*~* May 2013 - Spring Babies*~* 117 Jelly Babies - 22 Boy's & 19 Girl's - 5 Babies :D

[kezziek]

Whoops sorry double post. My phones being strange.

Also I do apologise for my many grammatical and spelling errors, I just can't type very well on my phone xxxx

 

[CupcakeBaby]

Ooh where was that from Hann? X

 

[Hann12]

It was on baba me but they don't seem to be doing the inserts and the wraps for £7.50 now, they seem to just have wraps for that.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Cupcake I just bought them off eBay... When I spotted them there were ending very soon, so I just put a bid on and won them... Courier is collecting them tomorrow, as the seller wouldn't take to post office for me lol.. So hopefully there alright

 

[Sass827]

Wonderful pictures LP! I'd say jenson has your lips for sure!
Parents and in laws are so tough. I think we will keep our birth a Secret until we are ready for company too. Or at least I hope DH will.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

im buggered on the birth front, everyone knows when im going in for 100% bluerghhhhh

although this time my mum is coming down to theatre with me (Lee's choice/decision) to be honest i would rather my mum, hes abit panicky when it comes to newborns and people watching and also he finds it hard to dress them, and obviously i wont be able to dress her etc and my mum is a whizz with babies lol oh and he hates hospitals!!! i mean with absolute passion, with ashton (youngest) i had him at 12:16pm and he helped get him dressed, as i couldnt... then he took a picture and went!!! so for about 3-4 hours it was just me and ashton... me stuck in bed having to buzz the midwifes every time ashton was crying etc... Im wanting to breastfeed from the word go so i know my mum will be quite happy to stay all day with us and help

But only my mum, the boys and lee will be coming up to the hospital on the 23rd and then anyone else can come the next day or wait till when i get home lol its tough if they dont like it lol

 

[lpjkp]

It must be such a lovely thing knowing exactly when your little girl will arrive babee! With all the trouble that we've had with families that hate each other etc, we're a little stuck on what to do when the time comes...my mom keeps insisting in front of my husband that i "won't cope" without her, and that she NEEDS to come stay, no matter how much I tell her that is NOT going to happen and that myself and DH will cope just fine!

Then the whole argument about visiting after Jenson arrives stresses me out...we both live a couple of hours away from family, so they'll have to travel a couple of hours to visit him. But, with having two dogs, a cat, and having to adjust both them, us and Jenson to a little family routine, I don't want people staying overnight and interfering with that. It makes our family angry though when we try and explain that to them nicely? I just don't want to be up all hours of the night and have to tread lightly and not be able to sit on my own sofa because someone else is lying on it! Grrrrr, who knew that having a baby would end up so complicated?! lol x

 

[Babee_Bugs]

It is nice to know, but then its also like :O because thats it! thats when shes getting evicted from the oven and just knowing the date, makes it all of a sudden feel like its just round the Corner :/ its just strange lol

See i can understand why your Mom is saying that you will need her... Well not her in a sense of her as a person because shes your mom... but you will need Someone and if DH is going to be at home with you for first initial days/weeks, thats all you will need. Im very lucky in the sense that both of our families live in the same town and my granda lives 3 doors down and my mum lives round the corner lol.. when i had my 2nd son, she was an absolute godsend!, i would be wiped out after being up all night, so she would take him out for a walk abit of fresh air, whilst i got some sleep... Even this time round she has already said to me, look ive took a week off work... because (my OH is self employed, but it subcontracted to work specific hours and on wednesday, thursday and friday he cant pick the boys up from school) so my mum said she will help to pick them up as OH can take them on the morning. I said to her oh dont do that, you need the hours to work and she was like well you arent exactly going to be able to walk to the school to get them after you've had a section... and shes right.

But if she had to stay with us for a few days or the In laws had too... i would have to put my foot down!

Everyone assumes you have a baby and its all sweet, lovely, idillic blah blah... yeh right!!!! You feel like utter SHIT, your drained from being a wake at night, so generally your ratty to begin with, your bleeding down there like you wouldnt believe!!! its not nice(many of knickers and pj bottoms were ruined!)... Then your constipated because your sooo scared to just go to the toilet... Your boobs are leaking everywhere, everything sticks to those (breast pads are a must lol).. Then you have to contend with a baby that can projectile vomit EVERYWHERE and those pesky boys can pee like you wouldnt believe and its usually either all over you or all over themselves...

so with all that to contend with... believe me the last thing you will need to people to stay with you, because everything is heightened emotionally etc... it will annoy the life out of you.. If Layla went on to have babies i would never ever suggest to stay with her, if she asked me fine... but i would never say to her that i want too even if i had to a 8 hour round driving trip... Maybies your mom has forgotten those initial days/first week when everything is new and strange/borderline stressful... its great shes willing to help you, but to be honest i think it would hinder your ability to use your mother instinct, if other people kept muddling in all the time you will never be able to learn on your own and learn to see what works and what doesnt...

I say that from personal experience, i lived with my mum when i had my oldest till he was 18 months old... my mum and nana took over really, i dont think there meant to do it, but it was sort of like well we've had children before so we know what were doing etc and often got told, do this that way or do that this way etc... but all that did was push me out and not feel connected to my son, and when i had my second son we had our own home that time and it honestly felt like i never had a baby before, because my mum and nana just took over the first time... so it was a whole new learning curve for me.


oooppps ive just blabbered on and on ahhaa... what i was trying to say is, Having a newborn to begin with isnt Glamourous its very far from it and its Hard... But if you rely on other people to help out at the beginning your missing out on that vital bonding and learning the ropes from scratch... If you dont want people to come and stay etc... That is totally your choice and people will have to respect it

 

[Babee_Bugs]

https://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h177/leannerain/P1110393_zps9391c89a.jpg

we have snow!!!!!!!! and lots of the bloody stuff aswell lol

 

[Hann12]

I felt exactly the same as you first time round LP and you should stick to your guns on it! My parents came on day 2 but stayed with my aunt and uncle who at the time lived a 20 min walk from us, then my in laws came after a week but they stayed with my BIL. I really didn't want over night guests, and actually found it all too much having my in laws there for 3 days in a row that soon after the birth. You are really emotional, my MIL interferred constantly, and at one point held my DD for 3 hours and wouldn't hand her back. It was very distressing.
Babee you have reminded me of why I def don't want them staying this time around. I was going to let them stay after about 2 weeks but even then I might find it too stressful. For me second time around is all about us forming a bond as a family and for DD not to feel put out in any way and if my inlaws are there I know they'll keep taking her away when actually I want her with me so that she doesn't feel distanced.
I think the problem is that most grandmothers to be either forget how it was for them when they gave birth, or it was very different as they tended to be in hospital for 4/5 days so had that bit of recovery time, plus their mothers probably lived down the road from them so they didn't need to worry about overnight guests. So they really lack understanding in our cases, which makes it hard!!

 

[TTCBean]

We've been discussing with family when they're allowed to visit, etc lately. I live out of country as my family, so any family that visits will have to stay here at least a week. EDD is May 5, my Dad asked if he (and my stepmom) could come June 1-8 (had to book off time at work in advance, and this time was only available near due date), so his visit isn't so bad, since we'll have about a month to adjust before his visit. But my Mom and Grandma on the other hand... they have no definite plans, but want to be here ASAP!!! and have made it clear. I told them about a million times we just want to be left alone for a week to adjust... I'd actually prefer them to just wait until June, too, but that isn't going to happen. Makes me feel really stressed. My Mom says I will need the help, but DH is going to be here (works from home) and is super helpful.... plus my Mom isn't actually helpful at all, she's sorta selfish and expects me to do a lot for her when she visits. YIKES... family! DH family lives all within 2 hours so they'll most likely come for day visits after the week mark...

 

[Hann12]

Ttc my inlaws weren't helpful at all when they visited us last time, all they wanted to do was hold DD. I was BF so had to keep leaving the room as I didn't want to feed in front of FIL or MIL for that matter. They are also REALLY fussy eaters and we had to cater for them, thankfully only for lunch but that's bad enough. They didn't help with any cleaning, food shops or anything. When my parents came they sorted out all the food each time and cooked. They even got us food for our evening meals. That's the kind if help you do appreciate! I know if my inlaws come this time every day will be a pain on what on earth we can feed them. I'll have just given birth and I'll want thing I like but instead I'd be subjected to their tastes which quite frankly are bland and boring. My FIL won't even try pizza or pasta for example and they are hardly exotic!! He sees them as foreign food.
I just can't be bothered with having to accommodate them.
Last time I said they would have to book their tickets once my DD is born but they ignored me and just booked for 10 days after due date so they landed on our doorstep when she was a week old. I hated every moment of it as MIL wanted to do everything and interferes with everything. Dreading the 'when can I come' conversation and I know it's not far off as she wants to book her train ticket 6 weeks in advance so I figure I have 6-8 weeks before it all kicks off! Fabulous!!

 

[jtink28]

my in-laws live about an hour away, so i'm sure they will be wanting to come over very often. thank goodness they both have full-time jobs still, and won't be able to just pop over. my FIL is the agressive, demanding one who just grates on my nerves. my MIL is a sweet, meek woman who is easily domineered by my FIL. I just don't want any visitors for the first few days home. they can come see me in the hospital, after the baby is born, but i want to relax and get used to having a baby!

my dad and stepmom live 2,000 miles away, and will be coming in early june to see baby. however, they are staying in a hotel when they come. (my stepmom is a NIGHTMARE, so thank goodness!) my dad is very helpful, however, and adores babies, and we are very close. my mom and sister will be coming the week after my dad, and staying with us. BUT my mom is the most helpful person ever, and i know she'll cook, clean and do laundry and basically help me with whatever. she's had 5 children, so i trust her!

ugh. in-laws. blech.

 

[TTCBean]

My Father and StepMom have never visited us before, so it's going to be interesting how it all plays out!! Not sure how they are as house guests... I am hoping they take care of themselves, get some groceries they like, etc. I can't be bothered worrying and catering!!! My StepMom is pretty gentle spoken and is clean and thoughtful so I'm hoping it all goes okay with them. My Dad is usually generous too, when we'd visit he'd take us out to eat and always make sure we were well.
My Mom on the other hand is a big baby and is demanding, not once has she paid for meals or groceries, she's not very helpful at all... she even expects me to PAY for her flight here... I don't have money to do that but she's guilt tripping me lately, throws in stabs here and there. I'm just going to have to be blunt and tell her, it's my special time with my new little family.

 

[bobbles86]

see I have the complete opposite opinion on this, it's funny how we all live differently regarding family.

we are very close with our families and I would be disappointed if both my parents and dh's didn't come to see our baby on the day/ day after he's born.

but obviously I see where you're coming from and its totally your choice, just find it interesting how we're all different

kate x

 

[StefanieC]

I count myself pretty lucky in that my MIL lives nearly 3 hours away so her visit will have to be planned which i am very glad about as her boyfriend grates on me as he is rude and intolerant and she is very overbearing and thinks she knows best about everything and smokes constantly. Luckily we won't have the room for people to stay in our flat so they will have to stay elsewhere. My FIL lives about half hour away so he won't be staying over either, we will more likely take baby to him instead as my BIL lives with him too who i get on really well with. My dad lives only an hour away but they would only visit for a few hours which is good cos we don't get on but his wife is ok. When my mom comes to visit she will stay here as she lives about 2 hours away and is so helpful, whenever she is here she does the dishes and helps with cooking and cleaning etc and she doesn't mind sleeping on the couch as she is only 5'2'', or she will bring a blow up mattress to sleep on our living room floor. Her and my DH get on really well too which is definitely a bonus as she isn't too overbearing.

 

[jtink28]

^^exact same with my mom. my DH loves my mom, so we have no qualms about her staying with us on the couch or blow-up mattress.

i WISH my in-laws lived farther away!!!!

 

[maybesoon]

I count myself extremely lucky in the inlaws section. My MIL, FIL & SIL are all amazing & stay out of everything but let me know they are there if we ever need anything. I love that. My Mom on the other hand..... She is going to be the issue. She will be the one constantly trying to tell me EVERYTHING WE ARE DOING WRONG!!!! She does this with my brother & his wife & they live over 8 hours away in Colorado!

Have any of you thought about who will be in the delivery with you other than DH? I know my MIL won't be in there & I honestly DO NOT want my Mom as she will drive me insane.

 

[jtink28]

only my husband will be in the delivery room.
i don't want anyone else seeing my business, or being a part of the magical time that is mine and my husband's when we meet our boy for the first time.

 

[StefanieC]

I think it'll be just my DH and even he is under instructions to stay near my head lol.