Mother Troubles (Long Rant)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by MummyNovember, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. MummyNovember

    MummyNovember Hubb,DS & DD =]

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    Ok so my partner and i are living with my mother until the house we are going to move into is ready. My mother is 64yrs old and is reaching the end of her divorce. She has been going through this divorce for 3yrs now and it has totally changed her. She has become totally self absorbed, controlling, selfish and a bit of an OCD. The most aggrivating thing about it is that she doesnt realise what she has become! And if you try and point things out to her she goes in a mood and ends up having a go at you and pointing out all the things you do "wrong" (like leave a sock on the floor and not pick it up for a WHOLE day! or dont wash your spoon up! Proper criminal stuff!).

    ::The Story Of Our Puppy:: We have been living with mum since the beginning of febuary. And on valentines day our little puppy dog Ruby had to be rushed to the vet & it turns out she had broken the top of her spine. She was fine when we brought her home at 6wks. When Ruby was 8wks old i remember mum telling me that she dropped Ruby when she was 10wks old an she landed on her head on the tiled floor. That was what would have done it but mum denied all knowledge of it happening. Anyway Ruby had to have a serious operation to her spine and afterwards she needed strict care and attention. Mum was great at first but as soon as Ruby showed signs of improvement she started letting her go out in the garden alone, gave her all her toys back..things we were not supposed to do and we still arent now for another week or so. It doesnt matter how much we tell mum she still does what she wants!!! And it has gotten to the stage now where arguements are starting because mum is doing what she wants with our dog an isnt watching her at all (but claims she is). She doesnt give a sh*t about our property or belongings. She even leaves the garage door wide open sometimes so that my partners motorbike could easily be nicked!

    The arguements start mainly between my partner and mum which makes things hard on me. I do love my mum but i dont like the person she is any more which is really affecting me emotionally because i was always really close to my mum. Now i cant bear to hear her voice! I know i am really emotional atm being pregnant an all but she is making it 10 times worse. She said to me today that "your not very happy lately because of all this morning sickness are you?" and i really wanted to say that i will be a whole lot happier when im not around you! Im just really hoping that a few years down the line mum will return back to her normal self. But the divorce has affected her that badly i dont think she will go back to normal. I have tried helping and being there for her but it gets thrown back in my face. There is only so much sympathy i can give. Sounds harsh i know but its how i feel at the mo.

    Anyways i know its not very interesting but its a rant i needed to get off my chest!
     
  2. Rhiana79

    Rhiana79 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear you're suffering hun, no real advice I'm afraid as y realtionship with my mum can sometimes be strained but wanted to stop by and give you a :hugs:
     
  3. MummyNovember

    MummyNovember Hubb,DS & DD =]

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    Thanks hun =]
     
  4. keeks1987

    keeks1987 Due baby2 in April

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    I have no advice, but hugs x
     
  5. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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  6. RHR

    RHR Mummy 2 Isabelle & Sophie

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    Hi hun, big hugs to you. Is there anyway you and your OH could move out into your own place? It would give you all the space you need and would possible help you to appreciate each other when you do meet up with your mum.

    Other than that, I don't know what to suggest.
     
  7. Samantha675

    Samantha675 Maybe baby #3?!?

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    How much longer till your place is ready. Can you afford a short term rental?
     
  8. clairealfie

    clairealfie Well-Known Member

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    Oh big hugs and sorry to hear about your little puppy. They are very resilient at that age so she should pull through.

    Mothers!

    How much longer until your house is ready? I would suggest a short term rental but I dare say your mum would get upset as that would make it very obvious you were moving out because of her.

    No suggestions really but I'm sure it'll get better once you're out of each others hair and she's got over the divorce a bit more x
     
  9. MummyNovember

    MummyNovember Hubb,DS & DD =]

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    We should be in our own place at the end of this month! Its a house we are renting off of another relative, and the rent is dirt cheap which is good. So not long to go, its just the waiting! Seems to be going on forever lol I think us moving out into our own place will help my relationship with mum. Just have to see how it all goes. Since her divorce she has enjoyed having the company, will probably be a bit clingy for a while an be round my house constantly =/ especially since i am her youngest and this is my first child!
     
  10. firsttimer87

    firsttimer87 First-timer expecting

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    have you thought the change in her could be down to something to do with the menopause? just a thought as the changes in hormones can make a woman go a bit crazy lol (as we all know :haha:). Try and just bite ur tongue as much as you can for this month hun, things will improve before you know it x
     
  11. MummyNovember

    MummyNovember Hubb,DS & DD =]

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    Well to be honest with you the first time my OH met my mum was when she was in the early stages of the divorce. And he hadnt spent that much time with her but one night when the 3 of us went out together he just asked me if my mum had slight dementia. She doesnt concentrate to good (mainly when people are talking to her), her memory isnt all it used to be, she has depression,alot of mood changes, low attention span. Kinda got me questionin you know??.. all these things arent tooo bad i just hope they dont get any worse. I know that traumatic events can trigger dementia & the divorce (esp at age 64) has been really hard for her. The baby will be something positive for her an may snap her out of her current state of mind! Here's hopin anyway! :thumbup:
     
  12. firsttimer87

    firsttimer87 First-timer expecting

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    keep thinking positive hun and the end of the month will be here before you know it and you and your OH will be able to be on your own :) chin up :hugs: xx
     

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