Maeve Louise 14/09/2010

[MaevesMummy]

I have asked for counselling I think I need to empty all this anger on someone who wont get upset.
I have heard from the hospital and have a date in December for the results.
Thank you for all your kind words.
I am so sorry we all have this awful thing in common.
I have been throwing myself into something I feel passionate about. Medical Terminology being used on bereaved parents. I am aware it happens in all 3 trimesters which is appalling but I am just working on my experience.
I dont know about anyone else that lost their baby naturally in the second trimester but I cant stand my little girl being called a miscarriage. I would feel the same if she was born sleeping. Poor Lily Allen has been refered to as having a miscarriage as well, its made me feel even stronger. These are our children.
Let me know if you want to join me in this, I wont go on about it though I dont want to offend anyone.
Thank you again.
xxxxxx

 

[babyno9]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. ((hugs))

 

[raisin]

I have asked for counselling I think I need to empty all this anger on someone who wont get upset.
I have heard from the hospital and have a date in December for the results.
Thank you for all your kind words.
I am so sorry we all have this awful thing in common.
I have been throwing myself into something I feel passionate about. Medical Terminology being used on bereaved parents. I am aware it happens in all 3 trimesters which is appalling but I am just working on my experience.
I dont know about anyone else that lost their baby naturally in the second trimester but I cant stand my little girl being called a miscarriage. I would feel the same if she was born sleeping. Poor Lily Allen has been refered to as having a miscarriage as well, its made me feel even stronger. These are our children.
Let me know if you want to join me in this, I wont go on about it though I dont want to offend anyone.
Thank you again.
xxxxxx

So sorry for your loss. I lost mine in July although it was much earlier and was a mc for me it was still my son or daughter and calling it a miscarriage wont change that either. Sending you love and hugs

 

[MaevesMummy]

Hi Rasin,
Sorry to hear you have suffered a loss too. Emotionally the same but physically different.
I wasnt saying my loss is worse or anything like that, its just physically different.
I hope you were treated with respect, sadly I know many are not. I am hoping someone with experience of this can do the same as me.
Hopefully if anyone listens to me, it will be one small step to people recognising this as life, not just a "fetus"
xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[cla]

Omg that's a fantastic idea and I will sign it tomorrow.
I lost my baby at 17weeks and it hurts to say it was a mc.
When I tell people I had a mc they say I'm sorry because they think I was only a few weeks gone , but when I say 17weeks there faces change.
If you have to give birth to a baby I don't class that as a mc xxx

 

[special_kala]

I am so sorry for your loss sweetheart xxxxxx

 

[kiwimama]

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the horrendous treatment you got given by the healthcare professionals.

 

[iloveblue]

I completly agree with you Maevesmummy.
When my GP filled out my sick note for work he wrote 'recent miscarriage' - to me that does not sum up what we've been through.
I have signed your petition.
I'm glad they are sorting out some counselling for you - i hope it helps x

 

[marnie79]

im so sorry hun for the loss of ur daughter and how the hosp treated u xx

 

[MaevesMummy]

Thank you for your kind words. I am yet again shocked and saddened by how many people go through this.
Just in case anyone was thinking I am saying miscarriage in first trimester is not as emotionally painful, I am not. A life is a life and always a baby to parents.
Its just physically different past a certain point.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Suze]

I just wanted to read your story about beautiful Maeve. I'm so sorry for your loss, it's just not fair at all and floaty to Maeve

 

[MaevesMummy]

I have come to the conclusion having seen how many people suffer this that life just isnt fair. I like to think she is protected from all the evil & sadness in the world though.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Suze]

She is, and she's with all the other babies who were too special for this world

I just noticed you lost her on the 14th of September, I lost Joe on the 14th of August

 

[secretbaby]

(((hugs))) so sorry to hear of the loss of Maeve. I can answer in some part some of your questions, the following maybe upsetting but if I tell you my story it may help. My waters went without warning at 20.6 weeks - I was hospitalised and told I would go into labour within 24 - 72 hours and for the first time of many offered a TFMR. I remember talking to the pedeatrician (sorry cant spell it) when I got to 23 week... we felt we were on borrowed time having got this far - (this is the bit that may be upsetting) he told me that they if babies are born under 24 weeks the midwife assesses them - if she think they look older than expected i.e by dates they think baby is 22 weeks but it is born looking more like 24 weks they call the pedeatricians and try and resuss the baby. The same if true on the opposite side. He said the reason they don't resuss babies under 24 weeks if because they can't - the breathing tubes are as small as they can possibly been but still too big for babies under 24 weeks. He also said alot about intensive intervention the hurt it can cause the baby and the long term prognosis of a 23 weeker if they could revive/keep them alive (he himself had been a doctor to one 23 weeker who survived). It was a VERY hard and a conversation that cause me specifically so much pain, hearing these harsh words - but the pedeatrician was lovely, but what he said was his opinon as the head guy. He agreed that if he was called to our baby before 24 weeks he would come and personally asses the baby but he could not gurantee his collegues were. So often they do nothing cause they can't - I can not even imagine how hard that was to go through and my heart went out to you reading Maeves birth story.

Our son William (Billy) was born at 27.1 weeks (the magic date I was trying to get to was 27 weeks) but for our son it was no avail, his lungs weren't developed enough, he did not cry, I heard him gasp but he did not cry, and he lived 4 hours after birth.

PPROM is absolutely devestating and the devestation for me was made worse due to the lack of information on the condition and the lack of understanding of it - Kym marsh lost her baby arcie to it as well. I have done so much reserach into PPROM and think I have read everything there is out there about it as I said not much out there - I had none of the warning signs. The one thing I was lucky with was that the hospital was very helpful (I was in there 6 1/2 weeks) which did make things easier. I can't think of anything else they said at the moment that might be of any use. I know that they told me that me having pprom was just 'one of those things' in someways it helps in someways it doesn't.

I hope this reply is o.k as I don't want to cause you more pain but thought it may help to know what i was told.

((hugs))
Anita

 

[MaevesMummy]

So sorry that you have suffered PPROM too, it did help. Painful reading, Its horrible knowing others have suffered this too.
It answered my questions about why they did nothing.
I know what caused my PPROM, I believe it was bleeding caused by a clotting disorder.
I am waiting for a formal confirmation of this, but I have Lupus and suffered with some terrible bleeds, almost hemmorages from early on. Every time I begged them to tell my Lupus consultant and do some coag tests, every time they ignored me, untill clots and blood popped my waters at 18 weeks, far to early for her little lungs to develop.
I am so sorry for your loss and thank you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[carolyn_s]

so sorry for you loss my thoughts are with you xx

 

[Ahren]

So sorry for your loss x

 

[MaevesMummy]

Thank you.
Now know what caused it but shouldt really they made a mistake, they sent me a copy of the PM with my copy notes very distressing, been in a bad place since. x

 

[lauralora]

so sorry hun xx

 

[MummyToAmberx]

So sorry to hear that

Which hospital was this?