Mum to be scared of breastfeeding. Help!

[Littleluce83]

Hi ladies,

I'm 19 weeks pregnant tommorow and have been thinking hard this week about how I want to feed my baby. I really want to try breastfeeding but am absolutely terrified that I won't be able to do it, or that the baby won't latch and I'll really struggle. The thought of feeding almost around the clock scares me too. I wondered if any of you had any advice that you could share. I'd really appreciate it

 

[Doodlebug88]

I would try and go to some breastfeeding groups or classes before baby arrives. I didn't and wish I had as didn't know what I was doing. This will help with latching and what to do. The first few weeks are hard and your baby will feed a lot but this us build up your supply.

Breastfeeding is very rewarding if you can. But if you do decide it's not for you then do not feel guilty

 

[pinkpolkadot]

Yes agreed, do lots of reading and watch videos, plan for support in case you need it (like this forum or a join group). The more prepared you are the more likely you will be able to overcome any obstacles.

I swear I would have given up first time around if it wasn't for this forum and my reading as I don't feel what I had been told beforehand by the MWs was anywhere near reality so I wouldn't have been prepared.

Some babies are more laid back, DD2 didn't feed around the clock wheras DD1 did, but even if they do it doesn't last too long and will soon settle. As pp said, it is very rewarding so definitely worth giving it a shot at least and see how you get on

 

[minties]

It can be quite scary at first, but the really cool part is that it doesn't take long to get easy or even fun for most women.

Both times, the first 9-14 days were the worst part. There was nipple pain, and it can be tricky to latch. I never felt like I was breastfeeding all day and night though, it was usually every 2 hours when very little.

When everything clicks, when you know what to do and baby knows what to do, it's very rewarding and as easy as pie. It's much easier to lie down nursing than to get up several times a night to make a bottle. Your breastmilk is always ready, always warm and just right for baby.

I loved breastfeeding, I miss it so much. I suppose it's a bit like sex, the idea of it can be be nerve wracking, and the first few times can be a bit of a disaster, but you look forward to it nice you get the hang of it!

 

[Night Flower]

Watch a few "how to properly latch a baby to breastfeed" videos on YouTube and Google. Helped me a lot.

And use the nurses at the hospital. Theyre there to help you.

Youlle feed around the clock regardless whether you breastfeed or formula feed.

 

[Shandelion]

Like other posters said, ask for help! My breast feeding experience has been EXCELLENT and I still used YouTube, a wic lactation consultant and the hospital consultant. And use a pacifier if you have to.

I know for some women it's hell, but for me it's the best part of having a baby. There's no closer bonding experience. The enjoyment on his part is absolutely adorable and charming. He starts yelling and waving his arms when I start to pull up my shirt. He has the dorkiest laugh imaginable when he sees a boob. It soothes him through anything. I loooove comfort nursing; he's just so happy and content because of it! All the funniest and most comical behavior is as a result of nursing. The sounds he makes, his expressions, his reactions...I will value this the rest of my life. I wouldn't trade anything for all the memories of him falling asleep with his mouth around the nipple and his arm around my breast for comfort...after half an hour or an hour, he'd pull his mouth off and sigh, then use my breast as a pillow with a look of utter peace and trust.

Yeah, my nipples cracked, bled, scabbed, clogged, engorged, formed new skin after healing, but those couple weeks are very vague and long ago. As soon as I was healed, it was like it never happened. And my son was a 24/7 nurser with a tongue tie, which I hear is difficult to deal with. He's only four months old now, for perspective. Even now, he's curled up against my chest because it gives him such comfort as he's sleeping

 

[Shandelion]

And yeah, as to feeding all night? The difference is...wake up, turn on lights, go to the kitchen, get milk, reheat milk, test temps, dirty dishes, prep bottle, so on...

...or whip out a boob. In the dark. You'll get a lot more sleep that way lol, but baby needs fed all the same.

 

[Mummafrog]

Agree with the above!

Getting yourself educated is key to a good latch, confidence and therefore minimal discomfort while your nipples are toughening up. While they are toughening up, Lansinoh is so helpful for most ladies so definitely worth having some in the cupboard.

I was lucky and my girl fed like a champ from birth, with no complications and I have loved it from day 1. Because she was a good feeder and I felt confident with what I was doing I didn't have much soreness and after 2 weeks it felt easy. I have always thought that I would much rather use my breasts to feed her any time, anywhere than faffing with bottles and sterilising etc, plus it's just wonderful having that special time with your baby

Before your milk comes in baby will feed a lot and sometimes you might feel like you're glued to the sofa for a day or two BUT it's only that first week and you're not in much of a physical state to get up and go anyway hehe, then the milk is in and they usually start to space out feeds better. For us she has always done her feeding in the day and slept much longer stretches at night, so you never know how a baby will be

Also if you are having trouble, there really is so much support available if you seek it, don't do it alone. Tongue/lip tie seems very common and is often missed but easily fixed, so if you're struggling to get baby to latch or nipples are very sore, get experienced professionals to check for it.

Finally, don't let yourself feel pressure, do what's right for you and what feels good. I suggest try putting your gorgeous newborn to your breast in that first mesmerising hour and see what happens, see if it works. There are things you might have to push through but you only should if you want to. If not, there is formula. So there is no harm in giving it a try, you might regret it if you don't XX

 

[BigAl]

Definitely read up on normal newborn behaviour, and expect other people to throw doubt on you. Sorry if that sounds negative, but so many women begin to doubt they have enough milk because friends and family say they shouldn't be feeding so often. Really they have just forgotten what newborns are really like.

Kellymom is a good website to read through.

It is hard in the beginning, but realise that's the same for 99% of women, including those that bf well in to toddlerdom.

That said, once past the cluster feeding, bf comes into its own. So convenient and may help the baby weight drop off (and then some for me).

 

[ChaiTea]

I thought I was all prepared after reading so much and asking so many questions. And then I struggled for quite a few weeks once the baby came. I didn't give up at all and now almost 11 months later, here we are! No bottles and no formula just as I had hoped for. Such a rewarding experience and I will certainly do it again with the next!

 

[annio84]

Try to find some other women who breastfeed to have a chat with, go to a breastfeeding support group before baby arrives (we had a lady come to ours a few weeks ago).


Honestly, people do have some problems breastfeeding and some people aren't able to do it but the majority of people can and will tell you it gets easier over time. I'm currently BF my 1 year old and from about 8 weeks old I can confidently say it has been sooooo much easier than bottle feeding. Some babies do want to feed a lot, mine fed 2 houlry all day and 2-4 hourly overnight except during growth spurts when I basically had to write off doing anything but feeding her. Growth spurts only last a day or so though.What you should bear in mind though is that bottle fed babies don't neccessarily sleep better and when a BF baby wakes you pick them up and apply to boob. No getting up and messing around boiling the kettle or whatever.

It can seem a little daunting but there are lots of positives too. I would say give it a go and keep an open mind. If you try to bf and it doesn't work out for whatever reason, at least you gave it a go and really, what more can you do?

 

[lisa1980]

I'd say it's worth a go as if it works out for you it becomes SO easy and convenient.

Be prepared for quite a lot of bad advice from well-meaning people. My son fed all the time at first (which was fine by me as I loved cuddling him anyway and it gave me a chance to steal him back from the grandparents ) and LOADS of people questioned whether he was getting enough milk. Luckily I had read up on this forum and kellymom and knew that he was having enough dirty nappies etc and it was just cluster feeding.

I think if you go into it armed with a bit of knowledge of what to expect it's easier to feel confident in what you're doing and not get put off by 'helpful' comments.

Oh and my son was an awful sleeper but giving him formula made no difference whatsoever and just meant I had to spend more time overnight awake and upright! It's interesting how all those family members who are desperate to feed the baby and encourage you to give bottles so they can help out suddenly aren't so keen when it involves getting up overnight