Mummies with 2+ : heard something that bummed me out today

[lhancock90]

I have 2 and one on the way.

I can not say I have a favorite. We just bond In Different ways.

My two are complete opposites, night and day.

My first is very girly, clingy, and lovey dovey.
My second is extremely independent, active, and only gives kisses when she feels like it. Lol

I bond more with my first clingy one because well.. She never leaves my side. Lol

BUT with that being said... My first is the one that drives me completely nuts. I could pull my hair out most days. Using the bathroom in peace hasn't happened since she was born. Alone time? I've forgotten what that is.

I do not love one more than the other. I love my miss independent to bits and beg for her attention like my first negs for my 24/7 attention lol.

I love them both but in different ways. But I could NEVER choose one over the other. Just writing this post makes me wants to squeeze them exceptionally hard right now. Love love love them! I always wonder how can I share the love? Surprisingly I was able to with two... Hoping I can do the same with 3. We always worry about the what ifs. But things have a way of working out when we think they can't.

This is exactly what i was trying to say

 

[Lellow]

I couldn't and wouldn't ever pick between my children...cant believe anyone would to be honest, seems quite alien to me, they should all be loved equally.

 

[RachA]

I don't have a favorite. I love them both the same.

However, i understand Ivy more, she is much more like me, she is closer to me and for that reason i suppose i found my bond with Ivy easier? However i love Evelyn exaclty the same, i just accept that i don't understand her as well because shes much more like her Dad and also much closer to him, i still love her the same and we have an amazing bond, i suppose its just slightly different to the one i share with Ivy? Evelyn doesn't seem fussed though because she has such a close bond with her Dad?
Its tough to explain.

Edit: Like Sunday i was away for the night, Ivy was heartbroken, Evelyn was fine, she was happy to see my the next day and said she missed me but was okay on the night without me? If i'd of been gone any longer she'd of hated it but she can cope being away from me for a bit, whereas Ivy gets very upset. Also i worried about Evelyn and missed her but i was much more worried about how Ivy was coping?

Edit 2: I can't explain it and i sound like a right bitch, but basically i love them the same, but understand them differently.

I understand what you mean.

Growing up I was (still am!!) one of 4. We always used to joke that my second brother was my mums favourite followed by me. But that wasn't the case at all. We were just easier children therefore we needed less discipline etc. plus also my brother was the only one that went away to uni so obviously my mum made a special effort with him when he came back to visit.

Sometimes the bond is harder to maintain. I know my sil struggled with their eldest as he was 7 weeks prem and was in hospital for 7 weeks. He was hard work. But now (they are 14 & 12) she doesn't prefer the youngest. She just understands the youngest better therefore there is less friction between them.

 

[Palestrina]

I only have one LO so he's my favorite by default. If I had another though I could not imagine choosing a favorite, it seems totally wrong to do so. I can understand there would be a different connection between a mother and each of her children but to pick a favorite sounds so unfair and unmotherly to me, I can't imagine how crushed I would feel if I had felt that sort of dynamic from my parents, kids can pick up on the slightest emotion parents feel.

My inlaws however play the favorites game all the time and it's really sad. They have 4 kids and show their favoritism quite obviously. And when I fell pregnant with LO my MIL took the opportunity to tell me that her oldest grandchild was already her favorite and she doesn't love the others like she loves him. I was really taken aback because we're not like that in my family, I felt loved by all my grandparents.

Also in many cultures it is traditional to love the first boy more, it is the first boy of the family that inherits titles and land and all birth rights.

 

[kerrie24]

I dont have a favourite but Aimee is a lovely girl,easy to please and the least badly behaved so sometimes I like her better than the two boys who fight,argue,whine etc.

I feel really bad saying that actually.

 

[jd83]

I can't imagine picking a favorite. Both of my kids are the world to me. They are very different, and I love different things about each of them. But love them both equally.

I kind of feel like my mom showed a lot of favoritism with us growing up. She clearly favored me as a child, as I was the smart one, who didn't get into trouble, did well in school, went to college, have done well with my career, etc....And I know my sister and brother resented it a lot growing up. Honestly, I even resented it because I didn't like that it kind of pitted me against them in their minds because they felt like she liked me more. And now she has changed her favoritism to who she gets along with more. She clearly now favors my sister and her kids, as she does things with them ALL the time, and loves to tell me about all the things she has done with them at family holidays, rather than asking me about how I'm doing and how the kids are doing. I now completely get how frustrating it was for my sister and brother. I hate it, and will NEVER do that to my kids.

 

[AngelUK]

My brother always thought that I was my mum's favourite but I know that this is not true. She loved us equally but my brother was a really difficult child, always doing what he ought not and he had ADHD. I was easy going, never got into trouble and was rarely naughty. So of course she didn't have to scold me as often as him. Plus we have the same sense of humour and always laughed a lot together. But to this day he doesn't understand this at all.

As for me, my boys are so different from each other. Sebastian is soo cuddly and sweet (though going through a bit of hitting phase at the mo) while Dominic is always on the go and more boisterous. So while I get more cuddles and bonding time with Sebastian, Dominic slays me with his incredibly sweet and generous nature. For example, when ever I give him a biccie/treat, he always says "Sebby also!" Or when Sebastian has finished his mango or melon and Dominic has some left, 90% of the time he will hand over some pieces to Sebastian. And when he can, Sebastian will give Dominic a hug to say thank you.
Each of my boys have such sweet natures and I love them soo much, it makes my heart miss a beat just thinking of them. I could never pick a favourite or love one of my gorgeous boys less than the other.

 

[lovelylaura]

I love the girls equally. Poppy's fun and carefree. Freya's quirky and needy. I enjoy them both the same, it's a strange thing though I still worry about this next baby if I'll love it the same. I obviously will but I can't help but wonder.