rachlouise25
mum of 3 xxx
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- Nov 14, 2009
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i feel so silly for writing in here but here my story sorry if it offends anyone at all ...
ok i got pregnant arounder october 2006 and sadley i lost my first born son june 2007 32 weeks gestation (stillborn )
i was hurting so much i couldnt think of anything other than trying for another baby ,15 months later i finally got my bfp in october 2008 went on to have my baby boy at 31 wks gestation due to placenta abruption and very lucky to have him ,,,,
he was 7 wks old and i found out i was pregnant again so very shocked i did 3 tests as i didnt believe it ,my pregnancy was cut short i started spotting so was sent for scan was supposed to have been 9wks pregnant but only measuring 5 half weeks was told to go back in 3 weeks time ....
august 23rd and i was bleeding heavy i didnt know what to do rung hospital as i was passing very big clots i said did i need to go in they told me no not to bother as it sounds like everything is coming away i lost the baby they say it was a chemical but when i passed everything i could see the tiny sac full of the fluid and something very very tiny inside which im guessing was the baby ,i cried for the first few hours ,,,,,few days past and i felt fine i have my lil boy to occupy me
anyway im currentley 16 wks pregnant again after loosing my baby ,,,,but i cant help but now all of a sudden thinking of the lil baby i lost ...everything is getting on top of me with me grieveing for my first born son i know its been 2 half yrs but the pain is terrible in my heart for him ,and know its only hitting me with my misscarrige .......
and now to top it all off have been told reasons for my stillborn baby ,placenta abruption on my 8 month old son ,and why i had the misscarrige ,,,
i have what they call factor 5 leiden which if was picked up after my first son then i wouldnt have lost again and know im thinking somehow im to blame for both my losses and also placenta abruption and am feeling a failure for putting my babys through the stress of it all ........
i know that i am now on medication for my condition daily injections and aspirin tablets and also have to wear stocking to stop my blood clotting in my legs ......
im so sorry if im ranting on about my feelings im just feeling so low i think the mixture of my grief and hormones gets me all thinking ........
would like to say sorry if i have posted wrong in here i just nedded to let my misscarrige be open as i dont talk about it at all and i think i have bottled everything up and here seems like the right place where i cant let down some steam .....
miss you so much my sweet angel mummy so so sorry for not thinking about you ido love u xxxxxxxxx
ok i got pregnant arounder october 2006 and sadley i lost my first born son june 2007 32 weeks gestation (stillborn )
i was hurting so much i couldnt think of anything other than trying for another baby ,15 months later i finally got my bfp in october 2008 went on to have my baby boy at 31 wks gestation due to placenta abruption and very lucky to have him ,,,,
he was 7 wks old and i found out i was pregnant again so very shocked i did 3 tests as i didnt believe it ,my pregnancy was cut short i started spotting so was sent for scan was supposed to have been 9wks pregnant but only measuring 5 half weeks was told to go back in 3 weeks time ....
august 23rd and i was bleeding heavy i didnt know what to do rung hospital as i was passing very big clots i said did i need to go in they told me no not to bother as it sounds like everything is coming away i lost the baby they say it was a chemical but when i passed everything i could see the tiny sac full of the fluid and something very very tiny inside which im guessing was the baby ,i cried for the first few hours ,,,,,few days past and i felt fine i have my lil boy to occupy me
anyway im currentley 16 wks pregnant again after loosing my baby ,,,,but i cant help but now all of a sudden thinking of the lil baby i lost ...everything is getting on top of me with me grieveing for my first born son i know its been 2 half yrs but the pain is terrible in my heart for him ,and know its only hitting me with my misscarrige .......
and now to top it all off have been told reasons for my stillborn baby ,placenta abruption on my 8 month old son ,and why i had the misscarrige ,,,
i have what they call factor 5 leiden which if was picked up after my first son then i wouldnt have lost again and know im thinking somehow im to blame for both my losses and also placenta abruption and am feeling a failure for putting my babys through the stress of it all ........
i know that i am now on medication for my condition daily injections and aspirin tablets and also have to wear stocking to stop my blood clotting in my legs ......
im so sorry if im ranting on about my feelings im just feeling so low i think the mixture of my grief and hormones gets me all thinking ........
would like to say sorry if i have posted wrong in here i just nedded to let my misscarrige be open as i dont talk about it at all and i think i have bottled everything up and here seems like the right place where i cant let down some steam .....
miss you so much my sweet angel mummy so so sorry for not thinking about you ido love u xxxxxxxxx