nyaonyaokat
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I'll keep this short as I'm physically and mentally exhausted, not to mention depressed.
On Monday I went into the hospital to be induced and my doctor thought it would be a good idea to insert these things called Laminaria sticks into my cervix to get the process started (they're some sort of seaweed stick that expands with moisture). I found out later that 1cm dilated they usually don't put in very many, but my doctor wanted to speed things up and put in 10. This was the most painful thing I've ever gone through in my life. It felt like someone was ripping out pieces of my cervix with rusty, sharp tongs and the puddle of blood left behind on the examination bed also could attest to that. I was sweating, shaking, crying and ended up throwing up from the pain.
She said when I started having regular contractions they would start the Pitocin but after I had about 10 hours of horrid contractions she decided it was better waiting until the next day to take out the sticks and start the Pitocin... so I had to try and sleep at the hospital alone (hubby couldn't stay in the monitoring area overnight, something they didn't tell us) while I continuously heard women next to me coming in, screaming, then having their babies within 20 feet of me. All while in torturous pain. Kinda messed with my psyche.
Anyhow the next morning they measured my cervix (and take out the sticks, which was just as painful and bloody as when they put them in) and I was nearly 3cm dilated so they started the Pitocin. I wanted to hold off on the epidural until I really needed it so I dealt with the pain all day (and it was bad, but not entirely unbearable) and in the late afternoon I figured I couldn't take it if it got any worse so my doctor checked my cervix... and I was still only 3cm (I don't know how). She also said it was too late for the epidural since the anesthesiologist goes home at 4. Which they didn't tell me... Until that moment.
Anyway I just wanted baby out at that point so I figured screw it, I'll just keep going. Then at 7pm they came into the room and took out the IV and said that the Pitocin was done for the day... Apparently if you don't get to 9cm on your own from 10am - 7pm they make you try again the next day... I don't understand the reasoning but its not like I could argue with it. So they hooked me back up to the machines to monitor baby, my husband left again, and I spent another night in tears, alone, listening to baby after baby being brought into the world. Just not my baby.
Day 3 - Doc came in and said she was SURE that baby would come today. The only thing they didn't tell me was that the anesthesiologist was not available that day (great) and again, I found out when I really needed it that I couldn't have it. I spent the entire day on Pitocin feeling like my pelvis was being pulled so hard it would rip in half. My doctor and the midwives kept saying things like "You're doing so well, you'll be able to meet your baby today!". I tried so, so hard for hours and hours... barely spoke, just concentrated on keeping calm so the contractions could do their job. But honestly by late afternoon I was completely delirious. I've never been in so much pain in my entire life. I had 90 second long contractions (that measured 100% strength on the monitor) every 2 minutes for over 7 hours.
Doctor came in to see how much longer until I needed to be moved to the labor room... I was only dilated to 4cm. After all that work. Then my doctor said "Well, I thought that might happen." (After saying she was sure my little girl would come that day). Then she told me we might as well quit the Pitocin, I should go home and rest and come back on the 5th and try again since they couldn't give me any Pitocin past 7pm. I was completely gutted. I was so tired that I don't really remember leaving the hospital except the fact that I had to walk by the nursery to get to the elevator and just seeing all of the adorable newborns with their happy Moms and Dads pushed me to tears.
When I got home the first thing I saw was a bunch of presents for my baby from family, a sign that said "Welcome Home Baby Norah" hanging above her decorated crib, and a Teddy bear just sitting in there waiting for her. I felt like someone ripped my heart out and tore it to pieces right then and there.
I would have updated sooner but I'm just so down right now and am still in horrible pain over a day later.
I would like to thank you ladies for giving me encouragement on the other threads during my induction... I hope in a few days after the next induction attempt that I actually have a happy ending and can share pictures of my little one. Here's to hoping.
On Monday I went into the hospital to be induced and my doctor thought it would be a good idea to insert these things called Laminaria sticks into my cervix to get the process started (they're some sort of seaweed stick that expands with moisture). I found out later that 1cm dilated they usually don't put in very many, but my doctor wanted to speed things up and put in 10. This was the most painful thing I've ever gone through in my life. It felt like someone was ripping out pieces of my cervix with rusty, sharp tongs and the puddle of blood left behind on the examination bed also could attest to that. I was sweating, shaking, crying and ended up throwing up from the pain.
She said when I started having regular contractions they would start the Pitocin but after I had about 10 hours of horrid contractions she decided it was better waiting until the next day to take out the sticks and start the Pitocin... so I had to try and sleep at the hospital alone (hubby couldn't stay in the monitoring area overnight, something they didn't tell us) while I continuously heard women next to me coming in, screaming, then having their babies within 20 feet of me. All while in torturous pain. Kinda messed with my psyche.
Anyhow the next morning they measured my cervix (and take out the sticks, which was just as painful and bloody as when they put them in) and I was nearly 3cm dilated so they started the Pitocin. I wanted to hold off on the epidural until I really needed it so I dealt with the pain all day (and it was bad, but not entirely unbearable) and in the late afternoon I figured I couldn't take it if it got any worse so my doctor checked my cervix... and I was still only 3cm (I don't know how). She also said it was too late for the epidural since the anesthesiologist goes home at 4. Which they didn't tell me... Until that moment.
Anyway I just wanted baby out at that point so I figured screw it, I'll just keep going. Then at 7pm they came into the room and took out the IV and said that the Pitocin was done for the day... Apparently if you don't get to 9cm on your own from 10am - 7pm they make you try again the next day... I don't understand the reasoning but its not like I could argue with it. So they hooked me back up to the machines to monitor baby, my husband left again, and I spent another night in tears, alone, listening to baby after baby being brought into the world. Just not my baby.
Day 3 - Doc came in and said she was SURE that baby would come today. The only thing they didn't tell me was that the anesthesiologist was not available that day (great) and again, I found out when I really needed it that I couldn't have it. I spent the entire day on Pitocin feeling like my pelvis was being pulled so hard it would rip in half. My doctor and the midwives kept saying things like "You're doing so well, you'll be able to meet your baby today!". I tried so, so hard for hours and hours... barely spoke, just concentrated on keeping calm so the contractions could do their job. But honestly by late afternoon I was completely delirious. I've never been in so much pain in my entire life. I had 90 second long contractions (that measured 100% strength on the monitor) every 2 minutes for over 7 hours.
Doctor came in to see how much longer until I needed to be moved to the labor room... I was only dilated to 4cm. After all that work. Then my doctor said "Well, I thought that might happen." (After saying she was sure my little girl would come that day). Then she told me we might as well quit the Pitocin, I should go home and rest and come back on the 5th and try again since they couldn't give me any Pitocin past 7pm. I was completely gutted. I was so tired that I don't really remember leaving the hospital except the fact that I had to walk by the nursery to get to the elevator and just seeing all of the adorable newborns with their happy Moms and Dads pushed me to tears.
When I got home the first thing I saw was a bunch of presents for my baby from family, a sign that said "Welcome Home Baby Norah" hanging above her decorated crib, and a Teddy bear just sitting in there waiting for her. I felt like someone ripped my heart out and tore it to pieces right then and there.
I would have updated sooner but I'm just so down right now and am still in horrible pain over a day later.
I would like to thank you ladies for giving me encouragement on the other threads during my induction... I hope in a few days after the next induction attempt that I actually have a happy ending and can share pictures of my little one. Here's to hoping.
I'm not going to sit here and say look on the bright side babys on her way any day now blah blah blah you've been through hell and those stick things sound like torture I'm just so sorry that this has been your experience I really truly hope when Norah arrives that her presence and beauty erases this awful experience from your mind. Big hugs to you Hun xxx big huge hugs 
XxXxXxX
