March Mamas 2012 Baby Group (Closed Group)

[mitchnorm]

Its soul destroying and now i feel guilty for putting her upstairs but that what we have to start doing i guess..wondering if its too early??!! She is around us all day getring cuddles and playtime.....its only the evening that we want to start getting some routine.....its sooo hard. Anyway i shall not feel guilty...we are doing the best job we can with no instruction booklet ha ha. I think emera should write one...i would buy it

has anyone else started evenin routines...bath/massage/feed and bed in their baskets in bedroom while they are elsewhere with monitor? We were planning to start at 4 weeka but thought we would roadtest on a weekend first

 

[lozza1uk]

Don't have the routine but we do put him upstairs at night while we're downstairs and use the monitor, and during the day sometimes, however, as he doesn't self settle we put him down fast asleep so he doesn't really know where e is. Guess its different if M is self settling on her own?

 

[mitchnorm]

Sometimes yes and sometimes no lozza....i typically rock M a little after a feed and try and get her drifting off...sometimes she is asleep when we put her in.basket or carycot and sometimes she wakes slightly then settles herself. Sometime i put her down sleepy but not asleep by any means and she can settle herself.

We are not planning to bath everynight...but try and put her down 7:30-8 if we can...after a change/ feed. Tonight.we skipped bath and hubby gave her a little oil/lavender massage instead

She has woken crying once and hubby went to settle her..so she doesnt sniff out milk on me and want feeding. Plannibg to.head to.bed 10:30 ish.and pick.her up for a sleepy feed

 

[Glowstar]

City thanks for the birth story sounds like it all went well and your Dr was very co-operative and listened to you

Loo/Mitch/Lozza - I think associating you with food is one of the pitfalls of BF I remember it with DD2 comfort sucking....was very tiring one of the main reasons at 41 I decided to give it a miss this time...other factors too but probably one of the main ones. Mitch have you tried Mam dummies? I also noticed Boots had some really fancy ones...a French name I think Sauv???? something, the teat looked quite small on those. I'm not a massive fan of the cherry teats...they look massive Jacob seems to like the Avent ones and the Mam ones.

Lozza - I have an Avent manual breast pump you are more than welcome to....it'd third hand but in good working order...understand if you don't want it though

Loo - glad the outlaws have shipped out and the card is a lovely gesture. You're under massive pressure at the moment and not even in your own environment which must be so hard. I am sure things will get better when you are in your own house surrounded by your own things. I know I keep offering but I'm not far away only a 10 minute drive

 

[Widger]

Oh girls I'm with you.... But for me it continues in the middle of the night too.

When I was looking up about wind in babies etc, I came across this blog. Now, in a way it was slightly depressing reading it as it offers no solutions in the short term but in another it actually made me feel a little better knowing that it is normal behaviour, nothing I can do about it but ultimately it WILL stop.

I'm on phone so can't copy and paste so hope I've got link ok:
https://breastfeedingqueries.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/gone-with-the-wind/

What do you think?

I know that D was an amazing sleeper but so grisly during the day but that did change by month four.... hoping for a change sometime sooner than that though.

Edit - loxza could never get anything out of an electric pump but Manuel avwnt one was amazing. I was a real milking machine. Haven't tried this time yet

 

[Glowstar]

Absolutely no routine here just go with the flow really. We haven't bathed J yet only because cord only came off yesterday but plan to start bating tomorrow, probably every other night. We probably take J up when we go to bed around 10pm-ish. I don't think I'd settle him not being in same room as me yet although obviously at various points of the day I do leave him to do housework etc.

J woke up with a sticky eye this morning, I can't use breast milk so have been bathing it with cooled boiled water using one wipe of cotton wool. Hope it clears as taking him into work on Wednesday and want him to look his best

 

[mitchnorm]

Glow...was looking for mams but the boots i.went to was a little small..they didnt have will check.out a larger one. Yeah the cherry teats were as big...need prem baby ones or something cos she still is fairly small...bless.

Mmmm perhaps at the age of 38 (39 next month) i should have stuck to.my original ff preference...though to.be honest i.find bf'ibg sooo easy but the comfort sucking, association with milk thing gets you down. I dont want to switch but am torn

 

[Glowstar]

Mitch - if you look at the MAM website https://www.mamuk.com/...go to the Soother section and on the left hand menu they do a Preemie selection of Soothers....you can order online too Or the MAM Perfect which is 60% thinner and made of softer latex.

 

[emera35]

Dummys, the cherry teats are squishy, so they look huge but they squish! I have a sauvinex dummy glow, I got it as the teat looked small like you said. F won't take anything but the avent ones t seems though and even then only when she feels like it. She's really not fussed!

Lol Mitch I'd love to be able to write a manual for looking after a newborn, but I think there is a reason there isn't a comprehensive one already, and that's because every baby is different! F is so different to Roh! He was really quiet at this stage, hardly cried at all, loved his dummy and fed gently and briefly and slept a lot (after 3 months old he was a different story,but hey! ). F is greedy, feeds like made and chokes herself by sucking too hard and getting too much milk, hates dummies mostly, sleeps sometimes and cries often and REALLY loudly!

The crying for long periods thing is pretty normal sadly, Roh didn't do it, but we've had some bad evenings/nights with F. I might know a lot of tricks to get wind out of a baby and make them more comfortable, but we still have the hours of whinng/crying and discomfort when it gets trapped. I often wonder if its actually the winding that helps or if it would sort itself out if I just let her lay on the bed the whole time?
I know my SIL still had the same issues as you describe with my niece but not so much with my nephew and she FF so I'm not sure that how you feed makes a lot of difference, although she was maybe unlucky with my niece? who knows?

One thing is for sure, we are all in the same boat and having the same experiences, so it must be pretty normal. It also helps for me that I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I think that having a toddler to focus on in the daytimes helps to stop me obsessing too much about how F is doing.

My girly is making me laugh this evening I fed her and popped her in her basket and left her n the bedroom with OH as o've jad a load of paperwork to do for the management company for our building, which I run(because I have THAT MUCH free time!!) anyway she went off to sleep, but every 10 mins was waking up crying. I'd go settle her again, and then same thing 10 mins later again OH came through with her saying he thought she was hungry as she was peckng at him. Anyway, she had about 3 sucks and passed out cold on my lap put her down, awake after 5 mins asking for boobie again. So back on 3 sucks and zzzzz!!
Guess she just wants to be near me this evening. Bless, how can I begrudge her that? She's so sweet, if she wants a cuddle then she can have one. I can't help thinking, our babies are still sooo little! Its such a shame that our society expects us to somehow 'train' them not to need us this early, an so then f they don't sleep happily alone through the night bu a fewmonths old then we feel like we've failed and there is something wrong with our parenting F is so small and helpless, she needs me, and I feel wrong if I don't submit to that need. So here I st with a beautiful sleeping girl on my lap, and no paperwork done. What can you do?

 

[loolindley]

Glowie :thanks: will defo pop over soon for a catch up and a change of scenery. That'd be lovely. xx

Mitch. We have had a really unsettled day/evening. She will not be put down in her basket and screams until we pick her up again. In fact she has screamed like she is being attacked the past few times I have put her down in her crib. I'm not winning tonight at all.

 

[MissyBlaze]

Widget, great article. I also clicked another link and read that. Really interesting. I've thought a few times about over stimulation . Quite often t will cry and cry and then when I just put him in my chest and come on here he goes straight off.

Totally agree emera, sometimes they just need us.

 

[Glowstar]

I know you've probably tried EVERYTHING Loo but do you have a swaddling blanket. J really seems to like his, It's a Blanket and Beyond one with velcro and made of fleece. He weirdly seems to settle much better in it than any other blankets.

Emera - Thanks for that! couldn't remember the name of those Soothers J is same, not overly fussy for dummy but will sometimes take it. I only really try him with it when he is fighting sleep. I agree, they do need us a lot at this stage. It is totally draining at times though and such a HUGE life changing experience to have one little person so dependent on you, especially when they can't tell you what they want/need! It's a process of elimination a lot of times. I feel quite lucky this time as J is such a patient baby, hardly ever cries and settles himself. I realise this may all change by tomorrow so all we can do as Mothers is work with our babies the best we can, there is never any right or wrong.
Unfortunately some babies just cry I know my Mum said I'm lucky to be alive I was according to her a complete nightmare!

 

[emera35]

Haha! Glow your poor mum!! I was the same as you apparently! You are right its such a massive thing to have a little person be sooo dependant on you for everything, quite frightening and also sort of claustrophobic, if you know what I mean? But sooo rewarding too! We just have to solider on through this first bit.

Widger GREAT article. Its all the same principle as my favourite baby book, called Baby Sense. I sent my copy to Kymied for her secret stork present, but its all about overstimulation. I used it a lot last time round, if you can get hold of it then I strongly recommend it. Its nothing like the more mainstream baby books and helped me lots!

 

[loolindley]

Yep Glow. She s all swaddled up.

After bath, massage, feeding her twice in an hour, cuddles, sleep sheep, swaddle, walking around bouncing and getting nothing in return but agonising screams I eventually relent and go and ask my mum for help. She takes her off me, lays her down in crib and gets her to sleep all in the space of 3 minutes. Cue massive sobs from me. Why can't I do that? Why can't I settle and soothe my own daughter?

 

[loolindley]

Just read that article Widge. Really interesting. Going to go through it again in the night when I'm a bit calmer and thinking straight.

Right really ought to take advantage of D sleeping. She'll be wanting me again in a bit. Nos da. x

 

[wouldluvabub]

Loo what about some skin to skin when she's screaming???? Have you tried that???

 

[emera35]

Loo its very very stressful hearing your baby crying, because all you want to do is make them happy and fix whatever is bothering them. Problem is they pick up on your stress so it becomes a cycle, the more stressed you get the more upset and stressed they get, then you get more upset and stressed... Anyway, sometimes babies need a change of scenery/person as much as we do. Probably after gettng herself in a tizz and then you feeling bad because you can't help and getting upset along with D, your mum is a change, and also she'll be a lot calmer than you by that point, so its much easier for her to soothe D as she's not been coping with it for hours, and she's had a lot more sleep than you, so is more patient and less frustrated. You, aren't doing anything wrong if D crying didn't upset and stress you out you'd be a bit mentally disturbed, so don't think its your fault. Best thing if you feel your stress levels increasing is exactly what you did, ask your mum to help and have a bit of time out. If you were at home alone I'd suggest putting D somewhere safe (like her crib) and then going outside for 5 minutes and taking deep breaths of fresh air to clear your head. I had to do that most days with Roh! Have a feeling I'll be doing it plenty in the future!!

 

[citymouse]

Interesting article, Widger, thanks! I wonder if that could explain why G fusses so much when DH takes her after a feed. He talks to her a ton and she just gets fussier and fussier. It makes me feel bad for him, because the sound of her cries really gets to him.

Hope Loo is getting some nice sleep.

I want to go downstairs and sew another flannel sheet for the bassinet but the baby is asleep in her stroller and I don't want to wake her up! I guess I could put on the monitor and take the dog down with me. I made one flannel sheet yesterday and it seems to work great for keeping her from being jolted awake by the cold cotton sheet when we out her down. Unfortunately she's peed on that one today, lol.

Actually it's time for a feed so maybe I should wake her up? The eternal question... She never wants to eat if I wake her up during the day. Then I just have a pissed off baby on my hands.

 

[wondertwins]

Widge, thanks for the article.

City, great birth story. I still need to type mine out before iforget it!!

Skadi, sounds like a great shower.

Routine? Hahahahahahaha. We are so far from routine that I never even know what time of day it is unless I check my watch. Bathtime is often the middle of the day. The only consistent thing we have going for us is that both boys know the difference between night and day so even if they wake up a lot at night, the will go back to sleep after eating.

Last night Baby K slept with my MIL. She fed him expressed milk. I took care of Baby P... feeding from one breast while pumping from the other. It's amazing how much more sleep I got by only feeding one baby. It was heavenly! Thank goodness my boys are flexible. They nurse, take pacifiers, and bottles (with both EBM and F). Otherwise I would be miserable and even more exhausted.

The boys are doing great. Theyve started to smile and really interact. So cute!!

 

[KellyC75]

Just popping in to say :wave: Hello!

Much as I adore the newborn/small baby age.....I cant wait for sleeping through the night ~ Bring it on already!