Megan stammers/jeremy forest . . .

[suzib76]

Well to me it seems quite obvious he has fallen for her and not a 'pervert' although to some may see him that way due to her age, But to give up everything and run away with a girl he knew he couldnt be with i think he loves/loved her, his messages on network sites are of a normal man who has simply fallen for someone he shouldnt have i think he went about it totally wrong but i doubt he is a bad guy.

he has fallen for her? he should NEVER EVER in a million years have had those kind of thoughts towards a child

I really dont think he groomed her and I believe she went of her own accord

His poor wife tho, the wedding pictures that have been in the paper to me he really doesnt look happy

thats what grooming is!!!! sucking them in so they 'go of their own accord'

 

[Tasha]

I said in the thread in news and debates, that if he was acting appropriately there would of been no oppurtunity for him to 'fall for her'. There should never of been a situation where he got close enough for that to happen.

 

[blueskai]

I dont get this whole "you cant help who u fall in love with" attitude towards this. He was her teacher, double her age, and married. The thought should never have even entered his head. Whos to say if it wasnt her he got onside it wouldnt have been another pupil? And to go to a country where the legal age is lowered? If it was "love" be would have waited for as long as he needed to.

Its just wrong to me, it should never have happened. I feel for the poor girl who felt she was in.love and now she'll be devastated, and its her parent that will have to pick up the pieces. She will most likely suffer at the hands of either a cruel backlash or bullies, and i feel as if her life wont be the same again, and its all down to him.

It just smacks of utterly selfish to me, on his part. I dont care whether she went of her own accord or not, she is a child.

xo

 

[TattiesMum]

I've said this on the other thread as well but I'm completely disgusted by this man.

He's 30, married and a teacher - her teacher.

He should never have been even looking at a 14 year old pupil in that way at all but instead he chose to cultivate a relationship which he knew was illegal. As Kala says 18 is the minimum age of consent where one party is in a position of authority over the other and it's 18 for a reason - because there is an imbalance of power there which can all too easily be abused.

He then physically removed her from her family, friends and whole support network - she may have 'gone willingly' but HE was the one who booked the tickets and drove... she couldn't and wouldn't have gone without him making concious decisions that he knew were wrong and illegal.

Did he think about her overall future, her welfare, her education, her emotional needs in terms of needing other people, her physical needs in terms of food and shelter? (he only had 10 euros left when they were arrested - not even enough for another night in a hotel). No - he didn't.

Did he think about her parents and family and how worried they would be? Or his family and his wife of only 17 months? No - he didn't. All he was thinking about was getting his own needs met regardless of the consequences for anyone involved - including the person he claims to 'love'.

Even now he's been caught he's not shown a single bit of remorse for all the worry and angst that he has put these people through - or indeed for the notoriety that Megan will now be labelled with. Not so much as a passing apology - just whining about how his 'fairy tale' has come to an end.

30 year olds have no business believing in fairy tales - and to have someone of that age, supposedly an educated man in a responsible job, with so little awareness of or care about how his actions have affected other people is, frankly, more than a little disturbing.

Megan is only 15 - yes some 15 year olds know their own mind and are very mature - but mature isn't running away to France with your married schoolteacher and leaving your entire family worried to death. There - right there - is the demonstration that Megan isn't a mature 15 year old but just a normal hormone driven, high drama, sucker for a love story teenager who got swept along by a man who is, to my mind anyway, immature, self obsessed, self serving, delusional and creepy.

 

[Lina]

This is pure predatory behaviour and proves that our children are not safe even at school. The age of consent is set at 18 for a reason (which I believe to be too low but that is another debate)

This isn't love, it is abuse of power, abdication of responsibility, and molestation of a CHILD.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

well said tatties mum!

 

[special_kala]

Well said tatties mum!

 

[Raggydoll]

Great post Tatties mum.

I've seen so many people excuse what the teacher has done by using examples of adult relationships with large age gaps. I think the problem isn't the age gap but her age right now.

No matter how mature she may seem how many 15 year olds really are emotionally mature enough to deal with this kind of relationship. Can a 15 year old really cope with the fall out from an affair?

I feel so bad for his wife. Her whole world has been ripped apart and broadcast in the media.

Not excusing his behaviour but I do wonder if Jeremy Forrest is going through some kind of mental breakdown.

 

[summer rain]

When it comes to teacher-pupil relationships two of my sisters used to work in education and they told me that in high school it is never ok for a teacher to have a relationship with a student at all; even if over 18 (such as in a high school with a sixth form) as far as I know its more about the type of authority over the students involved, as opposed to anything to do with age. Sixth form colleges I believe the same rules apply but adult education colleges and uni is different because the tutors/lecturers/professors are on more of an equal footing. He doesn't 'look' like a dirty old man, well I bet Jimmy Saville was quite dashing and handsome at the time he first targetted the girls he had power over and not much older than Jeremy Forrest. There are a lot of 20-30 year olds on the sex offenders register just because they are not that much older than the girls they are abusing doesn't make it ok xx

 

[lhancock90]

I am torn on this one.

I've read many reports that a 15 year old can not know what love is. But i met OH at 16 so i don't believe this.
Many 15 year olds are incredibly mature.

However,

He was her teacher, he was in a position of trust and, as an adult should have restrained himself entirely. We can't know whether they honestly fell for eachother or if it was more sinister.
I feel massively for her family and his wife.

I however, don't view him as a peadophile.

 

[Missy86]

I still dont think he is a peadophile

 

[Quackquack99]

I find Forrest being married as irrelevant in regardsw to this. He was her teacher first and foremost and he abused that position. Say if he was signle it still doesn't excuse what he has done. Yes I was mature at 15 and was in a non sexual relationship with an 22 year old. But looking back I can see how immature I was, I didn't have a clue about life or relationship and what I thought was love was not love. Luckily I had sense to not let things get further because the man I was seeing turned out to be a nasty piece of work, he had a lot of control because he was older and I was an inexperience teenager. I think what he has done is completely wrong and he has potentially ruined Megans life. Her face, picture plastered all over the media. The poor thing.

 

[suzib76]

I still dont think he is a peadophile

What is he then?

He started a relationship with this child when she was 14 years old.

Her maturity at 14 or 15 doesn't come into it. It is HIS integrity. Whether she is the maturest 15 yo in the country does not matter a jot, she is still a child and he was still in a position of trust. Not to mention wtf does a 30yo man have in common with a 15yo child? Nothing, nothing at all. She has no life experience whatsoever, I feel so sorry for her as she must feel so betrayed by everyone when the reality is HE is the one who has wronged her, not anyone else.

When I was 15 I was desperately in love with one of my teachers, I used to dream about running away together, this in itself shows immaturity. Real life isn't like that, we don't all run away, we build our lives together, in the open.

My dh is 20 years older than me, so I myself know about age difference relationships. They are 100% different to adult and child relationships.

It's true, he is not your typical paedophile praying on very young children, but he has still embarked on a relationship with a child. Whether this relationship became sexual or not is irrelevant. It's there, in her mind, he has groomed her, made her totally in love with him and willing to do anything for him, even leave the country and all her family behind.

He is fooling himself with this pish about love, that's how these people work though, they believe they are doing no wrong. Just like any other paedophile.

 

[TattiesMum]

Just out of interest ... What do those of you who say you don't think he's a paedophile think about the Jimmy Saville case?

I ask because it seems very strange to me that a lot of people who only last week were dismissive of Jeremy Forrest being attracted to a 14/15 year old, are this week disgusted by the fact that ... Jimmy Saville was attracted to 14 and 15 year olds.

Both abused the trust placed in them by the girls, by parents and by the authorities ... both pursued children (in the eyes of the law) for their own ends (be that emotional, physical or both) ... neither thought through the consequences of their actions on those children's present or future lives.

I just don't see the difference If you don't want to call it paedophilia then lets call it emotional/sexual abuse of a minor by an adult - but it's splitting hairs ... abuse is abuse is abuse and there is never an acceptable excuse.

 

[jojo_b]

He is absolutely in the wrong - there is nothing romantic or justifiable about this whole mess IMO. However, what some people are saying about the legality of teachers sleeping with under 18s is inaccurate - legally the age of consent is 16 and that applies to everyone. A teacher would, however, be sacked if they were in a relationship with a pupi, even if they were over 16 (ie a sixth former) because it is an abuse of trust. So it's a professional issue not a legal one once the child is over 16. The teacher would be sacked and struck off. Obviously if there is the suggestion that they groomed the child while they were under 16 then it becomes a legal issue too.

But anyway! Yes it's the wife I feel most sorry for. Sections of her wedding blog were published when the news broke and it was so sad. She must feel so incredibly humiliated

 

[lhancock90]

I feel there needs to be a defination and law when it comes to adult/teenager relationships. Its a different kind of peadophillia. I'm aware that probably only makes sense to me..

 

[jojo_b]

I feel there needs to be a defination and law when it comes to adult/teenager relationships. Its a different kind of peadophillia. I'm aware that probably only makes sense to me..

No that makes sense to me too x

 

[xemmax]

There is no clear cut definition of paedophilia but it is usually used to describe adults who are attracted to prepubescent children. Megan was likely not prepubescent so by that definition he's probably not a paedophile. But he is still an adult in a position of trust who manipulated a CHILD into leaving the country, her family, friends and education to embark on a romantic and sexual relationship with him. Even without the label of paedophilia, it's just as abusive and disgusting to me.

 

[suzib76]

A paedophile is someone who is attracted to children.

Some like very young children

Some like prepubescent children

Others like older children


He is a 30 year old adult. She is a child.

 

[xemmax]

The term paedophile has so many different definitions... but my point is just because he may not be deemed a paedophile, it doesn't make his behaviour any less disgusting. What he did is inexcusable, completely inappropriate and abusive.