LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[KatO79]

AFM- Got bad news today during my scan. Like I knew it would be, the eggs haven't been growing. I have to go back Friday to be rechecked and hope for the IUI on Saturday or Sunday. There are SO MANY in there. Honestly more then we both cared to count. Only 2 seemed like they might grow to maturity. FX they do.

Now for the bad news...... The RE said "I am highly concerned you are not pregnant yet" "You should have got pregnant by now and the fact that you haven't has me worried you might not". I had a laparoscopy 10 yrs ago for infertility which went really bad. I ended up in renal failure and had to have emergency surgery in which I lost over 70% of my bladder. I had a sever infection that spread to my bladder, kidney’s and all my reproductive organs. I was told that I might not ever be able to have children at that point. BUT over the years the Dr’s have still tried because medically everything looks normal and is perfect. So, in the Dr's eyes I showed no cause as to not be able to conceive. YET, here I am today finally hearing those words that this just might never happen for me.

If this doesn't work I will begin injectables next month for the next 2 cycles. IF those do not work then I will do IVF. He doesn't want to do the 6 cycles then IVF like we planned. We are doing 5 then IVF. He thinks IVF will work but unfortunately you have to do the steps before you can do IVF, as most you know. He thinks I have to much scare tissue that is getting in the way of things meeting up and the only way to know would be ANOTHER surgery but since I have had so many he is against doing one. I truly feel like I have lost all hope. I am doing my best to take it one day at a time and I am praying very hard for a miracle.

Sorry for such a long post. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you ladies so much for listening.

Wow, what's with the negative RE? I could better understand if you'd hit IUI #5 or #6 or something, but to be that negative just after 2 IUIs, that's just silly! Plenty of women get that BFP on much later IUIs, I even read about a lady that got her BFP on IUI #10! I know the vast majority of REs don't do that many IUIs but it still shows that it can work, even if it takes a few tries! But to have your RE be so negative after only 2 IUIs has me worried about him! According to him, I probably will never get pregnant either! Geez, lighten up Stine's RE! I can't stand negative people. He should never have said that to you and definitely not this early in the game.

I agree that you should try injectables though as it gives a bigger fertility kick.

I truely hope one of these IUIs work but otherwise you'll have great chances for IVF working No reason to give up hope yet!

I just got my beta test back today - BFN. So I'm a little down...this was our first cycle of IUI and all the tests came back normal and DH had a count of ~140 million which the RE was happy about. So my hopes were pretty high, I mean 1 egg vs. 140 million sperm, SOMETHING has to happen...but nope They can't figure out why we're not getting pregnant. I know some of you ladies have been through many more cycles than me but I think there are certain emotions that come with a first failed "cycle with medical help"... I'm trying to stay optimistic and brush it off but realistically I just feel really sad that another month has passed by.

Ugh.

Awww adidrea, I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work But there's still a chance! I don't know what's up with your RE but our nurses told us not to worry until around the 4th failed IUI and even then, there's still a chance it can work. There's just so much involved in conception that can go wrong. One of the 3 nurses I normally have told me that even when they do IVF with women with great endometrial lining and 1 fertilised fantastic quality egg, they still see many get a BFN. So it can be impossible to tell sometimes why you don't get a BFP, even though everything looks great. She says so much can go wrong, reasons known and unknown.

A nurse told me that IUI #1 very rarely works and it's much more likely it'll be #2-#4 that do the trick. My in-laws spoke to a couple where it was IUI #6 that worked for them! So don't give up yet!

Even with IUI, your chances are still 15-20% so no higher than a woman that's TTCing those first 3-4 months. Although this is an increase compared to TTCing naturally if you've been trying for about 1 year or more.

So sorry Stine and adidrea that your REs are such negative people! They shouldn't be dashing your hopes completely like that and definitely not this early! I could better understand if it had been IVF #2 or #3 but we're talking about IUI here and earlier ones. Don't listen to them!

 

[Stine]

Stine - I hope that your follies grow a lot and that you're able to get your IUI this week! And sorry to hear about your bad news...that sounds like a rough thing to go through. I'm glad that injectibles and IVF are available to you and covered by insurance! Don't lose hope hun I know it's taking a long time but you'll appreciate your little miracle that much more when he/she does arrive!


I just got my beta test back today - BFN. So I'm a little down...this was our first cycle of IUI and all the tests came back normal and DH had a count of ~140 million which the RE was happy about. So my hopes were pretty high, I mean 1 egg vs. 140 million sperm, SOMETHING has to happen...but nope They can't figure out why we're not getting pregnant. I know some of you ladies have been through many more cycles than me but I think there are certain emotions that come with a first failed "cycle with medical help"... I'm trying to stay optimistic and brush it off but realistically I just feel really sad that another month has passed by.

Ugh.

Unfortunately insurance will NOT COVER anything. It's just how my office works. I am doing my best to keep what little hope I have left.
I too felt all that during my first IUI so I feel your pain and struggle. That's what we are here for. We are your internet shoulder.

Thank you so much for all your love Kat and Adidrea. DH is very down to and feels like you do that maybe the Dr could have not been so blunt. We are keeping our prayers and hopes as high as we can.

 

[Stine]

Had second U/S today. Two dominate follies both in right ovary. Normally it's one and one so I hope two in one side will give a better chance. Again he didn't bother with measuring the other ones. In total I think I have 7 follies. 4 left 3 right but I could have counted wrong. I just know there was a lot and I have 2 that are ready

Also, we don't have as big of a gap between DH's sample and the actual insemination. The last two it was drop off at 830 procedure at noon. TOMORROW it will be at 1030. I really, really hope my magic beans (that’s what DH and I are calling them) grow this cycle. I also hope his sample is better then the last time. I'll update tomorrow.

How is everyone else doing??

 

[deafgal01]

Blah, too many announcements on facebook so I keep having to "hide statuses and posts" from people who say they're pregnant or anything pregnancy related. I just can't cope with seeing those pop up on facebook - unfortunately it seems like for every one that I hide, two or three more pop up later when I look. Argh, i can't win. I've also been staying away from BnB lately. Just don't have time for it.

Least I'll have grad school classes to throw myself into for the next 15 months so that'll keep me busy. I'm not so sure what my game plan is now anymore- I know I agreed to try home insemination but I'm not so sure it'd work either way. Eh... We see where I stand after grad school is done.

 

[KatO79]

Blah, too many announcements on facebook so I keep having to "hide statuses and posts" from people who say they're pregnant or anything pregnancy related. I just can't cope with seeing those pop up on facebook - unfortunately it seems like for every one that I hide, two or three more pop up later when I look. Argh, i can't win. I've also been staying away from BnB lately. Just don't have time for it.

Least I'll have grad school classes to throw myself into for the next 15 months so that'll keep me busy. I'm not so sure what my game plan is now anymore- I know I agreed to try home insemination but I'm not so sure it'd work either way. Eh... We see where I stand after grad school is done.

Awww deafgal, I can imagine how that'd be hard If you know any of your friends are TTCing, it might be a good idea to unfollow them, especially if they're not close friends. Then you can always check out their profile 1 a week or whatever when you're prepared for any eventual pregnancy announcements.

 

[deafgal01]

That is the weird thing - I have no idea which friends on fb is actually ttc. So really no way to figure that out ahead of time except when these pop up and I decide right there to unfollow or whatever. I had to unfollow one last year cuz she was preg and every status was preg related (she has had her boy by now but I still won't follow her in case she is obsessed with motherhood or baby).

My spouse is open to adoption- so we might look into adopting a deaf kid after I finish grad school. Not sure how long that process will be but we are cool with getting a child who is 4 or 5 if that happens. I know in no ways that will ease my desire to be pregnant just once in my life but least I would legally be someone's mother other than the fur babies we have.

How are you all getting on?

 

[teachercv]

teachercv - I am so sorry to hear about your and your sister's diagnosis! What horrible news to get...sending you lots of thoughts and prayers! Did you catch it early enough that it can be treated with the surgery?

Stine - I hope that your follies grow a lot and that you're able to get your IUI this week! And sorry to hear about your bad news...that sounds like a rough thing to go through. I'm glad that injectibles and IVF are available to you and covered by insurance! Don't lose hope hun I know it's taking a long time but you'll appreciate your little miracle that much more when he/she does arrive!

CocoMia- My RE also recommends a low GI diet full of whole foods. I generally eat healthy but I eat way too many grains...I think I'll start listening to their recommendations though.


I just got my beta test back today - BFN. So I'm a little down...this was our first cycle of IUI and all the tests came back normal and DH had a count of ~140 million which the RE was happy about. So my hopes were pretty high, I mean 1 egg vs. 140 million sperm, SOMETHING has to happen...but nope They can't figure out why we're not getting pregnant. I know some of you ladies have been through many more cycles than me but I think there are certain emotions that come with a first failed "cycle with medical help"... I'm trying to stay optimistic and brush it off but realistically I just feel really sad that another month has passed by.

Ugh.

Thanks! Yes mine was caught early enough that they'll only take out the left side of my thyroid. My sister wasn't early enough and will have to lose the entire thing and some lymph nodes.
I'm sad to hear you had a bfn this cycle those suck. I am going to take a break from ttc until I recover from surgery but I'll still be on.

 

[KatO79]

So it's bad news guys, I'm cramping and starting to bleed red so it's AF So will be doing IUI #6 but thinking IUI is most likely not going to work and we'll need IVF. So frustrating we can't start until October

 

[dede3124]

Warning that Im reposting this on a couple of threads....do forgive but really need advice.

In need of advice....my signature shows the gist of my story. This has been an interesting cycle. I am currently dpo 16, longest luteal phase has been 14, however temps are consistently going down and have some slight spotting, with 3 bpn, so I am thinking I am out this month. We consulted an re and we know that if we use assisted methods he recommends medicated cycles with a trigger shot to start; that process is started as soon as I call and say I want it. There are many thoughts in my head though and dh is pretty much leaving the decision with me so I am seeking opinions. My thoughts are a bit random but its what they are.

* I am pervasively haunted with the fear that we will never be successful.
* This process is definitely taking an emotional toll on me.
* After treatment for polyps and endometritis we have only had 2 true attempts.
* Polyps seem to have come back already, but they are small and re said they may be no concern.
* I am now 34 and feel that time is running.
* I am a teacher so fertility treatments could be difficult during the school year, I am currently on summer break....if we start sooner we could have more attempts before the school year started.
* Cycles since surgery have changed becoming more painful and heavy....concerned that something else may happening but hope not.

What has affected your choices to pursue assisted methods or not to? What are your thoughts?

 

[DBZ34]

Stine - I hope that your follies grow a lot and that you're able to get your IUI this week! And sorry to hear about your bad news...that sounds like a rough thing to go through. I'm glad that injectibles and IVF are available to you and covered by insurance! Don't lose hope hun I know it's taking a long time but you'll appreciate your little miracle that much more when he/she does arrive!


I just got my beta test back today - BFN. So I'm a little down...this was our first cycle of IUI and all the tests came back normal and DH had a count of ~140 million which the RE was happy about. So my hopes were pretty high, I mean 1 egg vs. 140 million sperm, SOMETHING has to happen...but nope They can't figure out why we're not getting pregnant. I know some of you ladies have been through many more cycles than me but I think there are certain emotions that come with a first failed "cycle with medical help"... I'm trying to stay optimistic and brush it off but realistically I just feel really sad that another month has passed by.

Ugh.

Unfortunately insurance will NOT COVER anything. It's just how my office works. I am doing my best to keep what little hope I have left.
I too felt all that during my first IUI so I feel your pain and struggle. That's what we are here for. We are your internet shoulder.

Thank you so much for all your love Kat and Adidrea. DH is very down to and feels like you do that maybe the Dr could have not been so blunt. We are keeping our prayers and hopes as high as we can.

Stine, OMG. Your RE is just crap. Total crap. He's concerned you're not pregnant yet? He didn't even give you the proper amount of medication with your first IUI! How is he going to blame his incompetence on you? Don't listen to him. Many women have more than two IUIs before they get pregnant...and that's with getting the proper dose of meds the first time and not having to go back and up the dose.

Keep your hopes up for sure. That guy obviously doesn't really know what he's talking about. And he didn't have to say that to you at all. Maybe after 6 IUIs and like 6 IVFs, then it might be more acceptable to say something like he's concerned it might not happen, but before then is just crazy talk. He hasn't given you all enough of a chance to get pregnant to be concerned it's not working.

He obviously hasn't hung around BnB...

 

[swimmyj1]

hey, I would like to join your thread. A little back ground, been off BC for about 24 months. the first 12 we weren't actively trying had a MC and decided to really try after that. But nothing sense then. My husband is really reluctant to get aggressive with trying. He feels like it's playing god, which is becoming very frustrating to me. However he has agreed to get a SA so maybe it's a step in the right direction. My 3 best friends all had kids without trying and just keep telling me not to worry it will happen when I'm ready ..... I've been ready for the last 2 years. Final straw happened the other day when my grandmother sent me a box of baby cloths and a note telling me I was selfish for not giving her any great grandchildren yet. Sorry very long rant here any good advise for telling family that we have been trying but no luck and that I would appreciate them to stop pushing???

 

[KatO79]

hey, I would like to join your thread. A little back ground, been off BC for about 24 months. the first 12 we weren't actively trying had a MC and decided to really try after that. But nothing sense then. My husband is really reluctant to get aggressive with trying. He feels like it's playing god, which is becoming very frustrating to me. However he has agreed to get a SA so maybe it's a step in the right direction. My 3 best friends all had kids without trying and just keep telling me not to worry it will happen when I'm ready ..... I've been ready for the last 2 years. Final straw happened the other day when my grandmother sent me a box of baby cloths and a note telling me I was selfish for not giving her any great grandchildren yet. Sorry very long rant here any good advise for telling family that we have been trying but no luck and that I would appreciate them to stop pushing???

Welcome swimmy1

So sorry that you're also having such a tough time getting that BFP as well I know how frustrating it is when everyone else you know had an easy time and you're the only one suffering from infertility, it really sucks. Your grandmother sounds like she has issues when she's doing stuff like that to you, please don't listen to her I'd just tell them that you've been trying for a long time but it just hasn't happened yet and you'll let them know when it does. However, you might encounter some of them not understanding it if they haven't experienced it themselves (like most in mine and DH's family haven't and haven't had much understaning) so be prepared for this plus the ones that had an easy time coming with all their "sage" advice! You can try telling the ones that show no understanding that you don't wish to discuss it with them and that you'll let them know when you get that BFP.

AFM we had an appointment with the clinic yesterday for cyst check (no cysts) and then had to swing by my narcissist mother. When we got home, I made the mistake of checking Reddit RBN (raisedbynarcissists = raised by narcissists) for a certain member's answer to my thread and it ended up her taking huge offense to the fact that very small children aren't invited to weddings in this country and she got into victim blaming, flaming and not assuming a context of abuse in what I wrote (BIG no no's on Reddit RBN) so I had a bad anxiety attack over her answer and couldn't function for the rest of the night I reported her to Reddit so hopefully she's been reprimanded, maybe even banned as she really went too far and was insulting and character assasinating me and totally not seeing how abusive my narcissist brother was and has been even though everyone else could see it. So yeah, ....... But I'm feeling better now, will just avoid that website for a few days.

 

[Bookaddict]

Hello all,

DH and I have been trying to conceive since Sept 2012. A couple years ago we had the basic tests of HSG, LH, FSH, progesterone and SA done. We were told these were all normal but I was never told any numbers. The whole process had become quite stressful, as many of you know, so we decided to NTNP. I think my husband didn't quite grasp that there could be an issue.

Fast forward to now and we are starting up tests again. Last week I went in for my day 3 blood tests. Holy 12 vials of blood, I wasn’t expecting that. I still have to go back for day 21 tests and my husband is having a second SA.

I have never had any BFP. So it is always on my mind that it might never happen.

 

[swimmyj1]

Well Im out this cycle. Also contacted my doctor about getting my progesterone checked ect. Getting an SA done this weekend. Trying not to let it get me down.

Let us know how ur tests come back hope they find out something

 

[KatO79]

So went to my 2nd U/S and have 2 follies, one at 13 and one at 14 mm (one follie in each overy) So need to take Puregon a couple more days to get them up to the 17 mm they want. Will trigger Wednesday night and have my IUI #6 on Friday morning.

They didn't have any more Ovitrelle so got Pregnyl instead and have to mix up the fluid and powder myself but it seemed pretty simple. She said there's a video on their homepage if we need to see it again before doing it. But I'm a Lab Tech so shouldn't be too problematic

 

[swimmyj1]

Husbands SA came back today and I've been a bit devastated by it. Low count, 100% head abnormalities. and only 22% fast swimmers. We are finally getting the referral to the specialist. But today he told me he doesn't think he wants to use a donor if it comes to that and doesn't want to do IVF so idk what to do now ..... I'm hoping he's just upset and we can talk about this. Also really hoping my 21 day labs come back good so we only have a one person problem not a 2.

 

[DandJ]

Oh no Swimmy I'm sure he is just upset and once he understands lots of other men go through male infertility, there is always hope


AFM...

I'm 29, DH is 33 and we've been TTC since June last year, no success... had a chemical in December, only found out through blood work. BFP virgin right here! Sought out fertility help... DH's SA is normal, my blood work is normal but had an HSG done March this year and found I had a septate uterus which was resected early May. Fertility doctor gave the OK to resume TTC. This month was our first at giving it a go again, BFN. Going to try naturally for a few more months and look into IUI. DH's insurance carrier has changed so dealing with a whole new insurance that is pretty much crap. Oh lawdie...

That's a quickie about me!

 

[Stine]

Hey ladies!! I am so sorry I have not been around since my last IUI. I have been so busy with work and personal life I haven't really had any me time to sit down and catch up. To all the new ladies... WELCOME Hope you are not here long and that we all get our BFP soon. To all of you about to or have just had your IUI... FX!!!

AFM- AF showed today. I will have to skip this month. I am going to start injections and I have to take a class on them before the Dr will let me start. The class was yesterday and I asked my boss if she would let me go for the hour and she refused me my Dr appt to go. The next class isn't till July 8 so I will have to wait. DH has this weird feeling that this will be "our month" since we "wont be thinking about it" but I know that wont happen. I am super annoyed and upset that I have to wait but will take this month to try and regroup myself. This cycle DH and I were almost 100% sure I was going to have my BFP. The reality I was not hurt him more I think then me. We have agreed to start looking into finding a therapist for us just in case this doesn't work. DH broke down and started crying so much the other day. He has begun to lose hope that we will ever be parents. This has been such and long journey for us and the realization that we are a few months away from "giving up" is hitting up hard. We aren't giving up, we are just deciding that after/IF IVF doesn't we can't afford to do another and will have to accept that we have exhausted our resources to have medical help. I really wish my local area had a support group. I'm thinking of starting one.

Sorry for all the Debbie Downer info. I truly hope everyone is well. If I don't drop in over the next month it's only to try and keep sane while I wait to start again. Stay well ladies!!!

 

[KatO79]

AFM- AF showed today. I will have to skip this month. I am going to start injections and I have to take a class on them before the Dr will let me start. The class was yesterday and I asked my boss if she would let me go for the hour and she refused me my Dr appt to go. The next class isn't till July 8 so I will have to wait. DH has this weird feeling that this will be "our month" since we "wont be thinking about it" but I know that wont happen. I am super annoyed and upset that I have to wait but will take this month to try and regroup myself. This cycle DH and I were almost 100% sure I was going to have my BFP. The reality I was not hurt him more I think then me. We have agreed to start looking into finding a therapist for us just in case this doesn't work. DH broke down and started crying so much the other day. He has begun to lose hope that we will ever be parents. This has been such and long journey for us and the realization that we are a few months away from "giving up" is hitting up hard. We aren't giving up, we are just deciding that after/IF IVF doesn't we can't afford to do another and will have to accept that we have exhausted our resources to have medical help. I really wish my local area had a support group. I'm thinking of starting one.

Sorry for all the Debbie Downer info. I truly hope everyone is well. If I don't drop in over the next month it's only to try and keep sane while I wait to start again. Stay well ladies!!!

Awww sorry AF showed up Why do you need to take a class on injections? One of the nurses at my clinic just showed me how to use the Puregon Pen and that was that, easy peasy. Is it because you won't be using a pen or what? If your boss is being a witch just call in sick next time and claim food poisoning, nothing she can do about that.

Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way but you never know, one can hope it happens for you during the break. My recommendation is to just expect it'll be a BFN to avoid being too disappointed, that's what I do. I don't know about what my DH's frame of mind is during the 2WW but I'd guess he's hopeful but cautious and expects it to be a BFN so he's mentally prepared for AF showing up. I think counting on it being a BFP each time will just exhaust you both mentally and emotionally in case you're in for a longer journey. Aren't there any groups your RE can recommend to you? If there aren't any I know how that is. There are groups here but you have to pay a monthly fee to attend and DH and I don't have the extra money since we're spending carefully until he gets a job since I'm a housewife. You could also consider a therapist, maybe one with experience in couples dealing with infertility?

AFM I had my IUI done this morning. DH's count hit a personal record: 60 million (10 million more than last time) I have 2 follies (one in each ovary) and the nurse is almost 100% sure both follies will be released so here's hoping. If it's a bust, we're on forced break until October when we will first be able to start IVF at the hospital (we'll be NTNP in the meantime to load up mentally for IVF). DH will try calling them next week to schedule his SA (they want to do their own) and ask them if they can move us up if they get a cancellation (our nurse recommended us to do this). Here's hoping it won't be necessary but with my track record.......

So now starts the wait

 

[Purpleice]

Lots of Kat! Hope this is THE cycle for you

AFM, I'm on a natural cycle, no medications. Scans showed 3 on the right and 2 on the left. CD10 scan showed a bigger follie on the left, my hope actually soared, only to find out on CD12 scan that the follie didn't grow in size. I'm officially out this cycle.

Did any of you experience having your period / bleeding for 13 days? Im on CD13, and there's still some spotting (sorry TMI). RE said its probably anovulatory cycle. This has never happened until now. Is it the previous medication that's messing with my hormones?

I'm also trying acupuncture. Hope it helps.

Good luck to us all!