My 3 yr old whinging is driving me nuts

[lau86]

This is a long long phase but is gradually getting worse. He starts crying st the drop of a hat, the things he cries about are really not things that he should be crying about eg he wants a drink!! He will cry and try to speak at the same time and for a long time I would calmly just say 'I can't understand you please stop crying', other times if I'm not sure I will give him a cuddle but keep saying the crying is a bit much.
It happens quite a few times a day and is annoying but it's really bothering me now because every time he wakes up he cries and won't say what he's crying about, or he asks for a drink but since forever his drink has been on his shelf within reach. If I ignore he just gets louder. He settles as soon as I go in usually and doesn't need anything, we've adjusted a few things but it's not helping.

 

[george83]

My nearly 3 year old doesn't cry but will also whine about everything single thing, in fact he wakes up moaning calling my name and it goes straight through me. I can ignore most things from my kids but this is something I just can't. With my lo it started because he was very behind with his speech (he's only just started talking now) and he just hasn't stopped it yet. Could your lo be struggling with communicating in some way?

 

[SarahBear]

This is a long long phase but is gradually getting worse. He starts crying st the drop of a hat, the things he cries about are really not things that he should be crying about eg he wants a drink!! He will cry and try to speak at the same time and for a long time I would calmly just say 'I can't understand you please stop crying', other times if I'm not sure I will give him a cuddle but keep saying the crying is a bit much.
It happens quite a few times a day and is annoying but it's really bothering me now because every time he wakes up he cries and won't say what he's crying about, or he asks for a drink but since forever his drink has been on his shelf within reach. If I ignore he just gets louder. He settles as soon as I go in usually and doesn't need anything, we've adjusted a few things but it's not helping.

I feel like Violet was really whiny at 3... I think if you actively teach him that whining isn't appropriate and actively teach him appropriate skills, it will sink in... eventually! When Violet starts getting extra whiny, I mostly deal with it in similar ways. I tell her I can't understand her when she talks like that. I will sometimes tell her it hurts my ears. I will also ignore. It does get louder, but helps in the long-run. I also sometimes tell her she needs to focus on calming down before she talks. If she were crying for something she didn't need and then calming down when I was in the room, I'd talk to her about what she really wanted - me in the room. Then I'd either walk her through asking appropriately or I'd indicate that I wasn't going to stay as well as the reason and then I'd ignore other crying. I think really all there is to it is consistent teaching of appropriate communication, reinforcement of appropriate communication, and doing your best to not reinforce whining.

 

[lau86]

Funny this, since I wrote this he actually hasn't been as bad. I felt bad as we had a really bad night and I thought it was just the habit but maybe he wasn't feeling well. It's just his go to behaviour whenever he's tired or whatever, some kids tantrum, he does this. I'm trying to carry on doing what I'm doing and hopefully he will grow out of it.

 

[SarahBear]

Funny this, since I wrote this he actually hasn't been as bad. I felt bad as we had a really bad night and I thought it was just the habit but maybe he wasn't feeling well. It's just his go to behaviour whenever he's tired or whatever, some kids tantrum, he does this. I'm trying to carry on doing what I'm doing and hopefully he will grow out of it.

I notice that when I post about an issue, the posting usually happens at the peak and things calm down shortly after I post.