My 2 year old (28 months) has been sitting on his sister:( and they're both hitting

[_jellybean_]

My 2 year old (28 months) has been sitting on his sister and my lg hits my lb a lot. We separate them. We say "we don't hit...we don't sit on each other because it hurts." We tell him that when she cries (she's 1 year old--16 months) that means that she doesn't like what he's doing, and that he has to stop. He doesn't listen, and this happens a few times a day, but then she also goes after him. She slaps him continuously on the face.

I don't know what to do. We do "time-ins" which is where we bring him close to us and talk to him about how he's feeling. My mom does "time-outs" with him, which isn't working either. Nothing that we're doing is working. We don't like time-outs, but are willing to try them, but they really go against my instincts. We want both of them to feel loved, and of course they need boundaries and rules, but dh and I just don't know what else to do.

My daughter doesn't really understand, since she's still so little, but I do think my son is starting to get that he's not supposed to hurt his little sister. Do you think he wants attention? Agh. Please help. We can't even walk into the other room. We have to have hawk eyes!

Any advice? Thanks.

 

[NoodleSnack]

I was like that with my older brother, we have about the same age gap, it lasted into our teenage yrs. The fights we had were quite rough. We still cared for each other, it's just what we did. We are great now. Not saying this to say you should let it be, just to let you know that it can be alright.

With regards to stopping it, if the grandparents and you are not consistent on a method, that could be a problem. And whatever method you choose, time in or out, apply it to both of them. You don't want your boy to feel like you favour your lg. Just maybe a shorter time for her since she's younger. Do you go out? I think maybe times with other children at playgroups will help them learn how to interact better and maybe less time together will give them a breather from each other.

 

[Eleanor ace]

No advice but I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with feral kids . DS is constantly pushing DD over, sitting on her, wrestling her... DD has started to get her own back by grabbing his hair and screaing in his face when he is tired and lying down . We do time outs for DS, removal and explaining that we don't hurt for Violet, and none of it works

 

[x Michelle x]

Feral kids here too!
They never listen, and now actually play wrestling together (well until one sits on/pulls hairs etc)
They are forever chasing each other, pushing and snatching, grabbing and hitting.
We have tried everything, but had no luck.
I'm guessing they might one day grow out of it.......

 

[GracieGoo]

Hi jellybean,

I haven't been on here in a long time but we had our children at roughly the same time so I remember your name quite well. If it is any consolation my 2 are exactly the same... We too have to be very careful. Things that seem to work are distraction, finding toys where there are more than 2 of the exact same thing they tend to play a bit easier.. Time out doesn't work for us, I don't feel it's appropriate for my lg as she seems too young to understand so therefore my lb gets more frustrated that she doesn't get 'punished' the same way, so we use a lot of nos and kiss and make ups. I just hope that it gets easier, and every so often I see amazing moment between them so I do know they care about each other very much.. I hope it gets better very soon x

 

[Wriggley]

My two have started squabbling my oldest likes to drag the youngest round the house and my youngest don't like it

My youngest can't get up the stairs so my oldest will sit at the top of the stairs tormenting my youngest

My youngest pulls my oldest hair bits him fairly often

Kids are plain evil to each other at times lol