My discapline style ?

[1st_baby]

OK so max is only 7 months old but this is for when hes older

After watching friends and family with there children Ive come up with this and please feel free to comment.

Rule 1: When it comes to food we should not ask children what they want? we should offer them what WE think is healthy and right .

rule 2: Sleeping I think the most appropriate time is 7pm latest and on weekends 8pm weather they are tired or not they should rest in there beds and fall asleep on there own

rule 3: If you play with something play with one thing at a time , once your done put it back where it was and take another toy out .

rule 4: Learn to respect adults even if there not your parents they have the right to tell you NO when your doing something wrong .

rule 5: Breakfast , lunch , supper and snacks kids should not eat after 7pm

DISCIPLINE : If you hit , scream pull fits you will go on the naughty chair until you apologize, I will never hit or yell at my child as this shows them nothing right , some ppl think that if a chil hits your or bites you you should do the same to them, but it shows nothing right to them but only confuses them ..

needless to say my family dose not agree with any of this they think its too strict ? any comments

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Okay i agree with some, disagree with others
I agree with the no hitting/yelling rule, and the naughty chair, I also agree with the no snacks after 7 Respect not only adults, but everyone.

I don't agree with the meals and giving them what you choose for them, I think they should help make a healthy decision, of course not all the time, but I think it would be nice to let them help. While I do agree with kids putting their toys away when they are finished with them, I am not sure if I agree with the one toy at a time thing...

 

[1st_baby]

Yeah after re-reading it I sound quite harsh lol they can play with more then one but not too many like dont go throwing your legos all over lol

as for choices I guess they can but I have to watch out for "junk" requests lol

 

[Alexas Mommy]

Yeah after re-reading it I sound quite harsh lol they can play with more then one but not too many like dont go throwing your legos all over lol

as for choices I guess they can but I have to watch out for "junk" requests lol

lol yeah I think that if you have your child "help" decide what's for supper, it will teach them important decision making skill, of course only healthy options though

 

[Caroline]

I think it depends on age of child.

I think when they are about 3 to 4 they can help in making food decisions.
Or offer a choice for breakfast, choice of lunch, but set meal for evening.

My older 2 get a choice of what they want for lunch.

I think its best offer a choice when they are old enought to have learnt good eating habits.

I too think the toy thing is a bit harsh.

My kids have set bedtime, they go to bed & stay in bed until morning, when they normally get uo to go to toilet. Normally go to bed about 7.30, but if getting too silly they will get put to bed earlier.

Children need boundaries to be set by a grown up and they have to enforced, even from a young age.

 

[Cariad_bach]

I agree with and have in place all of those rules, but i am quite old fashioned in alot of my rules lol.

My kids all know when there bed time is and go off quite happerly (7pm at the very latest)

They eat the meals i cook them because ive usually started it before there home from school/nursery

I have 3 young kids and my house would be a tip without the toy rule.
They get something out, play with it, and put it away before getting something else out.

They cant eat after 7pm because there in bed (i alow reading and playing with teddies in bed but i dont have TV's etc upstairs)

The other rule i have is table manners...

I like them to use a knife and fork, say please and thanks, as before getting down etc


My kids are 6, 5 and 3 and alot of my family think im harsh at times,
Im a full time mum and spend alot of my time with my kids, baking colouring, painting, reading ...... i love being a mum and i love the fact that i can take my kids anywhere and they always do me proud

 

[Tezzy]

i agree with almost everything youve written

Rule 1: When it comes to food we should not ask children what they want? we should offer them what WE think is healthy and right . i give rhys a choice of breakfast and his snacks, but lunch and dinner he doesnt have a choice

rule 2: Sleeping I think the most appropriate time is 7pm latest and on weekends 8pm weather they are tired or not they should rest in there beds and fall asleep on there own i agree with this. both ours are in bed by 7

rule 3: If you play with something play with one thing at a time , once your done put it back where it was and take another toy out . rhys is limited to 10 toys downstairs and the rest are in his room. if he wants another toy down he has to take a toy up

rule 4: Learn to respect adults even if there not your parents they have the right to tell you NO when your doing something wrong . i agree, rhys is very respectful and listens to other people say no to him

rule 5: Breakfast , lunch , supper and snacks kids should not eat after 7pm i agree with this too

DISCIPLINE : If you hit , scream pull fits you will go on the naughty chair until you apologize, I will never hit or yell at my child as this shows them nothing right , some ppl think that if a chil hits your or bites you you should do the same to them, but it shows nothing right to them but only confuses them .. we have bitten rhys once when he first bit me but after i felt really bad and now we never smack or bite him back rhys has a naughty wall which he stands against

 

[msangie11]

No I don't think you sound too strict at all. I have two DD's aged 11 and 4 and they are both angels at home and out in public which I am very proud of.
I am definitely in agreement on rule 1 and have never had a problem with getting my girls to eat fruit or veg as they were weaned on them and have eaten what I cook ever since. They choose what breakfasts and lunch they would like now that they are older (from the choices I give them) and dinner is whatever I choose to prepare as our family meal. I think the key to getting babies and children to eat a wide variety of foods is to feed them what you eat from as early as possible. I am not a huge fan of baby jar foods although they are good for convenience, they taste nothing like what you will prepare from scratch so starting good habits from a young age will make your life much easier down the line.
Rule 2 - 7pm is a reasonable time if that is what fits into your familly lifestyle. The key is to have a routine for your child so whether bedtime is 7pm, 7.30pm or 8pm as long as they know what their evening routine is it is easy to get them to go to sleep at a set time daily.
Rule 3 - I never did the "one toy at a time" rule as I believe they should play freely however they do have a "tidy up time" rule which does not just apply to their toys. I describe our family to my girls as being a team and while we have our different roles to play we must all help eachother so they also share in the chores like clearing the table after dinner, putting their clothes in the laundry basket etc. I always say the quicker we get this done, the quicker mummy can sit and spend time with you, reading playing etc.
Rule 4 - I teach respect for all - themselves, adults and children alike.
Rule 5 - My girls both go to bed 7.30pm for the little one and 8.30pm for my eldest and have a bedtime drink before this but no food or snacks. It is not necessary as they have "eaten" (rule 1) a wholesome and filling dinner.

It is good to have boundaries and sometimes you have to be a bit cruel to be kind, but in the long run it pays off as you raise your children into respectful people. The most I have to do is raise my voice on occasion but generally a look will suffice. I never have to smack my children it is not necessary and I don't believe it teaches anything. We have the benefit of speech so communicate, communicate, communicate.

Happy New Year to you all when it comes

 

[JASMAK]

Best peice of advice I ever got was "go with the flow", and I use it for EVERYTHING. Not saying rules aren't good. Out of all my friends, I would say that I am probably more strict with my kids than any of them. But, my kids are GOOD kids, so I feel that it is working. But, I also "don't sweat the small stuff". I pick a couple things that I want my kids to work on, otherwise I am saying no for everything. But, I do dislike unruly and rude kids that are spoiled brats, and boy do I see some, espesially at my son's school and some of his friends. I am sure if you are already thinking of rules, then you will be good with rules. I always say to Rob (who tends to be a bit of a pushover) - "we are their parents, not their friends". It is true.... Anyway, a bit of a ramble. LOL!

 

[mommyof3co]

I agree with some and disagree with others. I think as a parent you have to pick your battles and things such as one toy at a tme I don't think it's worth it. I just let my boys play BUT at the ed of the night they do have to clean their room before bed.

I think the no yelling, hitting thing is great though.

As for food we give the boys 2 choices for breakfast and lunch and they can choose, but for dinner they eat what I make, they don't get another choice.

To me the no eating after 7 and bedtime at that time seems a bit crazy for our family lol but that is just whatever works for your schedule at the time.