beenalongtime,
I am going through just what you are now. This is my first pregnancy after trying for 7 years. I went to the doctor on Thursday expecting to see my 11 1/2 week old baby's heart beating. No luck. It was such a shock. They said it stopped growing at 9 weeks. I had a previous ultrasound around 8 weeks and the heartbeat was strong. I had pregnancy symptoms all the way up until Saturday, when slowly they began to diminish. As of yesterday I can say I don't even feel pregnant at all.
I too am having a difficult time trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my body did not respond to the change in life inside of me. I feel hurt, like I should have been able to notice. It is my body, my baby. Who else would better know? However, I am finding comfort in the fact that my body was so intensely centered on providing for the baby with all of the increase in hormones, nutrition cravings, complete and utter nausea all day long, and breast tenderness, that I am not disappointed in it. My body was doing everything possible and normal to keep the baby alive. For that I am grateful.
This is still devastating. I am going through a natural miscarriage now. My first sign was on Friday when I have severe cramping and it tapered off in the evening. Yesterday I began to cramp again and began bleeding and passing some of the lining. It is tough. I can say the pain has been manageable. I am not quite sure what I am in store for but I am just trying to remain calm and as relaxed as possible. I'm on my own as my husband is in Iraq and equally devastated.
This is hard but please know that I am going through this just like you and I am here if you need any support.