Made to cry over formula :(

[summer rain]

At least on the BF section people aren't downright rude and ill-mannered and accusing people of being men-just for posting info(!). I am not a man or someone making up a pack of lies and I always post evidence for what I write from legit websites-unless you think I suddenly put up those as well? Anyone from here is welcome to meet me and see I am a woman and I do have 4 boys! Regardless of whether the poster is a BFer or FFer, I honestly challenge anyone to go into the bF section and find nasty posts like the two above. A lot of ladies have posted on BF section not sure about BF and FF and in some cases posters have been rude or abrupt or made judgemental remarks about BF, and still ladies have responded in a calm, friendly level-headed manner.

Just because someone offers advice or posts evidence that info from a health care professional was not 100% they are showered with abuse and false claims that they have said formula is poison etc-I wouldnt mind if it was one of those (relatively rare) threads where that happens but no-one here has said any such thing! It has been clearly reiterated by both myself and the other lady who posted evidence asked for-that we completely support the OP in her choice but should she still want to BF it is possible-and that really is all. We never said she must breastfeed, she should breastfeed, or she is making the wrong decision anywhere unless I am reading a different thread and was sleep-writing posts that have somehow mysteriously disappeared!

BTW a lady asked just today in BF section about relactating because she had been falsely told that she couldn't BF with anaemia and has now found she can-just goes to show that women are being told false info regarding BF with certain medical conditions by health care professionals and that some women do regret not BF if they have not had access to the right information, but relactation can be hard so surely it is better to be able to make an informed choice to begin with? I have many friends who FF by choice and I have nothing against their choice or them, nor do I believe their children will be harmed or disadvantaged by their choice-but if a woman wants to BF and is being told she cannot based on wrong info, or even if she is 50/50 but wrong info would make her pick a choice she regrets then that does worry me and I am sorry if that upsets anyone. In the past the posters on this section were lovely but the ones on here at the moment, it is just shocking it really is-no wonder many FF mummies I know on B&B don't post in this section anymore either xx

 

[bananabump]

So because we FF we're all rude and ill mannered but you BF ladies never argue?! Wow, as if you just said that.

 

[midori1999]

we completely support the OP in her choice but should she still want to BF it is possible-and that really is all.

That sums it up really. No-one is preaching, just trying to help the OP.

 

[summer rain]

So because we FF we're all rude and ill mannered but you BF ladies never argue?! Wow, as if you just said that.

As if I just said that, well no actually I didn't. No-one said that. Reread my post. I said this section women can get pretty rude as opposed to the BF section and that is unfortunately true, doesn't say anything about the nice ladies who post here (sadly a minority now or maybe they are just not as vocal and bitchy) or the majority of nice FFing ladies on baby and bump and elsewhere, nor is a slight on FF but just goes to show if a BF lady says anything just look at what she is accused of, she is accused of saying formula is this or all formula feeders are that without any basis at all! Again nowhere did I say ladies here are rude and ill-mannered because they FF, shazeesh! It seems some people are just like that in this day and age. I am sure there are rude BFers too but I was talking about this particular forum baby and bump.

Some people need to just wind their necks in and go back to where they can preach about BF to people who feel the same!!

a quote from you-its exactly this type of thing I am talking about, not to mention having the word 'dumb' used about me about 26 times by another poster and being told that isn't at all rude or offensive, and accusing people of being men or making stuff up just because they said people should have access to information-is outright rude and uncalled for xx

 

[sinead266]

so you think by googling that your finding all proper info??? i couldnt care less if you were a woman,man or donkey. its up to the girl who made the post to make up her own mind whether thats bf or ff, she will know herself once the baby is here, if she has very low iron it means she will be very tired already and breastfeeding makes you even more tired as the baby wants to feed all the time at the start and only you can do it, i am not going to sugar coat something because i think its better for the baby, formula would not be sold if it wasnt suitable for a baby, im exclusively breastfeeding but that doesnt make me want to make everyone else do it and it was bloody hard work and i felt like giving up. some say its easier but in my opinion formula is the easier option.

 

[summer rain]

The links I post are from respected scientific journals and other respected; world-renowned publications; so yes they are 'proper info' and no I didn't just go and google them I tend to have a lot of these things bookmarked as part of something that I am interested in or to have if anyone wants links to certain things and I need to access them quickly. No-one said formula should not be allowed to be sold; or it is 'bad' for babies (though I am not going to deny that BF does have certain health benefits) but there is an emotional side to wanting to BF too, and if women want to BF for their own emotional well being but are not being told correct info on if they can or not-then that is what is unfair and that can lead to heartache and regret in the future. I am not 'sugar coating' anything but just putting across another viewpoint, even if backed up by evidence (from studies based on real people, not rats in a lab) seems not to be allowed here. I was brought up to speak to older more experienced people with respect and courtesy even if I disagreed with them but it seems no one is brought up to respect these things anymore xx

 

[sinead266]

the only emotional side to breastfeeding is feeling guilty if you dont do it because people make you feel guilty and tell you that formula is second best and no-one wants to give their baby second best, you can still bond with a baby if its ff, as for respected scientific journals, one day something is good for you the next its bad

 

[summer rain]

a lot of women genuinely feel sad about not BF if they are unable to, even if they come from somewhere where FF is the norm-it simply isn't true that those women all regret not BF just because they are made to feel guilty because of BF pressure. When I had to FF one of my sons for medical reasons to do with severe allergies (and lack of support in investigating and quite possibly overcoming these) I lived in an area where FF was supported and pushed, not BF yet I still felt upset about stopping because I hadn't been given the help to try other things, I enjoyed BF and I did feel for him personally BF would have been better for him. So my feeling bad about not being able to BF any longer was nothing to do with anyone making me feel guilty or bad for not BF because if anything I was being made to feel guilty/bad for BF him to begin with and only got praise and patted on the back when I switched to formula. 90% of women who switch to formula in one survey said it was before they wanted to and in many cases it was due to being told wrong information about BF, I just don't know how you think that can be right or fair? BF has an emotional side that is instinctive nothing to do with society and it is undeniable that some women do regret not BF later on and that is their right to feel that way, they are not saying formula is bad but they would have just preferred to have made the choice to BF at the time. And I never said I wanted to force anyone or bully anyone into choosing BF, not OP not anyone else, nor do any of my posts here suggest that and I don't know how many more times I can make that bloody clear. Which part of we completely support the OP in her choice but should she still want to BF it is possible-and that really is all. is being misconstrued as 'all women must BF and those that don't their babies will turn out to be stupid, illiterate, ill miserable little things because they are feeding their child that rat poison'. I have FF myself, 99.9% of my family and friends FF. I have even helped some friends/family make the decision to FF from birth as that was what was really best for them; but it was an informed choice based on correct information. I am really starting to think maybe i don't speak English for 30 years like I thought I did, and my first language is something completely different and I have been typing something totally different than what I actually did xx

 

[sinead266]

feeling sad could be put down to baby blues or post natal depression

 

[summer rain]

There are plenty of women without any type of depression who have feelings of regret or sadness about not BF, tell me why do you bother to BF if you feel there is no benefit in it whatsoever? Because you obviously do feel there is something to it, of some type and some type of emotional draw. Many women want to BF from being little girls even if they were FF themselves and never saw BFing, it is an instinctive thing in many cases, nothing to do with postnatal depression or baby blues. But clearly women who later regret not BF are stupid and are formula haters-that must be the REAL explanation for their feelings, eh? But what do I know I am clearly a man according to you xx

 

[sinead266]

im breastfeeding because my baby is use to it and wont take a bottle, yes their is benefit to it but at the minute anywhere i go the baby goes as im the only one that can feed him, another thing that you never hear when people are promoting bf.

 

[summer rain]

You seem to have a lot of venom towards BFers and women who wished they could BF but were unable to, not sure why? Its not their fault you don't enjoy BF or don't think it is worth it. And I am not responsible for how BFing is promoted by various governments either-when I give women info on BF I certainly do let them know that a BF baby may not be keen on taking a bottle and other things that may be viewed as drawbacks by some. I have personally found and yes those dreaded studies as well that most partners and grandmas don't help out with feeds anyway so other people being able to feed the baby doesn't necessarily mean they actually will do in practice, all mine would take a bottle but the amount of feeds actually given by others was maybe 2 or 3 in their whole life, I didn't really bother to express with this baby xx

 

[henrysmumkaz]

This thread has made me lose the will to live.

I hated breastfeeding so I expressed. Hated that too but kept it up for three months because I felt I had to. It was tiring, frustrating and upsetting. A chore. Every second that I wasn't with my son, I was hooked up to a pump. I felt disgusting. Like a bloody dairy cow. I used to wake up dreading the day ahead because of the pressure of it all.

I neither breastfed or expressed with my recent arrivals - twin girls. I wasn't putting myself through that hell again.

Thats just me though. I wholeheartedly support those who breastfeed and indeed express. I can't understand how anyone can enjoy it but I am very jaded!! I accept people do and I'm glad they do!! HOWEVER I do not accept people preaching and throwing 'statistics' at other ladies in a bid to make them change their minds about their decision to stop breast feeding. Whether you intend to or not, you make them feel bad and pressurised to keep at it. I know this because I was in the same situation!

IF someone is unsure about switching to formula, by all means, go and help them. Better still, to you in particular summer rain as you seem very knowledgable, why don't you make a career out of it! The ladies here in the formula feeding section certainly do not need to read all of your information. They are formula feeding for a reason, whatever that may be. If they want to know stuff about breastfeeding, they can go to the relevant section.

Breast feeders are not superior to formula feeders and I do wish I didn't keep reading this holier than thou attitude. Bunch of dicks.

 

[Vickie]

Thread closed.

It is going in circles with the same arguments being rehashed over and over. Plus I've seen a few posts (including name calling) that really aren't acceptable