Well, he finally messaged me back at 1:47am.
"You hope I make your decision.
I know what my problem is, and how to fix it.
You are leaving my house, one way or another.
If you really care about me, you will leave on your own with no hassle, otherwise, I'm having my dad remove you from the house.
That's that You Brandi, are the control freak, the police seen it...
everybody sees it!! I am done with putting up with you. I am done with having no friends or family on my side. I am done with being ashamed of my own life...
You must leave. You are, and have always been the problem, and I don't even care if you get the help that YOU need."
So, I wrote back to him that I'm trying to help him, and the police were my last resort. I don't know how else to help him if he won't help himself. We both recognize he's spinning out of control, and he admitted that to the police. I went on to say I don't care if it's a hospital he gets help at, a counselling centre, or the after hours clinic, but he needs to speak to an outside, neutral third party long term to get over whatever is bothering him. He claims it's the situation surrounding Anberlin, but it only seems to bother him when we're fighting and he wants to hurt me. I don't know if it truly does still bother him, but if it does, it sure fools me. I told him that he needs help to overcome that so that he doesn't continue to get worse and end up taking his anger and frustration out on her. I told him I know that there is more bothering him than just that and I'm his most convenient target, so he's projecting his anger on me. So, I went on to explain that a third party can help him, and that I don't want to keep him from the kids. It's already breaking my heart for them to be asking for him and he's not around and he won't answer the phone, but I cannot continue to allow them to see him get so out of control. I can't allow him to continue to scream at me and them over little things, or threaten to hit me anymore. That's not fair to them, and he knows it. I ended the message by saying I'm giving him one week to make his decision on whether he seeks counselling or I'm hiring a custody lawyer and asking for supervised visitation until he gets help.
Am I really being that unreasonable?
Bizy!!!
some day we'll all be healthy again!
sounds like the typical fights with me and thomas. he used to have a huge porn addiction in the beginning of our relationship. and it's been a huge hurdle we've had to overcome in the early stages. and then his cheating and lieing. i'm just depressed now. and i hate waking up every day. of course i love the kids, but i just wish they didn't exist and i could be dead. but of course i have to eventually pull me out of it and remind myself that even though i do hate my life, i still love it, kwim? i always tell myself it's the depression talking and not me. i'm hoping as Ava gets older and Milo starts a routine of therapy and pre-school, things will be better. and i'm sure me and thomas will get better. its just really rough getting through these rough years 
love the video of Anberlin! 
luckily he woke up with no cough or runny nose. other than that, the kids have been okay today 
came over to the in-laws since they haven't been over since christmas and wont come back til the weekend. recorded Ava acting like a goof 
and then OH had a door handle with bells on it (my mom had it on for christmas and milo took it). OH had it in his mouth shaking it, she thought it was hilarious. then i was holding her and i put the bells in her hand, and she put them up to my mouth. as if she was telling me to do what OH was doing! cnat believe she'll be 8 months in a couple days!
i'm not a fan of birth control. but i definitely need to be on something to help with my PMS. it lasts for 2 weeks (the week leading up to AF, and the week of AF). so it just seems like i'm constnatly depressed. my SIL takes hormones to regulate her hormones because her doctor tested and she creates too much testosterone. which is why she was always depressed and felt the need to lash out 
Most of the time it isn't an issue, and has gotten progressively better since they were born- it's being sick and coughing that has brought it all up again. What I DO NOT like to hear is other twin/multiple moms talk about learning to live with it because it's just a side effect of having more than one in there >.< Ummmm, No thankyou???
at asking the local bum! I have issues when on a trampoline but I know my mum had a surgery
