Made to cry over formula :(

[vintage67]

Re-read the OPs post.

She said her decision was made with her husband after careful research.

She did not ask for any studies or links.

She was asking why she had to justify her choices, and was upset at her judgemental mother in law.

She did not ask for your "expert" opinion on a medical decision that she said she had already made.

I apologize for absolutely nothing as I've done nothing wrong.

 

[summer rain]

I never claimed to be an expert and OP from her post, appeared to have got most of her information on BF with IDA from her midwife and stated in her post what her midwife had said, what her midwife said to her was factually innaccurate; just as I have corrected factually inaccurate info about FF and different types of formula here in the past (i.e. differences between specialist formulas) I do the same for BF. There are many ladies on here who choose not to BF and I fully respect their opinions and choices and many of the ladies who have chosen to FF for whatever reason can vouch for me in this; however there are also many ladies on B&B who have either chosen to FF from birth or felt they have had to switch to FF after being given incorrect information and they do end up being rightfully upset that they were not given the information at the time, also the studies posted were in response to another poster on this thread who did not believe that BF mums get as much sleep as FF mums and she wanted to see evidence of this-it was not an attempt to change OPs mind, being a public forum threads do go off on a bit of a tangent sometimes. Also other mums (or mums to be) who are anaemic and not sure about BF may have been reading this thread and been under the mistaken impression that it would be medically unsafe to BF, this is a public forum after all so I posted the links primarily for their benefit. With all due respect you don't know how breastfeeding support (or lack of it) goes in this country. The vast majority of women here do not have access to the correct information or proper support when BF. I'm sorry but I find you rude and confrontational, you are not the only person who has had traumatic birth experiences, post natal depression or anything else, many of the BF mums you seem to see as completely inhuman ogres also have had horrible experiences.

 

[midori1999]

For many reasons, one being my iron count is extremely low (last count was 6) iv tried all kids off iron supliments over the years and it never gets higher than 8, mw said if i want to breastfeed i could however i may not be able to supply ample iron for both of us but my body will priorities the baby, also that the baby could become anemic and need iron supliments later on, i decided that i would not want to put either of us through that

This is the only reason the OP gave for deciding not to BF. Of course, she also said there were other reasons and we don't know what they are. However, I don't think it's especially crazy to consider that's a major factor seeing as it's the one she mentioned.

She may well have already made her decison firmly, regardless of extra information, but imagine no-one told her what her midwife said was incorrect and that she didn't BF her baby and then years later found out that actually, she could have BF after all. Some women carry all sorts of guilt and regret for absolutely years, decades even because of that sort of thing.

People are trying to help the OP. No-one has said she must BF or she must consider it as an option, we are just arming her with the information or where to go for further, informed advice if she wants further information on this. If she doesn't want it, she can choose to ignore it and that is fine, of course it is.

 

[midori1999]

I hated BF, worst decision I ever made to even try it. SOOO glad I'm FF now! I'm sorry your MIL is putting you down, I think the pros to FF much outweigh the pros to BF and so do a lot of other women too! And do you know now if any of your friends/family were BF or FF? I know I don't and that's because it reeeeally doesn't matter either way! Chin up and please don't let your MIL or any other stupid people upset you x x x

How a woman feeds her baby doesn't matter... unless that lady wanted to BF and couldn't or had to stop before she wanted to and 90% of women who stop BF say they would have liked to carry on for longer. that's a lot of women not feeding their baby how they want to. That matters.

Anyway, that's not really what this is about, so I'll leave it there.

OP, good luck whatever feeding choices you make for your family and your baby. I'm not sure if you know, (or if you're still reading) but BF helplines are there to help with things like this too, deciding how to feed your baby and what is best for you, whether that be breast or formula. They are also there to help you come to terms with any decision you have made so that you do not have to be reduced to tears by people like your MIL, that it something that should never happen.

 

[bananabump]

Yeh but what I'm pointing out is that whether a baby is FF or BF doesn't actually have an affect on them in later life anyway (if you knew me, you wouldn't know if I was BF or FF) so to do whatever you personally feel comfortable and happy with!

 

[Nic1107]

I think the fact that women are driven to suicidal thoughts about not being able to BF, or choosing not to and feeling ostracized, judged and perhaps guilty because of it, says a lot about the state of communication in the medical and parenting communities regarding feeding methods. Even well-meaning advice starts to feel like an attack, and when it ends up in an argument no one gets helped and it just spreads the bad feelings around.

I'm not telling anyone what to do, but I think maybe the best way to go about correcting inaccuracies would be stating that it is incorrect, providing a link to the correct information, and perhaps leaving the "I did it by x, x and x so you can too" to a private message? Taking into consideration everyone who is involved in the conversation on a thread, it might be a trigger. I fully realize that something so seemingly innocuous shouldn't be a trigger- that's sort of my point. When you're devastated about something, it's quite common and normal to get irrational.

The problem comes in when people just want to be left alone with people who understand- currently understand, as later BF success will inevitably change your perspective- and suddenly the conversation turns into why they could have BF if x, x and x and they should have because z, z and z. You just can't get away from it... and sometimes you really, really need to. And sometimes people really, really need to respect that. I don't mean to be rude, but please remember that if it appears you are truly upsetting someone (and anger is often the face of deep hurt), it would mean the world to give them some space.

all 'round.

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

IDC what anything or anyone says, from my own experience, and from asking many bf mothers... it IS more tiring in the early days... I just asked the question on a page of mothers who were due around the same time as me... the bf moms said "yeppp, but well worth it!" and "OH definitely!"....


scientific evidence is constantly trumped by personal experiences. Means much more imo. xxxx

if your not a ff i don't see the business here. honestly.

it's a ff forum... if we wanted to know which "myths" were and weren't true.. we'd ask.. on the BF forum. thanks.

 

[summer rain]

IDC what anything or anyone says, from my own experience, and from asking many bf mothers... it IS more tiring in the early days... I just asked the question on a page of mothers who were due around the same time as me... the bf moms said "yeppp, but well worth it!" and "OH definitely!"....


scientific evidence is constantly trumped by personal experiences. Means much more imo. xxxx

if your not a ff i don't see the business here. honestly.

it's a ff forum... if we wanted to know which "myths" were and weren't true.. we'd ask.. on the BF forum. thanks.

Why bother asking to see the studies then if you 'don't care' about them? LOL Also unless those moms you asked both BF and FF more than one child each way how could they know which is more tiring? I have actually BF two kids and mainly FF two kids; I was more tired with the FF babies; but I don't state this as a wholesale fact applied to everyone as I know that is just one experience. This is why studies exist because they take an unbiased, purely scientific look at results from a very large, wide ranging sample of people. A few people on the internet doth not make something 'fact', just like those little polls on online newspapers stress they are not scientific because it is all down to who responds at the time; nor is your method for deciding if BF or FF is more tiring-you may personally choose to believe in it, but it simply isn't an accurate measure. Also last time I knew; you were not the moderator of this forum. There is nothing here to say only those currently FF are 'allowed' here, last time I checked?

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

IDC what anything or anyone says, from my own experience, and from asking many bf mothers... it IS more tiring in the early days... I just asked the question on a page of mothers who were due around the same time as me... the bf moms said "yeppp, but well worth it!" and "OH definitely!"....


scientific evidence is constantly trumped by personal experiences. Means much more imo. xxxx

if your not a ff i don't see the business here. honestly.

it's a ff forum... if we wanted to know which "myths" were and weren't true.. we'd ask.. on the BF forum. thanks.

Why bother asking to see the studies then if you 'don't care' about them? LOL Also unless those moms you asked both BF and FF more than one child each way how could they know which is more tiring? I have actually BF two kids and mainly FF two kids; I was more tired with the FF babies; but I don't state this as a wholesale fact applied to everyone as I know that is just one experience. This is why studies exist because they take an unbiased, purely scientific look at results from a very large, wide ranging sample of people. A few people on the internet doth not make something 'fact', just like those little polls on online newspapers stress they are not scientific because it is all down to who responds at the time; nor is your method for deciding if BF or FF is more tiring. Also last time I knew; you were not the moderator of this forum. There is nothing here to say only those currently FF are 'allowed' here, last time I checked?

I was just going to add that I forgot to say.. yet those studies are interesting, i always take personal experience over textbook says so.. search some of my other posts and you'll see..

Oh, and yea maybe they all only had one kid or had 100 but when multiple ppl state the same thing, EVEn with the few that disagree. It makes a statement.

haha i never said your not allowed i said your definitely not appreciated here. you guys coming on here with facts left and right means nothing to us. duh. the majority of us on the ff seciton have already decided to formula feed...

I NEVER said the ppl i asked made it a fact. quit putting words in my mouth. i said i take it over scientific evidence. and i also said imo ... which means "in my opinion".

For the record, science is my favorite subject. I've taken many and multiple challenging science classes and am starting college monday to pursue a career in it. I LOVE SCIENCE. but i do believe it's taken too far.

lol of course your biased, of course your going to say you were more tired ff. duh.
yes scientifically i agree, maybe because of certain hormones and blah blah blah are released it is physiologically less tiring. but ppl respond to these things differently. most ppl's lives involve a whole HELL of alot more than JUST bf, scientists don't take those things into account. Like you say it's "purely scientific". Nothing more to it than that.

 

[summer rain]

Rude and childish what more can be said? If you google my posts on this section, I have helped a lot of people; so I am appreciated- even if its not by you personally-that doesn't really bother me to be completely honest. You clearly have some issues.

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

If you really feel the need to argue such a dumb argument, with IMO such a naive opinion (before you get all butt hurt, realize you think mine is just as naive. Hints why we're about to get absolutely NO WHERE with this.)

pm me. Tthis women's thread is not the place, if it's going to be any longer.

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

Rude and childish what more can be said? If you google my posts on this section, I have helped a lot of people; so I am appreciated- even if its not by you personally-that doesn't really bother me to be completely honest. You clearly have some issues.

lol

suure.

and i didn't say YOU were unappreciated, i'm sure many ppl agree with you and i'm sure you have helped alot.

but the bf facts on a ff section isn't something that's going to be overly appreciated. and it never ends well. as with ff on the bf section. x

 

[summer rain]

I'm out. I responded to your request for information and get a torrent of abuse for it, sorry but I don't have time for that (BTW my son is sleeping and has been for several hours now just before you say anything....)

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

I'm out. I responded to your request for information and get a torrent of abuse for it, sorry but I don't have time for that (BTW my son is sleeping and has been for several hours now just before you say anything....)

Pretty sure i never said bf baby's don't sleep. ?
I said over and over... in the beginning... as with learning anything new, it's more TIRING than something so ..easy.

BTW.. nothing in the post you said was "rude" was rude. it was straigtforward, not personal.

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

Anyone feels the need to say something to me. PM me. feel free.

As for now, unsubscribing, such a dumb debate. I could go on forever.

 

[TattiesMum]

I BF all 3 of my children and loved it ... it was the right decision for me

My daughter chose to FF her two and I support her decision totally - her LOs are happy, well nourished, healthy and hit all their developmental milestones just as mine did ... FF was the right decision for her

Who am I or anyone else to judge the choices that anyone makes with regard to feeding? At the end of the day we are talking about a tiny, tiny proportion of your LO's life and whichever method you choose the important thing is that LO is fed and loved

Stick two babies of the same age side by side - one BF and one FF and I challenge anyone to tell which is which based on health, weight and developmental levels - and remember this is from someone who was a militant BF (to my shame) in my time

 

[Karlie06]

Well said tattiesmum!!!!!

 

[midori1999]

Tattiesmum, no-one is judging anyone's choice in feeding, simply correcting misinformation the OP was given and suggesting where she could find someone who may be able to advise her correctly should she decide she wants more information.

 

[sinead266]

You'll know yourself which is best suited for you and your baby, I had a section and ebf my baby the first 9 weeks were very tiring as that's when the baby wants to feed all the time, and I've 3 other kids I had to look after aswell, unless you have time to sit on your bum 24/7 then that's the only way you wouldn't be tired, ff babies develop just as well as bf babies, don't listen to anyone else your body your baby, and this is only a forum full of strangers for all we know some of the ladies on here could be men or ladies telling us a pack of lies,

 

[bananabump]

Well said Sinead and Chelsea! Some people need to just wind their necks in and go back to where they can preach about BF to people who feel the same!! Xx