Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Embo78]

Kat he's beautiful. How are you finding the early days with your squidgy newborn? Max won't let me squidge him any more! He's way too alert and nosy for mummy cuddles!

 

[puppycat]

Hi girls, mummies rather

Have been quite withdrawn from bnb, sorry.

Kat congrats and welcome to mummyhood

Jen sorry your drs made you feel ignored

Embo Max is so cute in his Christmas outfit

Hopeful I can't believe the twins are so big now, time flies!

can't remember anything else :/

Samuel has conjunctivitus, Laura has earache today. I'm shattered and fed up. G has a life and i don't. Feel like i'm just 'mum' and my individual identity no longer exists. Taken for granted. Fed up.

 

[Mom2mmcjg]

Kat- Congratulations!!! Grey is just beautiful! So happy for you!

Puppy- I'm so sorry. Life is just not giving you an easy ride! It seems to never end with your sickness during pregnancy, then Samuel's sickness, and Laura, and of course G!! You have so much to cope with! Wish I could help you! You are doing great. I totally understand why you feel at the end of your rope, but just hang on!
G needs to try to give you a break. You are a woman too, not JUST a mom.

AFM- I'm horribly sick right now. Gloriana is doing great, she's sick too, but handling it like a champ! She gets to be Jesus in the church Christmas play tomorrow! I'll post a pick.
My hubby is so busy I feel alone much of the time. Well, its not just a feeling, I am alone! Everything he does is good (community projects, youth group, work, helping others) but I just wish he'd take the time to just sit and relax with his family more often! He can't be here to take care of me because he spent all morning at church cleaning up the youth room, and now he's out Christmas caroling with some church families. I just feel like I'm at the bottom of the list sometimes.

 

[croydongirl]

Kat he is gorgeous! Congrats. How was your delivery? Hope you are doing well and enjoying the precious early days!

Mom2 & pups - sorry you are having some stress in your relationships. i think parenting seems to be one of the hardest areas fr men and women to find balance. its like thry have a chice to be involved and we dont. hubs and i had a conversation the other day because in the mornings he always just gets up in the morning and takes a shower and then he nags me that we are late to go where we need to be even though I have to get myself and the baby ready. It was driving me mad, I also told him that I had to have him get up for one of the night wake ups. I was never sleeping longer than a few hours and it was killing me, now if Levi wakes up and its not been at least 3 hours so he doesn't need feeding, I wake hubs up to change him ad get him back to sleep. He didnt like it but i think he realised how exhausted I was and so he agreed. When he is off next week I have told him I am going to thaw some of my frozen stash and have him do all the night feeds just once so I can get a full nights sleep! I am so excited! Sometimes they need to know we need their help. I hope that you can both feel supported and special by your men over this Christmas holiday

ok- need to get up and going just put L down for his first nap but its usually a quick one, just 30 mins or so. I really just want to go back to sleep but I should get dressed. Friend is coming over at 11 so need to make the house less of a disaster before then!

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Hey ladies how are you all? We're preparing for Isabella's first birthday... Can't believe it's been a year!!

 

[hoping:)]

she assured me it was perfectly normal. After that I liked how loud she was because I always knew she was ok and would refer to her as my baby monster.

Davies- I’m glad the failed ventouse didn’t cause any permanent problems and Lexi is recovering well from it!

Jenny-I replied to you in the Disco thread

Kat- Congratulations and welcome to the mommy world. Your little guy is perfection! I just want to squeeze those cheeks!

Puppycat- I’m sorry you are having a rough time. I hope your husband makes it up to you and gives you a helping hand or a night to yourself/date night.

Mom2- I hope you and your daughter feel better soon! I just got done with a horrible cold as well. I hope you get lots and lots of pictures of your baby Jesus! That is too cute she already has her 1st appearance on stage!

Tracie- enjoy her birthday! It goes so fast!

Soon to be mommies- I hope the rest of your pregnancies fly by so you can hold your rainbows.

AFM- I received orders for our lab draws. This is that last step before we start the matching process!!! I have a whole bunch of emotions going through my mind. I’m hoping to have the lab work done by the end of the week.

I think we are finally finished with Christmas and have went overboard on gifts for Penny and Tim. We put Penny’s wooden kitchen together last night. I cried because I cracked (the size of a silver dollar)a piece but I think I have a good plan to fix it. I cannot wait to see her face when she gets a look at it. It is beautiful and something I would have loved as a child. She is really enjoying the Christmas tree and we often catch her rearranging the ornaments or shaking presents. I can't wait to see her delighted little face Christmas morning!

I am still reeling from the shootings in CT. I can't imagine how those parents must feel losing their little ones My heart breaks for them

 

[filipenko32]

Did anyone ever get 'lightning crotch'? It's becoming more and more frequent but obviously doesn't last long. It's painful when it happens though! also did anyone have to keel getting up in the night to pee just like the 1st tri at around 36 weeks?

 

[croydongirl]

fili - I never had hte lightening crotch but I did start having to get up to pee a bunch close tot he end...now every time I get up to feed Levi I have to pee still. Not sure if its just in my head now.
You are so close, i cannot wait to see your little bubba!!!!

 

[sara1]

Hi everyone

Kat: He's such a stunner!! I'm glad you're finally home and able to enjoy him and have family time. I found the hospital really frustrating with all the interruptions and tests etc... I know you're going to love having home all to yourselves.

Pups- Sorry to hear Samuel and Laura are poorly and you're fed up! I can't say I blame you. I think it's impossible not be envious of our dh's who, no matter how involved they are in parenting, get to go about their lives whenever they choose to.

Mom2- It's wonderful that your dh does so much for others but it sounds like you need to remind him that you need to be a priority too. It's very tough feeling isolated

Hoping- Sounds like you and Penny are both enjoying the holiday season. There's something about babies and christmas trees which I adore.

afm- I'm having a bit of a rough time of things. Eva's weight gain hasn't been great (She's in the 50th percentile for height and head circumference but only the 5th percentile for weight) so I'm double pumping every 3 hours in addition to breast feeding to bring up my supply. I'm also supplementing with one bottle a day. I hate it! It drives me crazy that I can't seem to produce enough milk to feed my baby, and I know it's silly but I feel like a failure. Dh is away so I'm juggling everything alone and absolutely exhausted and strung out. I spend most nights with her in the bjorn so I can walk her and pump simultaneously... the logistics of it are ridiculous. Have any of you been able to successfully up your supply so you could stop supplementing?

 

[bumpyplease]

Hi ladies, sorry I have been guilty of reading but not replying for a while now.

Sorry to hear a few if you are having a tough time at the moment, although amazing, being a mummy is HARD work and then when you throw in illness or single parenting for what ever reason it makes it even harder. Hugs to those of you that are struggling at the moment.

Sara I'm sorry I can't help as not BF but please don't think you are a failure. My milk didn't even come in - that is failing to feed my child!!!

Everyone ready for Xmas?

Davies how you getting on with the baby rice?

Heart you are travelling soon right? I hope you have the best time!

My brain is frazzled - hi everyone else!

 

[cazi77]

Hi sara sorry to hear you are having a rough time breastfeeding it sounds like you are doing all you can to up your supply and hopefully it will work very soon. You are doing a great job.

Hi bumpy hope you are well

Heart have a great trip

Hi everyone else

AFM we are fine Freya is 11 weeks now and weighs 10lb 14oz she is still on the 9th percentile but gaining weight at a nice stedy pace! Think we are sorted for Christmas we are going to my parents.

 

[cazi77]

Hi sara sorry to hear you are having a rough time breastfeeding it sounds like you are doing all you can to up your supply and hopefully it will work very soon. You are doing a great job.

Hi bumpy hope you are well

Heart have a great trip

Hi everyone else

AFM we are fine Freya is 11 weeks now and weighs 10lb 14oz she is still on the 9th percentile but gaining weight at a nice stedy pace! Think we are sorted for Christmas we are going to my parents.

 

[bumpyplease]

Alfie is on the 9th percentile too....but the 75th for his adjusted age little chunky monkey! He is 15 weeks old on Friday and just starting to wear his 0-3 months clothes!!

 

[KatM]

Hi Ladies,
I'm typing with Grey in his Ergo. Being home has been a dream compared to being in an awful hospital room. DH and I are acting as a team. BF is going pretty easy, though I feel like a milked cow. No complaints though. I am SOOOOO HAPPY to be a MARL.

Embo,
Now that we are home from the hospital, things are going great. Grey was more fussy today than yesterday, but no complaints. DH and I slept for about 6 hours last night and that includes me having to wake Grey up every 2 hours between feeds.
When did Max stop letting you squidge him.

Croy,
Labor sucks!!! I never knew pain like that. Post-labor recovery has been quick and easy. I have almost totally stopped breathing and can exercise already.

Sara,

I can't imagine surviving without DH right now. Is the pumping helping bring in your milk supply.

Hoping,
Sounds like Penny's first Christmas is going to be so special. I think you are an amazing person, I don't think I could ever be a surrogate. I completely hold surrogates in the highest regard.

 

[heart tree]

Hi MARLs! I want to respond to everyone but simply don't have time. I'm frantically trying to get organized for our trip on Thursday and Delilah had a rough night last night so I'm exhausted.

But I did want to quickly address Sara's post. It sounds very similar to my first few months. It was deflating, defeating, emotionally draining, etc. I felt like such a failure. I found myself in tears daily feeling like I couldn't feed my own child. I have a few tips for you, but first I want to tell you that you aren't a failure and there is no shame in using formula. It's difficult to come to terms with, but you might have to. Once I let go and accepted formula into our lives, it got easier.

That being said, things that helped me to increase my supply, aside from pumping were herbs. I'm not sure if you can get them in Greece, but I take Motherlove More Milk Plus. I also take Goat's Rue and Fenugreek. The first 2 I take in tincture form. Fenugreek I take in a capsule. These helped tremendously to increase my supply. You may also be able to get your hands on Domperidone. It's a prescription drug and it's supposed to be amazing to increase supply. It's not FDA approved for a dumb reason that I don't have time to write, but every lactation consultant I spoke to supports it's use. I couldn't get a doctor to write a prescription, but I know women who got it here and it worked like a charm. It's easier to get in Europe, so maybe ask your doctor.

Also, have you worked with a lactation consultant? How is Eva's latch? Has she been assessed for tongue tie? Delilah had a slight tongue tie, but not severe, so I decided against having it snipped. But I know women who had their babies clipped and they were able to latch and suck better and started gaining weight.

Another thing I did was called the Supplemental Nursing System. It's basically a bottle of milk or formula attached to a thin tube that you tape to your nipple. The tube goes into her mouth with your nipple. That way she is sucking and helping to increase the milk supply, but at the same time, you have peace of mind that she is getting enough food too. It's kind of a pain to set up each time they are hungry. But I stuck with it for a few weeks for every feed and it made a difference. It also eliminates the need to give her a bottle and gives her more time at the breast. I can give you more info on how to use this if you want. I know you can order them online.

I have heard that supply can be affected by having a C section as well as having a baby early. This might be your issue. Or you may not have as many milk ducts as someone else. Or she might not be efficiently getting all the milk out which pumping will help with. I'm impressed that you are able to pump while holding her. I never mastered that technique. One thing you want to make sure of though is that you are draining the breast while pumping. I posted a video for Croy on this thread a while back about how to more efficiently pump. It made a HUGE difference in how much I was able to express. It's all about massaging the breasts the entire time you pump. I used to pump 1-2 ounces at most. Now I pump 3-4 ounces easily. I'll see if I can find the link to the video for you.

For what it's worth, we still use formula from time to time. And honestly, sometimes it's easier. We always give her a bottle for her last feed before bed as it gives me a break, gives Tim some time with her and assures me she is getting enough. It's a win, win. Then after she goes to bed, I pump. I'm down to one pump a day. I used to pump after every single breast feed and it ruled my life. I was depressed. I felt isolated. I felt chained to the house and the pump. You'll get through this phase. But you may also have to throw in the towel at some point and accept that formula might be part of the equation. The good news is that you have milk and whatever you give her is good for her.

PM me if you have any questions. I know how hard it is. No one ever prepared me for how hard it could be. I had no idea. I learned a lot though and am happy to help however I can. xo

 

[heart tree]

Here's the link to the video. My lactation consultant told me about it. You have to enter an email address because it shows boobs and I think they want to deter the 13 y.o. boys who will watch anything to see a boob! It's a helpful video. I usually just wear my hands free bra and massage vigorously for 20 min while I pump. I tried to stop half way through and to hand express like they do in the video, but I don't get the volume that the woman on the video does. Maybe that technique will work for you though.

https://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/MaxProduction.html

Edit: Just looked and it doesn't look like they ask for email address anymore. Hope it helps!

 

[sara1]

Thanks so much Heart.
It really is amazing how demoralizing the whole thing is!!!
I saw a lactation consultant last week - she's the one who put me on the pumping protocol. Basically she said everything else is as it should be, no problems with the latch or tongue tie. She told me to take fenugreek (which I had to special order and should get today) and lecithin which helps blocked ducts. I'm going to ask about the prescription stuff you mentioned if that doesn't work.
Eva's pediatrician told me its psychological- that milk supply is "made in the head not the breast." Somehow it's just made me feel worse, like I'm sabotaging myself and my baby.
Hopefully things will be better when Alex gets home tomorrow
Ok I've got to put the phone down and squeeze my boobs!!

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Omg I have a 1 year old!!

 

[Embo78]

Sara you're doing fantastic. You can also pm me if you need any support. Breastfeeding is so hard. I've gone through so many emotions and times I've wanted to quit.
It's so hard when you really want to do it but you feel you're 'failing' in some way.
I think it's interesting what your doc said. About being in the mind. Try to have complete faith in your body (boobs!!!) Know that you're doing EVERYTHING you can to feed your child and if you need to supplement with formula, think about all that immunity and antibodies you've already given your lo.
Remember that a pump is way less efficient than your baby at getting milk out. Try not to gage the quantity as your genuine milk supply.

The breastfeeding section on here is quite interesting and kellymom is really good for information and tips.

 

[Embo78]

Happy birthday Isabella