Mayhem Babies! May 2011 mummies and babies

[BrandiCanucks]

new - He looks absolutely handsome!

 

[hopefulmama]

God I woke up in such a bad mood today, getting annoyed easily and sorta 'down' if you will. Don't know why.

 

[Wiggler]

Hopeful! I hate days like that

Anyone want a toddler, I swear he couldn't be more hyper if I had stuffed him full of sugar!

Sorry, not caught up, my lappy is updating so keeps lagging, I hope everyone is well, just popped in to say HI! Sorry I have been so unsociable recently, my anxiety is getting bad again

 

[mummy3]

New he looks so handsome

Sorry you feel down hopeful, hope you feel better soon

Wiggler Hope your anxiety passes

We just bought a little tikes 8 in 1 adjustable playground and about to try and fit all 14foot of it in our house Hopefully it will exercise the kids while its so hot.

 

[luckyme225]

Haven't been on in a few days, been insanely busy with life. We just bought a SUV this week and I had my first day back at work. Today is my first day to sit down and relax for a moment. Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[Wudluvanuva1]

Hello i'm all for parents taking "me" time too, i went out om the razz as it happens lastnight me & dh have always made sure we still had time with our friends!
We don't get much time together but a bit of a lack of baby sitters really & tbh i only really like leaving them at home with dh they do go to nanny's occasionally but not reguarly!
((Hugs Wiggler)) talk to us maybe we can help! Hope ur ok Hopeful xx

 

[Wiggler]

I don't even know what set it off, its getting bad again though, since OH's attack I rarely go out, for the year after his attack I must have left the flat maybe 10 times. I just want to feel normal, not be terrified of being out alone with the kids. I think its kicking off again cos mrs crazies spawn is due soon and I am terrified that they will kick off again, also OH has been talking about his attack a lot recently and its bringing back all the bad memories of it that I blocked out. I am going to try to take the kids to the park tomorrow on my own (I haven't taken both the kids out on my own yet apart from to the garden) Its only across the road so fingers crossed

Its odd, I am very very socially awkward in real life, I always have been, but online I am the most social person ever, but I rarely even post anywhere else on the forum or on FB atm in case poeple think I'm a twat. Fingers crossed it passes

 

[hopefulmama]

Wiggler- sounds like you have bad social anxiety disorder or maybe agoraphobia which is fear to leave the house. Have you always been like this? Or just after you had a baby? I hope it gets better. I used oto have bad social anxiety disorder, so i'd drink loads to deal with people because I worked in fashion and public relations and had to always be out plus i live in one the biggest cities in the wrld so i was forced to get over it.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I'm the same way, Wiggler. I'm very socially awkward too. In the five years I've lived here, I have made 0 friends, and the friends I have made have just, out of the blue, not wanted to be my friend anymore. They never say why, so I just don't worry about it anymore.

Online, however, I LOVE to socialize. I think it's just a fear of rejection. I was very well-liked and had tons of friends in Kindergarten to Grade 2, but then I was moved to a new school for grade 3 and bullied the whole way through. It wasn't a bullying where I was beaten up or laughed at all the time, but ignored the whole way through, and anytime I tried to join in on social activities, I was always talked over or kicked out of the circles. I spent every recess alone. There were two boys who spat on me all the time and tripped me and I scraped my hands so badly they bled and still have small scars. They never got in trouble for it, so I always felt like I was bullied by the principal. She didn't believe in suspension for bullying. The kids always got the "Jesus was spat on and it wasn't nice" speech. I was suspended a lot from Grade 6 to Grade 8 for anger outbursts at the teacher.

There was only two times I ever felt I had friends, both times in Grade 6. The first because the teacher told everyone to be nice to me while we were in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat with David Osmond (Donny's nephew) and the second because I had a subscription to a teen magazine and everyone wanted my Leonardo DiCaprio posters.

Anyway, I guess being alone all my life and being rejected through school just made me socially awkward. Dare I say, even afraid, to make friends.

And only one of those kids has ever apologized to me...

 

[Wiggler]

Hopeful - I have been like this my whole life, I was even tested for aspergers as they thought I had that due to my problems, but they said although I have symptoms, I don't have it.

Brandi - I was bullied all through school too, then my parents kicked me out and I turned to self harm/suicide attempts (haven't done it in 4 year, no plans to do it ever again. My depression is a thing of the past, fingers crossed it stays away) The only time I was ever properly social was when I was homeless, It was either hang with the old homeless men, or spend all day alone. It was hard, but I was drunk the whole time so I could deal with it.

I just want to be "normal" - girly nights out with friends, meeting people for play dates with the kids, but I only know 3 poeple, and I don't see them that often, none of them have kids

 

[hopefulmama]

New pics of Sebastien laughing and blowing spit bubbles haha

 

[Wiggler]

Awwww So cute!!!

I can't get many pics at the moment, Dylan was playing with my phone and the bit where you put the charger in is loose now so its hard to charge and I lost the mini SD converter so no memory card for my camera Going to try to get a pic of me and bethany on the webcam tomorrow, there are no proper pics of me and her together yet

 

[BrandiCanucks]

Hopeful - I have been like this my whole life, I was even tested for aspergers as they thought I had that due to my problems, but they said although I have symptoms, I don't have it.

Brandi - I was bullied all through school too, then my parents kicked me out and I turned to self harm/suicide attempts (haven't done it in 4 year, no plans to do it ever again. My depression is a thing of the past, fingers crossed it stays away) The only time I was ever properly social was when I was homeless, It was either hang with the old homeless men, or spend all day alone. It was hard, but I was drunk the whole time so I could deal with it.

I just want to be "normal" - girly nights out with friends, meeting people for play dates with the kids, but I only know 3 poeple, and I don't see them that often, none of them have kids

Sounds like our lives are quite similar. I was sexually assaulted by a 43 year old man when I was 14 and when my mom sought help from Children's Aid to get me counselling, they called her an unfit mother (for me only) and took me away, whie my brothers stayed. I spent the next two year in and out of group homes and foster homes, was forced to drop out of high school, AWOL'd from my group homes, became homeless at 18 because Children's Aid kicked me out. I even spent some time in youth jail. See, I was blamed for the sexual assault. The guy who did it got off scott-free. Why? Because I told them I was raped and because there was no penetration, I therefore lied. Who the hell at 14 knows there's a difference between rape and sexual assault? He also framed me by placing money in my backpack when I wasn't looking.

It wasn't until I was 16, a year and a half of probation and an assault charge on a group home staff into my teen years that I was finally given a chance. Rather than assume I was just a bad kid, the judge looked into my history and found out that the youth record stemmed from the sexual assault. He asked if I had ever had counselling and when I told him no, he was absolutely disgusted that a victim wasn't given help. He couldn't ignore the assault charge though, so he let me out on my own bail pending a psychiatric assessment. That assessment revealed post-traumatic stress disorder and severe depression.

I'm much better now. I spent 3 months in a custody-psychiatric facility where I received intense therapy for everything, and I haven't been in trouble yet.

Although I stayed depressed for many years after, attempting suicide, self-harming, taking my anti-depressants improper ways. It was HORRIBLE. Then I met Mike 5 years ago and things have looked up ever since...for the most part.

The sexual assault still affects me to some degree, but not like it used to. I am, for the most part, okay during the day but if Mike tries to hug me or get close to me while I'm asleep or even half-asleep, I flip. I go nuts out of fear. I just can't stand to be touched when I don't expect it.

 

[Wiggler]

Aww hun I am so glad things are looking up for you now, you are such a strong person

The main thing thats getting to me is recently Dylan is getting really cute, he likes his owies kissed better and he likes to kiss our owies better, its adorable! My arms and legs are COVERED in scars from my self harm, and Dylan recently paid attention and kissed one of the bigger scars better, I cried for ages. I knew as soon as I got pregnant that one day I would have to deal with this, but it won't be long until he is asking questions about it and apart from saying I was poorly when I was younger what do I do?

 

[BrandiCanucks]

My arms are covered. I had 293 open cuts at one time and my wrists are ruined. I once had a dentist accuse me of being psychologically unfit to parent my children because of scars I have from when I was 18.

My plan? Tell the truth. The scars are from a dark time in my life when I thought that hurting myself was the way to help me feel better. I didn't know it at the time, but it hurt me more and hurt those who loved me and those whom I loved. It's something I will never do again.

 

[Wiggler]

I just thought I had a few more years before Dylan noticed

I don't know how Bethnay is so happy with me and OH so stressed atm, she smiles all the time, it really cheers me up Dylan has decided to be a little monster recently! But he is cute with it, he likes to jump on the sofa, he loves it so much, I wouldn't even mind if our neighbors wern't such assfaces!

 

[Wiggler]

OMG! I am so annoyed with OH!! Not only did he not do the washing up, I just went into the kitchen to find my hairbrush broken, he could have told me it was broken! lazy bugger aint ever going on my laptop again!

 

[MilosMommy7]

hopeful - i honestly think i wake up mad every day. idk why. i just wake up and instantly feel anger

brandi - i was teased all the time. never really had friends. it's easier to "hide" online.

 

[Wiggler]

I've woke up feeling a bit better today, I am determined to get out with the kids today, I'll either take the kid to the bridge to see the trains, or to the park depending on how hot it is/how busy the park is. Its super hot today so won't be going anywhere til this afternoon around 4 when its cooler.

Dylan has a load of books we haven't read yet that I found hiding in my bedroom so me, him and Bethany are all going to curl up on the sofa and work through a few of them this morning

ETA: Funny moment of this morning, a HA workman came by and asked me to point out a neighbors garden so he could see the broken fence, I did that and wondered why he was looking at me weird, so I came in, looked in the mirror and realised my hair looks like I have shoved my fingers into a plug socket and my breast pad had soaked through leaving my top wet No wonder the poor bloke looked at me weird!

 

[BizyBee]

Hopeful, love the pics. What a good looking boy!

Girls, I'm sorry to hear that you've had such difficult times.