Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi Sara, sorry to hear your having a tough time with the breast feeling. It sounds like wise advice that others have given you. It is interesting that your doctor mentioned about it being psychological. I think it really can affect mentally aswell so its important not to blame yourself if it dosent work out. Its still early days though.

I know its often frowned upon but I didnt even want to breast feed, maybe I should have tried it but all I kept hearing and seeing was people around me that were having such a tough time with it and beating themself up about it.

A friend of mines is suffering from post natal depression since her baby boy was born in April. She's been told that its been the difficulty in breast feeding thats triggered it. She said that she found it so difficult and would be in tears because of it and the baby kept losing to much weight so she had to switch to bottle feeding. In her case she said it was the best decision she ever made.
I admire you ladies that are committed to it as it does sound much more demanding than bottle feeding. I think it really does have a big influence on you as to how you were fed yourself. I.e my mum bottle fed us and it didnt do any harm and my sister bottle fed my neice and she's perfectly healthy.
My mother in law made a comment to me that she was suprised that I wasnt breast feeding as she did apparently.
Its a completely personal decision for each person and I genuinely think that babies are just as healthy whether formula or breast fed going by my own experiences of people that I know who have done both.

For me personally the good thing with bottle feeding is that Emelia is sleeping for 4-5 hours at a time and then wakes up for a feed. She's taking between 5-6 ounces at a time so I know whe's getting plenty and she now weighs 9lbs 2oz when weighed yesterday. I know with breast feeding thats a big issue worrying whether the baby is getting enough.

I had a final meeting with my consultant today and he was asking if Id had a period yet. When I said no he assumed that I was breast feeding but when I told him I wasnt he acted a bit surprised so I asked if I should have had it by now and he said often it comes 3 weeks after birth. So I got a bit worried but then he said that it can take upto 3 months. I just dont know when to expect it.

 

[bumpyplease]

Wow just if emelia is already taking 5-6 ounces at a time I reckon she will be sleeping through the night soon!! Alfie will still only take 4-5 ounces at a time.

And don't worry about the period thing - mine hadn't come back at 8 weeks and my doc wasnt concerned, but then I went back on the pill anyway so I don't know how long it would have taken naturally!

 

[hoping:)]

Filipenko- I think I got lightning crotch a handful of times but Penny never fully engaged until birth so maybe that’s why I didn’t get that feeling too often. I definitely got up at least 2 times a night during late 3rd tri. Rolling out of bed with a giant bump was hard work! Towards the end Tim’s main job was rolling me out of bed so I didn’t end up like a turtle stuck on my back. My water broke during one of my nightly bathroom trips.

Sara- I feel your pain with breastfeeding. I had such a horrible time and it sounds like most of the girls on here at some trouble at one time or another. Amanda gave you some awesome advice. I hope one of her suggestions works for you. I was never able to get my supply up but I think that is because I primarily pumped and that does not increase supply like a baby’s sucking reflex. When Penny was 2 months I returned to work and my supply plummeted after that. You are doing a great job and any amount of breast milk is beneficial for your baby. I hope things will seem less intense when your hubby gets home and is able to help you out.

Cazi- Enjoy Christmas with your parents! I bet they are so excited to spend time with your daughter during her 1st Christmas.

Bumpy- 75th percentile is pretty good. I just love chunky babies! My little girl is losing her baby pudge and thinning out since she so active now… I miss the baby rolls! At least she still has her fluffy cheeks

Kat- Your avatar is gorgeous! Such a great looking family you have. Its good to hear everyone is adjusting well to being home. I loved having my little family of 3 back in our own house without the interruptions of the hospital staff. It sounds like you are a natural at breastfeeding.

Amanda- I loved your advice… I wish I would have known about the Supplemental Nursing System when I was struggling. I hope you guys are enjoying your vacation.

Tracy- Happy birthday to your Isabella!

Just- the AF after birth is definitely a guessing game. Enjoy it while she is still on vacation. My 1st one was rough.

AFM- I just did my lab draw… 5 vials of blood and a urine sample. Not so bad. Tim has his lab work on Friday and then it takes a week to get the results back. If everything is good we will be cleared to start the matching process. I’m excited and nervous! I’ve been researching the med schedule for me during the IVF process and 10 weeks (daily) of the PIO shot makes me a bit queasy. The needle is about 1 ½ inches long and goes in my bum. YIKES! Luckily Tim has volunteered to do all of my shots.

We have our last Christmas party on Friday. It’s a cocktail party and I am so excited to get dressed up and indulge in some tasty food. Tomorrow I have my manicure appointment and then Friday its hair and make up. Christmas Eve Tim has arranged for me and my sister to have spa pedicures. I’m in desperate need of a good pampering!

 

[bumpyplease]

Oooh make sure you take some nice pics for us hoping!

 

[Embo78]

I'm lucky with my breastfeeding experience with max. He's slept through the night from 7 weeks and gains very very well. He only weighs 2 lb less than my friends baby who is 12 months old!!!

Sleeping through the night is not guaranteed by bottle feeding. I have four children who have sttn from 2-3 months who were breastfed and the only one who was bottle fed basically after colostrum was the worst sleeper for me. Not trying to argue, just giving a different opinion. It's difficult to give your honest opinion when you breastfeed cos it can come across as being pushy and a breastfeeding militant!! I'm definitely not that. I don't judge other mummy's on how they bring their babies up. But it's important to show both sides of the argument for future mummy's who may or may not want to breastfeed.
My breastfeeding experience has been amazing. I can't believe how much I love it. I feel like bottle feeding is very hard work. No sterilising bottles. Making up bottles. Buying formula. Feeling worried about the temperature if the milk is right or whether the milk is sterile. I just plop my boob in his mouth for ten minutes then 3 hours later do the same!!
It provides a huge source of comfort for max not just nourishment.

As far as the health benefits. I've done my research and honestly believe what's out there so I based my decision on that. Abi, is very rarely ill and she was on the bottles the longest but I'd say she's more ill than my other two older children but who's to say that's down to breast?? Who knows eh?!!

 

[Embo78]

It's not all been plain sailing tho. The first two weeks were HORRENDOUS! Full of worry and sore nipples and no sleep. And then a couple weeks ago he started refusing the breast and those five days felt like two weeks but I just gave him expressed milk. I've got an impressive freezer stash

 

[KatM]

Sara,
Hope you are listening to all the words of wisdom surrounding letting go of feeling like a failure. You are a great mom and clearly doing all you can. Hope the herbs/prescriptions help. Amanda got her milk levels up and I have faith that you will too.

Hoping,
I did PIO shots until 24 weeks. They ARE painful, but this will help:
Have DH massage the area vigorously after the shot with the heel of his palm.
Apply heat pack to the shot area for at least 10 minutes to help the oil absorb.
You will get through it.

Heart,
Can't wait to hear about your trip.

Hi everyone else. Sounds like your babies are all doing great.

AFM,
Being at home is still a dream compared to that cramp hospital room. No complaints. Love my Ergo.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Embo, your not wrong on the sterilising of bottles being an inconvenience, thats def. a downside of bottle feeding and making up bottles. That is what I found the hardest part the heating of bottles and then trying to cool them when you have a screaming baby. Thankfully my health visitor told us in the second week that you dont need to heat bottles, just sterilise them and fill them with boiled water and then by the time you need it its already cooled at room temperature so you just add the powder. Its a sterilised unit aslong as closed with the lid on. Its def. a case of finding out these little things that help.

I know what your saying that it its hard not to have strong feelings over one method or the other ie. breast or bottle, especially if you have experience of both thats all you can base it on.
I dont have any experience other than bottle feeding so I could never argue a case over it and there is no right or wrong anyway.
There is def. pro's and cons to both methods just like everything.

The only important thing being not to beat yourself up over it when things dont go to plan or work out no matter how you choose to feed. Its important to think of yourself aswell as your baby, some people genuinely get themselves so down about it and completely stressed out which is no good for anyone, that can make the difference in being able to cope or not.

Bumpy and Hoping, thanks for the advice on when to expect a period. As I said the doctor acted a bit surprised that I hadnt had one yet but then in the next breath said it can take longer than 3 weeks. Im not looking forward to it, it will be strange after not having one for so long, although my postpartum bleeding was just as heavy as my normal periods.
Bumpy, I sure hope Emelia is sleeping through the nights soon that would be a dream. You've got to wonder if Alfie's milk intake is still based on his gestational age with him being 6 weeks early.
I thought Emelia was just being quite greedy but the health visitor said that a baby at that age dosent know how to be greedy, its just their stomachs that tell them when their hungry and when they are full they will stop. All babies are different aswell I guess in that they will have different appetites.
With Emelia being 3 weeks early Im wondering if I will notice any delay in her doing certain things, she is very alert now and Im depserate for her to start smiling. I kept telling myself that will happen at 6 weeks , not that its set in stone, but im wondering if it will take a few weeks longer for her to do things like that.

Hoping, I think its a great thing that your doing aswell planning to be a surrogate. We all know how desperate some people are to have a baby and how hard it can be.

 

[heart tree]

Sara, it isn't exclusively in your brain! Your doctor is wrong about that. Yes, I do believe stress can affect supply. When Tim got his shoulder surgery, I was beyond stressed. I also wasn't sleeping. My supply dropped down for a spell. But some women don't have the same amount of ducts. And breast size has nothing to do with how many ducts you have. I'm not saying that is your situation, but it's another explanation why some women don't produce enough. Also, please make sure you are consuming enough calories. That can have a direct effect on supply. BFing can burn 500 - 1000 calories. If you are only consuming 2000 a day, you are practically starving yourself and won't produce enough.

I also forgot to mention that I eat oatmeal with ground flax every morning. Some evidence shows that it helps along with brewer's yeast. I still have yeast under my breasts, so I don't take the brewer's yeast. But this is what I have every morning:

1 cup water plus a little
mixed with 1/2 cup oats
microwave for 2 1/2 minutes
add 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons ground flax
2 tablespoons sliced almonds
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 sliced banana

There are also recipes for lactation cookies that include brewer's yeast, flax and oats. But you probably don't have time to bake these days.

Kellymom.com is my go to website as Em already mentioned. Full of excellent info.

If you have plugged ducts, heat, massage and nursing are the fix. I had one recently that was as big as my palm. It was very painful and no amount of pumping fixed it. Delilah didn't want to nurse from that side because the milk was clogged. I used heat on it for 2 ays and massaged with a vibrator! LOL! I always started nursing on that side because she was hungrier and would suck harder. After one of my heat and massage sessions, I put her on that side and wouldn't let her off of it no matter how much she wiggled. That baby sucked the clog right out. Immediately my boob went soft and felt amazing!

Finally, I agree with Em that there isn't rhyme or reason to sleeping through the night with bottle or breast. We do both. We've had success with both. We've had not such great success with both. I think it depends on the baby to be honest.

Ok, I need to keep focusing on packing.

Kat, welcome and congrats! Loving your profile pic. What a beautiful family!

Tracie, happy birthday to your girl! I can't believe she's 1!

Amber, why does Tim need labs too? So exciting to follow this journey.

Hi to everyone else. Off to keep packing now. xo

 

[bumpyplease]

Happy birthday Isabella!

And I agree with all the above comments and to be honest I don't think it matters how you feed your baby as long as you are happy. Happy mummy happy baby! I just wish I had the choice as I always intended to try breast feeding but that choice was taken away from me! But never mind!
Just - I think Alfie's lower ounce intake is more down to his reflux than the fact that he was early, although reflux IS more common in premmies. It's getting better though so I'm hoping he's over the worst of it now. He giggled for the first time today it was so cute, I can't get the bugger to do it again though can I!!!!!!!

Happy 6 months to the twinnies hopeful!

 

[hoping:)]

I just lost my post:/

Bumpy- will do

Kat- thanks so much for the advice! Just looking at the needle is enough to make me throw up/run for the hills. You are a trooper going through that for 24 weeks! I will get over it...eventually.

Just- Baby smiles are the best. I hope you get a glimpse of your daughter's soon. I still melt whenever Penny flashes me a baby smile

Part of the reason I wanted to be a surrogate is because I know how it feels to desperately want a baby and feel like you will never get the chance to be a parent. Now that I am able I want to help complete families so that they can experience the joy that a child brings.

Amanda- he has to get tested to make sure that he is not carrying some disease that will impact me or the baby(ies) and also to make sure he not some drug fiend!

 

[croydongirl]

Kat - LOVE the family picture, glad you are settled in at home. We had a wonderful hospital experience but i still remember how lovely it felt to be back in my own bed and space.

Sara - you can buy lactation cookies pre-made over the internet if that is something you want to try. I had to supplement with a bottle of a few oz most days for a month or so. When you have a c-section it can take longer for milk to come in and it took my supply a while to build up, I also drank lots of Mother's milk tea which you can get in the grocery stores or online too i bet. I think that the tea help my supply a lot. Take a breath and know you are doing all you can. I know bottles aren't the enemy but I completely understand how it feels when you want to be fully feeding them from your milk and your body isn't cooperating. You are doing a great job and your baby loves you so much.

afm - Levi is having a fussy day. It makes me thankful for the good days that are more common but i certainly appreciate them when he has off days. He had a bad nights sleep and has hardly napped all day he is gassy and drooling and generally a disaster. Excited for hubs to get home. Hope hes not expecting food because i haven't had time to pee today levi doesn't want to be put down. Usually he is pretty independent but today he is mr clingy

I am still without a visit from aunt flo, we are at 4.5 months now. Anyway else still waiting after this long?

 

[heart tree]

No AF for me either Croy and I'm 6 months in on Christmas Eve. Delilah has those days too. Maybe teething? No matter the cause, they are hard!

Happy 6 months Ava and Dylan! How much do they weigh Jodi?

Getting on a plane in the morning. Wish me luck!

 

[Embo78]

I'm so jealous ladies. I got af at almost exactly 3 months pp haven't had one since though so let's just hope it was a fluke

Good luck heart! How longs the flight? I bet D is a little star for you and tim

 

[Embo78]

So sorry kat just remembered you asked about Maxipoo squidges!! Baby brain is so much worse than pregnancy brain

It's definitely not all babies but max just loves his own space and when he got to around three months, every times I tried to give him cuddles he'd push me away. ESP if anyone was around. He's so nosy!! I think when they realise there's more to life than mummy, ie the big wide world, they become less snuggly! Sob!!

 

[Embo78]

When he's upset, frustrated or in pain he always wants mummy tho

When he's overtired and irritable it's daddy all the way to be precise, daddy's shoulder while he walks up and down the living room!!

 

[bumpyplease]

Have a great trip heart!! Hope the travelling goes smoothly! I'm sure D will be a star!!

Embo - Alfie is the same - he is happier in his play gym or looking at his mobile in his cot than being cuddled now!!! He likes to kick and have his own space! He slept through the night for the first time last night I woke up at 5am in a panic lol!!!

For those who haven't seen on the PARL thread he is a family pic at 3 months:
https://i1192.photobucket.com/albums/aa336/ledran/289FAC9C-E12F-4930-93B7-06DE3BBE512E-9508-00000AD460DE3C23.jpg

 

[Embo78]

Oh wow bumpy. Awesome pic. What a beautiful family you have

I remember the first time Max slept through. I literally jumped out of bed and was so scared to look in his Moses basket!!! I still give him a poke most mornings!!!

 

[tuckie27]

Hey girls :wave: I've been posting more on the PARL thread this last week. I'm like the graduate that doesn't want to leave! LOL

Welcome Abi & Kat!

Puppy- sorry you had 2 sick kiddos at the same time That's rough Hope they're feeling better.

Mom2- Hope you're feeling better as well and that OH is spending more time at home too.

Tracie- happy 1st birthday to Isabella

Hoping- That's so cute Penny rearranges ornaments and shakes presents Enjoy getting pampered & dolled up! I'm envious.

Sara- sounds like you got some good advice regarding BFing. I can tell you I don't know about the oatmeal thing but I was eating it everyday the last few weeks of my pregnancy
& have been eating it about 4-5 days/week since Bay was born & I've had no supply issues. Just read about the oatmeal being good for making milk earlier this week and wondered if had made a difference for me...Also my lactation nurse told me not to pump until I had established my supply because their not as effective as baby...could pumping be hurting your supply? Don't know a ton about lactation but thought I'd mention what mine said. Sorry you're frustrated. Definitely don't blame yourself or get down on yourself about it. Heart gave you great advice. I second getting enough sleep, calories, fluids, etc. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have to take care of me or I'm no good to Bay.

Heart- LOL @ using a vibrator on your clogged boob! Have fun on your trip & good luck with the traveling.

Embo- I was sad thinking about the day Bay doesn't want to be cuddly with me but then I read your last post ^ about how max always wants you & your OH when he's upset & felt better

Just- I'm looking forward to the smiles too. I swear Bay smiles at us, but I know they say they're just passing gas when they're this young

Croy- sorry Levi had a fussy day hun. Hope OH was able to give you a break when he got home.

Afm,
Bay was 3 weeks old today. I can't believe how fast time is passing. She gained 10oz and 1/2 inch since her last appt 2 weeks ago. Dr said her growth was good. She's still pretty small though, 6lb12oz! She was born 6lb7oz but was 5lb15oz the day we left the hospital so I guess she's growing well..she should be with as much as she BFs! I got a little scared at the appt because I asked the Dr about these little hard lumps under her nipples and he said he wasn't sure about them but would look into it for me. OH and I exchanged worried glances. After a google search though it sounds like its no big deal. Says its common when mom is passing hormones to baby in womb and through milk also. That Dr isn't a pediatrician so I suspect that's why he wasn't familiar with it. He's a family Dr. but we're trying to find a pediatrician for her in our area that takes our insurance. The 2 pediatric practices closest to us are not accepting new patients right now :/ I'm really trying to avoid driving over an hour to Sacramento for her appts. so I'm going to keep searching. Anyone else noticed little lumps on their babies? Here's some recent photos of Bay:

https://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac76/mermaids84/2159A9DA-8F37-42DA-ABB6-E8F2518F6716-4586-000003AF7C74309D.jpg

https://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac76/mermaids84/D963A9DF-7ACA-4BB7-AF9A-BA48A9F07F71-4586-000003AEDA8DD724.jpg

https://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac76/mermaids84/8CBD586F-CF1D-444E-93C2-5FE6E133EEEA-4586-000003AEBD9D1DD6.jpg

 

[Embo78]

Gorgeous tuckie. Bay is so beautiful

I agree 100% on the oats. I couldn't believe the difference in my supply after eating flapjack for a week and now make a weekly batch and have it as my snacks.

Glad I made you feel better bout the cuddles Bay may always be a cuddly baby. My Oliver always was. He still is and he's almost 12!!