male midwives?

[teamandy]

I also have a male OB and I find him better than the female dr I was originally seeing.

At one point, I had booked an emergency appointment because I thought something was wrong with me because of terrible back contractions. When I saw her, she literally seemed to roll her eyes and be bored with my "panic" because she herself was pregnant and I felt like she was like "oh get over it, its not that bad".

With my new male OB, even though he knows when things are normal, he'll at least look empathetic and listen to my concerns first before dismissing them.

 

[dlj2]

For me personally I'd rather a woman as is feel more relaxed myself. But if needs must then I wouldn't worry too much I had male Dr deliver and stitch me up last time and he was very lovely and obviously professional but yest my preference would be a woman.x

 

[elsbethrenee]

Due to cultural reasons and a history of sexual assault, I don't hire any male physicians (or any other profession who is going to be alone in a room performing a physical exam on me). I also know that a huge proportion of women in the US have been sexually assaulted by men (conservative estimates place it at 1 in 6), and that many of those women would be highly uncomfortable at the least with a male OB or midwife. Most doctor search websites for my area have a gender selection option along with languages spoken, etc.

My first gynecologist was a man; he treated my mother and grandmother, as well, and thought that it would be funny to scare 12yo me by pulling out the biggest speculum before my first pelvic exam. My grandmother was friends with one of the nurses, and later joked with her other friends about the incident - meaning that my medical confidentiality was violated.

I have also had female GYNs behave inappropriately during exams, but it's at least been normal I'm-a-terrible-doctor stuff - getting upset when I don't think they're the end-all-be-all of expertise on my body, trying to make me feel ashamed of my body, etc. Pretty standard for the doctors in my city (most of whom have graduated from the same med school).

I can see other folks being cool with male midwives and OB's, and I don't think they should be barred from the profession, but it's definitely not for me.

 

[redneckhippy]

I used to think I would only want a female OB but after going through fertility treatments then a complicated first trimester, I'm now pretty comfortable spreading them for everyone!

The things we go through....

 

[Eleanor ace]

Wouldn't bother me. I had a male paramedic observe my last birth as he needed to be at a high risk birth as part of of his training. I was more than happy for him to be there as I know that if I ever have to deliver in the back of an ambulance or with a paramedic in another place I'd want them to know what to do! I felt a little embarassed at first but then reminded myself that he was seeing me in a medical ligt, nothing sexual about it.

 

[Gingerspice]

I went in with bleeding and they said a dr would need to examine me. He was male. His words 'while i'm in here, (his hand up my doodah) i'll give you a sweep'

despite thinking i'd find men being down there weird, it's just another patient to them.

 

[sheebee]

I had a male midwife with Ds and he was amazing!! Although he and dh chatted a lot about football during the quieter times - actually, on reflection, I think that might've helped dh feel more involved in some ways!

 

[sethsmummy]

ive no preference although men tend to be a lot more gentle than women my consultant is male and so was the ones i had with ds1 and ds2 .. i didnt mind in the slightest.

 

[amyleigh89]

I find I get on with men better. I feel less judged and like they are way less bitchy. When you have a baby you have to leave all reservations at the door in my opinion. The amount of hands I had up there when having DD was unreal! X

 

[katherinegrey]

I have to say I'd be uncomfortable with a male midwife. Not because of their gender necessarily or I'd automatically assume because they were male they were incompetent, but just because it's not 'the norm'.
I had a male trainee sonographer early in my pregnancy, and due to my retroverted uterus he said he recommended a transvaginal scan, and did I mind him doing it or would I prefer the female overseeing him. I'm actually ashamed to say I opted for the lady. I felt awful afterwards, because it was honestly more due to him being a trainee and none too gentle with the abdominal scan than it was due to him being male. I thought if anyone is messing around down there when I'm newly pregnant and my uterus is already making it hard to see, I want someone to know what they're doing!
I had a male sonographer the other week for my growth scan, and I thought 'it's unusual for a man to be doing this', but thought nothing more of it. He was very lovely and professional, so even if I'd felt uncomfortable at first, I'd have soon been at ease.
I think I'd be the same with a male midwife, whilst I'd initially be uncomfortable, provided they were good at their job and professional I'd get over it really quick.

 

[sethsmummy]

I find I get on with men better. I feel less judged and like they are way less bitchy. When you have a baby you have to leave all reservations at the door in my opinion. The amount of hands I had up there when having DD was unreal! X

haha this is so true! When i was having ds2 someone asked if I minded them having a look down there and i was like "nah i lost all dignity on that one after having my first" ... lol id had around 20 different sets of hands/eyes down there by the time i was finished in theatre with ds1 both male and female.

 

[MrsPear]

I have to say I'd be uncomfortable with a male midwife. Not because of their gender necessarily or I'd automatically assume because they were male they were incompetent, but just because it's not 'the norm'.
I had a male trainee sonographer early in my pregnancy, and due to my retroverted uterus he said he recommended a transvaginal scan, and did I mind him doing it or would I prefer the female overseeing him. I'm actually ashamed to say I opted for the lady. I felt awful afterwards, because it was honestly more due to him being a trainee and none too gentle with the abdominal scan than it was due to him being male. I thought if anyone is messing around down there when I'm newly pregnant and my uterus is already making it hard to see, I want someone to know what they're doing!
I had a male sonographer the other week for my growth scan, and I thought 'it's unusual for a man to be doing this', but thought nothing more of it. He was very lovely and professional, so even if I'd felt uncomfortable at first, I'd have soon been at ease.
I think I'd be the same with a male midwife, whilst I'd initially be uncomfortable, provided they were good at their job and professional I'd get over it really quick.

I don't think you should be ashamed because it's important to be comfortable to be able to ask for what you want. I know trainees have to learn but it can be very nerve-wracking for you as the patient and they will have plenty more to learn from. Even though I would not be bothered with a male midwife, I think healthcare is one area where it's okay to admit you are more comfortable with one sex or the other. Especially like on PP says if you've had an awful experience in the past, like being sexually assaulted (even if it wasn't within a healthcare setting). In fact I admit I'd probably find it easier to ask for a female doctor if I was going to the GP for an intimate reason, I'd just feel less embarrassed when I first blurted it out.

Everyone has interesting responses! Most people seem not to mind either way, which is what I was expecting really. I think for the majority of us just seem to have a lot more on our minds during pregnancy (and especially labour) than the sex of the midwife so it pales into insignificance a lot.

 

[Tasha]

I had a male mw years ago, he was fab and I've had loads of male obs over the years, some have been great others not so good, just like the female mw's and obs I have had.

Actually the two most compassionate healthcare professionals I've come across when I had firstly Honey stillborn and then Riley Rae were men. Perhaps coincidence, but they both made a huge difference to me when I was going through the worst time of my life.

 

[Perplexed]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a male ob or midwife. I went to a male for my breast surgery yrs ago and had male drs doing my breast ultrasound.

I prefer a female ob/midwife for my pregnancy concerns.

 

[MrsPear]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a male ob or midwife. I went to a male for my breast surgery yrs ago and had male drs doing my breast ultrasound.

I prefer a female ob/midwife for my pregnancy concerns.

Yes that's a good point I had surgery by a male breast surgeon a few years ago (I didn't have breast surgery but that was his speciality). The vast majority of the specialist breast surgeons there were male, so I guess most people wouldn't have had much choice on that ward. They did usually take female nurse escorts into the consulting rooms though and weren't alone examining patients so that might make patients feel a bit at ease. x

 

[MrsKChicago]

I don't see how a male midwife would be any different from a male OB. I personally prefer to have any womanly care done by women, but I've had paps from a male GP in the past, and it was really no big deal. Given the choice between two equally competent providers, I'd take the woman, but I also wouldn't hesitate to choose a male provider if I felt he'd do a better job.