pinksprinkles
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Hey ladies. Okay, you finally get an update. And I apologize ahead, because it's going to be a rant. The last 36 hours were absolute hell. So here goes:
So I did have a good follicle yesterday. Just one, but 20mm and my lining was perfect.
After the appt DH and I called the sperm bank to schedule our washes, but out of the blue they told us a "qualified professional" would have to sign a "permission slip" to allow us to do sperm wash. WTH? We never spoke to our RE about the IUI because he doesn't believe that anyone but him is qualified to have any say in their own treatment. (A real ego-trip kind of guy. He even pretty much told me a few weeks ago that I don't know anything about infertility and that he doesn't really approve of me researching my meds or treatment options, and that he will be the one making those decisions.)
Anyway, I had run though all the sperm bank policies with the sperm tech WEEKS ago, and she never told me I'd need a form signed so I had no clue this was all going to come up. (Heck, I STILL don't understand why my husband and I need "permission" to be "allowed" to have his own sperm washed!!) Since my RE's office was closed (and since I already knew he would say no anyway) I went to my midwife, but she said no because she does not know about inseminations. Then my normal OB/Gyn said no for the same reason. THEN the sperm bank's own doctor said no because he did not want to step on any toes since I already have a doctor. Then I called several other fertility clinics throughout the state: all were no, no, no, no, no.
At that point, I gave in. My RE was the only on left. So I called his off-hours number and spoke to his nurse. She acted like I was a total moron for even thinking I could do an insem myself- mind you I told her we were just doing an IVI and not IUI. She said it was dangerous to do an IVI and I could kill myself trying it because I am "untrained" and it is a "dangerous procedure", and then she refused to even call the doctor and talk to him about the situation. I told her that I wanted to speak with my doctor and finally she did let me schedule an appt with him for this morning so he could talk to us and understand that we know what we're doing. She was pissy, but at least we got an appt.
Fast forward to today: Just as I was doing my trigger this morning, but before my appt time, the nurse called to tell us that the doctor also thought we were being idiots (not her exact words, but intent was crystal clear). Why did she call? Well, because apparently my RE felt that he had no reason that he should bother to speak to us. The nurse said that he told her to tell us that either he does the inseminations or no one does. The nurse refused to give us any reasons behind the decision except to say that an IVI if done incorrectly is VERY DANGEROUS. I simply asked (VERY calmly and professionally) why they felt that my husband and I would be in danger doing it ourselves (I know for a fact there is no danger, I have researched the heck out of this and knew she was BS;ing me) and she refused to answer the question and intead told me I was "getting smart" with her. Mind you, all I asked was what they based their decision on!!! I was not rude or sarcastic or anything. Given the circumstances, I was insanely polite even though I was screaming inside.
I told her I really wanted to speak with the doctor and she very angrily said he would no longer be speaking to me, that we were no longer going to be their patients, and that I need to find a new RE. (Seriously???) So at that point, we had no choice but to go to our RE's office immediately to get my records. Yes. They really did kick us out!! It was terrible.
I still have NO IDEA why they freaked out like this. I even asked my husband if I had sounded at all bitchy on the phone- he's the kind of guy who would tell me if I had- and he said I was super chill and that he had no idea how I even kept my cool with someone talking to me the way that nurse did. (I had my cell turned up during the conversation so he could hear.)
After that, I spent the next couple hours calling everywhere I possibly could to find someone (ANYONE!) who would sign the form. I was a total mess. Crying and just being so freaked out about everything. I could not believe this was happening! I looked for sperm bank in neighboring states in case their laws might be different, but I couldn't fins anywhere to go. I started calling all the midwives in the area, but pretty much everyone was close because it's the weekend.
But FINALLY I found a midwife online who had done inseminations before and who actually answered her phone when I called. And oh my she was really nice. She said she had no idea why someone would deny us our own sperm and that she's totally sickened by doctors who are only out for patients money. She had heard of our RE and knew how he treas patients. She was totally not surprised about what she was hearing. She also told me IVI, ICI, or IUI are all perfectly safe choices and she scheduled us an appt with her for this evening- even though she is closed weekends!!! When we met with her, she walked us through how to do the IUI, and signed the sperm release form. She even gave us some betadine because I did not have any for the cervical wash. I am so thankful for this amazing woman!!! She saved our IUI cycle!
Anyway, today has been STRESSFUL. But we are doing an IUI tomorrow and Monday, at 26 hours and 50 hours post-trigger, and that is what matters. Also, I spoke again with the sperm bank who talked to their doctor and he said he'd be happy to take us on as patients and sign all the forms we need for home insems from here on out. And if he ever decides not to, we have our wonderful midwife to sign instead.
I am still very angry at my old RE, but at least I found out what kind of clinic he actually runs.
Anyway, that all is why I didn't update sooner. Figured I ought to sort it all out first.
So I did have a good follicle yesterday. Just one, but 20mm and my lining was perfect.
After the appt DH and I called the sperm bank to schedule our washes, but out of the blue they told us a "qualified professional" would have to sign a "permission slip" to allow us to do sperm wash. WTH? We never spoke to our RE about the IUI because he doesn't believe that anyone but him is qualified to have any say in their own treatment. (A real ego-trip kind of guy. He even pretty much told me a few weeks ago that I don't know anything about infertility and that he doesn't really approve of me researching my meds or treatment options, and that he will be the one making those decisions.)Anyway, I had run though all the sperm bank policies with the sperm tech WEEKS ago, and she never told me I'd need a form signed so I had no clue this was all going to come up. (Heck, I STILL don't understand why my husband and I need "permission" to be "allowed" to have his own sperm washed!!) Since my RE's office was closed (and since I already knew he would say no anyway) I went to my midwife, but she said no because she does not know about inseminations. Then my normal OB/Gyn said no for the same reason. THEN the sperm bank's own doctor said no because he did not want to step on any toes since I already have a doctor. Then I called several other fertility clinics throughout the state: all were no, no, no, no, no.
At that point, I gave in. My RE was the only on left. So I called his off-hours number and spoke to his nurse. She acted like I was a total moron for even thinking I could do an insem myself- mind you I told her we were just doing an IVI and not IUI. She said it was dangerous to do an IVI and I could kill myself trying it because I am "untrained" and it is a "dangerous procedure", and then she refused to even call the doctor and talk to him about the situation. I told her that I wanted to speak with my doctor and finally she did let me schedule an appt with him for this morning so he could talk to us and understand that we know what we're doing. She was pissy, but at least we got an appt.
Fast forward to today: Just as I was doing my trigger this morning, but before my appt time, the nurse called to tell us that the doctor also thought we were being idiots (not her exact words, but intent was crystal clear). Why did she call? Well, because apparently my RE felt that he had no reason that he should bother to speak to us. The nurse said that he told her to tell us that either he does the inseminations or no one does. The nurse refused to give us any reasons behind the decision except to say that an IVI if done incorrectly is VERY DANGEROUS. I simply asked (VERY calmly and professionally) why they felt that my husband and I would be in danger doing it ourselves (I know for a fact there is no danger, I have researched the heck out of this and knew she was BS;ing me) and she refused to answer the question and intead told me I was "getting smart" with her. Mind you, all I asked was what they based their decision on!!! I was not rude or sarcastic or anything. Given the circumstances, I was insanely polite even though I was screaming inside.
I told her I really wanted to speak with the doctor and she very angrily said he would no longer be speaking to me, that we were no longer going to be their patients, and that I need to find a new RE. (Seriously???) So at that point, we had no choice but to go to our RE's office immediately to get my records. Yes. They really did kick us out!! It was terrible.
I still have NO IDEA why they freaked out like this. I even asked my husband if I had sounded at all bitchy on the phone- he's the kind of guy who would tell me if I had- and he said I was super chill and that he had no idea how I even kept my cool with someone talking to me the way that nurse did. (I had my cell turned up during the conversation so he could hear.)
After that, I spent the next couple hours calling everywhere I possibly could to find someone (ANYONE!) who would sign the form. I was a total mess. Crying and just being so freaked out about everything. I could not believe this was happening! I looked for sperm bank in neighboring states in case their laws might be different, but I couldn't fins anywhere to go. I started calling all the midwives in the area, but pretty much everyone was close because it's the weekend.
But FINALLY I found a midwife online who had done inseminations before and who actually answered her phone when I called. And oh my she was really nice. She said she had no idea why someone would deny us our own sperm and that she's totally sickened by doctors who are only out for patients money. She had heard of our RE and knew how he treas patients. She was totally not surprised about what she was hearing. She also told me IVI, ICI, or IUI are all perfectly safe choices and she scheduled us an appt with her for this evening- even though she is closed weekends!!! When we met with her, she walked us through how to do the IUI, and signed the sperm release form. She even gave us some betadine because I did not have any for the cervical wash. I am so thankful for this amazing woman!!! She saved our IUI cycle!
Anyway, today has been STRESSFUL. But we are doing an IUI tomorrow and Monday, at 26 hours and 50 hours post-trigger, and that is what matters. Also, I spoke again with the sperm bank who talked to their doctor and he said he'd be happy to take us on as patients and sign all the forms we need for home insems from here on out. And if he ever decides not to, we have our wonderful midwife to sign instead.
I am still very angry at my old RE, but at least I found out what kind of clinic he actually runs.
Anyway, that all is why I didn't update sooner. Figured I ought to sort it all out first.
Let us know how this cycle turns out, I'm so hopeful for you!
I hope we both get some beautiful BFP's this month. When will you we testing? Valentines Day?
but I posted this on another thread thinking I was on this one...lol Karen I think hubby and I still might bd even if they cancel the cycle...I would hate to waste a cycle....but I'm hoping for not twins or triplets! Hubby and I discussed what we would do if that happened with rooms and that would would probably be freaked and faint or something thinking about the money :/ I know we would make it work...like if we have one...we aren't rich...but we will do our darnedest to make sure the baby is taken care of! 
