convinced I'm never going to be able to give her darling boy a child (in her eyes the issue must solely be me as he has a child from a previous marriage) so she tells everyone that we won't be able to have kids. She only knows about our issues as DH told her when we had our miscarriage 2 years ago.

My mum doesn't know much but we aren't close.

My best friend understands to some degree, she was TTC for two years and recently had a mc at 17 weeks.

 

[Purpleice]

Thanks DBZ34 for the info!

Im on my CD2, taking femara until CD6. Hoping for dominant folicle on my left.

Hello Adidrea! I was TTC a month before getting married, which was on March 2014. I thought I was ok, I regularly have my period, no problem at all with my cycles. DH has great SA results. We just kept trying for a year. Then this March I found out I have a blocked right tube. And I ovulate on my right. Everyone in my side of the family knows and they've been very supportive.

I totally agree with DBZ re the "relax, it will happen" line that people tend to say whenever we're asked why no babies yet. Sometimes I have urges to whack their heads!

 

[Purpleice]

Welcome adidrea. We also got married September 2012, although we started trying a couple of years before we got married.

DBZ34, that's great you have supportive family. My MIL is convinced I'm never going to be able to give her darling boy a child (in her eyes the issue must solely be me as he has a child from a previous marriage) so she tells everyone that we won't be able to have kids. She only knows about our issues as DH told her when we had our miscarriage 2 years ago.

My mum doesn't know much but we aren't close.

My best friend understands to some degree, she was TTC for two years and recently had a mc at 17 weeks.

I am so sorry about your MIL. She sounds horrible! I'm kind of scared that I will be hearing what your MIL said to you in a few months time. DH also has a child from previous relationship.

I'm thankful we can spill all our issues here on the thread. I guess some people who does not experience what we're going through will never fully understand.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Welcome adidrea. We also got married September 2012, although we started trying a couple of years before we got married.

DBZ34, that's great you have supportive family. My MIL is convinced I'm never going to be able to give her darling boy a child (in her eyes the issue must solely be me as he has a child from a previous marriage) so she tells everyone that we won't be able to have kids. She only knows about our issues as DH told her when we had our miscarriage 2 years ago.

My mum doesn't know much but we aren't close.

My best friend understands to some degree, she was TTC for two years and recently had a mc at 17 weeks.

I am so sorry about your MIL. She sounds horrible! I'm kind of scared that I will be hearing what your MIL said to you in a few months time. DH also has a child from previous relationship.

I'm thankful we can spill all our issues here on the thread. I guess some people who does not experience what we're going through will never fully understand.

Absolutely agree, it's so hard talking to people who don't get it.

 

[KatO79]

Welcome adidrea

I told pretty much everyone back in October 2013 when we started TTCing. Now that we have issues, my Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) mother just keeps shoving it in my face how easily she had her 6 kids. My MIL would give me the "just relax" line but has stopped as DH told her not to say it anymore (she got pregnant with her 3 sons easily). My almost equally NPD big brother is totally unsupportive and doesn't want to talk about it, ditto for my sister (didn't grow up with her as she grew up with her father). This despite the fact my Brother went through it for 5 years before having their daughter. One of my few friends knows but she doesn't get it and tried telling me to "think positive" a few months back so don't talk to her anymore about it. Our friends with kids have abandoned us so they have no clue except this one couple. But despite the fact the husband of this couple has a sister that went through IVF to have her baby, he shows no understanding and told us "Trying is the fun part!" So we don't have anyone to talk to about all this, just each other I also of course have the ladies here but it would've been nice to find someone supportive in my circle of friends and relatives. But nope, no one gets it or cares to.

 

[adidrea]

Thank you all for the warm welcome!


DBZ34 - It sounds like you have a pretty good and supportive network (aside from a few people who can't relate). Our moms are the exact same! My whole extended family would know if I told her...Love her to death but she can't keep secrets (I grew up knowing exactly what I was getting for christmas every year, bahaha). I've been putting off telling my parents and in-laws because I had this whole story in my head about how I would break the happy news. I don't want the first baby-related thing we tell them to be negative. It would be the first grandchild for both sides. If it takes longer than 2 years I think we will though... at least so they stop asking.

I also want to slap the people who tell me to "just relax". DH does it sometimes, but I think he's getting the hint!

wannabemummyb - Wohoo wedding month buddies! Sorry to hear about your friend though, and your MIL. She just jumped to conclusions and is telling everyone??

Purpleice - Awesome, we started TTC the same month! March 2014! I'm sorry to hear about your right tube...is there anything they can do to open it up? We also have normal test results and DH has a good SA, but I canceled my HSG/SHG this month because it was our first month at RE and the diagnostic tests and IUI all together were getting to be a bit overwhelming. If we're not successful this month I think I'll get my tubes checked too. YAY for the awesome supportive network you have though!!

KatO79 - Awww I'm sorry that your family and friends are not very supportive. Have you tried to tell your mom that her comments are completely unhelpful? Maybe she just needs a good it's-not-all-about-you talk




We're a week past our IUI so I'm basically just waiting.

I also found out that the in-laws are coming to visit on the same exact day that I take my beta test at the doc (June 3rd) and they're staying at our house for 2 weeks. We only see them about once a year because they live really far away so I'm excited to see them. However, we haven't told them anything so I'm worried about not having my day or two to sort of recover if I get a BFN. It usually requires lots of wine, haha... I'm basically an open book and probably won't be able to hide my joy/disappointment when we find out...So they'll find out something. Not sure how I feel about this. Either way it will be good to have some family around! We live thousands of miles from everyone so it's good to reconnect.

How are you ladies doing? I hope your holiday weekend was good!

 

[KatO79]

KatO79 - Awww I'm sorry that your family and friends are not very supportive. Have you tried to tell your mom that her comments are completely unhelpful? Maybe she just needs a good it's-not-all-about-you talk

Thanks adidrea! Unfortunately, since my mother has NPD, she doesn't respect boundaries and says and does whatever she pleases, no matter how it affects me. People with NPD don't have empathy and believe they are always right. Plus they also enjoy hurting people and feeding emotionally off of their pain. So it'd be a waste of time since she won't respect it anyway. I just spend as little time with her as possible as she's been emotionally and mentally abusive all my life.

We're a week past our IUI so I'm basically just waiting.

I also found out that the in-laws are coming to visit on the same exact day that I take my beta test at the doc (June 3rd) and they're staying at our house for 2 weeks. We only see them about once a year because they live really far away so I'm excited to see them. However, we haven't told them anything so I'm worried about not having my day or two to sort of recover if I get a BFN. It usually requires lots of wine, haha... I'm basically an open book and probably won't be able to hide my joy/disappointment when we find out...So they'll find out something. Not sure how I feel about this. Either way it will be good to have some family around! We live thousands of miles from everyone so it's good to reconnect.

Hmmm if it's a BFN, would it be possible for you to go somewhere else to get the most of your crying over with so you can better handle faking it in front of the in-laws? Maybe worst case sit in the car and mourn? Is there a possibility that the beta could be done the day before so you have a day to process your feelings before they come?

I hope it comes out positive so you'll only have joy to hide

 

[KatO79]

So it went well and I have at least 1 follie ready to pop Had a few smaller ones but not sure how many of them will mature in time and didn't ask the nurse. My IUI will be on Saturday morning so on our 6th wedding anniversary

Here's hoping it's lucky #5

 

[wannabemummyb]

Have everything crossed for you Kat x